the hardest part of saying hello is the goodbye
Who: Santana and Lola
When: Sunday Evening
Where: Lola's Hotel Room
What: The saddest goodbye ever
Santana’s breath was still coming out in sharp pants when Lola collapsed next to her and pulled her close. She kissed every inch of warm, brown skin her lips could find, not wanting to miss any. She’d been at this for the last two hours and it was a ridiculous worry, but she knew her time was limited and she definitely wanted to make the most of it.
The brunette pawed blindly at Lola’s face, catching her chin and lifting her head so she could kiss her on the mouth. “You’re going to kill me,” she murmured when Lola pulled back. Santana threw an arm over her face and tried to take a deep breath.
“If I did, you couldn’t leave. So, maybe that’s my plan. Now hush and let me get to it,” Lola pressed their lips together again, her tongue slipping deeply into Santana’s mouth before she could protest.
Santana pulled back after a few minutes and grinned. “What a way to go, huh?” She didn’t wait for Lola’s answer. “Baby,” she started, her voice dropping. “We can’t, again, if I wanna make this flight.”
“And that’s supposed to be incentive for me to let you get up?” Lola grumbled before moving aside. “Fine, if you must.”
“Hey, hey,” Santana said, pulling Lola back briefly. “No pouting.”
Lola shook her head. “No, let’s get this over with. You should probably shower. We were at it for a while.”
“Fine.” Santana got out of bed and didn’t bother pulling the sheet around her body. She turned back towards Lola at the doorway, leaning up against it. “But you better be smiling by the time I get out of here. I promise I won’t be long.”
Sighing, Lola tore her eyes from Santana’s tempting form and looked down. “Hurry up then.”
Ten minutes later, wrapped in a towel, Santana stepped back out of the bathroom, letting the steam billow out behind her. She stopped halfway to the bed to watch Lola at the window, forehead pressed against the glass. Pulling on her underwear and bra, she rummaged through her suitcase for a pair of mesh shorts before sliding up behind the blonde, wrapping her arms around her tightly and propping her chin up on Lola’s shoulder. “Hi.”
Looking at their reflection in the glass, she tried to smile. “Hi.”
Santana reached up with one hand and spread her thumb and forefinger as far as they could go, pressing the into Lola’s face and upward, creating a smile. “See,” Santana said, smirking. “I think this is what you were going for.”
Lola chuckled, but her eyes never strayed from their image. “We look really good together don’t we? I think this year we should do a Christmas card. What do you think?” She was stalling, she knew, but the alternative had tears stinging her eyes and she just didn’t want to break down.
Usually, the thought of future plans made her turn and run, but looking in the window, seeing what Lola was seeing, Santana only wanted to stay. “I think it sounds like a good idea. It’d be the best looking Christmas card ever.”
Sobering, Lola forced herself to turn around. “I don’t know if it’s better to cry now or later. A part of me just wants to get it out of the way now, but I’m not sure it will make a difference honestly.” She took a shuddering breath and looked away.
Santana pulled her chin back around. “It’s three weeks. And as soon as you get back, it’s you and me.” She lowered her voice. “Please don’t cry now, though. I’ll never be able to leave if you do.”
*Lola bit her lip hard. “Sorry...” She shook her head and wrapped her arms around her stomach. “You should get dressed. We don’t have long before we have to go. I’m going to be okay.”
“Figured I’d go like this,” Santana said, shrugging, waiting for Lola to smirk. “Maybe I can get us a discount on the taxi to the airport,” she tried again.
Rolling her eyes, Lola chuckled. “If you go like that, then I get to go without a shirt too. Then we could really give them a show.”
Santana’s eyes light up. “There’s my girl.” She untangled herself from Lola’s arms, scooping a t-shirt off the floor and slipping it over her head. She didn’t have much left to pack: her toothbrush in the bathroom, the shoes by the door, her jeans that Lola had probably forgot Santana said she was going to bring home. Behind her, Lola moved through the room as she zipped her small carry-on case up, pulling it’s handle up, ready to wheel it out the door.
“”What are you going to be doing this week?” Lola asked, not wanting to watch Santana pack. She sat on the bed and drew patterns with her finger on the comforter. “Did you miss a lot of work to visit?”
“Only Thursday and Friday, nothing I can’t make up,” Santana answered, tugging at a difficult zipper. “I’ll probably just work and have dinner with your mom every night so I don’t have to go grocery shopping.”
Lola grinned. Santana’s relationship with her mother had been a welcomed surprise and she was grateful for it because they were the most important people in her life. “Or because you secretly love that she dotes on you.”
Santana shrugs, not embarrassed. “She makes the best vegan chicken piccata. I never say no to chicken substitute.” She offered her hand to Lola. “Come on, Sunshine. I already called down for a cab.”
A part of her wanted to refuse and make Santana go by herself before she hated this, but she knew she’d regret it if she didn’t go. Plus, with all of this blackout business, she knew all too well that a life could be taken away within a matter of seconds. So, with slumped shoulders, she stood and headed towards the door.
Before they reached the hall, where people would undoubtedly intrude on their bubble, she grinned to herself and swatted Lola on the ass, jumping out of reach as Lola turned and swung lightly back at her, smiling again. Santana would do anything to see that smile.
“You are so lucky I love you and you’re leaving. I would get you back for that,” Lola threatened playfully before taking Santana’s free hand. The ride down in the elevator was silent as was the walk to their cab. She slid across the seat and waited for Santana to climb in after her.
Santana stopped at the curb, her heart pulling in two different directions inside of her chest: stay or go. Lola looked up at her from inside the cab, her brow furrowed, but Santana stood still, eyes slightly narrowed. She glanced over her shoulder at the hotel, then back at the taxi, and sighed, following Lola across the vinyl, pressing the both of them against one side of the backseat. “Let’s go,” she said quietly.
Lola’s breath hitched as the cab began to move. She hadn’t realized she’d been hoping that it wasn’t actually happening until just that moment. She reached over and grabbed Santana’s hand before looking out of the window.
Annapolis was quiet at night, but Santana didn’t pay attention to the world outside the cab. She squeezed Lola’s hand and studied the way Lola refused to look at her. “Wanna make out like teenagers?” she asked after a few miles, sliding even closer to her girlfriend. “It could be, like, totally awesome,” she finished in a sing-song voice.
She thought about protesting, but couldn’t understand why she would. Instead she turned and surged forward, pressing Santana back into the vinyl as their lips met.
Not expecting it, Santana groaned but lifted her hands, cupping Lola’s face in her hands. She chuckled as she slowly pulled herself out of the kiss, lingering to peck Lola on the lips again and again as she felt the cab slow down until it was idling along the curb outside the airport’s main entrance. “We’re here,” she announced quietly, unnecessarily.
Taking a deep breath, Lola pulled away reluctantly. “Well, fuck. We’re a little early. Think he’d circle the parking lot?” She asked half-jokingly.
Santana smiled weakly. “I’ll never make it through security in time if we stay in here much longer.”
“We should say our goodbyes here,” Lola said solemnly. “There’s really no reason for me to go in there. I can’t go past the front and I might do something embarrassing like beg you to stay.” She would do it too. She knew she would.
“I might do something crazy, like say yes.”
Lola thought about it long and hard, but shook her head. “It’s only three weeks. We went twenty-one years not knowing each other. We can make is twenty-one days.”
“Longest twenty-one years of my life,” Santana murmured under her breath. She slid out of the cab and pulled Lola out after her, handing the driver a few bills before Lola could protest. She glanced down at her watch. “And technically, it’s twenty days now. But I’ll call you every day, promise.”
Nodding, Lola stepped closer to her. “I guess this is...bye for now.” Her bottom lip quivered and tears filled her eyes.
Santana caught Lola’s bottom lip between her own, hands winding around Lola’s waist, pulling their bodies together. “Just for now,” she whispered against Lola’s mouth before she applied pressure again, kissing harder. “I love you.”
Tears spilled silently over her cheeks as she kissed Santana deeply, taking in her scent and taste for the last time. These three weeks were going to kill her. She didn’t know what she’d do. She pulled back reluctantly. “I love you too,” she whispered, trying desperately not to sob.
Santana used her thumbs to wipe away the tears, kissing under Lola’s eyes. “Now, get out of here before I completely lose my cool, okay? You have an early morning.”
Moving away, she put one foot back in the cab. “Text me when you land in Boston. I’m going to call Mom have her meet you.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Santana said fiddling the with one strand of Lola’s hair she could still reach. “But I’d love that anyway and I’ll text you just soon as I can turn my cell back on at Logan. Kiss me again,” she requested.
Sniffling, Lola kissed her again, a lingering kiss meant to make sure Santana didn’t forget her. “You’d better,” she mumbled against full, soft lips. “I love you.”
Santana took another step back as Lola slid back into the cab, taking her suitcase from the driver standing by the trunk. The man shut it with a loud thud and crossed in front of Santana, breaking her eye contact with Lola. She blinked hard and swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. The cab’s back brake lights flashed as it shifted into drive, and then Lola’s cab pulled into the main lane, the blonde in the backseat turning to look out the rear window.
She sighed heavily and tilted her suitcase onto it’s wheels, moving into the airport on autopilot, through security and onto the plane without breathing.
Santana was sure she wouldn’t be able to breath until she touched down in Boston, and even then, it wouldn’t be the same until Lola came home.
When: Sunday Evening
Where: Lola's Hotel Room
What: The saddest goodbye ever
Santana’s breath was still coming out in sharp pants when Lola collapsed next to her and pulled her close. She kissed every inch of warm, brown skin her lips could find, not wanting to miss any. She’d been at this for the last two hours and it was a ridiculous worry, but she knew her time was limited and she definitely wanted to make the most of it.
The brunette pawed blindly at Lola’s face, catching her chin and lifting her head so she could kiss her on the mouth. “You’re going to kill me,” she murmured when Lola pulled back. Santana threw an arm over her face and tried to take a deep breath.
“If I did, you couldn’t leave. So, maybe that’s my plan. Now hush and let me get to it,” Lola pressed their lips together again, her tongue slipping deeply into Santana’s mouth before she could protest.
Santana pulled back after a few minutes and grinned. “What a way to go, huh?” She didn’t wait for Lola’s answer. “Baby,” she started, her voice dropping. “We can’t, again, if I wanna make this flight.”
“And that’s supposed to be incentive for me to let you get up?” Lola grumbled before moving aside. “Fine, if you must.”
“Hey, hey,” Santana said, pulling Lola back briefly. “No pouting.”
Lola shook her head. “No, let’s get this over with. You should probably shower. We were at it for a while.”
“Fine.” Santana got out of bed and didn’t bother pulling the sheet around her body. She turned back towards Lola at the doorway, leaning up against it. “But you better be smiling by the time I get out of here. I promise I won’t be long.”
Sighing, Lola tore her eyes from Santana’s tempting form and looked down. “Hurry up then.”
Ten minutes later, wrapped in a towel, Santana stepped back out of the bathroom, letting the steam billow out behind her. She stopped halfway to the bed to watch Lola at the window, forehead pressed against the glass. Pulling on her underwear and bra, she rummaged through her suitcase for a pair of mesh shorts before sliding up behind the blonde, wrapping her arms around her tightly and propping her chin up on Lola’s shoulder. “Hi.”
Looking at their reflection in the glass, she tried to smile. “Hi.”
Santana reached up with one hand and spread her thumb and forefinger as far as they could go, pressing the into Lola’s face and upward, creating a smile. “See,” Santana said, smirking. “I think this is what you were going for.”
Lola chuckled, but her eyes never strayed from their image. “We look really good together don’t we? I think this year we should do a Christmas card. What do you think?” She was stalling, she knew, but the alternative had tears stinging her eyes and she just didn’t want to break down.
Usually, the thought of future plans made her turn and run, but looking in the window, seeing what Lola was seeing, Santana only wanted to stay. “I think it sounds like a good idea. It’d be the best looking Christmas card ever.”
Sobering, Lola forced herself to turn around. “I don’t know if it’s better to cry now or later. A part of me just wants to get it out of the way now, but I’m not sure it will make a difference honestly.” She took a shuddering breath and looked away.
Santana pulled her chin back around. “It’s three weeks. And as soon as you get back, it’s you and me.” She lowered her voice. “Please don’t cry now, though. I’ll never be able to leave if you do.”
*Lola bit her lip hard. “Sorry...” She shook her head and wrapped her arms around her stomach. “You should get dressed. We don’t have long before we have to go. I’m going to be okay.”
“Figured I’d go like this,” Santana said, shrugging, waiting for Lola to smirk. “Maybe I can get us a discount on the taxi to the airport,” she tried again.
Rolling her eyes, Lola chuckled. “If you go like that, then I get to go without a shirt too. Then we could really give them a show.”
Santana’s eyes light up. “There’s my girl.” She untangled herself from Lola’s arms, scooping a t-shirt off the floor and slipping it over her head. She didn’t have much left to pack: her toothbrush in the bathroom, the shoes by the door, her jeans that Lola had probably forgot Santana said she was going to bring home. Behind her, Lola moved through the room as she zipped her small carry-on case up, pulling it’s handle up, ready to wheel it out the door.
“”What are you going to be doing this week?” Lola asked, not wanting to watch Santana pack. She sat on the bed and drew patterns with her finger on the comforter. “Did you miss a lot of work to visit?”
“Only Thursday and Friday, nothing I can’t make up,” Santana answered, tugging at a difficult zipper. “I’ll probably just work and have dinner with your mom every night so I don’t have to go grocery shopping.”
Lola grinned. Santana’s relationship with her mother had been a welcomed surprise and she was grateful for it because they were the most important people in her life. “Or because you secretly love that she dotes on you.”
Santana shrugs, not embarrassed. “She makes the best vegan chicken piccata. I never say no to chicken substitute.” She offered her hand to Lola. “Come on, Sunshine. I already called down for a cab.”
A part of her wanted to refuse and make Santana go by herself before she hated this, but she knew she’d regret it if she didn’t go. Plus, with all of this blackout business, she knew all too well that a life could be taken away within a matter of seconds. So, with slumped shoulders, she stood and headed towards the door.
Before they reached the hall, where people would undoubtedly intrude on their bubble, she grinned to herself and swatted Lola on the ass, jumping out of reach as Lola turned and swung lightly back at her, smiling again. Santana would do anything to see that smile.
“You are so lucky I love you and you’re leaving. I would get you back for that,” Lola threatened playfully before taking Santana’s free hand. The ride down in the elevator was silent as was the walk to their cab. She slid across the seat and waited for Santana to climb in after her.
Santana stopped at the curb, her heart pulling in two different directions inside of her chest: stay or go. Lola looked up at her from inside the cab, her brow furrowed, but Santana stood still, eyes slightly narrowed. She glanced over her shoulder at the hotel, then back at the taxi, and sighed, following Lola across the vinyl, pressing the both of them against one side of the backseat. “Let’s go,” she said quietly.
Lola’s breath hitched as the cab began to move. She hadn’t realized she’d been hoping that it wasn’t actually happening until just that moment. She reached over and grabbed Santana’s hand before looking out of the window.
Annapolis was quiet at night, but Santana didn’t pay attention to the world outside the cab. She squeezed Lola’s hand and studied the way Lola refused to look at her. “Wanna make out like teenagers?” she asked after a few miles, sliding even closer to her girlfriend. “It could be, like, totally awesome,” she finished in a sing-song voice.
She thought about protesting, but couldn’t understand why she would. Instead she turned and surged forward, pressing Santana back into the vinyl as their lips met.
Not expecting it, Santana groaned but lifted her hands, cupping Lola’s face in her hands. She chuckled as she slowly pulled herself out of the kiss, lingering to peck Lola on the lips again and again as she felt the cab slow down until it was idling along the curb outside the airport’s main entrance. “We’re here,” she announced quietly, unnecessarily.
Taking a deep breath, Lola pulled away reluctantly. “Well, fuck. We’re a little early. Think he’d circle the parking lot?” She asked half-jokingly.
Santana smiled weakly. “I’ll never make it through security in time if we stay in here much longer.”
“We should say our goodbyes here,” Lola said solemnly. “There’s really no reason for me to go in there. I can’t go past the front and I might do something embarrassing like beg you to stay.” She would do it too. She knew she would.
“I might do something crazy, like say yes.”
Lola thought about it long and hard, but shook her head. “It’s only three weeks. We went twenty-one years not knowing each other. We can make is twenty-one days.”
“Longest twenty-one years of my life,” Santana murmured under her breath. She slid out of the cab and pulled Lola out after her, handing the driver a few bills before Lola could protest. She glanced down at her watch. “And technically, it’s twenty days now. But I’ll call you every day, promise.”
Nodding, Lola stepped closer to her. “I guess this is...bye for now.” Her bottom lip quivered and tears filled her eyes.
Santana caught Lola’s bottom lip between her own, hands winding around Lola’s waist, pulling their bodies together. “Just for now,” she whispered against Lola’s mouth before she applied pressure again, kissing harder. “I love you.”
Tears spilled silently over her cheeks as she kissed Santana deeply, taking in her scent and taste for the last time. These three weeks were going to kill her. She didn’t know what she’d do. She pulled back reluctantly. “I love you too,” she whispered, trying desperately not to sob.
Santana used her thumbs to wipe away the tears, kissing under Lola’s eyes. “Now, get out of here before I completely lose my cool, okay? You have an early morning.”
Moving away, she put one foot back in the cab. “Text me when you land in Boston. I’m going to call Mom have her meet you.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Santana said fiddling the with one strand of Lola’s hair she could still reach. “But I’d love that anyway and I’ll text you just soon as I can turn my cell back on at Logan. Kiss me again,” she requested.
Sniffling, Lola kissed her again, a lingering kiss meant to make sure Santana didn’t forget her. “You’d better,” she mumbled against full, soft lips. “I love you.”
Santana took another step back as Lola slid back into the cab, taking her suitcase from the driver standing by the trunk. The man shut it with a loud thud and crossed in front of Santana, breaking her eye contact with Lola. She blinked hard and swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. The cab’s back brake lights flashed as it shifted into drive, and then Lola’s cab pulled into the main lane, the blonde in the backseat turning to look out the rear window.
She sighed heavily and tilted her suitcase onto it’s wheels, moving into the airport on autopilot, through security and onto the plane without breathing.
Santana was sure she wouldn’t be able to breath until she touched down in Boston, and even then, it wouldn’t be the same until Lola came home.