Can't take it.
This has been a day of ups and downs. I turned in my take home final and made small talk with the TA. I think it's strong but I could have done a lot better on the final if I really cared about it.
I came home to go to the kiwanis meeting, which I almost didn't go to, but the guest speaker inspired me
and now I have something I want to work on over the summer.
Richard and Time came over and we played Halo for a bit. I was all in cleaning mode and everything. Ended up playing for like 3 hours after they left till I realized I was exhausted.
I woke up around 9:30pm to my mom calling the house phone, wondering why I wouldn't pick up my cell, which was still on vibrate. She goes on to tell me that my brother got hurt at work, hit with pipes in his chest hard enough to leave a huge bruise. I called him later and he was like "i'll talk to you when you get home, i'm in the middle of a game"
She then went on to tell me that my cousin, Kim, passed away at 2:10 this afternoon. Normally I would have all sorts of emotions, but I really don't and that disturbs me. She went into a coma one week after my dad passed away and has never woken up. Remember that Shrivo case a while back? That hit home hard and I couldn't understand the parents who wanted to keep her alive. My aunt and uncle were like those parents. I think I accepted Kim's death about three years ago, at the first anniversary of my Dad. She wasn't waking up and I remember crying for her then. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel at this point, well I think I should be crying, but it's not a sudden event. I'm going home soon and it feels so distant, I feel like I don't belong there anymore which is horrible to say. I don't know what I'm saying, I just don't want to deal with anymore deaths. It gets hard to find hope when so many people in your life pass away suddenly, or in this case, for a while. I just can't take it anymore.