Contemplation

[fluffyfatal]

 Reality is, I am at crux. Slowly I'm solidifying the values and preferences in my personality. I think I was but a babe until a year ago. Being  totally demolded by whatever I went through that I'm not ready to demystify right now.

Being back in a structured system with a new or faded perspective about institutions in general is giving a new

Comments

[dakfinv]

You're not crazy, Hyun. Well, maybe a little. But no more than me. (If that says anything at all, which it probably doesn't.) As always, I understand about half of what you're talking about. It's taken me two years since graduation to get me somewhere relative to where I want to be (career-wise) and what I want to be doing. And every month it's a struggle because I am, I've recently discovered, a professional freelancer. So are most of the people I work with, but the difference is they've been doing it for years, understand how the system works, and have resumes that can get them jobs with barely an interview.

I'm not at that stage, yet. I'll have to fight for every job I want and hope that another one will present itself at the right time. It's crazy stressful, and then later rewarding (at least when everything works out it is.)

Anyway, I don't really know what I'm getting at. I guess only trying to reassure you that you're not alone in this struggle we call the "WTF are we going to do with ourselves now that college is over and not coming back?" Dammit. If only we'd gone to Stern we would've had our entire lives plotted out for us and $200K a year jobs fresh out of graduation. Of course, then we'd also have no time for social lives, no soul, and at least three mistresses on the side. (That's what happens with Sternies, isn't it?

Either way, we've both grown up in a culture where instant gratification is key. We expect everything and we expect it all now. It's not until we reach this stage of the "real world" that we start learning the hard way that that isn't how life actually is. Even if we knew this before, we don't understand it until we experience it.

I don't really know what I'm saying anymore so I'll just say: Hershey Park. It's waiting for you, my friend. It's waiting.