Flashback: Alone We Stand, Together We Fall Apart
Who: Artie and Tina
When: Thanksgiving Break 2012
Where: Phone and the Abrams' residence
What: It's not you, it's me. (But really, it's you.)
Artie was excited to see his girlfriend for the first time since she went off to Columbus for college. It was Black Friday, and he hadn’t done any shopping, instead played xBox with his brother and goofed around all day. He had been waiting all week to talk to Tina. Things had been rough with the distance, and although he was accepted at Ohio State, he couldn’t turn down Northwestern. It was the program that he needed, and it was almost an ivy league. How could he say no?
Artie dialed the very familiar number and waited for her to answer. If his legs worked, they would be shaking in anxiety.
Tina was sitting on a couch in the living room of Mike’s parents’ house. After splitting a pumpkin pie and fighting over the remote, Mike and Tina had settled on watching whatever movie was on HBO that evening. Well, they were until he dosed off beside her.
Her phone began vibrating on the cushion next to her and she peered over it, catching a glimpse of Artie’s name. She knew he had arrived in Lima the other night, and they still hadn’t seen each other. She slid her phone open and raised it against her ear.
“Hey, you.”
“Hey Tina, what are you up to?” He asked, hopeful that it was something she could get away from. Artie didn’t think that he could last another night without seeing her. Sure it wasn’t as easy as it used to be in high school, but he was optimistic that once they were together it would be better. He didn’t want to think about if it wasn’t.
“I’m just at Mike’s house watching a movie. He passed out awhile ago, though, so I’m basically just sitting here eating pie.” She watched some loud explosion happen onscreen. She wasn’t all that sure what was happening, but people were screaming and guns were being fired. Mike stayed asleep. “What about you?”
“Spent the day playing xBox with Jon after the cousins left this morning. I forgot how awful the twins were...” Artie muttered. He was talking about his two cousins, now eight years old. One boy and one girl, they created more chaos then an army. When they weren’t fighting each other they were whining to their parents or making Artie’s holiday miserable. Their new game this year involved trying to fling their mashed potatoes with their spoon to hit Artie in the face. Sadly they were successfully more than Artie thought they would be. The adults had no idea what was happening.
“Oh, those twins.” Tina’s expression wrinkled in sympathy. The last time she had seen his cousins they had taken turns yanking on her highlights. She shifted a little in her seat, knowing she’d much rather be having a conversation with him in person. “Are you free right now? I still haven’t seen you...”
“Yes, completely free. That’s why I called in the first place. I wanted you to come over. Can you?” Artie hoped that she had drove, since he knew a sleeping Mike wasn’t easily woken.
Tina smiled. “Of course. I’ll be right over.” Her parents were off with Mike’s at some party and had left them free to roam. Having her car with her helped. She decided to text her whereabouts for Mike to see when he woke up.
In record time, Tina found herself parking her car along the curb of Artie’s street before rushing through the snow that had began to fall to get to his front door. Standing there shivering slightly, she rang the doorbell.
Artie wheeled himself to the door, yelling, “I’ll get it!” to his parents. He opened the door to see that it was snowing and that Tina looked beautiful. “You look great.” A wide smile spread across his face when he saw her. It had been too long, and he wondered how they had made it work.
Grinning, Tina quickly leaned down and captured his lips in a lingering kiss. She pulled back after a moment, gripping the armrests of his chair to keep herself steady. “You don’t look too bad yourself.” She smirked lightly before kissing him again. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” He said quietly as the kiss ended. “Come in, come in.”
Artie moved away from the door to allow Tina to enter. He rolled himself through the family room. “My room?” he asked. His parents were in the dining room playing cards and Jon was still playing video games in the family room.
“Sure. I’m just going to say hi to your folks real quick.”
After exchanging warm greetings with his family, she followed Artie to his room.
Once he actually got to see Tina, he was at a loss of what to say, what to do. Sure they had talked on the phone almost every day, skyped and texted, but it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t prepared to know what to do when she was physically there in front of him. It was awkward for him, and he had a feeling that he wasn’t alone in that.
“How was Thanksgiving?” he asked.
Tina noticed how he clasped his hands in his lap, a sign that he was uneasy. Which just made her uneasy in return. “Oh, it was fine. Had a combined dinner with Mike’s family. The usual.” Why did things feel so tense between them?
Artie started running his hands down his legs, a nervous tick he developed years ago. He couldn’t figure out why things were so weird between them, it’s not like they haven’t been together for years. “Why is this so awkward?” he finally asked.
Tina shook her head, letting an breathy laugh escape her as she took a seat at the foot of his bed, facing him. She looked at him with a bemused half-smile on her face. “I have no idea. Maybe it’s just been too long?”
Although they stayed in contact as much as they could, she knew they still missed out on pieces of each other’s lives. Maybe they were just overwhelmed on where to start? It was weird, though. They’d known each other for so long. Shouldn’t this be easy?
Determined to remain positive that they were just growing up and not apart, she shook it off. “So, have you picked out your classes for spring yet? OSU registration is in a couple weeks. I think I’m going to sign up for another art history class. I’m taking one right now just for GE, but I really like it. I think I told you about it...”
“Yeah I think you did,” he replied. He had done his registration the week before and knew his course load, but decided to remain on the topic of Art History. “Another Art History class? Is it a possible major?”
Since Artie had gone to school knowing that he was going to be a biology major, he lived vicariously through his undecided friends as they took classes just to see what they were like. He had been on the fast track, biology majors really had no room for exploring other subjects. Hearing about Tina’s Art History class was always fun for him, since he thought it would be interesting but would never get to take it.
“Maybe. I mean I really like it, but you know my parents would rather I channel my energy into med school like Mike’s brother. We’ll see.” Tina shrugged. She knew when it came down to it, as long as she finished school and found a job, her parents wouldn’t mind. She’d figure it out soon enough. “Anyways. We just finished our unit on Roman mythology. It was my favorite so far.”
“Really? That sounds awesome. Much more interesting than the classes that I am taking...” Artie started to mumble towards the end of the sentence. He was glad to see Tina, but he knew that something just wasn’t right. They weren’t the same, they were acting like they did long ago, before they were dating. He just wondered who was going to say the words first....
Tina frowned as she observed Artie’s expression. She could tell something was off between them, like she was making small talk with a stranger, but she didn’t want to be the one to say it. “What’s wrong?”
“Okay, we both know this is way too weird.” Artie just put it out there on the table. He generally was one to avoid conflicts, but he couldn’t handle the awkward silences any longer. “Something’s wrong between us and we both know it.”
Tina looked at the floor. She was hoping he wouldn’t say that. She was well aware of the weirdness, but she was hoping it was just a rough patch or something. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t either. Tina, you know how I feel about you, but something’s missing and we both know that.” Artie couldn’t actually say the words. He couldn’t say them because that would mean that this was real, that this wasn’t one of their rough patches. This was going to be forever, and he wasn’t ready to let her go just yet. Part of him needed her to say the words, to be the one to end things. At least then he could suffer the broken heart of someone being dumped.
She picked her gaze up from the floor and blinked at him for a moment. A sick, hollow feeling crept into her chest and it took her a moment to find her voice. “Artie, are you saying...” Her tone was soft and slow, trying to find a way to not say this. “I mean, things aren’t that bad, are they?” She stared at her boyfriend with sad eyes, her arms crossed around herself protectively.
“I don’t know anymore Tina. It just seems like the distance is worse than we thought. I thought it was all good, but now I see that we aren’t the same. NOT that you’ve changed or anything... but it’s like we’re friends. Just friends.” Artie wasn’t exactly sure how to word what he was feeling, but he tried his best and hoped that Tina would understand. This was turning out to be one of the hardest conversations of his life.
“But I’m in love with you. Like I’ve always been,” Tina said quietly, trying to get a grasp on the situation. Was this really happening?
“I love you, too. Please don’t make me out to be the bad guy right now,” Artie said with a sigh. It hit him that he was going to have to man up and do the right thing, even if it hurt both of them to do it.
Tina felt her eyes narrow defensively. “I wasn’t trying to. I was just saying how I felt, so if you feel like the bad guy that’s on you, not me,” she muttered, her arms tightening around her as she averted her gaze. She could practically feel her emotional walls boarding up as she glared out the window at the falling snow. It was all she could do to try to keep the sting of frustrated tears at bay.
“Don’t close me out now.” Artie hated how Tina always retreated when things got bad. He didn’t like conflict, but once it started he wanted to get through all of it. Tina was the opposite, at least that's what he thought. She would get into the fight then shut down, and it drove Artie nuts. “Tina, you can’t close me out every time things get hard. That’s why this isn’t working...”
That only seemed to make it worse.
“You’re serious,” she commented, her tone so indignant it sounded amazed. Tina felt like she was always the one to initiate things, to open up, to be the first to fight for them, and even then he found a way to play the blame game and push her away first. Her jaw set and her voice shifted to that dangerous kind of low that only a few people witnessed. Mainly Mike when he made her angry.
“Oh, so I tell you how I feel, how I still want to be with you, and somehow I’m the reason this isn’t working? There’s two people in this relationship, you know. I swear it’s like you’re so stuck on being seen as the good guy, that you blame other people and don’t take responsibility for your own shit, Artie. How the hell is that fair? What’s the point of opening up to you when all you do is push me into a corner no matter what?”
Tina dragged a frustrated hand through her hair. She stood and went to the window, trying to will herself to calm down. She refused to cry. As much as she tried to avoid it, tried to remind herself she loved him, the truth was this wasn’t exactly what you would call working.
“Maybe you’re right,” she murmured, after a moment. She turned back to face him, her voice defeated. She closed her eyes for a second in disbelief that she was actually saying this. But she knew he wouldn’t be the one to say it first. He’d want her to so he’d be the one entitled to nursing a broken heart. And she was too tired to do otherwise.
“Maybe it’s best if we just...” She paused and simply looked at him, wondering how could she be with someone who wouldn’t fight for them as she did. They were hundreds of miles apart even when they were together. Was it even worth it anymore?
“...let each other go.”
“That seems like the best thing. I’m sorry it ended like this, Tina. Please don’t let this ruin our friendship. We were friends before, can’t we be friends after?” Artie knew as he was saying it that it wasn’t going to be true. Things weren’t going to end that well, he should have seen it coming. “Maybe you should go...”
“Yeah,” she said quietly, but she knew things wouldn’t be the same at all. “Yeah, I’ll just...” She got to the door and turned around, sparing him one last glance. “Bye, Artie.”
It wasn’t until Tina was out the front door and in her car down the street that she really let herself break down.
When: Thanksgiving Break 2012
Where: Phone and the Abrams' residence
What: It's not you, it's me. (But really, it's you.)
Artie was excited to see his girlfriend for the first time since she went off to Columbus for college. It was Black Friday, and he hadn’t done any shopping, instead played xBox with his brother and goofed around all day. He had been waiting all week to talk to Tina. Things had been rough with the distance, and although he was accepted at Ohio State, he couldn’t turn down Northwestern. It was the program that he needed, and it was almost an ivy league. How could he say no?
Artie dialed the very familiar number and waited for her to answer. If his legs worked, they would be shaking in anxiety.
Tina was sitting on a couch in the living room of Mike’s parents’ house. After splitting a pumpkin pie and fighting over the remote, Mike and Tina had settled on watching whatever movie was on HBO that evening. Well, they were until he dosed off beside her.
Her phone began vibrating on the cushion next to her and she peered over it, catching a glimpse of Artie’s name. She knew he had arrived in Lima the other night, and they still hadn’t seen each other. She slid her phone open and raised it against her ear.
“Hey, you.”
“Hey Tina, what are you up to?” He asked, hopeful that it was something she could get away from. Artie didn’t think that he could last another night without seeing her. Sure it wasn’t as easy as it used to be in high school, but he was optimistic that once they were together it would be better. He didn’t want to think about if it wasn’t.
“I’m just at Mike’s house watching a movie. He passed out awhile ago, though, so I’m basically just sitting here eating pie.” She watched some loud explosion happen onscreen. She wasn’t all that sure what was happening, but people were screaming and guns were being fired. Mike stayed asleep. “What about you?”
“Spent the day playing xBox with Jon after the cousins left this morning. I forgot how awful the twins were...” Artie muttered. He was talking about his two cousins, now eight years old. One boy and one girl, they created more chaos then an army. When they weren’t fighting each other they were whining to their parents or making Artie’s holiday miserable. Their new game this year involved trying to fling their mashed potatoes with their spoon to hit Artie in the face. Sadly they were successfully more than Artie thought they would be. The adults had no idea what was happening.
“Oh, those twins.” Tina’s expression wrinkled in sympathy. The last time she had seen his cousins they had taken turns yanking on her highlights. She shifted a little in her seat, knowing she’d much rather be having a conversation with him in person. “Are you free right now? I still haven’t seen you...”
“Yes, completely free. That’s why I called in the first place. I wanted you to come over. Can you?” Artie hoped that she had drove, since he knew a sleeping Mike wasn’t easily woken.
Tina smiled. “Of course. I’ll be right over.” Her parents were off with Mike’s at some party and had left them free to roam. Having her car with her helped. She decided to text her whereabouts for Mike to see when he woke up.
In record time, Tina found herself parking her car along the curb of Artie’s street before rushing through the snow that had began to fall to get to his front door. Standing there shivering slightly, she rang the doorbell.
Artie wheeled himself to the door, yelling, “I’ll get it!” to his parents. He opened the door to see that it was snowing and that Tina looked beautiful. “You look great.” A wide smile spread across his face when he saw her. It had been too long, and he wondered how they had made it work.
Grinning, Tina quickly leaned down and captured his lips in a lingering kiss. She pulled back after a moment, gripping the armrests of his chair to keep herself steady. “You don’t look too bad yourself.” She smirked lightly before kissing him again. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” He said quietly as the kiss ended. “Come in, come in.”
Artie moved away from the door to allow Tina to enter. He rolled himself through the family room. “My room?” he asked. His parents were in the dining room playing cards and Jon was still playing video games in the family room.
“Sure. I’m just going to say hi to your folks real quick.”
After exchanging warm greetings with his family, she followed Artie to his room.
Once he actually got to see Tina, he was at a loss of what to say, what to do. Sure they had talked on the phone almost every day, skyped and texted, but it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t prepared to know what to do when she was physically there in front of him. It was awkward for him, and he had a feeling that he wasn’t alone in that.
“How was Thanksgiving?” he asked.
Tina noticed how he clasped his hands in his lap, a sign that he was uneasy. Which just made her uneasy in return. “Oh, it was fine. Had a combined dinner with Mike’s family. The usual.” Why did things feel so tense between them?
Artie started running his hands down his legs, a nervous tick he developed years ago. He couldn’t figure out why things were so weird between them, it’s not like they haven’t been together for years. “Why is this so awkward?” he finally asked.
Tina shook her head, letting an breathy laugh escape her as she took a seat at the foot of his bed, facing him. She looked at him with a bemused half-smile on her face. “I have no idea. Maybe it’s just been too long?”
Although they stayed in contact as much as they could, she knew they still missed out on pieces of each other’s lives. Maybe they were just overwhelmed on where to start? It was weird, though. They’d known each other for so long. Shouldn’t this be easy?
Determined to remain positive that they were just growing up and not apart, she shook it off. “So, have you picked out your classes for spring yet? OSU registration is in a couple weeks. I think I’m going to sign up for another art history class. I’m taking one right now just for GE, but I really like it. I think I told you about it...”
“Yeah I think you did,” he replied. He had done his registration the week before and knew his course load, but decided to remain on the topic of Art History. “Another Art History class? Is it a possible major?”
Since Artie had gone to school knowing that he was going to be a biology major, he lived vicariously through his undecided friends as they took classes just to see what they were like. He had been on the fast track, biology majors really had no room for exploring other subjects. Hearing about Tina’s Art History class was always fun for him, since he thought it would be interesting but would never get to take it.
“Maybe. I mean I really like it, but you know my parents would rather I channel my energy into med school like Mike’s brother. We’ll see.” Tina shrugged. She knew when it came down to it, as long as she finished school and found a job, her parents wouldn’t mind. She’d figure it out soon enough. “Anyways. We just finished our unit on Roman mythology. It was my favorite so far.”
“Really? That sounds awesome. Much more interesting than the classes that I am taking...” Artie started to mumble towards the end of the sentence. He was glad to see Tina, but he knew that something just wasn’t right. They weren’t the same, they were acting like they did long ago, before they were dating. He just wondered who was going to say the words first....
Tina frowned as she observed Artie’s expression. She could tell something was off between them, like she was making small talk with a stranger, but she didn’t want to be the one to say it. “What’s wrong?”
“Okay, we both know this is way too weird.” Artie just put it out there on the table. He generally was one to avoid conflicts, but he couldn’t handle the awkward silences any longer. “Something’s wrong between us and we both know it.”
Tina looked at the floor. She was hoping he wouldn’t say that. She was well aware of the weirdness, but she was hoping it was just a rough patch or something. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t either. Tina, you know how I feel about you, but something’s missing and we both know that.” Artie couldn’t actually say the words. He couldn’t say them because that would mean that this was real, that this wasn’t one of their rough patches. This was going to be forever, and he wasn’t ready to let her go just yet. Part of him needed her to say the words, to be the one to end things. At least then he could suffer the broken heart of someone being dumped.
She picked her gaze up from the floor and blinked at him for a moment. A sick, hollow feeling crept into her chest and it took her a moment to find her voice. “Artie, are you saying...” Her tone was soft and slow, trying to find a way to not say this. “I mean, things aren’t that bad, are they?” She stared at her boyfriend with sad eyes, her arms crossed around herself protectively.
“I don’t know anymore Tina. It just seems like the distance is worse than we thought. I thought it was all good, but now I see that we aren’t the same. NOT that you’ve changed or anything... but it’s like we’re friends. Just friends.” Artie wasn’t exactly sure how to word what he was feeling, but he tried his best and hoped that Tina would understand. This was turning out to be one of the hardest conversations of his life.
“But I’m in love with you. Like I’ve always been,” Tina said quietly, trying to get a grasp on the situation. Was this really happening?
“I love you, too. Please don’t make me out to be the bad guy right now,” Artie said with a sigh. It hit him that he was going to have to man up and do the right thing, even if it hurt both of them to do it.
Tina felt her eyes narrow defensively. “I wasn’t trying to. I was just saying how I felt, so if you feel like the bad guy that’s on you, not me,” she muttered, her arms tightening around her as she averted her gaze. She could practically feel her emotional walls boarding up as she glared out the window at the falling snow. It was all she could do to try to keep the sting of frustrated tears at bay.
“Don’t close me out now.” Artie hated how Tina always retreated when things got bad. He didn’t like conflict, but once it started he wanted to get through all of it. Tina was the opposite, at least that's what he thought. She would get into the fight then shut down, and it drove Artie nuts. “Tina, you can’t close me out every time things get hard. That’s why this isn’t working...”
That only seemed to make it worse.
“You’re serious,” she commented, her tone so indignant it sounded amazed. Tina felt like she was always the one to initiate things, to open up, to be the first to fight for them, and even then he found a way to play the blame game and push her away first. Her jaw set and her voice shifted to that dangerous kind of low that only a few people witnessed. Mainly Mike when he made her angry.
“Oh, so I tell you how I feel, how I still want to be with you, and somehow I’m the reason this isn’t working? There’s two people in this relationship, you know. I swear it’s like you’re so stuck on being seen as the good guy, that you blame other people and don’t take responsibility for your own shit, Artie. How the hell is that fair? What’s the point of opening up to you when all you do is push me into a corner no matter what?”
Tina dragged a frustrated hand through her hair. She stood and went to the window, trying to will herself to calm down. She refused to cry. As much as she tried to avoid it, tried to remind herself she loved him, the truth was this wasn’t exactly what you would call working.
“Maybe you’re right,” she murmured, after a moment. She turned back to face him, her voice defeated. She closed her eyes for a second in disbelief that she was actually saying this. But she knew he wouldn’t be the one to say it first. He’d want her to so he’d be the one entitled to nursing a broken heart. And she was too tired to do otherwise.
“Maybe it’s best if we just...” She paused and simply looked at him, wondering how could she be with someone who wouldn’t fight for them as she did. They were hundreds of miles apart even when they were together. Was it even worth it anymore?
“...let each other go.”
“That seems like the best thing. I’m sorry it ended like this, Tina. Please don’t let this ruin our friendship. We were friends before, can’t we be friends after?” Artie knew as he was saying it that it wasn’t going to be true. Things weren’t going to end that well, he should have seen it coming. “Maybe you should go...”
“Yeah,” she said quietly, but she knew things wouldn’t be the same at all. “Yeah, I’ll just...” She got to the door and turned around, sparing him one last glance. “Bye, Artie.”
It wasn’t until Tina was out the front door and in her car down the street that she really let herself break down.