Empty [2/2]
Title: Empty [2/2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Sometimes you must forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.
[1]
Yifan still regularly called Junmyeon, but it was starting to feel different.
Junmyeon could feel complaints and sadness were starting to occupy his heart, but he still said nothing.
He spent his days working, sleeping, and doing nothing when Yifan wasn’t calling and when Jongin wasn’t there to accompany him.
Junmyeon was at a cafe that day, waiting for Kyungsoo-one of his colleagues-to discuss a new material for the lecturing, when he overheard a couple-who were just a few tables away from him-had an argument.
It looked like they were arguing over silly things. Junmyeon and Yifan had never argued in the first place, simply because he just liked to keep things to himself. And Yifan, well…he wasn’t the nagging kind of person. An argument was something they never had. Junmyeon was a bit lost in sadness when he realized he wanted to hear Yifan’s voice, but he slowly snapped out of it as the couple’s tone increased an octave.
“If I tell you that I don’t want you to go, then you don’t!”
“But-but Wonshik, we’re just friends!”
“I don’t give a damn, Hongbin, I don’t want you to go with him!!”
“But-“
“No buts! No means no!”
The person named Hongbin sounded like he was doing his best not to burst out crying. Junmyeon unconsciously-and just a wee bit curious-stared at the couple from the reflections on the window. Yifan had never said things like that to him before. Did it mean that he was never jealous…? But come to think of it, Junmyeon was never jealous of Yifan’s friends too.
Junmyeon continued to stare at the couple through the reflections. After a few minutes, Wonshik tried to snatch Hongbin’s hand, but the latter slapped the former’s hand away. It made Junmyeon a bit awkward for witnessing it, but then again, it was his fault for staring at the couple in the first place.
“You love me, right…?”
Wonshik sighed in desperation before nodding. “Very much.”
“Then you need to change, Wonshik,” Hongbin said quietly, as if he was afraid his boyfriend would snap again. “I can’t-you can’t do this to me. I swear, they’re all just friends. And I texted you the whole time you even though I was with my friends. So please…”
Junmyeon shifted his gaze somewhere else.
“If you want to be with me, you have to accept me for who I am. Including my friends…”
“Junmyeon-hyung, sorry to keep you waiting!”
Junmyeon looked up at Kyungsoo who showed up with a ragged breath, obviously he had been running. The couple’s conversation was drowned by Kyungsoo’s quite loud apologies for being late and everything. After a few minutes, Junmyeon didn’t hear any argument from the other table anymore. But when he glanced over his shoulder and caught the two kissing, Junmyeon felt kind of glad.
Secretly, he knew that Hongbin was right.
Junmyeon had to accept Yifan for who he really was.
Including his job.
But was it selfish if he didn’t want to?
***
Junmyeon had just stepped out of the shower when he heard his phone’s ringtone.
It was Yifan.
Junmyeon was quite certain that his boyfriend was still at work, and that he was being sneaky by calling him between his breaks. It was already a missed call by the time he grabbed his phone. Junmyeon pondered of calling Yifan back, but his phone rang again the next second. He picked it up without thinking, despite the fact that he wasn’t that eager to speak to his boyfriend.
“Hey, babe.”
Junmyeon pursed his lips. He could tell from Yifan’s voice that the latter was tired, but he still managed to sound happy. “Hi...”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to bed.”
“So soon? Was today tiring? How was work?”
Junmyeon sighed quietly as he sat at the edge of his bed. “Don’t worry about me. What about you? You’ve been using your breaks to make a phone call. Wouldn’t they be angry at you? You should just call when you get back at the hotel-“
“Why would they? I mean, it’s my break, my phone, my boyfriend-“
“Yifan, I’m…I’m just saying that it’s probably better if you don’t call me as often.”
“Oh.”
Junmyeon palmed his face. He didn’t mean to sound harsh. “Look, I’m really tired, okay?”
“Okay. I’m sorry. Can I call you soon? In the morning?”
Junmyeon inaudibly let out a sigh. “Only if you’re free, okay?”
“Yes, Princess. Good night, Junmyeon.”
“…good night.”
“Love you-“
Junmyeon hung up before he got to hear the rest of the sentence.
***
Junmyeon was in the library one Sunday when he overheard a conversation.
The library was the place he went whenever he wanted to clear his mind. By putting a pair of headphones on his ears and with several opened books in front of him, anyone would think that he was reading very seriously. The truth was, he just didn’t want to be disturbed.
“Chanyeol is going away?”
Junmyeon frowned. The voice came from behind him.
“Sshh!! Your voice is too loud, Jongdae!”
“Oh come on, Baekhyun, no one’s around us! Except…that guy with the headphones by the table, but duh, you know what headphones do.”
Junmyeon was a bit amused. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but their voices were quite loud.
“Besides, what’s the chance of someone knows Chanyeol here anyway? It’s just you and me. Baek, I can’t believe you drag me to the library just to talk about this. Isn’t there a better place called diner or something?”
“Jongdae-“
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Let’s talk. So he’s going away, Baek. Aren’t you going to tell him how you feel?”
“Should I?” Baekhyun sounded hesitant and Junmyeon’s heart ached slightly. It sounded painfully similar. “I mean, it’s been Chanyeol’s dream all along…”
“But you’re his boyfriend. You have the right to tell him anything. Are you sure he’s not going to listen to you? Make him reconsider it?”
“I…I don’t know…”
Junmyeon’s eyes unwillingly became teary. He became lost in his own thoughts that Baekhyun and Jongdae’s voices sounded like waves. Junmyeon slowly closed his eyes and mentally kicked himself. Didn’t he come here to clear his mind…? Then why did everything just reminded him of Yifan…?
Junmyeon closed the books before him and took a deep breath.
He should probably go now.
Jongdae and Baekhyun were still talking behind him, their voices dropped an octave when Junmyeon stood up.
Junmyeon was about to pass Baekhyun when the book the latter was holding accidentally slipped out of his grip. He managed to catch it on time and handed it back to Baekhyun, earning a soft gratitude from the other male. When their eyes met, Junmyeon couldn’t help himself and said,
“Don’t let him go.”
Because his biggest mistake was letting Yifan go.
***
Junmyeon smiled when Yifan was requesting a video call instead of a voice call that night. He settled for a comfortable position on his bed before accepting the call.
“Hi, babe!”
Happy tears threatened to fall from his eyes upon seeing Yifan’s smile. He missed the Chinese-Canadian male so damn much, that was for certain. Junmyeon opened his mouth to say those words, but he closed his mouth back before he got the chance because…
…because he didn’t want Yifan to feel burdened.
Yifan looked thinner, but he assured Junmyeon that he ate well. They had been talking for quite a while when all of a sudden, someone came from behind Yifan and Junmyeon’s heart almost stopped working. He didn’t know who it was. But the male was good-looking, too good-looking in fact that Junmyeon felt that he was definitely losing even by physically.
“Yifan?”
Junmyeon instantly backed away from the screen, as if he wanted to hide.
Yifan peered over his shoulder to smile at his companion. “Hey, Minseok.”
“What do you want for dinner?”
Without thinking, Junmyeon disconnected the call.
He had never felt so broken-hearted.
Yifan tried to call him several times after that, but Junmyeon didn’t feel like talking anymore. He told Yifan that the connection was bad, he was sleepy anyway and needed to sleep.
The Chinese male didn’t seem to buy his story, but at least he said ‘next time, then’.
Who was Minseok?
Another model?
A colleague?
A manager?
Junmyeon probably was being irrational, but the image of Yifan laughing with Minseok bothered him. It could probably mean nothing. Since Minseok was asking what Yifan wanted for dinner, they could be roommates. They could be partners. They could be…
…lovers.
The beautiful male sighed in exasperation and tried to close his eyes and sleep.
***
Junmyeon passed by the coffee shop he frequented before going to the university on the next morning. Jaehwan, his high-school friend, was working there. Realizing that there weren’t many people lining to buy a cup of coffee, he immediately entered the place. Junmyeon’s phone vibrated in his pocket and he took it out to see who was calling, but his heart sank upon seeing the name.
Yifan.
Junmyeon visibly bit his lower lip. He stared at his phone like it was a call from an ex-boyfriend before shifting his eyes back to the counter, where he caught the barista’s smile. It was already his turn. Junmyeon smiled apologetically as he stepped forward. He glanced around to look for his friend, but Jaehwan was nowhere in sight.
“Good morning.”
“Morning,” Junmyeon greeted back politely. The barista’s nametag said ‘Taekwoon’. “I’ll have the usual…it’s-”
“Tiramisu with no whip cream and low fat milk to go under the name of Suho,” Taekwoon finished with a grin.
Junmyeon was flabbergasted. “Uh…yeah. Please.”
“Coming right up. Oh, by the way, if you’re looking for Jaehwan, he called-in sick,” Taekwoon explained even without Junmyeon asking. “But I’ll tell him you drop by. If you don’t mind, what’s your relationship with him anyway?”
“Oh. Um…he was my junior in high school.”
“I see. Nothing more?”
Junmyeon blinked rapidly. “…nothing more.”
“Ah, it’s on me,” Taekwoon shook his head when Junmyeon was about to hand him some bills.
“Wh-what?”
“You can pay over dinner,” Taekwoon said with a nonchalant shrug. “Friday night okay?”
Junmyeon froze. He didn’t know if Taekwoon was serious or he was just joking, but he didn’t want to stick around to find out. Junmyeon placed the money on the counter anyway.
“I…I gotta go.”
“Suho, wait-“
Junmyeon dashed outside the coffee shop in a record time, and he made a mental note not going back unless there was Jaehwan inside.
He felt slightly scared.
***
Junmyeon told no one about Taekwoon, not even to Yifan.
He thought of not going to the coffee shop again, but it wasn’t Taekwoon that made him come in the first place, right? It was the coffee-and Jaehwan. Besides, if Taekwoon ever asked him out again, Junmyeon would tell him that he had a boyfriend.
Dammit.
Junmyeon wanted to hear Yifan’s voice.
So he initiated, for the first time, to request a video call to Yifan. If Yifan was at work, he promised it would be quick. Junmyeon just needed
to see his boyfriend’s face, to see his smile, to make him feel all right. Fortunately, Yifan didn’t take long to accept his video call.
“Junmyeon!” Yifan exclaimed happily. “Hi, babe!”
Junmyeon chuckled and he waved his hand. “Yifan, hi. Um, am I bothering you?”
“No, it’s perfect, but I can’t stay long. We’re about to go to a meeting, to discuss the next concept and theme.”
“I see. Don’t forget to eat, Yifan.”
“I won’t forget,” Yifan genuinely smiled. “I’ll be okay.”
“I…”
I miss you.
“Yes?”
Tell him you miss him.
“Nothing, I just…”
“Are you alright?”
Junmyeon’s shoulders flinched. “Me?”
“Yes. Is something wrong?” Yifan’s expression became worried. “Is work being a pain? Is someone bothering you?”
Junmyeon bit his lower lip. Should he tell Yifan…? Even though it would only burden Yifan…? Because they were miles apart…?
Taekwoon…
Was there still hope in their relationship…?
He…
“What is it, Minseok?”
Junmyeon’s expression instantly faltered upon hearing the name being mentioned. Yifan seemed to be talking to Minseok, but he couldn’t hear what the latter said because it was muffled in the background. Junmyeon’s heart was filled with doubts again and it exploded the moment Yifan laughed heartily at something Minseok said.
“Yifan, I…I should sleep.”
“Eh?”
“Besides, you’re going to the meeting soon, so…”
Yifan seemed to notice the sudden change of behavior, but he did nothing to force it out of his bofyriend. “I see. I’ll talk to you soon then?”
“Okay.”
“See you, Junm-“
***
Needless to say, Junmyeon started avoiding Yifan’s calls.
Busy, feeling unwell, needed to rest, misplaced his phone, his battery died, were the constant reasons he told the Chinese male.
Junmyeon wasn’t sure of what to do. The thought of Yifan being with Minseok 24/7 scared him. It made him worry, even though perhaps…perhaps nothing happened between them. If Minseok was also going to the meeting that Yifan spoke of, he was definitely another model. But with them a world apart like this and someone as beautiful as Minseok was beside Yifan… A lot of ‘what ifs’ ran through his mind, but Junmyeon himself didn’t dare to look for an answer. He didn’t want to think that Yifan…was being unfaithful to him, or would turn unfaithful, but…
Minseok was too damn gorgeous.
Well, he was a model. What did he expected?
And if Yifan ever, ever dumped him and dated Minseok, they would make money easily compared to him, who was merely a lecturer assistant at the university, who didn’t make money as much as them. It would be a better reason for them to break-up.
Junmyeon felt like crying at the thought.
It was raining that evening and he didn’t feel like going home just yet. Junmyeon randomly went into the convenient store to restock his stuffs at home and unexpectedly, he ran into Taekwoon.
The last person he wanted to see right then.
“Suho?”
Junmyeon turned his head and his eyes widened in shock upon seeing the barista. “H-hi…”
“Hi,” Taekwoon smiled widely as he walked closer. “What a coincidence meeting you here. Are you alone?”
Junmyeon thought about lying, but then he changed his mind. “Y-yes…you?”
“I’m with a friend. He’s somewhere in the aisle four…”
“Oh,” Junmyeon flatly commented as he took a step backward. “Well, if you’ll excuse me-“
“Suho, wait. Have you thought about the dinner offer?”
Junmyeon’s throat went dry and he took another step backwad. “Taekwoon, I’m-“
“-seeing someone, I know. Jaehwan told me you guys were in a long-distance relationship.”
Junmyeon frowned disapprovingly. “And if you knew, why-“
“It’s just a dinner. Just one dinner, and that’s all I ask.” Taekwoon’s face glinted with hope. “Please…?”
Junmyeon swallowed thickly.
Yifan.
“You left me with no answer once,” Taekwoon softly continued. “Just give me the answer, and I’ll give up. Or better yet, give me a chance and let me prove it to you.”
Junmyeon’s chest hurt. He clutched his chest with a hand, and he was doubtful. Junmyeon looked at Taekwoon’s face for a few moments before sighing.
He would probably regret his decision later.
***
In the end, Junmyeon declined the invitation, but he couldn’t lie to himself that he was thinking of saying yes.
It had been months since Yifan left for his modeling, and Junmyeon felt a bit lonely. Although Jongin or Kyungsoo would be there for him if he asked them to, he wanted it to be someone who was more than his friend.
His boyfriend.
Junmyeon kind of wished Yifan was working as a barista instead of a runway model. That way, they could be together 24/7 and he wouldn’t have to feel this way.
The rain had stopped that night a few minutes after he got home. The fair-skinned male cradled his phone in his hand after sending a text to Yifan.
Skype when you’re free?
Yifan only took five minutes to reply,
Sure thing, babe. In a minute.
Junmyeon sat patiently in front of his laptop. His feelings were a mess, but he didn’t intend to show Yifan that. However, the first thing he blurted out of his mouth when Yifan called was,
“When are you coming home?”
Yifan looked at him before inhaling deeply. “Couple of months, max. The jobs just keep on coming, but the paycheck is great, too. We can afford a bigger apartment when I get back.”
“I don't want a bigger apartment. This one is enough, Yifan…”
“How about a car, then? Why don’t you try browsing for the models you like and then tell me which one you want?”
“I don’t have a license…besides, what good of a car if you’re not around to drive it for me…” Junmyeon dropped his gaze to his lap, wondering if he should tell Yifan about Taekwoon. He had to, hadn’t he? “Yifan…”
“Yes, babe?”
Taekwoon…
“Are you happy…? With everything…?”
He reminds me of you.
Yifan tilted his head to one side, slightly frowning at the question. “What kind of question is that? Of course I’m happy.”
Your stubbornness…
“Junmyeon?”
“Yes?”
“Are you happy?”
Junmyeon blinked. He straightened a bit in his seat. You mean with us separating like this? No. Hell no. With you over there with gorgeous models and beautiful people? No.
No.
No.
No!!!
But what good would it be if he told Yifan the truth now? It would be impossible for Yifan to go home and terminate his contract with the company. Perhaps it wasn’t a good time to be honest. It would be easier to just lie for now.
Junmyeon bloomed into a bitter smile.
“Of course, Yifan…”
***
Junmyeon sat all by himself in the coffee shop.
It was a bit late, but Junmyeon didn’t really want to go home just yet. The coffee shop was still crowded, and it was kind of nice to be surrounded by that kind of atmosphere.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Junmyeon looked up at Taekwoon. Despite everything that happened, the barista was still kind to him and Junmyeon appreciated it. Not everyone who got rejected would be able to stay the same. Something was different, though. This time, he didn’t really push Taekwoon away.
The blond-haired male offered a small smile, which Junmyeon slowly returned. Junmyeon did nothing when Taekwoon occupied the empty seat in front of him. He felt pretty lonely and he could use some company.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Junmyeon glanced over his shoulder. “Are you sure it’s okay for you to be here? You need to work, right?”
“Jaehwan said he’d cut me some slack as long as I cover for his shift tomorrow,” Taekwoon said with a grin and his attention was divided momentarily because his phone was ringing. The male looked at the screen and he grimaced upon acknowledging who it was. Taekwoon chose not to pick it up.
Junmyeon frowned slightly, but he didn’t probe further.
Taekwoon placed the phone on the table and he looked like he was about to continue talking. But before he managed to do anything, his phone rang again.
Junmyeon caught a glimpse of the picture of the caller on the screen. Haekyeon…? It was a bit blur, but he could tell that the caller was good-looking.
Taekwoon seemed to ponder whether to pick it up or not. But it was obvious in his orbs that they were sparkling. Junmyeon immediately knew that Taekwoon’s real feelings were for that person, and not him. The phone vibrated again and Junmyeon took the opportunity to grab his jacket and stood up. The other male looked up with confusion plastered all over his face and he earned a dismissive wave of hand in response.
“Pick it up. I know you want to.”
“Suho, wait.”
Junmyeon paused to look at him.
“I’m sorry…”
Junmyeon’s eyes softened. “What are you sorry about? I have a boyfriend, Taekwoon. And obviously,” he motioned to the phone in
Taekwoon’s hand. “He’s the one for you.”
With that, Junmyeon bade him goodbye and walked out of the place.
***
Junmyeon felt relieved.
He was glad that he didn’t give in to the temptation.
Taekwoon might be near, but Yifan was still the one for him.
Junmyeon stole a glance at his watch. He wanted to hear Yifan’s voice so badly, even just for a minute. He knew that he would bother the Chinese male by calling right now, because if he wasn’t mistaken, Yifan was modeling in some runway. But even if his boyfriend didn’t pick up the call, Junmyeon decided to just leave a voice-mail.
Fortunately, someone picked up on the second ring.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t Yifan.
“Hello?”
Junmyeon was stunned. He had only heard the voice for a couple times and it wasn’t really clear, but Junmyeon was certain it was Minseok.
The name felt like a ticking bomb to his heart.
“Hello? Who is this?”
“Yifan,” Junmyeon’s voice cracked slightly. “Is Yifan there?”
“Yeah. He’s about to get out to the stage though. I’ll take your message for him-oh, there he is.”
There were some noises before Yifan’s voice floated through the phone. “Babe?”
Junmyeon shut his eyes. This wasn’t what he planned. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Junmyeon felt like ranting. Why was Yifan’s phone with Minseok?
“Hi… Do I catch you at a bad time?”
“Kind of. I’ll be out in a few minutes. Can I call you later when I’m done? Minseok will hold my phone, so you don’t have to worry.”
“Minseok will…? Isn’t he going with you?”
“Ah, no. He doesn’t take the offer this time. He just accompanies me.”
Junmyeon’s heart bubbled with a lot of jealousy and he didn’t know what went to him when he blurted out all of a sudden,
“Yifan, I’m breaking up with you.”
“What?”
“I’m breaking up with you,” Junmyeon cried in distress. “It’s over.”
“Junmyeon-“
Click.
***
Days went by and not a single day Yifan hadn’t tried to call him.
But Junmyeon refused to pick up.
He knew he was being unfair on the Chinese male. Yifan probably understood nothing and it was a one-sided break-up. His boyf…his ex-boyfriend deserved an explanation. Yifan deserved to know what had been happening.
So Junmyeon did.
It was hard for Junmyeon to speak out his thoughts because he would just cry when he did, so he wrote them down in email. It was one long-assed email, and he wasn’t sure if Yifan would spend ten minutes and read about his complaints, his whining, and his feelings about everything. About how he didn’t want Yifan to model in the first place. About how jealous he was towards Minseok, and how he almost agreed to have dinner with Taekwoon.
Junmyeon ended it up with writing,
I’m sorry I couldn’t be the one you go home to.
But I love you.
And it will never change.
“Is it okay if you stay here?”
Junmyeon lifted up his chin to look up at Jongin. He had been crashing Jongin’s apartment ever since the day he broke up with Yifan. Jongin’s apartment was smaller, anyway. It was going to be temporary, just until Junmyeon found a new place to live.
“Why wouldn’t it be okay?”
“What if Yifan-hyung suddenly comes home and you’re not there?”
Junmyeon directed his gaze someplace else. “It’s okay.” He hoped it ended there, but he knew Jongin demanded some sort of explanation, so after encouraging himself, Junmyeon dared himself to speak. “We broke up.”
Jongin threw himself to the empty spot beside Junmyeon with a loud sigh and wrapped an arm around his older brother’s shoulder. “I kind of figured. Big fight?”
Junmyeon drew his knees to his chest and shook his head. “Sooner or later, it will happen, I guess. It’s obvious that we’re not meant to be. He’s living in a world of models while me… I’m just…”
“Hey, no saying bad things about yourself,” Jongin grunted. “You’re beautiful in your own way, Hyung. But really, why didn’t you just tell him that you wanted him to go home?”
“How could I do that? He was…he was happy.”
“Happier than he was with you?”
“…he didn’t exactly say that…”
“He’s happy because he has you, Hyung. Had,” Jongin corrected. He wanted to talk some more, but Junmyeon’s gloomy face was a hint that he should stop there. Being the understanding younger brother he was, Jongin got up and pulled Junmyeon by the arm into a standing position. “Come on, Hyung. I’m starving.”
Junmyeon feebly smiled. “Take-away or dine-in?”
Jongin rolled his eyes. "The answer is obvious."
***
They were passing by an electronic store with the televisions on display.
It broadcasted a live fashion show from one of the foreign countries.
Jongin slowed his steps down as his eyes caught something interesting in the running text and automatically grasped Junmyeon’s arm to prevent him from moving forward.
“Hyung, isn’t Yifan-hyung modeling in this show?”
Junmyeon followed Jongin’s line of sight. He saw the name of the management flashing on the television screen and nodded. It really was the company Yifan was under contract in.
Junmyeon longingly stared at the screen for a moment before looking away. It was over. Yifan would be famous in the modeling world, while Junmyeon would never be anything like him. Months after then, he wouldn’t be surprised if he heard Yifan dating his fellow model. It was how it was supposed to be.
The fair-skinned male tried to fight the tears away.
Because he had decided that he would never look back…
And that it was time for him to move on.
“He is. Come on, Jongin, let’s go...”
“Hey,” Jongin said to no one in particular after a long time, ignoring the fact that his brother had long left. “There is no Yifan here.”
End.
Junmyeon decided to go home to Yifan’s apartment that night.
Yifan wouldn’t be home in a few more months, so he still had the time to pack and move out.
Junmyeon paused at the front door, holding his breath, half hoping that he would hear movements inside. Negative. The apartment felt empty and it still would be, if it weren’t for him. The male pried off his shoes and heaved loudly as he threw himself onto the couch.
Quiet.
Junmyeon glanced up at the ceiling.
If he thought by breaking up with Yifan would make him feel better, he was wrong. He was so damn wrong.
But Yifan was happy and he was living his dream, so who was Junmyeon to get in the way?
Junmyeon softly broke into a sob and he buried his face in his hands. He felt so lonely. Even when he was with Jongin, the loneliness wouldn’t subside. It just kind of showed that it wasn’t just any other person that he needed to be with.
He needed Yifan.
Junmyeon sobbed. Perhaps he wasn’t ready to be separated with Yifan, both physically and mentally. If only he was able to tell him how he felt… Why couldn’t he be patient and wait for some more? But even if he did, what would he do if Yifan got another contract? And this time it was for years?
The male wiped his tears when his phone made a sound, only to hold his breath upon seeing the name of the sender.
I’m gonna do whatever it takes to make us work, Junmyeon.
Junmyeon’s sob became louder and he was about to reply when the front door swung open, revealing a very handsome Chinese-Canadian male. His eyes went wide at the figure, wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him.
“Yi-Yifan…?”
“And I,” Yifan said, his voice laced with determination. “Am serious about coming home to you.”
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Sometimes you must forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.
[1]
Yifan still regularly called Junmyeon, but it was starting to feel different.
Junmyeon could feel complaints and sadness were starting to occupy his heart, but he still said nothing.
He spent his days working, sleeping, and doing nothing when Yifan wasn’t calling and when Jongin wasn’t there to accompany him.
Junmyeon was at a cafe that day, waiting for Kyungsoo-one of his colleagues-to discuss a new material for the lecturing, when he overheard a couple-who were just a few tables away from him-had an argument.
It looked like they were arguing over silly things. Junmyeon and Yifan had never argued in the first place, simply because he just liked to keep things to himself. And Yifan, well…he wasn’t the nagging kind of person. An argument was something they never had. Junmyeon was a bit lost in sadness when he realized he wanted to hear Yifan’s voice, but he slowly snapped out of it as the couple’s tone increased an octave.
“If I tell you that I don’t want you to go, then you don’t!”
“But-but Wonshik, we’re just friends!”
“I don’t give a damn, Hongbin, I don’t want you to go with him!!”
“But-“
“No buts! No means no!”
The person named Hongbin sounded like he was doing his best not to burst out crying. Junmyeon unconsciously-and just a wee bit curious-stared at the couple from the reflections on the window. Yifan had never said things like that to him before. Did it mean that he was never jealous…? But come to think of it, Junmyeon was never jealous of Yifan’s friends too.
Junmyeon continued to stare at the couple through the reflections. After a few minutes, Wonshik tried to snatch Hongbin’s hand, but the latter slapped the former’s hand away. It made Junmyeon a bit awkward for witnessing it, but then again, it was his fault for staring at the couple in the first place.
“You love me, right…?”
Wonshik sighed in desperation before nodding. “Very much.”
“Then you need to change, Wonshik,” Hongbin said quietly, as if he was afraid his boyfriend would snap again. “I can’t-you can’t do this to me. I swear, they’re all just friends. And I texted you the whole time you even though I was with my friends. So please…”
Junmyeon shifted his gaze somewhere else.
“If you want to be with me, you have to accept me for who I am. Including my friends…”
“Junmyeon-hyung, sorry to keep you waiting!”
Junmyeon looked up at Kyungsoo who showed up with a ragged breath, obviously he had been running. The couple’s conversation was drowned by Kyungsoo’s quite loud apologies for being late and everything. After a few minutes, Junmyeon didn’t hear any argument from the other table anymore. But when he glanced over his shoulder and caught the two kissing, Junmyeon felt kind of glad.
Secretly, he knew that Hongbin was right.
Junmyeon had to accept Yifan for who he really was.
Including his job.
But was it selfish if he didn’t want to?
***
Junmyeon had just stepped out of the shower when he heard his phone’s ringtone.
It was Yifan.
Junmyeon was quite certain that his boyfriend was still at work, and that he was being sneaky by calling him between his breaks. It was already a missed call by the time he grabbed his phone. Junmyeon pondered of calling Yifan back, but his phone rang again the next second. He picked it up without thinking, despite the fact that he wasn’t that eager to speak to his boyfriend.
“Hey, babe.”
Junmyeon pursed his lips. He could tell from Yifan’s voice that the latter was tired, but he still managed to sound happy. “Hi...”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to bed.”
“So soon? Was today tiring? How was work?”
Junmyeon sighed quietly as he sat at the edge of his bed. “Don’t worry about me. What about you? You’ve been using your breaks to make a phone call. Wouldn’t they be angry at you? You should just call when you get back at the hotel-“
“Why would they? I mean, it’s my break, my phone, my boyfriend-“
“Yifan, I’m…I’m just saying that it’s probably better if you don’t call me as often.”
“Oh.”
Junmyeon palmed his face. He didn’t mean to sound harsh. “Look, I’m really tired, okay?”
“Okay. I’m sorry. Can I call you soon? In the morning?”
Junmyeon inaudibly let out a sigh. “Only if you’re free, okay?”
“Yes, Princess. Good night, Junmyeon.”
“…good night.”
“Love you-“
Junmyeon hung up before he got to hear the rest of the sentence.
***
Junmyeon was in the library one Sunday when he overheard a conversation.
The library was the place he went whenever he wanted to clear his mind. By putting a pair of headphones on his ears and with several opened books in front of him, anyone would think that he was reading very seriously. The truth was, he just didn’t want to be disturbed.
“Chanyeol is going away?”
Junmyeon frowned. The voice came from behind him.
“Sshh!! Your voice is too loud, Jongdae!”
“Oh come on, Baekhyun, no one’s around us! Except…that guy with the headphones by the table, but duh, you know what headphones do.”
Junmyeon was a bit amused. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but their voices were quite loud.
“Besides, what’s the chance of someone knows Chanyeol here anyway? It’s just you and me. Baek, I can’t believe you drag me to the library just to talk about this. Isn’t there a better place called diner or something?”
“Jongdae-“
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Let’s talk. So he’s going away, Baek. Aren’t you going to tell him how you feel?”
“Should I?” Baekhyun sounded hesitant and Junmyeon’s heart ached slightly. It sounded painfully similar. “I mean, it’s been Chanyeol’s dream all along…”
“But you’re his boyfriend. You have the right to tell him anything. Are you sure he’s not going to listen to you? Make him reconsider it?”
“I…I don’t know…”
Junmyeon’s eyes unwillingly became teary. He became lost in his own thoughts that Baekhyun and Jongdae’s voices sounded like waves. Junmyeon slowly closed his eyes and mentally kicked himself. Didn’t he come here to clear his mind…? Then why did everything just reminded him of Yifan…?
Junmyeon closed the books before him and took a deep breath.
He should probably go now.
Jongdae and Baekhyun were still talking behind him, their voices dropped an octave when Junmyeon stood up.
Junmyeon was about to pass Baekhyun when the book the latter was holding accidentally slipped out of his grip. He managed to catch it on time and handed it back to Baekhyun, earning a soft gratitude from the other male. When their eyes met, Junmyeon couldn’t help himself and said,
“Don’t let him go.”
Because his biggest mistake was letting Yifan go.
***
Junmyeon smiled when Yifan was requesting a video call instead of a voice call that night. He settled for a comfortable position on his bed before accepting the call.
“Hi, babe!”
Happy tears threatened to fall from his eyes upon seeing Yifan’s smile. He missed the Chinese-Canadian male so damn much, that was for certain. Junmyeon opened his mouth to say those words, but he closed his mouth back before he got the chance because…
…because he didn’t want Yifan to feel burdened.
Yifan looked thinner, but he assured Junmyeon that he ate well. They had been talking for quite a while when all of a sudden, someone came from behind Yifan and Junmyeon’s heart almost stopped working. He didn’t know who it was. But the male was good-looking, too good-looking in fact that Junmyeon felt that he was definitely losing even by physically.
“Yifan?”
Junmyeon instantly backed away from the screen, as if he wanted to hide.
Yifan peered over his shoulder to smile at his companion. “Hey, Minseok.”
“What do you want for dinner?”
Without thinking, Junmyeon disconnected the call.
He had never felt so broken-hearted.
Yifan tried to call him several times after that, but Junmyeon didn’t feel like talking anymore. He told Yifan that the connection was bad, he was sleepy anyway and needed to sleep.
The Chinese male didn’t seem to buy his story, but at least he said ‘next time, then’.
Who was Minseok?
Another model?
A colleague?
A manager?
Junmyeon probably was being irrational, but the image of Yifan laughing with Minseok bothered him. It could probably mean nothing. Since Minseok was asking what Yifan wanted for dinner, they could be roommates. They could be partners. They could be…
…lovers.
The beautiful male sighed in exasperation and tried to close his eyes and sleep.
***
Junmyeon passed by the coffee shop he frequented before going to the university on the next morning. Jaehwan, his high-school friend, was working there. Realizing that there weren’t many people lining to buy a cup of coffee, he immediately entered the place. Junmyeon’s phone vibrated in his pocket and he took it out to see who was calling, but his heart sank upon seeing the name.
Yifan.
Junmyeon visibly bit his lower lip. He stared at his phone like it was a call from an ex-boyfriend before shifting his eyes back to the counter, where he caught the barista’s smile. It was already his turn. Junmyeon smiled apologetically as he stepped forward. He glanced around to look for his friend, but Jaehwan was nowhere in sight.
“Good morning.”
“Morning,” Junmyeon greeted back politely. The barista’s nametag said ‘Taekwoon’. “I’ll have the usual…it’s-”
“Tiramisu with no whip cream and low fat milk to go under the name of Suho,” Taekwoon finished with a grin.
Junmyeon was flabbergasted. “Uh…yeah. Please.”
“Coming right up. Oh, by the way, if you’re looking for Jaehwan, he called-in sick,” Taekwoon explained even without Junmyeon asking. “But I’ll tell him you drop by. If you don’t mind, what’s your relationship with him anyway?”
“Oh. Um…he was my junior in high school.”
“I see. Nothing more?”
Junmyeon blinked rapidly. “…nothing more.”
“Ah, it’s on me,” Taekwoon shook his head when Junmyeon was about to hand him some bills.
“Wh-what?”
“You can pay over dinner,” Taekwoon said with a nonchalant shrug. “Friday night okay?”
Junmyeon froze. He didn’t know if Taekwoon was serious or he was just joking, but he didn’t want to stick around to find out. Junmyeon placed the money on the counter anyway.
“I…I gotta go.”
“Suho, wait-“
Junmyeon dashed outside the coffee shop in a record time, and he made a mental note not going back unless there was Jaehwan inside.
He felt slightly scared.
***
Junmyeon told no one about Taekwoon, not even to Yifan.
He thought of not going to the coffee shop again, but it wasn’t Taekwoon that made him come in the first place, right? It was the coffee-and Jaehwan. Besides, if Taekwoon ever asked him out again, Junmyeon would tell him that he had a boyfriend.
Dammit.
Junmyeon wanted to hear Yifan’s voice.
So he initiated, for the first time, to request a video call to Yifan. If Yifan was at work, he promised it would be quick. Junmyeon just needed
to see his boyfriend’s face, to see his smile, to make him feel all right. Fortunately, Yifan didn’t take long to accept his video call.
“Junmyeon!” Yifan exclaimed happily. “Hi, babe!”
Junmyeon chuckled and he waved his hand. “Yifan, hi. Um, am I bothering you?”
“No, it’s perfect, but I can’t stay long. We’re about to go to a meeting, to discuss the next concept and theme.”
“I see. Don’t forget to eat, Yifan.”
“I won’t forget,” Yifan genuinely smiled. “I’ll be okay.”
“I…”
I miss you.
“Yes?”
Tell him you miss him.
“Nothing, I just…”
“Are you alright?”
Junmyeon’s shoulders flinched. “Me?”
“Yes. Is something wrong?” Yifan’s expression became worried. “Is work being a pain? Is someone bothering you?”
Junmyeon bit his lower lip. Should he tell Yifan…? Even though it would only burden Yifan…? Because they were miles apart…?
Taekwoon…
Was there still hope in their relationship…?
He…
“What is it, Minseok?”
Junmyeon’s expression instantly faltered upon hearing the name being mentioned. Yifan seemed to be talking to Minseok, but he couldn’t hear what the latter said because it was muffled in the background. Junmyeon’s heart was filled with doubts again and it exploded the moment Yifan laughed heartily at something Minseok said.
“Yifan, I…I should sleep.”
“Eh?”
“Besides, you’re going to the meeting soon, so…”
Yifan seemed to notice the sudden change of behavior, but he did nothing to force it out of his bofyriend. “I see. I’ll talk to you soon then?”
“Okay.”
“See you, Junm-“
***
Needless to say, Junmyeon started avoiding Yifan’s calls.
Busy, feeling unwell, needed to rest, misplaced his phone, his battery died, were the constant reasons he told the Chinese male.
Junmyeon wasn’t sure of what to do. The thought of Yifan being with Minseok 24/7 scared him. It made him worry, even though perhaps…perhaps nothing happened between them. If Minseok was also going to the meeting that Yifan spoke of, he was definitely another model. But with them a world apart like this and someone as beautiful as Minseok was beside Yifan… A lot of ‘what ifs’ ran through his mind, but Junmyeon himself didn’t dare to look for an answer. He didn’t want to think that Yifan…was being unfaithful to him, or would turn unfaithful, but…
Minseok was too damn gorgeous.
Well, he was a model. What did he expected?
And if Yifan ever, ever dumped him and dated Minseok, they would make money easily compared to him, who was merely a lecturer assistant at the university, who didn’t make money as much as them. It would be a better reason for them to break-up.
Junmyeon felt like crying at the thought.
It was raining that evening and he didn’t feel like going home just yet. Junmyeon randomly went into the convenient store to restock his stuffs at home and unexpectedly, he ran into Taekwoon.
The last person he wanted to see right then.
“Suho?”
Junmyeon turned his head and his eyes widened in shock upon seeing the barista. “H-hi…”
“Hi,” Taekwoon smiled widely as he walked closer. “What a coincidence meeting you here. Are you alone?”
Junmyeon thought about lying, but then he changed his mind. “Y-yes…you?”
“I’m with a friend. He’s somewhere in the aisle four…”
“Oh,” Junmyeon flatly commented as he took a step backward. “Well, if you’ll excuse me-“
“Suho, wait. Have you thought about the dinner offer?”
Junmyeon’s throat went dry and he took another step backwad. “Taekwoon, I’m-“
“-seeing someone, I know. Jaehwan told me you guys were in a long-distance relationship.”
Junmyeon frowned disapprovingly. “And if you knew, why-“
“It’s just a dinner. Just one dinner, and that’s all I ask.” Taekwoon’s face glinted with hope. “Please…?”
Junmyeon swallowed thickly.
Yifan.
“You left me with no answer once,” Taekwoon softly continued. “Just give me the answer, and I’ll give up. Or better yet, give me a chance and let me prove it to you.”
Junmyeon’s chest hurt. He clutched his chest with a hand, and he was doubtful. Junmyeon looked at Taekwoon’s face for a few moments before sighing.
He would probably regret his decision later.
***
In the end, Junmyeon declined the invitation, but he couldn’t lie to himself that he was thinking of saying yes.
It had been months since Yifan left for his modeling, and Junmyeon felt a bit lonely. Although Jongin or Kyungsoo would be there for him if he asked them to, he wanted it to be someone who was more than his friend.
His boyfriend.
Junmyeon kind of wished Yifan was working as a barista instead of a runway model. That way, they could be together 24/7 and he wouldn’t have to feel this way.
The rain had stopped that night a few minutes after he got home. The fair-skinned male cradled his phone in his hand after sending a text to Yifan.
Skype when you’re free?
Yifan only took five minutes to reply,
Sure thing, babe. In a minute.
Junmyeon sat patiently in front of his laptop. His feelings were a mess, but he didn’t intend to show Yifan that. However, the first thing he blurted out of his mouth when Yifan called was,
“When are you coming home?”
Yifan looked at him before inhaling deeply. “Couple of months, max. The jobs just keep on coming, but the paycheck is great, too. We can afford a bigger apartment when I get back.”
“I don't want a bigger apartment. This one is enough, Yifan…”
“How about a car, then? Why don’t you try browsing for the models you like and then tell me which one you want?”
“I don’t have a license…besides, what good of a car if you’re not around to drive it for me…” Junmyeon dropped his gaze to his lap, wondering if he should tell Yifan about Taekwoon. He had to, hadn’t he? “Yifan…”
“Yes, babe?”
Taekwoon…
“Are you happy…? With everything…?”
He reminds me of you.
Yifan tilted his head to one side, slightly frowning at the question. “What kind of question is that? Of course I’m happy.”
Your stubbornness…
“Junmyeon?”
“Yes?”
“Are you happy?”
Junmyeon blinked. He straightened a bit in his seat. You mean with us separating like this? No. Hell no. With you over there with gorgeous models and beautiful people? No.
No.
No.
No!!!
But what good would it be if he told Yifan the truth now? It would be impossible for Yifan to go home and terminate his contract with the company. Perhaps it wasn’t a good time to be honest. It would be easier to just lie for now.
Junmyeon bloomed into a bitter smile.
“Of course, Yifan…”
***
Junmyeon sat all by himself in the coffee shop.
It was a bit late, but Junmyeon didn’t really want to go home just yet. The coffee shop was still crowded, and it was kind of nice to be surrounded by that kind of atmosphere.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Junmyeon looked up at Taekwoon. Despite everything that happened, the barista was still kind to him and Junmyeon appreciated it. Not everyone who got rejected would be able to stay the same. Something was different, though. This time, he didn’t really push Taekwoon away.
The blond-haired male offered a small smile, which Junmyeon slowly returned. Junmyeon did nothing when Taekwoon occupied the empty seat in front of him. He felt pretty lonely and he could use some company.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Junmyeon glanced over his shoulder. “Are you sure it’s okay for you to be here? You need to work, right?”
“Jaehwan said he’d cut me some slack as long as I cover for his shift tomorrow,” Taekwoon said with a grin and his attention was divided momentarily because his phone was ringing. The male looked at the screen and he grimaced upon acknowledging who it was. Taekwoon chose not to pick it up.
Junmyeon frowned slightly, but he didn’t probe further.
Taekwoon placed the phone on the table and he looked like he was about to continue talking. But before he managed to do anything, his phone rang again.
Junmyeon caught a glimpse of the picture of the caller on the screen. Haekyeon…? It was a bit blur, but he could tell that the caller was good-looking.
Taekwoon seemed to ponder whether to pick it up or not. But it was obvious in his orbs that they were sparkling. Junmyeon immediately knew that Taekwoon’s real feelings were for that person, and not him. The phone vibrated again and Junmyeon took the opportunity to grab his jacket and stood up. The other male looked up with confusion plastered all over his face and he earned a dismissive wave of hand in response.
“Pick it up. I know you want to.”
“Suho, wait.”
Junmyeon paused to look at him.
“I’m sorry…”
Junmyeon’s eyes softened. “What are you sorry about? I have a boyfriend, Taekwoon. And obviously,” he motioned to the phone in
Taekwoon’s hand. “He’s the one for you.”
With that, Junmyeon bade him goodbye and walked out of the place.
***
Junmyeon felt relieved.
He was glad that he didn’t give in to the temptation.
Taekwoon might be near, but Yifan was still the one for him.
Junmyeon stole a glance at his watch. He wanted to hear Yifan’s voice so badly, even just for a minute. He knew that he would bother the Chinese male by calling right now, because if he wasn’t mistaken, Yifan was modeling in some runway. But even if his boyfriend didn’t pick up the call, Junmyeon decided to just leave a voice-mail.
Fortunately, someone picked up on the second ring.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t Yifan.
“Hello?”
Junmyeon was stunned. He had only heard the voice for a couple times and it wasn’t really clear, but Junmyeon was certain it was Minseok.
The name felt like a ticking bomb to his heart.
“Hello? Who is this?”
“Yifan,” Junmyeon’s voice cracked slightly. “Is Yifan there?”
“Yeah. He’s about to get out to the stage though. I’ll take your message for him-oh, there he is.”
There were some noises before Yifan’s voice floated through the phone. “Babe?”
Junmyeon shut his eyes. This wasn’t what he planned. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Junmyeon felt like ranting. Why was Yifan’s phone with Minseok?
“Hi… Do I catch you at a bad time?”
“Kind of. I’ll be out in a few minutes. Can I call you later when I’m done? Minseok will hold my phone, so you don’t have to worry.”
“Minseok will…? Isn’t he going with you?”
“Ah, no. He doesn’t take the offer this time. He just accompanies me.”
Junmyeon’s heart bubbled with a lot of jealousy and he didn’t know what went to him when he blurted out all of a sudden,
“Yifan, I’m breaking up with you.”
“What?”
“I’m breaking up with you,” Junmyeon cried in distress. “It’s over.”
“Junmyeon-“
Click.
***
Days went by and not a single day Yifan hadn’t tried to call him.
But Junmyeon refused to pick up.
He knew he was being unfair on the Chinese male. Yifan probably understood nothing and it was a one-sided break-up. His boyf…his ex-boyfriend deserved an explanation. Yifan deserved to know what had been happening.
So Junmyeon did.
It was hard for Junmyeon to speak out his thoughts because he would just cry when he did, so he wrote them down in email. It was one long-assed email, and he wasn’t sure if Yifan would spend ten minutes and read about his complaints, his whining, and his feelings about everything. About how he didn’t want Yifan to model in the first place. About how jealous he was towards Minseok, and how he almost agreed to have dinner with Taekwoon.
Junmyeon ended it up with writing,
I’m sorry I couldn’t be the one you go home to.
But I love you.
And it will never change.
“Is it okay if you stay here?”
Junmyeon lifted up his chin to look up at Jongin. He had been crashing Jongin’s apartment ever since the day he broke up with Yifan. Jongin’s apartment was smaller, anyway. It was going to be temporary, just until Junmyeon found a new place to live.
“Why wouldn’t it be okay?”
“What if Yifan-hyung suddenly comes home and you’re not there?”
Junmyeon directed his gaze someplace else. “It’s okay.” He hoped it ended there, but he knew Jongin demanded some sort of explanation, so after encouraging himself, Junmyeon dared himself to speak. “We broke up.”
Jongin threw himself to the empty spot beside Junmyeon with a loud sigh and wrapped an arm around his older brother’s shoulder. “I kind of figured. Big fight?”
Junmyeon drew his knees to his chest and shook his head. “Sooner or later, it will happen, I guess. It’s obvious that we’re not meant to be. He’s living in a world of models while me… I’m just…”
“Hey, no saying bad things about yourself,” Jongin grunted. “You’re beautiful in your own way, Hyung. But really, why didn’t you just tell him that you wanted him to go home?”
“How could I do that? He was…he was happy.”
“Happier than he was with you?”
“…he didn’t exactly say that…”
“He’s happy because he has you, Hyung. Had,” Jongin corrected. He wanted to talk some more, but Junmyeon’s gloomy face was a hint that he should stop there. Being the understanding younger brother he was, Jongin got up and pulled Junmyeon by the arm into a standing position. “Come on, Hyung. I’m starving.”
Junmyeon feebly smiled. “Take-away or dine-in?”
Jongin rolled his eyes. "The answer is obvious."
***
They were passing by an electronic store with the televisions on display.
It broadcasted a live fashion show from one of the foreign countries.
Jongin slowed his steps down as his eyes caught something interesting in the running text and automatically grasped Junmyeon’s arm to prevent him from moving forward.
“Hyung, isn’t Yifan-hyung modeling in this show?”
Junmyeon followed Jongin’s line of sight. He saw the name of the management flashing on the television screen and nodded. It really was the company Yifan was under contract in.
Junmyeon longingly stared at the screen for a moment before looking away. It was over. Yifan would be famous in the modeling world, while Junmyeon would never be anything like him. Months after then, he wouldn’t be surprised if he heard Yifan dating his fellow model. It was how it was supposed to be.
The fair-skinned male tried to fight the tears away.
Because he had decided that he would never look back…
And that it was time for him to move on.
“He is. Come on, Jongin, let’s go...”
“Hey,” Jongin said to no one in particular after a long time, ignoring the fact that his brother had long left. “There is no Yifan here.”
End.
Junmyeon decided to go home to Yifan’s apartment that night.
Yifan wouldn’t be home in a few more months, so he still had the time to pack and move out.
Junmyeon paused at the front door, holding his breath, half hoping that he would hear movements inside. Negative. The apartment felt empty and it still would be, if it weren’t for him. The male pried off his shoes and heaved loudly as he threw himself onto the couch.
Quiet.
Junmyeon glanced up at the ceiling.
If he thought by breaking up with Yifan would make him feel better, he was wrong. He was so damn wrong.
But Yifan was happy and he was living his dream, so who was Junmyeon to get in the way?
Junmyeon softly broke into a sob and he buried his face in his hands. He felt so lonely. Even when he was with Jongin, the loneliness wouldn’t subside. It just kind of showed that it wasn’t just any other person that he needed to be with.
He needed Yifan.
Junmyeon sobbed. Perhaps he wasn’t ready to be separated with Yifan, both physically and mentally. If only he was able to tell him how he felt… Why couldn’t he be patient and wait for some more? But even if he did, what would he do if Yifan got another contract? And this time it was for years?
The male wiped his tears when his phone made a sound, only to hold his breath upon seeing the name of the sender.
I’m gonna do whatever it takes to make us work, Junmyeon.
Junmyeon’s sob became louder and he was about to reply when the front door swung open, revealing a very handsome Chinese-Canadian male. His eyes went wide at the figure, wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him.
“Yi-Yifan…?”
“And I,” Yifan said, his voice laced with determination. “Am serious about coming home to you.”