Quinn's lips quirked bitterly. "That's the motto of every kid growing up in Lima, isn't it? I don't want to settle for a life here. I don't want to be a Lima Loser. I thought that's what I was settling for at eighteen. I love my daughter, but this isn't the life I saw for myself. I used to feel so trapped, but then I realized that living in Lima isn't what makes you the loser. It's how you feel inside. None of us, no matter where we live can completely leave this place behind. Lima's a part of us. Whether we like it or not
( ... )
"So you're saying" Emma said "I should love her regarldess of my past and hers regardless of what could be in our future. But just for these moments right now, where we make eachother happy."
"Do you think you should sit here wasting your time predicting the future when you could be actually enjoying 'the limited' time you're saying to might have with her? What do you want to do? Break up with her because you think she might break your heart? Isn't that the risk you take with everyone?" Quinn wasn't sure why she was even pushing so hard for this. Maybe she was hoping a little too. Brittany deserved to be happy.
"I'm not breaking up with her." Emma said quickly, "I know that's not what I want" she relaxed some. "I guess I just wish things could be different. Because..I do, I do already love her."
"So...maybe you should just try to show her that you're not a replacement. Show her that you're better and more. Don't just mope about it," Quinn suggested.
Emma nodded grabbing a wetnap out of her bag to hand to Quinn when Abby rushed over with sticky fingers from the ice cream she'd bought. Once Abby had clambered back to the playground Emma asked,
"I keep them with me to keep my camera clean." she said with a shrug. "But um...has Rachel met Abby? I'm sure she has..?"
"Rachel's met Abby several times since she's come back to town. Abby loves her and she's good with Abby. She's going to be a good mom," Quinn said distractedly, letting her mind drift to Rachel with a smile.
"Pregnancy really suits her. She's absolutely glowing don't you think. Given, it might be a little hard at first. Figuring out the logistics of having two babies. One is crying but she's feeding the other. It would be easier if she had someone to help her but I seriously doubt that she's going to get a nanny. Plus, she has a lot of people here to help her. I don't think she recognizes it sometimes. I think she thinks that she has to do so much on her own when really there are people who want to help just...for the sake of helping her. But I can understand why she's hesitant it seems like..the people she does pick to let in tend to let her down." Emma said after a few moments of letting Quinn have her thoughts to herself.
Quinn clenched her jaw. "Rachel, thinks she has to do it on her own because she's strong and that's how she's always been. It probably doesn't help that she was just left at a vulnerable time in her life and she has been let down," the blonde said evenly. "If you're implying that I will be one of the people who will disappoint her, then I would watch what you say if I were you."
Emma shook her head, "That's not at all what I'm saying Quinn. Because, if anything, I want you to be one of the people in Rachel's life that don't let her down. I want you to be someone that proves her wrong. And I get it maybe you don't want the same type of relationship she does..." Emma paused as something flashed across Quinn's face "or...maybe...you do..?"
"I think...that this isn't something I want to talk about with you, but I know you're looking out for her. I appreciate that. I'd do the same thing in your position, probably worse. I have done worse," Quinn admitted with a sigh. She shifted a little and ran her right hand through her hair.
"I am not at liberty to tell you further than this, but she and I are in a weird place right now. We need to have a talk about it, but I am not setting out to hurt her. I don't want that at all. I want to...be her friend at least."
"We've talked about it some. Your..relationship..friendship..whatever it is you two want to call it. Just in case you thought I was coming at this completly blind, I'm not
( ... )
"Because I already am in a relationship with someone like that. Rachel...isn't the only person that gets hurt in this. I have a great guy I've been with for two years. He loves me. He loves my kid and we're content in our lives, Ms. Rodriguez. If this were a different time or place and I wasn't in a loving, committed relationship, then things might be different." Quinn was ready to leave. She didn't like where this conversation was head.
Emma pulled her bag into her lap speaking quickly but clearly as she saw Abby begin to come over. "I just hope you're happy with content. Happy with someone who loves you and your daughter but..you never said you loved him. If you're okay with settling for that then maybe you haven't let go of that Lima attitude as much as you like to think you have."
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"I keep them with me to keep my camera clean." she said with a shrug. "But um...has Rachel met Abby? I'm sure she has..?"
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"I am not at liberty to tell you further than this, but she and I are in a weird place right now. We need to have a talk about it, but I am not setting out to hurt her. I don't want that at all. I want to...be her friend at least."
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