(no subject)
Alphonse didn’t want to know what he had become, anymore - he was a monster now, he knew that much, and that was as far as he wanted to know. He had no idea if he was going to change any further than what he was now...he hoped not, frankly. But there was - there was no denying, anymore, just what he had become. He was a monster now, and that was that. Nothing more to say - nothing to debate or argue or...
He'd grown, too, hadn't he? The arche in his joints and muscles wasn't something all that unlike growing pains he'd begun to experience normally, only...intensified, more painful than the regular pains that one might experience. It was a horrible ache in all of his bones and limbs - especially his fingers, wrists, back, jaw... and the muscle - the muscle seemed almost to be stretching and tearing to grow with the bones - the muscle trying to grow suddenly longer for the sudden and abnormal growth in the bones. Not being able to deal with the demand for growth - tearing and rotting away, just like that flesh around it was starting to. Dead skin and meat and muscle - dead skin and meat and muscle that wasn't supposed to be growing anymore. It couldn't be forced to grow and further, and yet it was trying. He ran a finger along his pained jaws - the jaws that cracked and hurt when he opened them a fraction of an inch too wide, now. He ran his fingers over the flesh over his jaw, before recoiling - disgusted and horrified by the sickening feeling his skin was starting to accumulate there. It wasn't - it wasn't supposed to be like that. His jaw was...longer and the teeth weren't right, and it hurt to bite - it hurt to chew, because his teeth and bones weren't right anymore. The teeth tore at the skin inside his mouth, making it raw and bloody. His jaws cracked and disconnected at the strain...
His hair, too...even that was getting thinner - keeping there for the most part, but thinned out from its normal, thick masses. Having more trouble staying attached to the flesh that was stretching and rotting and...
His eyes - those terrified him more than the rest of his face and head...the large, gaping holes that he couldn't feel anymore. The eyelids he couldn't feel brushing up against the bandages that concealed and contained - contained the rot that spread and ate away at the flesh below the bandages. The once burnt, injured flesh that was so quick to just...rot and fall away. Not holding onto any semblance of life anymore - leaving the bandages disgusting and soaked with pus and blood and rot. Filthy, horrible... Alphonse began to claw at the bandages surrounding his eyes, trying to get the horrible smell and feel off of his face, as the rot and fluids spread through the bandages, soaking onto the portions of his face that had healed long ago - the portions of his face that hadn't been burnt so badly - the portions of his face that could feel. He clawed and tore at them, trying to get them away - trying to get the horrible feeling away already.
He recoiled as soon as the bandages came away, and moved to toss them away - get them away from every part of him, especially when he felt the feeling against his fingers instead. Surely some of the bandages still hung from his face and head, merely torn away, exposing part but not all of what had laid beneath. He wasn't even wearing his gloves anymore, nor his overcoat or tanktop - he'd set those aside, removing them before they could become destroyed and ruined and filthy by what he had become. They didn't really fit anymore - it was only the pants and the jacket and the pants and hardly the shoes that could last - that could withstand the horrible growing and disgusting...beast he was becoming - had become.
He didn't...he didn't even know why he was thinking this. Alphonse slumped on the floor, and moved to hug himself, whimpering. He...hadn't thought of himself as filthy, before. A monster - a monster - maybe - yes - but never before...never had he been thinking that...
He was...
He was just afraid.
I should...post this somewhere.
Or...leave it in here.
idk.
He'd grown, too, hadn't he? The arche in his joints and muscles wasn't something all that unlike growing pains he'd begun to experience normally, only...intensified, more painful than the regular pains that one might experience. It was a horrible ache in all of his bones and limbs - especially his fingers, wrists, back, jaw... and the muscle - the muscle seemed almost to be stretching and tearing to grow with the bones - the muscle trying to grow suddenly longer for the sudden and abnormal growth in the bones. Not being able to deal with the demand for growth - tearing and rotting away, just like that flesh around it was starting to. Dead skin and meat and muscle - dead skin and meat and muscle that wasn't supposed to be growing anymore. It couldn't be forced to grow and further, and yet it was trying. He ran a finger along his pained jaws - the jaws that cracked and hurt when he opened them a fraction of an inch too wide, now. He ran his fingers over the flesh over his jaw, before recoiling - disgusted and horrified by the sickening feeling his skin was starting to accumulate there. It wasn't - it wasn't supposed to be like that. His jaw was...longer and the teeth weren't right, and it hurt to bite - it hurt to chew, because his teeth and bones weren't right anymore. The teeth tore at the skin inside his mouth, making it raw and bloody. His jaws cracked and disconnected at the strain...
His hair, too...even that was getting thinner - keeping there for the most part, but thinned out from its normal, thick masses. Having more trouble staying attached to the flesh that was stretching and rotting and...
His eyes - those terrified him more than the rest of his face and head...the large, gaping holes that he couldn't feel anymore. The eyelids he couldn't feel brushing up against the bandages that concealed and contained - contained the rot that spread and ate away at the flesh below the bandages. The once burnt, injured flesh that was so quick to just...rot and fall away. Not holding onto any semblance of life anymore - leaving the bandages disgusting and soaked with pus and blood and rot. Filthy, horrible... Alphonse began to claw at the bandages surrounding his eyes, trying to get the horrible smell and feel off of his face, as the rot and fluids spread through the bandages, soaking onto the portions of his face that had healed long ago - the portions of his face that hadn't been burnt so badly - the portions of his face that could feel. He clawed and tore at them, trying to get them away - trying to get the horrible feeling away already.
He recoiled as soon as the bandages came away, and moved to toss them away - get them away from every part of him, especially when he felt the feeling against his fingers instead. Surely some of the bandages still hung from his face and head, merely torn away, exposing part but not all of what had laid beneath. He wasn't even wearing his gloves anymore, nor his overcoat or tanktop - he'd set those aside, removing them before they could become destroyed and ruined and filthy by what he had become. They didn't really fit anymore - it was only the pants and the jacket and the pants and hardly the shoes that could last - that could withstand the horrible growing and disgusting...beast he was becoming - had become.
He didn't...he didn't even know why he was thinking this. Alphonse slumped on the floor, and moved to hug himself, whimpering. He...hadn't thought of himself as filthy, before. A monster - a monster - maybe - yes - but never before...never had he been thinking that...
He was...
He was just afraid.
I should...post this somewhere.
Or...leave it in here.
idk.