Log: She Means A Lot To Us Both

Oct 17, 2010 12:40

Who: Santana and Ariel
When: Friday, October 15th, 2018
Where: The Princhek residence
What: An overdue lunch date and a word.

Santana put her phone on silent and slipped into the back pocket of her jeans. She had taken a personal day to go over all the meeting notes for Lola’s latest book and figured it was a good day for her lunch date with Ariel. Santana had been putting it off since Lola had called her, upset over her mother’s revelation, but someone had to cross the divide and Santana knew it wouldn’t be her fiancee - if the multiple missed calls and text messages from Ariel to Lola’s phone and their apartment said anything - so she’d taken a break from Allison’s incessant, chicken-scratch notes and walked to Ariel’s around noon.

She knocked on the door and burrowed her hands in the pocket of Lola’s college sweatshirt that she had grabbed on her way out the door. Santana wasn’t nervous, but she was sure that Ariel wasn’t even expecting her. So, she smiled a little as she heard someone approach the door and the lock turn.

Ariel slowly opened the door and her jaw dropped when she saw Santana standing there. The older woman had thoroughly convinced herself that her daughter’s fiancee wouldn’t show up to their weekly lunch date. So convinced, she hadn’t even started to prepared the food.

“She’s furious with me, isn’t she?” she whispered. “I really didn’t think she’d take it this badly, I really didn’t. Will she ever talk to me again? I’m terrified my baby won’t let me walk her down the aisle on one of the most important days of her life.”

Santana opened her mouth and closed it again, choosing her words carefully. There were bags under Ariel’s eyes that matched the bags under Lola’s. “She’s upset,” Santana finally said. “She’s upset that you didn’t trust her enough to tell her the truth. But,” she breathed out quickly, as Ariel’s eyes welled up. “She’ll get over it. She just needs some time. After that, she’ll talk to you and you two will be okay. She’s not going to ignore you forever. She just needs a little time.”

“But it’s been forever since I talked to her,” she replied. “I talk to Lola every day and know every minute of her life. Can you understand that a part of my dies every day she refuses to speak to me?”

Ariel knew, in hindsight, that she had royally messed up with her daughter. She had considered telling her about Esther’s children when Lola was a teenager but for some reason had never gotten around to it. When he had left, the father of her child, she had erased him and everyone connected to him out of her memory, barring Lola. She never thought Lima would ever come up again, why would it? It was a small town in nowhere Ohio and her baby was a published author who was going places. She just hoped she could repair things with her before the wedding.

Santana glanced around and stepped through the doorway, closing the door behind her. “I know,” she said quietly. “I know. But she thought she knew every minute of your life too. And now that she doesn’t... She’s hurt. But she loves you more than anyone in her life.” Santana smiled at her future-mother-in-law. “Just be patient. She’ll come around eventually. We both know she can never stay mad for too long.”

“I just don’t understand how she can miss what she’s never had,” Ariel sighed. “Growing up I was all she ever needed. When he left, we never spoke of him again. So, why would I talk about his other children? They were never important to her before but... she knew them but never knew who they were. Have I robbed her of something important?”

Santana shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t think you robbed her of anything. I don’t think that’s what she feels like. You just... You didn’t tell her everything, Ariel. She always told you everything.” Santana cast a quick, guilty glance at the kitchen table. “She still tells you everything. And I think she thinks you didn’t trust her enough. You two don’t have secrets. And maybe his kids weren’t a secret, but she feels like they are.” She winced as she remembered the look in Lola’s eyes as the blonde told her what Ariel had said at lunch. “She feels like she’s a secret. But she’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.”

“She’s never been a secret!” Ariel gasped. “She just doesn’t know certain people who aren’t important to her well-being. I’m the one who has been there for her, not him or his kids. They all missed her first five years and she didn’t miss them then so why would it matter now?”

“Ariel, I don’t know.” Santana hated seeing that look in Ariel’s eyes: the pain and the confusion. “I’ll talk to her again, though, okay? I’ll see if she’ll meet you for lunch. Or if the three of us can do dinner, no pressure. Okay?”

Ariel stared at the floor, not wanting to see Santana’s apologetic face. She nodded her head before she looked up slowly, “Okay. I just want to fix things with her. So whatever it takes. Thank you for your help. I really do appreciate it.”

She put her arm around the dark haired woman to pull her close. The sweatshirt still smelled of Lola so her voice hitched as she spoke, “I apologize for not having lunch ready. I’m honestly surprised you showed up.”

Santana smiled at Ariel. “I was all cooped up in the apartment. And I haven’t seen my favorite almost-mother-in-law in a bit. So, I figured I’d stop by.” She sobered for a moment. “I’m sorry I didn’t come by sooner.”

“From Lola’s reaction, it would seem I’m not fit for human companionship,” Ariel sighed. “I just don’t understand why she’s so angry. I never thought they were important enough to tell her who they were.”

She wasn’t even sure where they were or if they had survived the flash. She wondered if that’s why Lola was suddenly interested in her extended family? Had the thought that she could have lost them and not know be what was driving her anger? She’d have to find out.

“You’re talking to the wrong person,” Santana muttered. “I can’t even remember the last time I talked to my parents. So her wanting to know about them, it doesn’t make sense to me, but if she wants to know, then I’ll help her. And I know you’ll help her too,” Santana said, staring at Ariel pointedly.

A scowl slid down her face as she replied, “I know that, Santana. That doesn’t mean I like that an old wound is being gouged open after so long. I don’t think you’ve ever been the other woman, have you? I didn’t know he was married or I would have stayed far away. I was already into my second trimester when I found out he had another family.”

Santana blinked hard once. She’d never seen Ariel like this: angry and on the offense. She could see now where Lola got her spark from, but it was still a little unsettling seeing the older Princhek woman glaring at her. “No,” she said slowly. “I’ve never been the other woman. But can you fault Lola for being angry? She suddenly finds out that she has half-sibilings and she’s allowed to be a little upset about it. It’s not every day you find out that there’s some person - people - running around with half of the same genes as you. She handled it poorly. From what I heard, you both did.”

“I’m not sure if there’s a proper etiquette for dealing with new-found relatives, but I would agree that I minimized the issue and she blew it out of proportion,” Ariel sighed. “This whole situation is seriously making my eye twitch because of all the stress.”

The thought that her daughter was still mad at her was not helping her physical situation in the least. She swung her arms a few times and clapped her hands in an attempt to release some pressure before it got the best of her.

“So! What would you like for lunch Santana? We can order in if you like.” she enthused.

Santana rolled her shoulders. “Whatever you want. I’m not really that hungry. I was just tired of being in the apartment. Strawberry keeps clawing all my notes.”

The blonde thought for a moment about the contents of her cupboards,“I have a take and bake pizza in the fridge along with the makings of a particularly fantastic salad if you’d like to try that?”

“Sounds good,” Santana agreed, pulling Lola’s sweatshirt up over her head, draping it on the chair. She pushed up the sleeves of her shirt and looked expectantly at Ariel. “What do you want me to do?”

“Could you heat the oven to temperature they have listed on the back of the pizza, please? While you’re doing that and we’re waiting for it to heat up I’ll throw the salad together.” she said quickly. “Can I get you something to drink, Santana? I apologize for not asking sooner.”

Santana pulled open the fridge and pushed aside a few raw vegetables before she caught the corner of the pizza box. She grabbed the pizza and a can of Root Beer that she’d stashed in the back of the fridge the last time she had come for dinner with Lola. “I’ll just drink this before it goes bad.” Santana skimmed the instructions on the back of the box and cranked the oven dial to 375 degrees, unwrapping the pizza and placing it on a cookie sheet.

“Thank you for helping me out with the root beer. You know my daughter’s affinity for sugar was not something she inherited from me,” she laughed, “She got her beautiful eyes from Phil and her hair color from me. From what I remember his son had similar eyes but much darker hair along with the short temper. Ugh. Not that I don’t have a short temper occasionally.”

The two women stood in silence until the timer on the oven buzzed.

“I’ll get it,” Santana offered, already pulling open the oven door. She slid the cookie sheet in and closed it, setting the timer. “It’ll be about twenty minutes. Want some help on the salad?” She smiled sheepishly. “It’s all Lola let’s me do when she makes dinner. So, I’m good at it.”

Ariel grinned, “It’s what she grew up doing. She’s a fantastic salad maker as a result of years of practice. I suppose she thinks she’s moved up to entrees, right?”

She knew her daughter would eventually stop being mad at her. At least, she hoped so.

“She thinks,” Santana agreed. “But, she likes doing it and I like eating it. So, I figure I won’t take that away from her, right? Plus, for some reason, she doesn’t trust me with a knife around Strawberry.”

“She is just protecting her furbaby, Santana.” She playfully pushed her shoulder. “And I think I just might have instilled a fear of sharp objects or not... Okay, I got stitches as a kid because my hand slipped on a knife and I have a fear of sharp objects.”

In hindsight, handing down her fears and (maybe somewhat) jaded opinions to her daughter probably wasn’t the best route. She thought she had made the right choice in raising her daughter alone and as far from Lima as possible, but she was starting to believe she could have been wrong.

Santana noticed the way Ariel’s eyes dimmed a little and, knowing Lola, knew that Ariel was in her own head, struggling. “Quit it,” she warned. “Or I’m going to be forced to move in with you if you keep making those eyes. You don’t want that. I don’t put my dirty laundry in the hamper when I take it off.”

A small smile started to creep up on the older woman’s face and she exhaled loudly. “I’m just mulling it over in my head. I know every experience we have should be a learning experience, but all I’m feeling is guilt.” She looked intensely to the younger woman. “I was only trying to protect my daughter. That’s all.”

“She knows. At least, I think she does. She’s just confused.” Santana saw the fire flare back in Ariel’s eyes and rushed on. “I think she feels like she missed something. Like, she could have been friends with these kids and never knew it. Do you understand that?”

Her lips pursed together as she slammed her fist on table, “They are his kids! Esther was more of a parent to Lola and his two then he ever was. Phil is too busy with his band, following his bliss and...” she groaned loudly.

“So, wait. Lola knew this other woman then? She knew the other mother of her father’s children? And you didn’t tell her still?”

This whole situation was getting entirely too exasperating for her taste. She clenched her jaw as she spoke. “She knew that Esther was the mother of a friend that she played with in the park a few times a week. The youngest was just a newborn when we left. Lola was a small child at the time so knowing exactly who she was wouldn’t have mattered.”

Santana’s mouth dropped open as she stared at Ariel. “Are you kidding me?” She suddenly felt a spark of fury on her fiancee’s behalf. “She knew them. She knew them? It doesn’t matter how young she was. She grew up. You should have told her.”

“Why?” she countered as the paced nervously. “Why would I let her love her siblings and then rip her away from them when we would undoubtedly move away from them. It hurts to leave someone you love, Santana. It hurts like someone ripped your goddamned heart out and set it on fire before they stomped on it, okay?”

The buzzer signalling the now-forgotten pizza made them both jump but served as an excellent temporary diversion to the escalating argument.

Santana flinched. “I know what it feels like,” she muttered, pulling on an oven mitt and opening the oven door. The heat billowed out at her, hitting her square in the face, but it wasn’t the only reason her eyes suddenly stung. “She deserved to know. She deserved to know who they were. You owed her that much.”

Ariel was ramping up to a full-blown screaming fit. She knew after alienating her daughter that the woman in front of her was her only link to potential reconciliation - she couldn’t mess that up.

“Unfortunately I can’t go back in time to fix that,” she bit out. “I made my choice and I have to live with that. The only thing I can do now is try to find them for her and hope that they all survived the flash.”

With a loud bump she sat down at the table and lay her head down. She really didn’t know what to do, had she painted herself into a corner? The coolness of the smooth surface calmed her down enough for her heart to slow down from its’ earlier hummingbird pace.

Santana dropped the cookie pan onto the top of the stove, not wincing at the loud noise. She took a deep breath, trying to clear her eyes before turning around to look at Ariel. After a moment, she reached calmly into the drawer by the stove, finding the pizza roller, placing it on the counter as she waited for the pizza to cool and set.

“You’re the only person who has only ever told her the truth, all the time. And you didn’t lie, necessarily, but you withheld information from her. And she’s hurt over it.” Santana sighed. “You hurt her. It’s going to take a little time. That’s all.”

Ariel tapped her fingers on the table for a few moments before she replied, “Okay. I get it. She’s hurt. I messed up. Can we just eat some lunch and stop whipping this dead horse of a subject?”

Santana nodded silently and sliced the pizza, placing a slice on two plates and carrying them to the table. She put a plate in front of Ariel and sat down on the opposite side of the table, picking at the veggie toppings.

They sat in silence for the rest of the meal.

character: ariel princhek, character: santana lopez

Previous post Next post
Up