Fic: Opposites Attract (Faith/Buffybot)
Wrote this for the last Faith round over at femslash_minis
Title: Opposites Attract.
Pairing: Faith/Buffybot
Word count: 2300
Rating: Teen
Prompt: Slayer rivalries, kicking ass, personal style.
Written for: brutti_ma_buoni
Opposites Attract
Faith waited until she'd pulled up outside the warehouse before she felt up the Bot to find the ON switch. It was just easier on the ears that way, and her conscience, but damn she would never get used to how real this mechanical bitch's plastic skin felt!
She waited while the eyelids flickered a few times but as soon as those hazel eyes were focused front and center she said, “Yo, you good to go?”
She'd been too quick. There was a few seconds delay before the Buffybot replied, “Yes, Faith, I am good to go. How are you? How is your social ehabilitation going today?”
“Fine. Same as yesterday. Thanks for asking . . . again.” She was pretty sure she'd told Willow more than once to fix that glitch in the Bot's memory, but it still kept coming out of her mouth. “Get out of the truck. It's time to patrol.”
“I like patrolling.”
“I know.” It was the only reason she ever agreed to have the robot along with her. That and the fact that despite the updates on her murderous well-being she was the only person that didn't actually treat her like somebody to be suspicious of. “Giles says there's a nest here.”
“A nest of vampires? Goodie.”
“Goodie?” Faith laughed and tilted her head to see up the Bot's skirt as she shuffled forward on her ass to get out of the truck. Sue her, she'd always wondered what was up there. She didn't get her answer though, the stupid pleated pink skirt was in the way. “So we're looking at half a dozen vamps, maybe more. Think you can keep up?”
“Yes. I can regulate my pace with yours.”
“I meant once we get in there. Can you hold your own or will I have to carry you?”
“I have never slayed vampires while being carried before. Is that how you would like to slay the vampires tonight, Faith? If you need to carry me to be effective I am sure I will adapt.”
“No, I didn't mean . . .” They were at the double doors of the warehouse now and Faith shook her head. “Don't worry about it. On the count of three?”
“One. Two. Three.”
Faith had raised her leg, but the Buffybot was just counting for the fun of it, so she dropped her foot back down, feeling like an idiot. “You were supposed to kick on three!”
“Kick what?”
“The doors! You go one, two, three ki . . .”
The BuffyBot's heel connected with the lock and the warehouse doors swung open.
“There ya go,” Faith praised it, but they'd taken too long and every vampire nesting inside had come to the doors to defend their territory.
“Shit!” The sight of them put Faith on the back foot, her knuckles clenching white as she held her stake defensively up by her shoulder. That was a fuck-load of vampires staring back at them. There was no getting around it, this was going to be me-lee and they had to jump in while the critters were still wondering why two hot chicks had knocked at their door. The only way to keep any kind of advantage was to hit them hard and now and Faith's muscles bunched as she prepared to leap forward.
“Hello!” A bright voice from beside her intervened. “I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, and I'm here to clean out your nest of evil, you scurfiest fiends.”
Faith did a double-take. “What the hell was that? Are you gonna go around the group shaking hands for your next trick? 'Cause there's like twenty Vamps here and I've got shit to do later.”
“There are twenty-three vampires,” The B-bot corrected her, making Faith throw her hands up in a whatever.
“Actually Walsa and Little Joey are in the back,” a helpful vampire told them. “So it's more like twenty-five.”
Another checked with his neighbour, “What does scurfiest mean again? I thought it was something to do with a lack of vitamin C.”
Faith didn't know either and they weren't going to find out yet because the introductions were done apparently and the B-bot had taken out three of the vampires before anyone, including Faith, had noticed. She was several feet into the dimly lit warehouse now and, if Faith was any judge, about to be surrounded.
She was holding her own though. Robot Buffy's style was methodical but effective. If the vampires stayed where she could see them, but this wasn't that kind of fight. There were too many of them. B-bot carried on like she didn't realize it and the vamps in front of her continued to disintegrate as she plunged her stake in, pulled it out, made a bad pun - she'd dusted so many already she'd had to start repeating them - and then moved automatically towards the next closest foe.
That could be a problem. There were so many foes crowding around her that trying to decide which one to go to next might be enough to fry her circuits.
It was probably a good time for her to step in, instead of hanging out by the door like an untipped pizza delivery chick. She waded into the throng with elbows and fists, taking the dicks totally focused on the B-bot by surprise. It didn't take them a minute to realize they had two attackers though and then she was as equally surrounded by the hissing, growling, fang-faced ass-holes.
Faith punched, kicked, shoved and a few times throttled the fiends before finishing them off with her stake and the whole time she could hear the reassuring sound of a shit quip and the whoosh of a vamp becoming dust in the background.
Soon enough there was visible space between the vampires and not long after that the biggest vamp she had ever seen ran towards them from the back of the room. He was fucking huge! For real, he made Kakistos look like a skinny midget!
“Little Joey, right?” she guessed with a grin that was more confident than she felt about going up against that.
“No, I'm Walsa. That's Little Joey.” The massive dude pointed behind him to a short vamp-faced kid and while she was still taking the information in he swung a ham-sized fist at her face.
Fucking-ow!
“Faith, you are on the ground! Are you still able to function?”
“Yeah, I'm fine.” She was already getting back to her feet despite the ringing in her ears.
“You sound weak. Would you like me to stake your adversary for you?”
“No, and fuck you I'm not weak! I got this.”
“Are you sure? I do have a greater stake ratio to you on this mission.”
“Only 'cause you're a fucking robot!”
“She's a robot?” Walsa turned around in surprise to check the B-bot out. His curiosity was his downfall.
Faith ran a short burst, leapt high and used both hands to stab her stake into his back. She wasn't even sure if her modest chair leg would be enough to pierce all of the fat and muscle covering him, so she pushed and pushed it and twisted it for good measure and suddenly there was a loud whoop sound and Faith landed back on her feet. She coughed out the dust that she had sucked into the back of her throat and saw that she was missing two inches from the pointiest bit of her stake.
That pissed her off so bad that she yelled out and flung the useless chunk of wood at the closest approaching vampire face. It knocked his head back and gave her enough time to pull her knife from the holster on her belt and stab that into his heart.
“Faith, these are vampires. A dagger will not be effective in . . .” Fang-Ugly poofed into a million particles and the Buffybot said, “Oh.”
“Had the blade blessed with Holy water. Doesn't always work but it did this time.” Faith held her knife up again and called to the remaining vampires, “Anyone else up for a little Russian Roulette?”
The baby-faced Little Joey was apparently the smartest of the bunch and decided he wasn't. As he ran for the door she let him, even though she could have grabbed him and rung his little neck easily enough. That left three bloodsuckers up for a game and they all started advancing on them at once; with lots of nasty, drooling teeth on display.
Faith pulled her knife higher as she said, “Oh, this is going to be fun.”
“Faith, a vampire has gotten away. We should give chase and slay it!”
“Or we could concentrate on the guys who stuck around for the party,” she said right before she leapt forwards and headbutted a vamp in the face. She knocked it onto his back and with a gleeful shout she spun around, whipping the tip of her knife across the throat of another. That one went down to its knees with both hands held to the deep gash. “Actually you can give chase if you want; I'm all over these fuckers!”
The Buffybot stared into space and Faith thought she'd caused a systems meltdown, but then she blinked and it turned out she'd just been thinking, uh, computing or whatever.. “But if you slay these three and I slay that one then you will exceed my total by two.”
Faith was having trouble with the last vamp standing. He was quick and wiry and punching above his weight with her and she was more intent on getting a clear shot at its chest than what the B-bot was saying. “What?”
“You have been keeping score and I do not wish to lose to you.”
“Jeez, you're just like Buffy.”
“Yes, I am Buffy.”
Faith rolled her eyes and took an opportunity to drive her knife deep into the difficult vampire's heart. He stared at her in dismay. She stared at him, waiting. Nothing happened.
“Shit!”
He looked down and realized the same thing that she had and then grabbed her throat with both hands. “I guess I win, Slayer.”
Yeah, as his fingers tightened around her airway it certainly felt like it. She clawed at his face and kicked his shins and ankles with the same result. Through eyes now smattered with black spots she saw the B-bot bend down and stake the one she'd dazed with the headbutt and then the one who's throat she'd slit.
“I win!” she said with all of her ultra-bright cheerfulness once they were both dust,. “I will hunt for the one that ran away now. If you are sure you have this under control.”
“Ohg yeg, totagly ong . . .” She needed to be sick but she couldn't let that happen, the vampire's hands would keep it locked in her throat and she'd probably choke to death. “Yug guh,” she told the B-bot, because if she was going to go out like this she didn't want any witnesses who could spread her humiliation around.
“I'm sorry, Faith, I cannot understand what you are saying. Please speak more clearly.”
The vampire taking her life grinned and squeezed his fingers until she couldn't make any words at all. Faith managed to gurgle out a few weird sounds. They made no sense and she knew that would be the last chance she had because she could feel a black-out coming on.
“I am still struggling to understand your words, Faith. I'm concerned that your power is failing.”
Jesus fucking Christ that was going to be the last thing she ever heard! And from a fucking robot too. A hot robot for sure, and a funny one - although it wasn't usually intentional - but that's why Faith enjoyed patrolling with her. She could be a kinda caring one too. Usually. Not so much now obviously. She always asked how Faith's day was going, though, before asking about her mental well-being. She wasn't just a robot, she was . . . a friend . . . who just happened to look like Buffy and be made of circuits and shit. Oh for fuck's sake, now she was gonna start crying about never seeing her again! This was totally not the glorious death she'd sometimes envisioned for herself.
WHOOSH
“I'm sorry for taking a slay away from you, Faith, but I was failing to understand everything you said and I was worried that some of it might have been important.”
Faith was on her knees, coughing her guts up, but she had to laugh at that. She coughed a few more times and then forced herself back to her feet. “Don't worry about it. You win tonight.”
The B-bot beamed but then her expression turned troubled, compelling Faith to ask, “What's wrong?”
“I don't know, my skin feels all tight and tingly,” she said, rolling her shoulders and stretching her arms.
“Yeah?” Faith might not have had the last slay but she was feeling pretty tingly too. “In a good way or a bad way?”
“Well it feels good to feel like this but it kinds makes me want to be bad.”
“You had me on-board at bad. Wanna get some ribs and then see where the night takes us?” Faith joked and kissed her because there was nothing like a good slay with a helping of real danger to wet the appetite . . . and the pussy.
“I don't have any ribs, Faith, but I do enjoy imbibing the occasional pint of grease-based lubricant.”
“Kinky.”
“And I also really enjoy sex.”
Faith smiled with pure pleasure. “Come on then, babe. Let's go break into an auto-shop and have some fun.”
Title: Opposites Attract.
Pairing: Faith/Buffybot
Word count: 2300
Rating: Teen
Prompt: Slayer rivalries, kicking ass, personal style.
Written for: brutti_ma_buoni
Opposites Attract
Faith waited until she'd pulled up outside the warehouse before she felt up the Bot to find the ON switch. It was just easier on the ears that way, and her conscience, but damn she would never get used to how real this mechanical bitch's plastic skin felt!
She waited while the eyelids flickered a few times but as soon as those hazel eyes were focused front and center she said, “Yo, you good to go?”
She'd been too quick. There was a few seconds delay before the Buffybot replied, “Yes, Faith, I am good to go. How are you? How is your social ehabilitation going today?”
“Fine. Same as yesterday. Thanks for asking . . . again.” She was pretty sure she'd told Willow more than once to fix that glitch in the Bot's memory, but it still kept coming out of her mouth. “Get out of the truck. It's time to patrol.”
“I like patrolling.”
“I know.” It was the only reason she ever agreed to have the robot along with her. That and the fact that despite the updates on her murderous well-being she was the only person that didn't actually treat her like somebody to be suspicious of. “Giles says there's a nest here.”
“A nest of vampires? Goodie.”
“Goodie?” Faith laughed and tilted her head to see up the Bot's skirt as she shuffled forward on her ass to get out of the truck. Sue her, she'd always wondered what was up there. She didn't get her answer though, the stupid pleated pink skirt was in the way. “So we're looking at half a dozen vamps, maybe more. Think you can keep up?”
“Yes. I can regulate my pace with yours.”
“I meant once we get in there. Can you hold your own or will I have to carry you?”
“I have never slayed vampires while being carried before. Is that how you would like to slay the vampires tonight, Faith? If you need to carry me to be effective I am sure I will adapt.”
“No, I didn't mean . . .” They were at the double doors of the warehouse now and Faith shook her head. “Don't worry about it. On the count of three?”
“One. Two. Three.”
Faith had raised her leg, but the Buffybot was just counting for the fun of it, so she dropped her foot back down, feeling like an idiot. “You were supposed to kick on three!”
“Kick what?”
“The doors! You go one, two, three ki . . .”
The BuffyBot's heel connected with the lock and the warehouse doors swung open.
“There ya go,” Faith praised it, but they'd taken too long and every vampire nesting inside had come to the doors to defend their territory.
“Shit!” The sight of them put Faith on the back foot, her knuckles clenching white as she held her stake defensively up by her shoulder. That was a fuck-load of vampires staring back at them. There was no getting around it, this was going to be me-lee and they had to jump in while the critters were still wondering why two hot chicks had knocked at their door. The only way to keep any kind of advantage was to hit them hard and now and Faith's muscles bunched as she prepared to leap forward.
“Hello!” A bright voice from beside her intervened. “I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, and I'm here to clean out your nest of evil, you scurfiest fiends.”
Faith did a double-take. “What the hell was that? Are you gonna go around the group shaking hands for your next trick? 'Cause there's like twenty Vamps here and I've got shit to do later.”
“There are twenty-three vampires,” The B-bot corrected her, making Faith throw her hands up in a whatever.
“Actually Walsa and Little Joey are in the back,” a helpful vampire told them. “So it's more like twenty-five.”
Another checked with his neighbour, “What does scurfiest mean again? I thought it was something to do with a lack of vitamin C.”
Faith didn't know either and they weren't going to find out yet because the introductions were done apparently and the B-bot had taken out three of the vampires before anyone, including Faith, had noticed. She was several feet into the dimly lit warehouse now and, if Faith was any judge, about to be surrounded.
She was holding her own though. Robot Buffy's style was methodical but effective. If the vampires stayed where she could see them, but this wasn't that kind of fight. There were too many of them. B-bot carried on like she didn't realize it and the vamps in front of her continued to disintegrate as she plunged her stake in, pulled it out, made a bad pun - she'd dusted so many already she'd had to start repeating them - and then moved automatically towards the next closest foe.
That could be a problem. There were so many foes crowding around her that trying to decide which one to go to next might be enough to fry her circuits.
It was probably a good time for her to step in, instead of hanging out by the door like an untipped pizza delivery chick. She waded into the throng with elbows and fists, taking the dicks totally focused on the B-bot by surprise. It didn't take them a minute to realize they had two attackers though and then she was as equally surrounded by the hissing, growling, fang-faced ass-holes.
Faith punched, kicked, shoved and a few times throttled the fiends before finishing them off with her stake and the whole time she could hear the reassuring sound of a shit quip and the whoosh of a vamp becoming dust in the background.
Soon enough there was visible space between the vampires and not long after that the biggest vamp she had ever seen ran towards them from the back of the room. He was fucking huge! For real, he made Kakistos look like a skinny midget!
“Little Joey, right?” she guessed with a grin that was more confident than she felt about going up against that.
“No, I'm Walsa. That's Little Joey.” The massive dude pointed behind him to a short vamp-faced kid and while she was still taking the information in he swung a ham-sized fist at her face.
Fucking-ow!
“Faith, you are on the ground! Are you still able to function?”
“Yeah, I'm fine.” She was already getting back to her feet despite the ringing in her ears.
“You sound weak. Would you like me to stake your adversary for you?”
“No, and fuck you I'm not weak! I got this.”
“Are you sure? I do have a greater stake ratio to you on this mission.”
“Only 'cause you're a fucking robot!”
“She's a robot?” Walsa turned around in surprise to check the B-bot out. His curiosity was his downfall.
Faith ran a short burst, leapt high and used both hands to stab her stake into his back. She wasn't even sure if her modest chair leg would be enough to pierce all of the fat and muscle covering him, so she pushed and pushed it and twisted it for good measure and suddenly there was a loud whoop sound and Faith landed back on her feet. She coughed out the dust that she had sucked into the back of her throat and saw that she was missing two inches from the pointiest bit of her stake.
That pissed her off so bad that she yelled out and flung the useless chunk of wood at the closest approaching vampire face. It knocked his head back and gave her enough time to pull her knife from the holster on her belt and stab that into his heart.
“Faith, these are vampires. A dagger will not be effective in . . .” Fang-Ugly poofed into a million particles and the Buffybot said, “Oh.”
“Had the blade blessed with Holy water. Doesn't always work but it did this time.” Faith held her knife up again and called to the remaining vampires, “Anyone else up for a little Russian Roulette?”
The baby-faced Little Joey was apparently the smartest of the bunch and decided he wasn't. As he ran for the door she let him, even though she could have grabbed him and rung his little neck easily enough. That left three bloodsuckers up for a game and they all started advancing on them at once; with lots of nasty, drooling teeth on display.
Faith pulled her knife higher as she said, “Oh, this is going to be fun.”
“Faith, a vampire has gotten away. We should give chase and slay it!”
“Or we could concentrate on the guys who stuck around for the party,” she said right before she leapt forwards and headbutted a vamp in the face. She knocked it onto his back and with a gleeful shout she spun around, whipping the tip of her knife across the throat of another. That one went down to its knees with both hands held to the deep gash. “Actually you can give chase if you want; I'm all over these fuckers!”
The Buffybot stared into space and Faith thought she'd caused a systems meltdown, but then she blinked and it turned out she'd just been thinking, uh, computing or whatever.. “But if you slay these three and I slay that one then you will exceed my total by two.”
Faith was having trouble with the last vamp standing. He was quick and wiry and punching above his weight with her and she was more intent on getting a clear shot at its chest than what the B-bot was saying. “What?”
“You have been keeping score and I do not wish to lose to you.”
“Jeez, you're just like Buffy.”
“Yes, I am Buffy.”
Faith rolled her eyes and took an opportunity to drive her knife deep into the difficult vampire's heart. He stared at her in dismay. She stared at him, waiting. Nothing happened.
“Shit!”
He looked down and realized the same thing that she had and then grabbed her throat with both hands. “I guess I win, Slayer.”
Yeah, as his fingers tightened around her airway it certainly felt like it. She clawed at his face and kicked his shins and ankles with the same result. Through eyes now smattered with black spots she saw the B-bot bend down and stake the one she'd dazed with the headbutt and then the one who's throat she'd slit.
“I win!” she said with all of her ultra-bright cheerfulness once they were both dust,. “I will hunt for the one that ran away now. If you are sure you have this under control.”
“Ohg yeg, totagly ong . . .” She needed to be sick but she couldn't let that happen, the vampire's hands would keep it locked in her throat and she'd probably choke to death. “Yug guh,” she told the B-bot, because if she was going to go out like this she didn't want any witnesses who could spread her humiliation around.
“I'm sorry, Faith, I cannot understand what you are saying. Please speak more clearly.”
The vampire taking her life grinned and squeezed his fingers until she couldn't make any words at all. Faith managed to gurgle out a few weird sounds. They made no sense and she knew that would be the last chance she had because she could feel a black-out coming on.
“I am still struggling to understand your words, Faith. I'm concerned that your power is failing.”
Jesus fucking Christ that was going to be the last thing she ever heard! And from a fucking robot too. A hot robot for sure, and a funny one - although it wasn't usually intentional - but that's why Faith enjoyed patrolling with her. She could be a kinda caring one too. Usually. Not so much now obviously. She always asked how Faith's day was going, though, before asking about her mental well-being. She wasn't just a robot, she was . . . a friend . . . who just happened to look like Buffy and be made of circuits and shit. Oh for fuck's sake, now she was gonna start crying about never seeing her again! This was totally not the glorious death she'd sometimes envisioned for herself.
WHOOSH
“I'm sorry for taking a slay away from you, Faith, but I was failing to understand everything you said and I was worried that some of it might have been important.”
Faith was on her knees, coughing her guts up, but she had to laugh at that. She coughed a few more times and then forced herself back to her feet. “Don't worry about it. You win tonight.”
The B-bot beamed but then her expression turned troubled, compelling Faith to ask, “What's wrong?”
“I don't know, my skin feels all tight and tingly,” she said, rolling her shoulders and stretching her arms.
“Yeah?” Faith might not have had the last slay but she was feeling pretty tingly too. “In a good way or a bad way?”
“Well it feels good to feel like this but it kinds makes me want to be bad.”
“You had me on-board at bad. Wanna get some ribs and then see where the night takes us?” Faith joked and kissed her because there was nothing like a good slay with a helping of real danger to wet the appetite . . . and the pussy.
“I don't have any ribs, Faith, but I do enjoy imbibing the occasional pint of grease-based lubricant.”
“Kinky.”
“And I also really enjoy sex.”
Faith smiled with pure pleasure. “Come on then, babe. Let's go break into an auto-shop and have some fun.”