(no subject)
Well, Fifi was put to sleep this morning.
I don't like when my parents decline from telling me of these things for the entire day because they didn't want to bother me at school.
I kinda feel like the death of my childhood dog kind of trumps going to Physical Geography.
But, I digress. I knew it was coming. I slept over my parents house on Tuesday night for an early doctor's appointment in the morning. Fifi was not in the best of shape. She hadn't been eating for days, she was ragged and walked like .. well .. an old lady. Which she was. They had to put fluids into her via her neck, which I didn't really want to see. She was on a lot of medication, too.
I let her out to go to the bathroom at 3am, and she nearly refused to come in. It was 30 degrees out. Usually, she runs out, goes, and runs back in when its that cold. But she just stood there, staring at me. She didn't even bark to be let in. She stopped barking completely. She was always a barker. She barked at me all the time until I scolded her. She yelled at Patrick, even tough she knew him since she was a puppy, to the very last day he saw her. But she hasn't barked at me in the past two weeks. And she didn't even lift her head or wag her tail when I walked in. So, there she was. Just standing outside in the cold night, staring at me, not wanting to come in. I knew she wanted to just be left out there to die. It's how animals want to go. It would have been painless. She wouldn't bark to come in all night and she would have been frozen by the morning. As morbid as it sounds, I feel like I should have done that. It would have been very Old Yeller. She was, technically, my dog, even though my Uncle took care of her more. And I feel bad that I couldn't even grant her her own death. She was practically begging me. She just wanted to lay in the grass, and just .. die. Freeze over and let her system just stop. .. So I dragged her back inside, as she just moped and hung her head and stumbled back into the house.
Last night I was thinking about that and I was actually going to call my parents today to try and convince them that they should put her down. It wasn't fair that we wanted her around even though she was so sick and old. The doctor said we'd have a few more months, so maybe that's all we were hoping for.
I just kind of wanted her around for her last Christmas. I was going to spoil the shit out of her.
I don't like when my parents decline from telling me of these things for the entire day because they didn't want to bother me at school.
I kinda feel like the death of my childhood dog kind of trumps going to Physical Geography.
But, I digress. I knew it was coming. I slept over my parents house on Tuesday night for an early doctor's appointment in the morning. Fifi was not in the best of shape. She hadn't been eating for days, she was ragged and walked like .. well .. an old lady. Which she was. They had to put fluids into her via her neck, which I didn't really want to see. She was on a lot of medication, too.
I let her out to go to the bathroom at 3am, and she nearly refused to come in. It was 30 degrees out. Usually, she runs out, goes, and runs back in when its that cold. But she just stood there, staring at me. She didn't even bark to be let in. She stopped barking completely. She was always a barker. She barked at me all the time until I scolded her. She yelled at Patrick, even tough she knew him since she was a puppy, to the very last day he saw her. But she hasn't barked at me in the past two weeks. And she didn't even lift her head or wag her tail when I walked in. So, there she was. Just standing outside in the cold night, staring at me, not wanting to come in. I knew she wanted to just be left out there to die. It's how animals want to go. It would have been painless. She wouldn't bark to come in all night and she would have been frozen by the morning. As morbid as it sounds, I feel like I should have done that. It would have been very Old Yeller. She was, technically, my dog, even though my Uncle took care of her more. And I feel bad that I couldn't even grant her her own death. She was practically begging me. She just wanted to lay in the grass, and just .. die. Freeze over and let her system just stop. .. So I dragged her back inside, as she just moped and hung her head and stumbled back into the house.
Last night I was thinking about that and I was actually going to call my parents today to try and convince them that they should put her down. It wasn't fair that we wanted her around even though she was so sick and old. The doctor said we'd have a few more months, so maybe that's all we were hoping for.
I just kind of wanted her around for her last Christmas. I was going to spoil the shit out of her.