Log: Thanks For Taking Me Out But Now I'm Going to Come Out
Who: Jenna "Jen" Torres and Alvin Smith
When: Friday, January 21, 2019
Where: Texas Roadhouse and Jen's house
What: A not date
Jen sat on her bed eyes glued to the time on her cellphone. She’d finished getting ready a few minutes ago and now she was just waiting for Alvin to come pick her up. 6:40. 6:41. Alvin was supposed to come at 7:00. 7:00 was early for a date, right? So what that is was a Friday night and Alvin was coming to pick her up and the word ‘date’ had in fact been mentioned when planning this thing. Jen fell back onto her bed holding her phone up above her as she slowly typed out a message to Alvin. Hey, when you get here just text me and I’ll come out. She sent the message and then pulled a pillow over her face. Maybe if she closed her eyes she’d wake up and this not date would be over.
Alvin looked in the mirror before grabbing his keys and heading out to the car. As he buckled up, he heard his phone go off. After reading the message he replied. Hey Jen! I’m about to leave my house now. I should be there in about 5 minutes. :D He hoped his message didn’t come off as too eager, he was just excited to be finally going on a date with her. Jen was really pretty and he had liked her for a while now.
Jen felt her phone vibrate on the bed beside her and she blindly slid her hand out to her side searching for it. Pulling the pillow from her face she warily read Alvin’s message. She’d just come out of a three year relationship. It had ended horribly and was never really an honest relationship to begin with but to keep things as drama free as possible she should’ve found some way to say no to him. But Alvin was a great guy and he’d been so sweet when he asked. She liked him she just didn’t like him. Great. :) I’ll see you then. This was going to be an interesting night.
Pulling up to her house, he texted Jen back. I’m here. Alvin hadn’t really give Jen ‘No’ as an option for this date and he wanted to make sure she didn’t feel too pressured or awkward. Getting out of the car, he walked around to the passenger side to wait for her to come out. My mom always taught me to be a gentleman. Opening the car door is gentleman-like, right? His nerves were starting to get to him and he was hoping it wouldn’t show too much. Alvin was supposed to be smooth with the ladies, he wasn’t supposed to be nervous. Leaning against the fender, he took a deep breath and waited patiently.
When Jen got Alvin’s text she gathered her things and headed outside to meet him. She smiled at him as she approached his car. “Hi” she said with a smile as she stopped in front of him. She laughed lightly looking from Alvin to the car door then back to Alvin as he just blinked at her for a few moments, “Alvin?”
A little embarrassed at getting lost in his thoughts, Alvin looked over at Jen. “Wow Jen, you look nice tonight.” He smiled as he opened the door for her. After she slid in, he closed the door softly. Getting back in the driver seat, he thought to himself, Way to make yourself look like an idiot, man. Breath. Play it cool.
“Thank you” Jen said as he opened her door for her and she slid into his car. As he walked around she to the drivers side Jen reached up to pull on her seat belt. “So,” she said as he started the car, “where are we going tonight?”
“I was thinking we could go to Texas Roadhouse for dinner and then either walk around the park, go to the movies, or get some dessert. You can choose which you wanted to do first,” Alvin paused for a second before adding, “Or if you don’t want to do any of that, you can tell me what you would like to do. Does that sound alright?”
“It sounds perfect.” Jen said honestly. “But I don’t know if I’ll be able to choose from all those choices. Is there anything that you wanted to do?”
“How about we start with dinner and just go with the flow. Whatever happens,happens?”
Jen nodded slowly.Go with the flow. “Yeah. Sure. We can do that. But, some ice cream or something sweet would be nice.” She smiled over at him brushing her bangs back out of her face, “How was your day?” Friends asked that. She definitely wasn’t saying, ‘hey I want to make out with you later.’
Nodding, he headed to the restaurant. “My day was nice. It was actually pretty relaxed, which is different than what I’m used to. How was yours?” Alvin glanced over to Jen quickly with a smile on his face. She really does look nice tonight. I can’t believe I’m finally going on a date with her.
“Because the season is over?” Jen asked. “Or something else? I guess it’s good either way.” She shifted some in her seat, “I had work today. At the Library. So it was kind of the opposite of yours. But hopefully I’ll have a nice end to a busy day.”
“Coach gave us the day free from weight lifting and I didn’t need to watch my little siblings today. Relaxing all around for me. You work at the library?” He knew she had a job, he just didn’t know where. When Jen nodded he asked, “How long have you worked there? And do you like it?”
“Aww Alvin the babysitter.” Jen teased. “How many little siblings do you have?” She turned some so that she could look at him while he drove, her back resting against the passenger door, “I actually just started working. I really like it. I like to read. When I’m not putting books back or something that’s usually what I do.”
“That seems like a pretty cool job. I bet it’s peaceful,” he said as they pulled into the parking lot. “I have three younger siblings, two sisters and one brother. My sisters’ names are Tiffany and Tasha, they’re twelve year old twins, and my brother, Anthony, is eight. They seem to worship me.” Alvin loved his siblings, but he was glad to have a day without them for a change. “Do you have any siblings?”
“Tiffany, Tasha, and Anthony.” Jen repeated. “I don’t have any siblings. I’ve always wanted one though.” She reached for the handle of her door ready to open it until Alvin objected and got out of the car and rushed around to open her door for her. “Thank you” she smiled to him as she climbed out of the car. Apparently, the ‘just friends’ part of this outing wasn’t working. Awesome.
Setting the alarm on the car, Alvin stuffed his keys in his pocket. He went to reach for Jen’s hand before she stuffed them in the pockets of her jacket. He opened the door to the restaurant and ushered her in, asking the hostess for a table for two. When they were lead to the table, Alvin subtly placed his hand on her lower back.
“So,” Jen said quickly sliding into her seat when she felt Alvin’s hand on her lower back. “Have you been here before?”
“I have been here before. I used to come here all the time with my cousin. It’s really good.” Alvin smiled before continuing, “Have you ever been here? I didn’t want to go to Breadstix... It seemed too cliché and romantic.”
“I haven’t” Jen said looking around, a small smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth, “but the neon lights and potted plants, they’re nice.” She teased. “Real home run. Or maybe I should say touchdown.”
Alvin nervously laughed a little, shaking his head slightly. “I guess you could say that. And in my defense, you did say this date was as friends...”
“True” Jen nodded, “and it is.” She looked around again then reached for her menu. “What should I order?”
Alvin reached for a menu before answering. “You can get whatever you want. Don’t worry about the price, it’s all on me,” he said looking at her over the menu. “Now, I always get either the Smokehouse Burger or the Country Fried Chicken. Matt used to get the Fort Worth Ribeye. What are you in the mood for?”
“We can split it.The bill, we should split it.” Jen said her eyes on the menu, looking up over the top at Alvin then back down. “We should split it.”
“No, really. I’ve got this. It’s not a problem at all. Please?” Alvin reached over to place his hand over hers, frowning slightly when she jerked it back. “Sorry,” he mumbled awkwardly.
“Alvin, you can pay for this but I’m getting our ice cream later. Okay?” Jen said brushing her fingers against the top of his hand before pulling her hand back to turn the page in her menu.
“We’ll see about that,” Alvin said with a wink. He put his menu down as the waitress, Charlotte, came by for their drink orders. After she left Alvin asked, “Do you have an idea of what you want yet?”
Jen set her menu down, “Yeah, I think I’m going to get the grilled pork chops.” She took a sip of the water Charlotte had given them when she first came over. “But seriously though, thanks for taking me here. It means a lot that you picked this restaurant when you used to come with your cousin. I don’t know if I’ve said this before but, I’m sorry.”
“I’ve heard that’s pretty good,” Alvin commented as he reached for his sweet tea. He looked at Jen for a moment before speaking. “It’s fine. Gabe has helped me deal with his death some. Even though he only moved here last year, we’re really close. He know what it’s like to not have Matt around, being related and all. Matt would’ve told me to come here anyway.” Alvin smiled, shrugging slightly. “Enough about that.What do you like to do when you aren’t playing soccer or at the library?”
“Well, I’m actually not on the soccer team anymore.” Jen shrugged at the look Alvin gave her. “So I don’t really do that much. I’d kick around a ball, maybe, something like that. But nothing too serious. I’m thinking about talking to the track coach though.”
Before Alvin could reply, Charlotte came by to take their orders. He gave her both his and Jen’s orders before handing back the menus. When she left, he turned back to Jen and gave her a small smile. “Why aren’t you on the team anymore? And what did the coach say when you quit?” he asked, genuinely curious. Last he knew, her and Puck were some of the star players. “If I wasn’t in football, I’d probably be on the track team.”
Jen let out a relieved breath as Alvin spoke. He was the first person to just ask her why she quit instead of yelling or being angry with her about the decision. She could understand why the girls from the team were upset but she had expected some understanding. “Well, it just....stopped being fun. I’ve been playing for so long. First with my dad and then friends and then it just became something that I did because people thought I was going to do it. It’s not that I don’t like to play, sometimes, with...” She smiled sheepishly at her inability to explain. “Coach wasn’t happy. I know what I did wasn’t the nicest but it’s not like I quit in the middle of the season.”
Alvin nodded his head in understanding as she spoke. He had heard some of his football buddies talking about wanting to quit for the same reasons, but he didn’t think that would be possible for him. Football was his whole life and he truly believed that he was going to go pro some day. “I think Coach was only mad because you were good and it’s hard to find talent like yours. Since you aren’t enjoying it, I think it’s smart that you quit.” Alvin shrugged nonchalantly as he spoke. “You should find something you really enjoy because if you don’t, you might not be able to enjoy your job in the future... Or that’s what I’m told.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to do.” She smiled as she added, “And I’m still good, I’m just not on the team.”
“Yeah...” He trailed off when he saw Charlotte coming back with their orders. “Ohh, The food is coming, it looks really good.”
Jen looked over her shoulder, following Alvin’s gaze to Charlotte. She leaned back some as Charlotte set their plates in front of them, nodding her thanks to her before she walked away. “You’re right,” Jen said with a smile as she reached for her utensils, “it looks great.”
"That it does," Alvin agreed, licking his lips. After taking a few bites in comfortable silence, Alvin decided to continue the conversation. "How was your week without sectionals keeping you busy?"
“It’s different, a lot of things are different for me right now. But, I like it. Well, I like some of it.” Jen smiled, “But this is different,” she looked around the restaurant, “and I like this.”
Alvin blushed slightly before reaching for his drink. “I’m glad you like it. I wasn’t sure if you would.”
**
“I think I’m just going to get vanilla.” Jen’s eyes scanned the pints of ice cream in the grocery store freezer. After they’d finished eating Alvin had paid and they’d gotten back in his car. Instead of one cone Jen had suggested going to the store to get a whole pint. She’d felt bad about letting him pay for her and hoped that Alvin would let her pay for both of their pints. “Or maybe not, what’re you getting?”
Alvin looked over the multiple ice cream options before opening the freezer door. “I think I’m gonna have to go with... banana pudding. I usually get vanilla or rocky road, but tonight I want something different,” Alvin answered with a wink. “If you can’t decide, you can always get more than one. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Banana pudding?” Jen looked over at him, “That sounds awful.” She laughed lightly shaking her head but reached for moose tracks instead of vanilla. She grabbed a pint of banana pudding as well and tugged Alvin to the cashier, paying for both of them before he could protest and they headed back out to his car. “We can eat on my front steps.”
“Hey! Don’t dis the ice cream. It wants to be liked just as much as your moose tracks.” He grinned before getting pulled towards the cashier. “You know, I wouldn’t have minded paying for the ice cream. It was me who asked you on this date, not the other way around,” he muttered under his breath as he got in the car. “Off to your house we go!”
Once they arrived at Jen’s house she got out of the car and passed Alvin’s pint to him. “Let me get us some spoons.” She headed inside, running upstairs and dropping her purse on her bed, and grabbed two spoons for them on the way back out. “We could sit on the chairs but this is cooler.” Jen said with a smile handing Alvin his spoon. She pulled her coat tighter around herself and sat down next to him, popping open her own pint.
“If somebody were to drive by and see us sitting here in forty-eight degree weather and eating ice cream, they would think we were crazy,” Alvin said, nudging her shoulder slightly as he opened his pint. He subtly scooted a little closer to Jen. “Do you wanna try a bite? I promise it’s not as gross as you think it is.”
“Well, I think it’s...” Cute, romantic. You are really failing at sending this guy the right messages. Super fail. “Yeah let me try.” Jen scooped some ice cream out of Alvin’s pint. “Oh, I was right.” She shook her head as she laughed, “it’s awful.”
“It’s what? And, it’s not awful!” Alvin replied, half heartedly. “It’s a clear night tonight, even though it’s cold out. I like when you can see the stars.” He stretched his legs out, crossing them at the ankle, before looking at Jen. After looking at her for a few moments he said, “You look beautiful under the night sky.”
Jen looked down at the ice cream container in her hand and nervously poked at it’s contents, digging around for the chocolate and peanut butter pieces. Alvin was a great guy. She could recognize that. He was perfect boyfriend material and tonight had been great. But her breath didn’t catch when she looked at him. She didn’t get the warm happy feeling that started in her chest and spread everywhere. It wasn’t anything like it had been with - well, it didn’t matter how it had been. That didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was that Jen knew she would never get that feeling from him or any other guy. She looked back up at Alvin, ready to make some remark that would break the silence that had come between them, and froze. Oh fuck, he’s going to kiss me.
As he lost himself in her eyes, he placed his half-eaten pint behind him on the porch. Remembering the advice that he saw in Hitch, he leaned in the ninety percent to kiss Jen gently on the lips. Please lean in the other ten. Don’t make me look idiotic...
Jen’s grip tightened on the pint in her hand as she watched Alvin lean towards her. It would be so easy to let Alvin kiss her. So easy to go back. But Jen was trying, trying really hard to move forward. “I’m gay.” She whispered. Forward. Maybe too forward. She hadn’t really meant to say that. But when she’d opened her mouth to tell him to stop those two words came out instead. Jen took in a shaky breath and waited for Alvin’s reaction.
Alvin’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened in surprise before regaining control of his features and sitting up straight. “Wait, what? Did you just say you were gay?” He questioned. When he saw her face fall, he realized how his question sounded. “I’m sorry, Jen. I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, why didn’t you tell me before? Like, when I asked you out or something? I’m not mad or anything, I just...” Alvin trailed off, not being able to get his thoughts in order.
“I tried to say no” Jen said, “I didn’t mean...to...I’m sorry.”
As she spoke, Alvin thought to himself She tried saying no? No she did- oh shit. She did try saying no. “No, don’t apologize. I shouldn’t have been a douche and pestered you until you said yes.” After a couple seconds a few thoughts later he asked the main question that was on his mind. “Wait, what about Tyler? Weren’t you guys together for, like, three years?”
Jen frowned at Alvin’s question. “He didn’t...make me gay if that’s...what you’re saying.”
“That’s not what I’m saying... I was just trying to understand, I guess. How long have you known and does anybody else know?”
Jen relaxed slowly some of the tension she’d felt since Alvin’s initial reaction leaving her.“Thanks for not...freaking out. But,um, I’ve known for awhile and, yes.”
Nodding his head, Alvin turned a little and picked his slightly melted ice cream pint back up. “Do I need to not tell anybody or anything? I’m fine with keeping it a secret if not a lot of people know. How many people do know?”
“Could you please keep it between us.” Jen said quickly. “Just...not a lot of people know,” like no one “so...could you please keep it between us.”
“No problem. Thanks for letting me know, though. I would’ve gone home and thought it was something I did,” Alvin joked, hoping to lighten the mood.
Jen smiled. “No, tonight was great. I don’t know if it means anything. But, tonight was a lot of fun.”
“I’m glad you had fun tonight. Maybe next time we could hang out as friends and check out the ladies,” Alvin said with a a wink.
When: Friday, January 21, 2019
Where: Texas Roadhouse and Jen's house
What: A not date
Jen sat on her bed eyes glued to the time on her cellphone. She’d finished getting ready a few minutes ago and now she was just waiting for Alvin to come pick her up. 6:40. 6:41. Alvin was supposed to come at 7:00. 7:00 was early for a date, right? So what that is was a Friday night and Alvin was coming to pick her up and the word ‘date’ had in fact been mentioned when planning this thing. Jen fell back onto her bed holding her phone up above her as she slowly typed out a message to Alvin. Hey, when you get here just text me and I’ll come out. She sent the message and then pulled a pillow over her face. Maybe if she closed her eyes she’d wake up and this not date would be over.
Alvin looked in the mirror before grabbing his keys and heading out to the car. As he buckled up, he heard his phone go off. After reading the message he replied. Hey Jen! I’m about to leave my house now. I should be there in about 5 minutes. :D He hoped his message didn’t come off as too eager, he was just excited to be finally going on a date with her. Jen was really pretty and he had liked her for a while now.
Jen felt her phone vibrate on the bed beside her and she blindly slid her hand out to her side searching for it. Pulling the pillow from her face she warily read Alvin’s message. She’d just come out of a three year relationship. It had ended horribly and was never really an honest relationship to begin with but to keep things as drama free as possible she should’ve found some way to say no to him. But Alvin was a great guy and he’d been so sweet when he asked. She liked him she just didn’t like him. Great. :) I’ll see you then. This was going to be an interesting night.
Pulling up to her house, he texted Jen back. I’m here. Alvin hadn’t really give Jen ‘No’ as an option for this date and he wanted to make sure she didn’t feel too pressured or awkward. Getting out of the car, he walked around to the passenger side to wait for her to come out. My mom always taught me to be a gentleman. Opening the car door is gentleman-like, right? His nerves were starting to get to him and he was hoping it wouldn’t show too much. Alvin was supposed to be smooth with the ladies, he wasn’t supposed to be nervous. Leaning against the fender, he took a deep breath and waited patiently.
When Jen got Alvin’s text she gathered her things and headed outside to meet him. She smiled at him as she approached his car. “Hi” she said with a smile as she stopped in front of him. She laughed lightly looking from Alvin to the car door then back to Alvin as he just blinked at her for a few moments, “Alvin?”
A little embarrassed at getting lost in his thoughts, Alvin looked over at Jen. “Wow Jen, you look nice tonight.” He smiled as he opened the door for her. After she slid in, he closed the door softly. Getting back in the driver seat, he thought to himself, Way to make yourself look like an idiot, man. Breath. Play it cool.
“Thank you” Jen said as he opened her door for her and she slid into his car. As he walked around she to the drivers side Jen reached up to pull on her seat belt. “So,” she said as he started the car, “where are we going tonight?”
“I was thinking we could go to Texas Roadhouse for dinner and then either walk around the park, go to the movies, or get some dessert. You can choose which you wanted to do first,” Alvin paused for a second before adding, “Or if you don’t want to do any of that, you can tell me what you would like to do. Does that sound alright?”
“It sounds perfect.” Jen said honestly. “But I don’t know if I’ll be able to choose from all those choices. Is there anything that you wanted to do?”
“How about we start with dinner and just go with the flow. Whatever happens,happens?”
Jen nodded slowly.Go with the flow. “Yeah. Sure. We can do that. But, some ice cream or something sweet would be nice.” She smiled over at him brushing her bangs back out of her face, “How was your day?” Friends asked that. She definitely wasn’t saying, ‘hey I want to make out with you later.’
Nodding, he headed to the restaurant. “My day was nice. It was actually pretty relaxed, which is different than what I’m used to. How was yours?” Alvin glanced over to Jen quickly with a smile on his face. She really does look nice tonight. I can’t believe I’m finally going on a date with her.
“Because the season is over?” Jen asked. “Or something else? I guess it’s good either way.” She shifted some in her seat, “I had work today. At the Library. So it was kind of the opposite of yours. But hopefully I’ll have a nice end to a busy day.”
“Coach gave us the day free from weight lifting and I didn’t need to watch my little siblings today. Relaxing all around for me. You work at the library?” He knew she had a job, he just didn’t know where. When Jen nodded he asked, “How long have you worked there? And do you like it?”
“Aww Alvin the babysitter.” Jen teased. “How many little siblings do you have?” She turned some so that she could look at him while he drove, her back resting against the passenger door, “I actually just started working. I really like it. I like to read. When I’m not putting books back or something that’s usually what I do.”
“That seems like a pretty cool job. I bet it’s peaceful,” he said as they pulled into the parking lot. “I have three younger siblings, two sisters and one brother. My sisters’ names are Tiffany and Tasha, they’re twelve year old twins, and my brother, Anthony, is eight. They seem to worship me.” Alvin loved his siblings, but he was glad to have a day without them for a change. “Do you have any siblings?”
“Tiffany, Tasha, and Anthony.” Jen repeated. “I don’t have any siblings. I’ve always wanted one though.” She reached for the handle of her door ready to open it until Alvin objected and got out of the car and rushed around to open her door for her. “Thank you” she smiled to him as she climbed out of the car. Apparently, the ‘just friends’ part of this outing wasn’t working. Awesome.
Setting the alarm on the car, Alvin stuffed his keys in his pocket. He went to reach for Jen’s hand before she stuffed them in the pockets of her jacket. He opened the door to the restaurant and ushered her in, asking the hostess for a table for two. When they were lead to the table, Alvin subtly placed his hand on her lower back.
“So,” Jen said quickly sliding into her seat when she felt Alvin’s hand on her lower back. “Have you been here before?”
“I have been here before. I used to come here all the time with my cousin. It’s really good.” Alvin smiled before continuing, “Have you ever been here? I didn’t want to go to Breadstix... It seemed too cliché and romantic.”
“I haven’t” Jen said looking around, a small smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth, “but the neon lights and potted plants, they’re nice.” She teased. “Real home run. Or maybe I should say touchdown.”
Alvin nervously laughed a little, shaking his head slightly. “I guess you could say that. And in my defense, you did say this date was as friends...”
“True” Jen nodded, “and it is.” She looked around again then reached for her menu. “What should I order?”
Alvin reached for a menu before answering. “You can get whatever you want. Don’t worry about the price, it’s all on me,” he said looking at her over the menu. “Now, I always get either the Smokehouse Burger or the Country Fried Chicken. Matt used to get the Fort Worth Ribeye. What are you in the mood for?”
“We can split it.The bill, we should split it.” Jen said her eyes on the menu, looking up over the top at Alvin then back down. “We should split it.”
“No, really. I’ve got this. It’s not a problem at all. Please?” Alvin reached over to place his hand over hers, frowning slightly when she jerked it back. “Sorry,” he mumbled awkwardly.
“Alvin, you can pay for this but I’m getting our ice cream later. Okay?” Jen said brushing her fingers against the top of his hand before pulling her hand back to turn the page in her menu.
“We’ll see about that,” Alvin said with a wink. He put his menu down as the waitress, Charlotte, came by for their drink orders. After she left Alvin asked, “Do you have an idea of what you want yet?”
Jen set her menu down, “Yeah, I think I’m going to get the grilled pork chops.” She took a sip of the water Charlotte had given them when she first came over. “But seriously though, thanks for taking me here. It means a lot that you picked this restaurant when you used to come with your cousin. I don’t know if I’ve said this before but, I’m sorry.”
“I’ve heard that’s pretty good,” Alvin commented as he reached for his sweet tea. He looked at Jen for a moment before speaking. “It’s fine. Gabe has helped me deal with his death some. Even though he only moved here last year, we’re really close. He know what it’s like to not have Matt around, being related and all. Matt would’ve told me to come here anyway.” Alvin smiled, shrugging slightly. “Enough about that.What do you like to do when you aren’t playing soccer or at the library?”
“Well, I’m actually not on the soccer team anymore.” Jen shrugged at the look Alvin gave her. “So I don’t really do that much. I’d kick around a ball, maybe, something like that. But nothing too serious. I’m thinking about talking to the track coach though.”
Before Alvin could reply, Charlotte came by to take their orders. He gave her both his and Jen’s orders before handing back the menus. When she left, he turned back to Jen and gave her a small smile. “Why aren’t you on the team anymore? And what did the coach say when you quit?” he asked, genuinely curious. Last he knew, her and Puck were some of the star players. “If I wasn’t in football, I’d probably be on the track team.”
Jen let out a relieved breath as Alvin spoke. He was the first person to just ask her why she quit instead of yelling or being angry with her about the decision. She could understand why the girls from the team were upset but she had expected some understanding. “Well, it just....stopped being fun. I’ve been playing for so long. First with my dad and then friends and then it just became something that I did because people thought I was going to do it. It’s not that I don’t like to play, sometimes, with...” She smiled sheepishly at her inability to explain. “Coach wasn’t happy. I know what I did wasn’t the nicest but it’s not like I quit in the middle of the season.”
Alvin nodded his head in understanding as she spoke. He had heard some of his football buddies talking about wanting to quit for the same reasons, but he didn’t think that would be possible for him. Football was his whole life and he truly believed that he was going to go pro some day. “I think Coach was only mad because you were good and it’s hard to find talent like yours. Since you aren’t enjoying it, I think it’s smart that you quit.” Alvin shrugged nonchalantly as he spoke. “You should find something you really enjoy because if you don’t, you might not be able to enjoy your job in the future... Or that’s what I’m told.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to do.” She smiled as she added, “And I’m still good, I’m just not on the team.”
“Yeah...” He trailed off when he saw Charlotte coming back with their orders. “Ohh, The food is coming, it looks really good.”
Jen looked over her shoulder, following Alvin’s gaze to Charlotte. She leaned back some as Charlotte set their plates in front of them, nodding her thanks to her before she walked away. “You’re right,” Jen said with a smile as she reached for her utensils, “it looks great.”
"That it does," Alvin agreed, licking his lips. After taking a few bites in comfortable silence, Alvin decided to continue the conversation. "How was your week without sectionals keeping you busy?"
“It’s different, a lot of things are different for me right now. But, I like it. Well, I like some of it.” Jen smiled, “But this is different,” she looked around the restaurant, “and I like this.”
Alvin blushed slightly before reaching for his drink. “I’m glad you like it. I wasn’t sure if you would.”
**
“I think I’m just going to get vanilla.” Jen’s eyes scanned the pints of ice cream in the grocery store freezer. After they’d finished eating Alvin had paid and they’d gotten back in his car. Instead of one cone Jen had suggested going to the store to get a whole pint. She’d felt bad about letting him pay for her and hoped that Alvin would let her pay for both of their pints. “Or maybe not, what’re you getting?”
Alvin looked over the multiple ice cream options before opening the freezer door. “I think I’m gonna have to go with... banana pudding. I usually get vanilla or rocky road, but tonight I want something different,” Alvin answered with a wink. “If you can’t decide, you can always get more than one. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Banana pudding?” Jen looked over at him, “That sounds awful.” She laughed lightly shaking her head but reached for moose tracks instead of vanilla. She grabbed a pint of banana pudding as well and tugged Alvin to the cashier, paying for both of them before he could protest and they headed back out to his car. “We can eat on my front steps.”
“Hey! Don’t dis the ice cream. It wants to be liked just as much as your moose tracks.” He grinned before getting pulled towards the cashier. “You know, I wouldn’t have minded paying for the ice cream. It was me who asked you on this date, not the other way around,” he muttered under his breath as he got in the car. “Off to your house we go!”
Once they arrived at Jen’s house she got out of the car and passed Alvin’s pint to him. “Let me get us some spoons.” She headed inside, running upstairs and dropping her purse on her bed, and grabbed two spoons for them on the way back out. “We could sit on the chairs but this is cooler.” Jen said with a smile handing Alvin his spoon. She pulled her coat tighter around herself and sat down next to him, popping open her own pint.
“If somebody were to drive by and see us sitting here in forty-eight degree weather and eating ice cream, they would think we were crazy,” Alvin said, nudging her shoulder slightly as he opened his pint. He subtly scooted a little closer to Jen. “Do you wanna try a bite? I promise it’s not as gross as you think it is.”
“Well, I think it’s...” Cute, romantic. You are really failing at sending this guy the right messages. Super fail. “Yeah let me try.” Jen scooped some ice cream out of Alvin’s pint. “Oh, I was right.” She shook her head as she laughed, “it’s awful.”
“It’s what? And, it’s not awful!” Alvin replied, half heartedly. “It’s a clear night tonight, even though it’s cold out. I like when you can see the stars.” He stretched his legs out, crossing them at the ankle, before looking at Jen. After looking at her for a few moments he said, “You look beautiful under the night sky.”
Jen looked down at the ice cream container in her hand and nervously poked at it’s contents, digging around for the chocolate and peanut butter pieces. Alvin was a great guy. She could recognize that. He was perfect boyfriend material and tonight had been great. But her breath didn’t catch when she looked at him. She didn’t get the warm happy feeling that started in her chest and spread everywhere. It wasn’t anything like it had been with - well, it didn’t matter how it had been. That didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was that Jen knew she would never get that feeling from him or any other guy. She looked back up at Alvin, ready to make some remark that would break the silence that had come between them, and froze. Oh fuck, he’s going to kiss me.
As he lost himself in her eyes, he placed his half-eaten pint behind him on the porch. Remembering the advice that he saw in Hitch, he leaned in the ninety percent to kiss Jen gently on the lips. Please lean in the other ten. Don’t make me look idiotic...
Jen’s grip tightened on the pint in her hand as she watched Alvin lean towards her. It would be so easy to let Alvin kiss her. So easy to go back. But Jen was trying, trying really hard to move forward. “I’m gay.” She whispered. Forward. Maybe too forward. She hadn’t really meant to say that. But when she’d opened her mouth to tell him to stop those two words came out instead. Jen took in a shaky breath and waited for Alvin’s reaction.
Alvin’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened in surprise before regaining control of his features and sitting up straight. “Wait, what? Did you just say you were gay?” He questioned. When he saw her face fall, he realized how his question sounded. “I’m sorry, Jen. I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, why didn’t you tell me before? Like, when I asked you out or something? I’m not mad or anything, I just...” Alvin trailed off, not being able to get his thoughts in order.
“I tried to say no” Jen said, “I didn’t mean...to...I’m sorry.”
As she spoke, Alvin thought to himself She tried saying no? No she did- oh shit. She did try saying no. “No, don’t apologize. I shouldn’t have been a douche and pestered you until you said yes.” After a couple seconds a few thoughts later he asked the main question that was on his mind. “Wait, what about Tyler? Weren’t you guys together for, like, three years?”
Jen frowned at Alvin’s question. “He didn’t...make me gay if that’s...what you’re saying.”
“That’s not what I’m saying... I was just trying to understand, I guess. How long have you known and does anybody else know?”
Jen relaxed slowly some of the tension she’d felt since Alvin’s initial reaction leaving her.“Thanks for not...freaking out. But,um, I’ve known for awhile and, yes.”
Nodding his head, Alvin turned a little and picked his slightly melted ice cream pint back up. “Do I need to not tell anybody or anything? I’m fine with keeping it a secret if not a lot of people know. How many people do know?”
“Could you please keep it between us.” Jen said quickly. “Just...not a lot of people know,” like no one “so...could you please keep it between us.”
“No problem. Thanks for letting me know, though. I would’ve gone home and thought it was something I did,” Alvin joked, hoping to lighten the mood.
Jen smiled. “No, tonight was great. I don’t know if it means anything. But, tonight was a lot of fun.”
“I’m glad you had fun tonight. Maybe next time we could hang out as friends and check out the ladies,” Alvin said with a a wink.