Entangled [2/2]
Title: Entangled [2/2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Everyone has that person they fall for but isn’t mean to be with. For Yifan, that person is Junmyeon.
[1]
When Sehun told Yifan that he was going to pick Junmyeon and drove him to the reunion, Yifan realized that there was no turning back.
Sehun offered him a ride, but Yifan didn’t know how to handle the awkwardness (and probably the jealousy) so he politely declined and decided to just go there by taxi.
Hours later, he was there at the said place.
Some of his classmates immediately ran to him the minute he arrived, giving him a tight hug, and they all commented how Yifan didn’t change being a giant. And for the first time in forever, Yifan laughed earnestly because yeah, it was probably the only thing that didn’t change.
Yifan knew Sehun had asked him to ‘keep an eye on Junmyeon’, but it was kind of impossible with the amount of people in the room. He was bombarded with questions like ‘where the hell have you been all this time’ while Junmyeon was on the other side of the room, surrounded by his friends.
They were only meters apart, but Yifan’s heart ached badly for not being able to stand close to Junmyeon. Nonetheless, his line of sight would always go back to Junmyeon, to make sure that the latter was all right. Not a single minute went by that he didn’t look at the beautiful brown-haired male. To be honest, Yifan loved Junmyeon’s red hair more, but the shorter male was even more beautiful with brown hair.
Why did I never have the courage to talk to you…?
Yifan’s shoulders sagged in hopelessness.
What did his brother say the other day when he asked him how they ended up together? They talked? Yifan couldn’t help but think that it was a mockery, although perhaps unintentionally. Was that supposed to mean that had Yifan talked to Junmyeon, things could’ve been different? If only Yifan had a tiny percent of courage…
Yifan sighed loudly to anyone who could hear, but fortunately the live music drowned his voice. He lazily stared at the stage, at the band that was performing. They weren’t bad, but Yifan just didn’t feel like staying anymore. He tried to shrug it off by grabbing the nearest drink.
It was his reunion. He should have fun tonight.
But how could he, when the only person he loved was in love with his own brother…?
***
Yifan crawled out of the room with the intention of getting some fresh air.
After wandering around and meeting their friends, Chanyeol just had to decide to accompany Yifan. The tall male laughed too much beside him-dammit, his friend’s laugh was somewhat like hyena when he was drunk, how did they become friends again?-and Yifan thought it was really the time for him to go. After shoving Chanyeol with all his might and dropped his friend to the closest (unfortunate) person-who turned out to be Baekhyun, Yifan absentmindedly waved goodbye at everyone.
Which was probably a mistake.
Because the moment he stepped outside, Junmyeon was there.
Yifan froze in his tracks. The door closed softly behind him, but Junmyeon didn’t seem to hear it.
He was damned. If he took a step forward, Junmyeon would surely realize his presence. If he crawled back into the room, Junmyeon would definitely hear him. Dammit! Yifan felt like pulling his hair in frustration but then he frowned to himself.
So what if Junmyeon realizes your presence...?
Yifan dropped his gaze.
Yeah…so what, Wu Yifan?
Yifan was determined to just act cool and walk past the beautiful male when all of a sudden, the door behind him swung open and a very drunk Chanyeol let out his hyena laugh.
“YIFAN!! YOUR HOME IS THIS WAY!! YOU’RE NOT GOING THAT-UMPPHH-“
“Don’t mind us, Yifan!” Baekhyun shouted and slammed the door back.
It was more than enough sound to make Junmyeon peer over his shoulder, and Yifan didn’t know which one he wanted to do more-punching Chanyeol in the face or just ignore Junmyeon like nothing happened.
Yifan almost dropped his glance to pretend like he didn’t care about Junmyeon, but then something caught his eyes and it got Yifan to look straight at the latter.
Beautiful, would be the decent word Yifan thought the moment their eyes met, if only it wasn’t because of the tears on Junmyeon’s cheeks.
Tears.
Junmyeon was crying.
Yifan’s eyes widened in surprise and without thinking, he shuffled forward to Junmyeon’s side and grabbed the latter’s wrist.
“Hey. Junmyeon, are you all right...?”
Junmyeon merely lifted up his chin and stared at Yifan, not responding anything. His expression was unreadable, but within his orbs, there were emotions. The emotions were so deep that Yifan could feel his chest tightening and somewhere in his brain, there were words automatically forming,
Don’t cry, Junmyeon.
Yifan could hear the horrible laugh of Chanyeol along with the others behind the door, but strangely, it didn’t affect him this time. Junmyeon’s wrist felt so small and fragile around his fingers. Yifan held his breath when Junmyeon’s lips were beginning to tremble, and the taller of the two earned a slight head shake, as if to say that no, he wasn’t all right.
“I-“
The alcohol must have gotten to him because Yifan couldn’t think of any other way to calm Junmyeon but to kiss him.
Yifan almost died at how soft Junmyeon’s lips were.
Junmyeon didn’t push him away, but he didn’t kiss back either.
After several moments that felt like forever, some kind of common sense kicked Yifan and he pulled away almost abruptly. Their lips were only inchest apart, and if Yifan was out of his mind, he would’ve kissed Junmyeon again. Fortunately he was still able to hold himself from doing it. Yifan opened his mouth to ask if Junmyeon had calmed down, but the beautiful male got to him first.
“Are you drunk...?”
Yifan visibly stiffened.
But…
He wasn’t, was he?
“Yifan...?”
Junmyeon’s voice was so soft in his ear.
Yifan contemplated to spill out everything right then. He wanted to tell him everything about his feelings since high school and how it didn’t change throughout all these years and how he thought of Junmyeon, but then Yifan hesitated.
Are you drunk?
It would be easier to just say yes....right?
“Yifan-hyung?”
A voice snapped them both back to life. Yifan almost took an unnatural giant step backward, trying to run away from Junmyeon, but he managed to shrug it off and craned his neck to the source of the voice. Beside him, Junmyeon didn’t even move.
“Sehun,” Yifan did his best to put on a smile and he wished Sehun wouldn’t notice anything unusual. The distance between him and Junmyeon was quite safe. “You’re here to pick Junmyeon up?”
“You know the answer to that,” Sehun retorted in dismay. The younger male seemed to dislike the fact that Junmyeon stood pretty close to Yifan and pulled Junmyeon closer to him. “Is the reunion over?”
Junmyeon shook his head. “Not yet…“
“Then why are you guys outside?” Sehun eyed Yifan suspiciously. “Never mind that. Come on, I’ll take you home, Junmyeon-hyung.”
“See you,” Yifan said, although he himself was unsure for whom he said that.
Sehun shot him a weird look, but he nodded anyway. “I’ll see you at home, Hyung.” With that, Sehun took Junmyeon’s hand in his and started walking away.
Junmyeon glanced at Yifan from the corner of his eye as he followed Sehun. The beautiful male said nothing to him even when Yifan waved a hand. Not even a smile. Both Sehun and Junmyeon disappeared soon from his peripheral vision and a loud sigh escaped Yifan’s lips.
Yifan smacked his forehead with the back of his hand.
“What the hell was I thinking…?”
He just kissed his brother’s boyfriend.
***
Yifan half expected Sehun to throw something at him the moment he walked into the apartment, but his brother did nothing instead. Sehun only nodded at him before focusing his gaze back on some kind of dance competition on the television.
The older of the two said goodnight and quickly went to his room.
On the next morning, Sehun still acted like nothing was wrong, so Yifan assumed that Junmyeon didn’t tell him. Or he just hadn’t told him…yet. Nonetheless, when Sehun left the apartment for work, Yifan immediately called Chanyeol, the only person he could think of right now.
He just wished Chanyeol had recovered from his hangover. As soon as his best friend picked up, Yifan spoke without preamble.
“I’m doomed.”
“Ugh. My head. Don’t speak too loud. Why?”
“Because-because I kissed Junmyeon and it’s just a matter of time until he tells Sehun and before that happens, I should go.”
Yifan’s words seemed to make Chanyeol sober. “Wait, when did it happen?”
“Last night. I kissed him at the reunion, okay? It was a mistake. I went outside and then there he was, all alone-“
“Relax, dude. I was about to say good timing. Last night we all had too much drink. You can just tell him you were drunk.”
“And pretend that nothing happened? Chanyeol, I can’t do that. If I stay here, I will only hurt him and Sehun and I don’t want that to happen.”
“Hey,” Chanyeol grunted. “When will you admit that you’re the most hurt one in this party?”
“Huh?”
“If anyone is hurt, it’s you. Yifan, listen, I know how much you like Junmyeon. Let’s just face the fact. You’ve been in love with him since high school. High school! And it’s already been ten years and you’re still as dumb as fuck.”
“What…” Yifan trailed off. “What are you suggesting?”
“Go confess your heart out to Junmyeon.”
“What-“
“Just tell him how you feel.”
“Are you insane? I can’t do that-“
“Why not??”
“Because-“ Yifan paused only to hear someone was ringing the doorbell. “Look, I gotta go. But there’s no way I would do that. Talk to you later, Chanyeol.” He ignored Chanyeol calling out his name, saying something along the lines of ‘this isn’t over yet’ and ended the call. Yifan threw his cellphone onto the couch and dashed to the door. “Coming…”
Yifan’s throat went dry at the view.
Junmyeon was standing in front of him. He smiled when Yifan opened the door. “Hey.”
“H-hey, Junmyeon…” Yifan’s heartbeat quickened upon seeing the beautiful male. “Um. Sehun’s not home right now…”
“I know.”
“You-you know?” Yifan was so lost of what to retort at that, that he only managed to blurt out, “Then why are you here?”
Junmyeon looked slightly hurt. “I’m sorry if you don’t want me here…”
“Wait, that’s not it. I just…” Yifan sighed in exasperation. “I don’t know. I’m sorry. Do you want to come in?”
Junmyeon didn’t respond to his question. The male simply pressed his lips together and Yifan thought it was a really cute view. “Yifan… When are you going home?”
“I’m going home next Saturday.”
“Next week?”
“Yeah. Next week…”
Yifan would’ve never thought that he would see Junmyeon blooming into a sincere smile just by hearing such simple words.
“Then we still have another week…”
“Yeah? I guess…”
Junmyeon tilted his head to one side, pondering. He seemed to be choosing his words carefully before speaking. “We’ve…never really talked in high school, right?”
Yifan was starting to get confused with all of Junmyeon’s questions. And how many times have he answered ‘yeah’? “Yeah…?”
“Do you mind if we start talking now?”
Yifan’s heart almost came to a stop.
***
Yifan did his best to maintain a safe distance from Junmyeon. Well, there were a lot of reasons for that, but the main one was Sehun, of course. Junmyeon didn’t mean harm and his intention was sincere, but the problem lied in Yifan. If this kept on happening…he would never be able to let go.
But when he realized Junmyeon was serious about them starting to talk, his resolve began to waver.
Because this was Junmyeon he was thinking about.
The one he cared about.
The one who always appeared in his dreams whether he liked it or not.
The love of his life.
And Yifan was definitely lying if he said he didn’t want to talk to Junmyeon.
Besides…he would go back to China soon. It could be the last time he ever saw Junmyeon, or even talked to him. The thought made him smile bitterly because if, just if, Sehun ever proposed to Junmyeon…
…then his life was over.
“Yifan?”
Yifan was pulled out of his reveries and he turned to look at Junmyeon. “Yes?”
“You’ve been spacing out. What’s on your mind?”
Yifan flicked his cigarette slightly, causing the ash to drop to the ground. “Some things.”
Junmyeon was a few steps away from him because he was smoking, but nonetheless, it felt nice to have him close. The brown-haired male had his eyes on Yifan, but it could be just the latter’s imagination. “I never knew you smoke…”
Yifan merely smiled. Clearly there are a lot of things that you don’t know about me.
“Sehun doesn’t, so…”
“Ah,” Yifan nodded as he took another drag. “He’s always been everyone’s sweetheart.”
“That’s not what I-“ Junmyeon stopped talking abruptly. When Yifan didn’t respond at all, he continued, “Why did you go to China?”
Yifan shrugged. It crossed his mind to lie to Junmyeon, but what was the point anymore…?
“To escape things.”
Junmyeon pursed his lips. “Did it work?”
The taller of the two exhaled loudly as he threw the rest of his cigarette into the trash bin. Yifan opened his mouth then closed it back, wondering of what to say. Just as he did, Junmyeon’s phone rang and the beautiful male took it out of his pocket. Junmyeon said nothing, but his expression made it obvious who was calling.
“You should pick it up,” Yifan said encouragingly.
Junmyeon nodded. He then walked farther from Yifan as he picked up the call. When he was finally done, Yifan took the chance to speak before Junmyeon got to say anything.
“Yifan-“
“You’re gonna be happy with Sehun.”
Junmyeon looked stunned.
“He’s better than-“ Yifan cleared his throat because he almost said me. “-anyone I know. My parents have always been prouder of him. He doesn’t smoke. He never got bad grades. He’s studying to be a doctor. He’s…everything you’ve ever wanted.”
Junmyeon dropped his gaze.
How’s that for a talk?
Yifan, you idiot.
Yifan glanced up at the sky. It was getting dark, and the weather forecast said it could rain tonight.
“Come on, Junmyeon, I’ll walk you home...”
***
Yifan hadn’t seen Junmyeon ever since.
His flight to China was just a few days away, but he hadn’t even packed. Not that he had much to pack anyway. Yifan spent the rest of his day at home, sleeping and resting. He was not really in the mood to go anywhere.
Sehun was busy talking on the phone that morning when Yifan stepped out of his room. He didn’t really pay attention to what his brother was saying, but when Sehun said I love you in Chinese, it got Yifan to pause.
Does Junmyeon speak Mandarin?
“Morning,” Sehun greeted brightly as he placed his cellphone into his pocket. “That reminds me, when are you going back, Hyung?”
“The day after tomorrow.”
“The day after…that soon?” Sehun frowned disapprovingly. “Why don’t you ask Junmyeon-hyung to go with you before you go back?”
Yifan narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean by that?”
“Well, unless you know exactly when you’re going back here again, I suggest you bid him farewell. For the time being, I mean. Junmyeon-hyung seems to like your company for the past few days. And nothing makes me happier than knowing that you guys are well.”
Right...
Because he’s your boyfriend and I’m your brother.
“I’ll be spending the night in the hospital, anyway.” Sehun glanced at the clock and he gasped. “I’m gonna be late if I don’t go now. See you later, Hyung.”
Yifan only bade his brother goodbye in return.
***
Yifan hated to admit it, but Sehun was right.
He was helplessly in love with Junmyeon, but if Junmyeon was meant to be with Sehun, then there was nothing he could do about it. As long as Sehun treated him right, and Junmyeon was happy…who was Yifan to stand between them? And if what Sehun said was true, about Junmyeon liking his company for the past few days…
…then Yifan would want to make a happy ending about it.
The least he could do was to say goodbye.
It was foolish of him to make the same mistake twice. Yifan was more annoyed than happy to admit that Chanyeol had been right all along. Although Junmyeon was dating his brother, he got the chance to talk to the beautiful male-which was something that wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t gone home.
Yifan took a deep breath before knocking softly on the door. He instinctively held his breath when he heard footsteps coming closer to the door, and the butterflies in his stomach just made it worse.
Junmyeon peeked carefully when the door swung open and a pleased smile was etched across his face. “Yifan…?”
Yifan smiled back as he lifted up his hand, showing what he brought with him. “Hi. Beer…?”
Junmyeon chuckled in amusement as he opened the door. “Come in, then.”
Yifan nervously stepped inside. It was his first time in Junmyeon’s apartment, after all. He must’ve been amazed by the decorations when Junmyeon playfully pushed his back, as if to tell him to move forward. Yifan smiled apologetically as he followed Junmyeon closely from behind. Admiration bubbled within him, because Yifan knew Junmyeon was rich, but the latter wasn’t the type to show off. His apartment was nicely decorated, but not too much.
They sat together in the living room. The television was on, it seemed like Junmyeon was in the middle of watching a drama when he came. The couch was comfortable, but the distance between them made it the opposite. Junmyeon was at the end of the couch with his knees drawn to his chest, while Yifan was at the other end. If anyone saw the condition, they probably assumed Yifan and Junmyeon were currently having lover’s problem and they refused to talk to each other.
Lovers.
Yifan inwardly shook himself from the thought. He placed the can of beers on the table, snatched one for himself and gave one to Junmyeon.
Junmyeon thanked him with a smile, which made Yifan look away because his heart was thumping loudly. “You’re going back soon, right?”
It must’ve been Yifan’s imagination when he thought he heard a hint of hope laced underneath Junmyeon’s tone. Yifan shook his can of beer slightly before looking back at the petite male beside him. “I’m not sure.”
Junmyeon pouted. “Do you really like China better than here?”
Yifan raised his brows, pretended to be hurt. “You’re one to talk. Don’t you speak Mandarin?”
Junmyeon frowned in confusion. “Huh? I don’t.”
“Eh?” Yifan was dumbfounded. His mind flashed back to the morning event when Sehun spoke in Mandarin to the other person on the phone. “Not even the…common phrases? Like, good morning…good night…”
Or I love you?
Junmyeon looked slightly amused as he leaned his back against the cushion. “No…not at all. Maybe you can teach me?”
Yifan pretended to think. “It’s gonna cost you a lot.”
Junmyeon laughed heartily. “It doesn’t matter as long as you stay…”
The other male’s words got Yifan to stun and Junmyeon’s expression turned to horror immediately.
“I’m-I’m sorry,” Junmyeon stuttered and his cheeks reddened from embarrassment. “It-it must be the alcohol talking…”
Yifan’s mouth went dry because even in such condition, Junmyeon was still beautiful-no, scratch that, he was the most beautiful creature Yifan had ever laid his eyes on. The feeling didn’t-again, no, his feeling never changed. Yifan’s hands trembled as he braved himself to shift closer to Junmyeon, closing the distance between them. He prepared himself for rejection-just in case Junmyeon pushed him away, but no.
Junmyeon stared right into Yifan’s eyes instead.
“I like it,” Yifan said quietly. “Let the alcohol takes over, then.”
Junmyeon parted his lips and Yifan did a great job to hold back his desire. “Yifan…?”
“Do you…want me to stay?” Yifan lifted up his hand, making its way to Junmyeon’s hair. The beautiful male’s eyes fluttered when Yifan ran his fingers on the soft locks, feeling extremely calm with the simple touch. “Junmyeon…what if I tell you I wasn’t drunk that night?”
Junmyeon looked confused for a moment before realization dawned upon him. “Oh.”
“Will you hate me?”
Junmyeon then smiled beautifully at him, so beautiful that it almost made Yifan’s heart stop.
“Will you kiss me again, then…?”
***
Yifan was out of his mind.
But he would never regret it.
Yifan was overwhelmed with indescribable feelings when Junmyeon gently returned the kiss. Let it be the alcohol, let it be anything else, Yifan didn’t care, because Junmyeon was his for the night. When Yifan aimed for Junmyeon’s exposed neck and the latter smelled godly good, there was a selfish feeling of not wanting him to be touched by anyone else.
Not by his own brother.
His.
Yifan was supposed to feel content.
He was supposed to feel content just by exchanging sweet kisses and to be able to hold Junmyeon close in his arms. Who knew when he would be back to Korea? The tall male could just live the rest of his life in China, unmarried, because his heart belonged to Junmyeon.
But when Junmyeon shivered slightly and murmured Yifan’s name against his hair while the latter was kissing his neck, Yifan completely lost himself.
Yifan didn’t know if it was alcohol anymore. It could be his inner self, who had been craving for Junmyeon all these years. Deep down, Yifan realized it could be just this one time for him to be able to touch Junmyeon. So he took his time, as painful as it was, to savor the taste of Junmyeon’s smooth skin against his lips.
Junmyeon wasn’t being vocal, but his breathless state showed that he didn’t hate it. It was funny how Yifan had a feeling that Junmyeon kept on searching for his hand, to entwine their fingers, even just for a moment. The gesture was simple, but it made Yifan feel like he was wanted, like he was needed, like Junmyeon was just as madly in love.
When Yifan spread Junmyeon’s legs and peppered light kisses on the flawless skin, he was terrified. He was terrified of the name that would come out from Junmyeon’s lips. It wasn’t alcohol for Yifan, but what if it was for Junmyeon? Junmyeon seemed careful enough not to moan loudly…
Yifan wanted to kick himself for thinking such thing in the middle of their…whatever it was that they were having. It could be one night stand. But Yifan just didn’t want to think of anything at the moment. He focused his thought on the beautiful male underneath him. Yifan carefully inserted his fingers into Junmyeon, to prepare him before inserting the real.
Junmyeon gasped as he winced.
“Yi-Yifan…”
Yifan felt like crying when it was his name instead of anyone else that escaped Junmyeon’s lips. He became emotional for a second before pulling Junmyeon close and clashed their lips together. Junmyeon instinctively wrapped his slender arms around Yifan’s neck, wanting to be even closer if that was possible.
“I love you,” Yifan breathed out against Junmyeon’s lips. “I swear, I love you…”
Junmyeon murmured something back with a fond smile, and Yifan didn’t want to hold back anymore.
Then make love to me, Yifan.
***
It felt like a dream.
It was probably a dream.
Yifan woke up to the most beautiful view he had ever seen.
He thought it was just an illusion, created by his desperate mind. But when Junmyeon stirred slightly, Yifan knew that it was really happening. The taller of the two then leaned forward cautiously to press a kiss on Junmyeon’s forehead. Junmyeon smiled and he let out a hum, but he was still sleeping.
Yifan then went back to Sehun’s apartment before saying goodbye at Junmyeon. He threw one last longing glance at the sleeping male before leaving. His heart was full with his love for Junmyeon. It was so full that he was certain no other person would be able to invade it.
He just wished for Junmyeon’s happiness.
That was all he ever asked.
On his way home, Yifan took his time to think. No matter how happy he was, but what he did was wrong. It was terribly wrong. What had he done…? Junmyeon was Sehun’s boyfriend. Didn’t he go to Junmyeon’s apartment, only intending to say goodbye…?
Yifan was so bothered by what he had done that he ended up going to the hospital instead. If he was being very mean, he would’ve just packed and then left without saying goodbye to anyone. Not even to Sehun, who had the right to deserve the truth…
“Hyung?” Sehun tapped Yifan’s shoulder lightly, eliciting a small gasp from the older male. “What are you doing here? Is something wrong?”
Yifan slowly turned around. He almost didn’t have the strength to look at Sehun anymore. But what he did was horrible, and if the price was to be hated by his own sibling, then be it. Yifan whimpered weakly and suddenly, he just felt like crying.
“I’m… I’m gonna go back today.”
“What?” Sehun looked astonished. “But you said-“
“I love Junmyeon, Sehun.”
Sehun’s expression faltered upon hearing that. Yifan instantly regretted saying it and guilt was building up inside, but there was no pretending anymore. Sehun needed to know.
“I love him. I’m in love with him, I’ve always been. And I’m sorry.”
Yifan shut his eyes as he gritted his teeth, just in case a fist landed in his face. Not that he minded. He deserved it, though.
“And then?”
Yifan carefully cracked his eyes open, almost fearfully, and was a bit dumbfounded when Sehun didn’t seem angry at all. Instead, his brother’s eyes glinted with curiosity. “Huh?”
“Did you tell him you love him?”
Yifan blinked dumbly. “I…I did.”
“What was his reaction?”
“Whoa,” Yifan took a step backward as he sent Sehun a flabbergast look. “Instead of asking me that, you should’ve punched me. I-I’m in love with your boyfriend, Sehun-“
“Yes, I should’ve punched you, but only because it takes you forever to admit it.”
Yifan’s jaw dropped. “What…?”
“Hyung,” Sehun said sternly. “We’re not together. Junmyeon-hyung’s not my boyfriend. He never was.”
It took Yifan several moments to put the pieces together and his eyes widened in shock. “Wh-what??”
Sehun sighed and his eyes became distant as he recalled. “Do you remember when you asked me how did we end up together?”
Yifan nodded dumbly. Dumb was the only logical expression at the moment. “Yeah…? You said-you said you talked.”
“We did. Well, more like Junmyeon-hyung talked to me. He said he had been wanting to meet you but he had always thought you hated him, because you two had never talked. And after all these years, he never knew you have a brother,” Sehun explained. “But our relationship as brothers isn’t exactly the relationship of the year. So I asked for Chanyeol-hyung’s help. And he said it was a great timing since there was the reunion and…” Sehun let out a groan of frustration upon seeing Yifan’s (stupid) expression. “Don’t you understand, it’s all just a set-up, Hyung.”
“B-but…if what you say is true, then that night on the reunion-“
“Junmyeon-hyung called me that night, saying that he just wanted to go home. I didn’t ask, but I guess I know why. It was his birthday, but you probably didn’t remember.” Sehun sent Yifan a suspicious look. “Did you even know?”
Yifan’s expression changed drastically and he smacked his own forehead so loud, it made Sehun cringe. “Shit.”
Sehun looked over his shoulder when a fellow intern called out his name. “Yes, I’m coming. Look, Hyung, I gotta go. But please, whether you stay or you leave, just please, let him know how you feel. Any idiot would be able to tell how you feel, Hyung. It’s just so obvious.”
His brother then left with a dismissive wave of hand.
Yifan was standing all alone for a few more minutes. It was still a shock to Yifan after knowing that Junmyeon didn’t date Sehun, but he
wasn’t given much time to think because the next second, his phone was ringing.
Yifan stared at the screen blankly before picking up. It was his colleague. Something told him that it was about his job-the worst case scenario was that the boss probably wanted him to go back sooner.
“Hey, Henry, what’s up?”
***
Junmyeon leaned on the doorway with a blank stare.
When he woke up this morning, he could tell immediately that Yifan had left. Junmyeon kind of expected that, but still, it hurt when it really happened. The male let out a deep sigh and told himself not to cry.
His memories with Yifan would never fade, he was certain of that.
Junmyeon was about to walk back into the bedroom, preferably to rest, but then he realized the door to the balcony was open. He frowned as he tried to recall the night before. Was it left opened? Did he forget to close it? An ugly thought like what if someone had broke in crossed his mind, and Junmyeon became scared. However, it dissipated the moment he found out that Yifan was out in the balcony, smoking.
The brown-haired male breathed in relief.
Yifan didn’t seem to acknowledge his presence, so Junmyeon didn't dare to move. A moment later, the taller of the two shifted his eyes up and smiled upon seeing Junmyeon, beckoning the latter to step outside. Junmyeon smiled back as he walked closer to Yifan, but then halted halfway because the latter was smoking.
“Hey…”
“Hey.”
“I…I thought you’ve left…”
Yifan responded nothing to that but to take another drag of his cigarette. Silence descended upon the two of them, both were occupied with their own thoughts. Junmyeon let the silence lingered for a few more seconds before stepping closer to Yifan, to snatch the cigarette away.
“This isn’t good for your health,” Junmyeon wrinkled his nose in distaste. “Maybe you should stop…”
Something stung Yifan’s eyes and his vision became blurry. Yifan opened his mouth to retort, but then he became hesitant. Junmyeon was looking at him questioningly, seeking for an answer. Yifan looked at Junmyeon’s face and he was more than determined to make things right.
It was now or never.
“If I do,” Yifan held his breath. “Will you live with me forever?”
End.
Yifan went back to China that week, but only to pack for the rest of his belongings. When Henry gave him a call, his colleague was offering a chance for him to work in Korea. Apparently, there was someone named Kim Minseok who asked to be transferred to China branch, but they were going to have to arrange an exchange instead of adding another worker. The only person that came to Henry’s mind was Yifan, since his family was in Korea.
So he said yes.
Which was probably the best decision he had ever made in ten years.
The sound of the alarm clock woke Yifan up abruptly.
He grunted quietly to himself, because it was Saturday and why the heck did he forget to set it off. Yifan was still too lazy to move when suddenly the alarm clock went off. Still with his eyes closed, he could feel the movement beside him, but then the other side of bed became light and instinctively, Yifan extended a hand to reach out.
“Babe. Where are you going?”
Junmyeon hummed. “Nowhere, Yifan. I’m just going to make coffee for us…”
“It’s still too early for that. Get back in here, it’s cold.”
“That’s what blankets are for, Yifan,” Junmyeon chuckled earnestly as he grabbed the nearest shirt to cover his body. “I’m going to the kitchen whether you like it or not.”
“Wait.”
Junmyeon pretended to be annoyed as he stared at Yifan. “What is it?”
“Nothing. Just like I thought.”
Yifan smiled at Junmyeon, his pride was swelling inside.
“You look a hundred times better in my shirt…”
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Everyone has that person they fall for but isn’t mean to be with. For Yifan, that person is Junmyeon.
[1]
When Sehun told Yifan that he was going to pick Junmyeon and drove him to the reunion, Yifan realized that there was no turning back.
Sehun offered him a ride, but Yifan didn’t know how to handle the awkwardness (and probably the jealousy) so he politely declined and decided to just go there by taxi.
Hours later, he was there at the said place.
Some of his classmates immediately ran to him the minute he arrived, giving him a tight hug, and they all commented how Yifan didn’t change being a giant. And for the first time in forever, Yifan laughed earnestly because yeah, it was probably the only thing that didn’t change.
Yifan knew Sehun had asked him to ‘keep an eye on Junmyeon’, but it was kind of impossible with the amount of people in the room. He was bombarded with questions like ‘where the hell have you been all this time’ while Junmyeon was on the other side of the room, surrounded by his friends.
They were only meters apart, but Yifan’s heart ached badly for not being able to stand close to Junmyeon. Nonetheless, his line of sight would always go back to Junmyeon, to make sure that the latter was all right. Not a single minute went by that he didn’t look at the beautiful brown-haired male. To be honest, Yifan loved Junmyeon’s red hair more, but the shorter male was even more beautiful with brown hair.
Why did I never have the courage to talk to you…?
Yifan’s shoulders sagged in hopelessness.
What did his brother say the other day when he asked him how they ended up together? They talked? Yifan couldn’t help but think that it was a mockery, although perhaps unintentionally. Was that supposed to mean that had Yifan talked to Junmyeon, things could’ve been different? If only Yifan had a tiny percent of courage…
Yifan sighed loudly to anyone who could hear, but fortunately the live music drowned his voice. He lazily stared at the stage, at the band that was performing. They weren’t bad, but Yifan just didn’t feel like staying anymore. He tried to shrug it off by grabbing the nearest drink.
It was his reunion. He should have fun tonight.
But how could he, when the only person he loved was in love with his own brother…?
***
Yifan crawled out of the room with the intention of getting some fresh air.
After wandering around and meeting their friends, Chanyeol just had to decide to accompany Yifan. The tall male laughed too much beside him-dammit, his friend’s laugh was somewhat like hyena when he was drunk, how did they become friends again?-and Yifan thought it was really the time for him to go. After shoving Chanyeol with all his might and dropped his friend to the closest (unfortunate) person-who turned out to be Baekhyun, Yifan absentmindedly waved goodbye at everyone.
Which was probably a mistake.
Because the moment he stepped outside, Junmyeon was there.
Yifan froze in his tracks. The door closed softly behind him, but Junmyeon didn’t seem to hear it.
He was damned. If he took a step forward, Junmyeon would surely realize his presence. If he crawled back into the room, Junmyeon would definitely hear him. Dammit! Yifan felt like pulling his hair in frustration but then he frowned to himself.
So what if Junmyeon realizes your presence...?
Yifan dropped his gaze.
Yeah…so what, Wu Yifan?
Yifan was determined to just act cool and walk past the beautiful male when all of a sudden, the door behind him swung open and a very drunk Chanyeol let out his hyena laugh.
“YIFAN!! YOUR HOME IS THIS WAY!! YOU’RE NOT GOING THAT-UMPPHH-“
“Don’t mind us, Yifan!” Baekhyun shouted and slammed the door back.
It was more than enough sound to make Junmyeon peer over his shoulder, and Yifan didn’t know which one he wanted to do more-punching Chanyeol in the face or just ignore Junmyeon like nothing happened.
Yifan almost dropped his glance to pretend like he didn’t care about Junmyeon, but then something caught his eyes and it got Yifan to look straight at the latter.
Beautiful, would be the decent word Yifan thought the moment their eyes met, if only it wasn’t because of the tears on Junmyeon’s cheeks.
Tears.
Junmyeon was crying.
Yifan’s eyes widened in surprise and without thinking, he shuffled forward to Junmyeon’s side and grabbed the latter’s wrist.
“Hey. Junmyeon, are you all right...?”
Junmyeon merely lifted up his chin and stared at Yifan, not responding anything. His expression was unreadable, but within his orbs, there were emotions. The emotions were so deep that Yifan could feel his chest tightening and somewhere in his brain, there were words automatically forming,
Don’t cry, Junmyeon.
Yifan could hear the horrible laugh of Chanyeol along with the others behind the door, but strangely, it didn’t affect him this time. Junmyeon’s wrist felt so small and fragile around his fingers. Yifan held his breath when Junmyeon’s lips were beginning to tremble, and the taller of the two earned a slight head shake, as if to say that no, he wasn’t all right.
“I-“
The alcohol must have gotten to him because Yifan couldn’t think of any other way to calm Junmyeon but to kiss him.
Yifan almost died at how soft Junmyeon’s lips were.
Junmyeon didn’t push him away, but he didn’t kiss back either.
After several moments that felt like forever, some kind of common sense kicked Yifan and he pulled away almost abruptly. Their lips were only inchest apart, and if Yifan was out of his mind, he would’ve kissed Junmyeon again. Fortunately he was still able to hold himself from doing it. Yifan opened his mouth to ask if Junmyeon had calmed down, but the beautiful male got to him first.
“Are you drunk...?”
Yifan visibly stiffened.
But…
He wasn’t, was he?
“Yifan...?”
Junmyeon’s voice was so soft in his ear.
Yifan contemplated to spill out everything right then. He wanted to tell him everything about his feelings since high school and how it didn’t change throughout all these years and how he thought of Junmyeon, but then Yifan hesitated.
Are you drunk?
It would be easier to just say yes....right?
“Yifan-hyung?”
A voice snapped them both back to life. Yifan almost took an unnatural giant step backward, trying to run away from Junmyeon, but he managed to shrug it off and craned his neck to the source of the voice. Beside him, Junmyeon didn’t even move.
“Sehun,” Yifan did his best to put on a smile and he wished Sehun wouldn’t notice anything unusual. The distance between him and Junmyeon was quite safe. “You’re here to pick Junmyeon up?”
“You know the answer to that,” Sehun retorted in dismay. The younger male seemed to dislike the fact that Junmyeon stood pretty close to Yifan and pulled Junmyeon closer to him. “Is the reunion over?”
Junmyeon shook his head. “Not yet…“
“Then why are you guys outside?” Sehun eyed Yifan suspiciously. “Never mind that. Come on, I’ll take you home, Junmyeon-hyung.”
“See you,” Yifan said, although he himself was unsure for whom he said that.
Sehun shot him a weird look, but he nodded anyway. “I’ll see you at home, Hyung.” With that, Sehun took Junmyeon’s hand in his and started walking away.
Junmyeon glanced at Yifan from the corner of his eye as he followed Sehun. The beautiful male said nothing to him even when Yifan waved a hand. Not even a smile. Both Sehun and Junmyeon disappeared soon from his peripheral vision and a loud sigh escaped Yifan’s lips.
Yifan smacked his forehead with the back of his hand.
“What the hell was I thinking…?”
He just kissed his brother’s boyfriend.
***
Yifan half expected Sehun to throw something at him the moment he walked into the apartment, but his brother did nothing instead. Sehun only nodded at him before focusing his gaze back on some kind of dance competition on the television.
The older of the two said goodnight and quickly went to his room.
On the next morning, Sehun still acted like nothing was wrong, so Yifan assumed that Junmyeon didn’t tell him. Or he just hadn’t told him…yet. Nonetheless, when Sehun left the apartment for work, Yifan immediately called Chanyeol, the only person he could think of right now.
He just wished Chanyeol had recovered from his hangover. As soon as his best friend picked up, Yifan spoke without preamble.
“I’m doomed.”
“Ugh. My head. Don’t speak too loud. Why?”
“Because-because I kissed Junmyeon and it’s just a matter of time until he tells Sehun and before that happens, I should go.”
Yifan’s words seemed to make Chanyeol sober. “Wait, when did it happen?”
“Last night. I kissed him at the reunion, okay? It was a mistake. I went outside and then there he was, all alone-“
“Relax, dude. I was about to say good timing. Last night we all had too much drink. You can just tell him you were drunk.”
“And pretend that nothing happened? Chanyeol, I can’t do that. If I stay here, I will only hurt him and Sehun and I don’t want that to happen.”
“Hey,” Chanyeol grunted. “When will you admit that you’re the most hurt one in this party?”
“Huh?”
“If anyone is hurt, it’s you. Yifan, listen, I know how much you like Junmyeon. Let’s just face the fact. You’ve been in love with him since high school. High school! And it’s already been ten years and you’re still as dumb as fuck.”
“What…” Yifan trailed off. “What are you suggesting?”
“Go confess your heart out to Junmyeon.”
“What-“
“Just tell him how you feel.”
“Are you insane? I can’t do that-“
“Why not??”
“Because-“ Yifan paused only to hear someone was ringing the doorbell. “Look, I gotta go. But there’s no way I would do that. Talk to you later, Chanyeol.” He ignored Chanyeol calling out his name, saying something along the lines of ‘this isn’t over yet’ and ended the call. Yifan threw his cellphone onto the couch and dashed to the door. “Coming…”
Yifan’s throat went dry at the view.
Junmyeon was standing in front of him. He smiled when Yifan opened the door. “Hey.”
“H-hey, Junmyeon…” Yifan’s heartbeat quickened upon seeing the beautiful male. “Um. Sehun’s not home right now…”
“I know.”
“You-you know?” Yifan was so lost of what to retort at that, that he only managed to blurt out, “Then why are you here?”
Junmyeon looked slightly hurt. “I’m sorry if you don’t want me here…”
“Wait, that’s not it. I just…” Yifan sighed in exasperation. “I don’t know. I’m sorry. Do you want to come in?”
Junmyeon didn’t respond to his question. The male simply pressed his lips together and Yifan thought it was a really cute view. “Yifan… When are you going home?”
“I’m going home next Saturday.”
“Next week?”
“Yeah. Next week…”
Yifan would’ve never thought that he would see Junmyeon blooming into a sincere smile just by hearing such simple words.
“Then we still have another week…”
“Yeah? I guess…”
Junmyeon tilted his head to one side, pondering. He seemed to be choosing his words carefully before speaking. “We’ve…never really talked in high school, right?”
Yifan was starting to get confused with all of Junmyeon’s questions. And how many times have he answered ‘yeah’? “Yeah…?”
“Do you mind if we start talking now?”
Yifan’s heart almost came to a stop.
***
Yifan did his best to maintain a safe distance from Junmyeon. Well, there were a lot of reasons for that, but the main one was Sehun, of course. Junmyeon didn’t mean harm and his intention was sincere, but the problem lied in Yifan. If this kept on happening…he would never be able to let go.
But when he realized Junmyeon was serious about them starting to talk, his resolve began to waver.
Because this was Junmyeon he was thinking about.
The one he cared about.
The one who always appeared in his dreams whether he liked it or not.
The love of his life.
And Yifan was definitely lying if he said he didn’t want to talk to Junmyeon.
Besides…he would go back to China soon. It could be the last time he ever saw Junmyeon, or even talked to him. The thought made him smile bitterly because if, just if, Sehun ever proposed to Junmyeon…
…then his life was over.
“Yifan?”
Yifan was pulled out of his reveries and he turned to look at Junmyeon. “Yes?”
“You’ve been spacing out. What’s on your mind?”
Yifan flicked his cigarette slightly, causing the ash to drop to the ground. “Some things.”
Junmyeon was a few steps away from him because he was smoking, but nonetheless, it felt nice to have him close. The brown-haired male had his eyes on Yifan, but it could be just the latter’s imagination. “I never knew you smoke…”
Yifan merely smiled. Clearly there are a lot of things that you don’t know about me.
“Sehun doesn’t, so…”
“Ah,” Yifan nodded as he took another drag. “He’s always been everyone’s sweetheart.”
“That’s not what I-“ Junmyeon stopped talking abruptly. When Yifan didn’t respond at all, he continued, “Why did you go to China?”
Yifan shrugged. It crossed his mind to lie to Junmyeon, but what was the point anymore…?
“To escape things.”
Junmyeon pursed his lips. “Did it work?”
The taller of the two exhaled loudly as he threw the rest of his cigarette into the trash bin. Yifan opened his mouth then closed it back, wondering of what to say. Just as he did, Junmyeon’s phone rang and the beautiful male took it out of his pocket. Junmyeon said nothing, but his expression made it obvious who was calling.
“You should pick it up,” Yifan said encouragingly.
Junmyeon nodded. He then walked farther from Yifan as he picked up the call. When he was finally done, Yifan took the chance to speak before Junmyeon got to say anything.
“Yifan-“
“You’re gonna be happy with Sehun.”
Junmyeon looked stunned.
“He’s better than-“ Yifan cleared his throat because he almost said me. “-anyone I know. My parents have always been prouder of him. He doesn’t smoke. He never got bad grades. He’s studying to be a doctor. He’s…everything you’ve ever wanted.”
Junmyeon dropped his gaze.
How’s that for a talk?
Yifan, you idiot.
Yifan glanced up at the sky. It was getting dark, and the weather forecast said it could rain tonight.
“Come on, Junmyeon, I’ll walk you home...”
***
Yifan hadn’t seen Junmyeon ever since.
His flight to China was just a few days away, but he hadn’t even packed. Not that he had much to pack anyway. Yifan spent the rest of his day at home, sleeping and resting. He was not really in the mood to go anywhere.
Sehun was busy talking on the phone that morning when Yifan stepped out of his room. He didn’t really pay attention to what his brother was saying, but when Sehun said I love you in Chinese, it got Yifan to pause.
Does Junmyeon speak Mandarin?
“Morning,” Sehun greeted brightly as he placed his cellphone into his pocket. “That reminds me, when are you going back, Hyung?”
“The day after tomorrow.”
“The day after…that soon?” Sehun frowned disapprovingly. “Why don’t you ask Junmyeon-hyung to go with you before you go back?”
Yifan narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean by that?”
“Well, unless you know exactly when you’re going back here again, I suggest you bid him farewell. For the time being, I mean. Junmyeon-hyung seems to like your company for the past few days. And nothing makes me happier than knowing that you guys are well.”
Right...
Because he’s your boyfriend and I’m your brother.
“I’ll be spending the night in the hospital, anyway.” Sehun glanced at the clock and he gasped. “I’m gonna be late if I don’t go now. See you later, Hyung.”
Yifan only bade his brother goodbye in return.
***
Yifan hated to admit it, but Sehun was right.
He was helplessly in love with Junmyeon, but if Junmyeon was meant to be with Sehun, then there was nothing he could do about it. As long as Sehun treated him right, and Junmyeon was happy…who was Yifan to stand between them? And if what Sehun said was true, about Junmyeon liking his company for the past few days…
…then Yifan would want to make a happy ending about it.
The least he could do was to say goodbye.
It was foolish of him to make the same mistake twice. Yifan was more annoyed than happy to admit that Chanyeol had been right all along. Although Junmyeon was dating his brother, he got the chance to talk to the beautiful male-which was something that wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t gone home.
Yifan took a deep breath before knocking softly on the door. He instinctively held his breath when he heard footsteps coming closer to the door, and the butterflies in his stomach just made it worse.
Junmyeon peeked carefully when the door swung open and a pleased smile was etched across his face. “Yifan…?”
Yifan smiled back as he lifted up his hand, showing what he brought with him. “Hi. Beer…?”
Junmyeon chuckled in amusement as he opened the door. “Come in, then.”
Yifan nervously stepped inside. It was his first time in Junmyeon’s apartment, after all. He must’ve been amazed by the decorations when Junmyeon playfully pushed his back, as if to tell him to move forward. Yifan smiled apologetically as he followed Junmyeon closely from behind. Admiration bubbled within him, because Yifan knew Junmyeon was rich, but the latter wasn’t the type to show off. His apartment was nicely decorated, but not too much.
They sat together in the living room. The television was on, it seemed like Junmyeon was in the middle of watching a drama when he came. The couch was comfortable, but the distance between them made it the opposite. Junmyeon was at the end of the couch with his knees drawn to his chest, while Yifan was at the other end. If anyone saw the condition, they probably assumed Yifan and Junmyeon were currently having lover’s problem and they refused to talk to each other.
Lovers.
Yifan inwardly shook himself from the thought. He placed the can of beers on the table, snatched one for himself and gave one to Junmyeon.
Junmyeon thanked him with a smile, which made Yifan look away because his heart was thumping loudly. “You’re going back soon, right?”
It must’ve been Yifan’s imagination when he thought he heard a hint of hope laced underneath Junmyeon’s tone. Yifan shook his can of beer slightly before looking back at the petite male beside him. “I’m not sure.”
Junmyeon pouted. “Do you really like China better than here?”
Yifan raised his brows, pretended to be hurt. “You’re one to talk. Don’t you speak Mandarin?”
Junmyeon frowned in confusion. “Huh? I don’t.”
“Eh?” Yifan was dumbfounded. His mind flashed back to the morning event when Sehun spoke in Mandarin to the other person on the phone. “Not even the…common phrases? Like, good morning…good night…”
Or I love you?
Junmyeon looked slightly amused as he leaned his back against the cushion. “No…not at all. Maybe you can teach me?”
Yifan pretended to think. “It’s gonna cost you a lot.”
Junmyeon laughed heartily. “It doesn’t matter as long as you stay…”
The other male’s words got Yifan to stun and Junmyeon’s expression turned to horror immediately.
“I’m-I’m sorry,” Junmyeon stuttered and his cheeks reddened from embarrassment. “It-it must be the alcohol talking…”
Yifan’s mouth went dry because even in such condition, Junmyeon was still beautiful-no, scratch that, he was the most beautiful creature Yifan had ever laid his eyes on. The feeling didn’t-again, no, his feeling never changed. Yifan’s hands trembled as he braved himself to shift closer to Junmyeon, closing the distance between them. He prepared himself for rejection-just in case Junmyeon pushed him away, but no.
Junmyeon stared right into Yifan’s eyes instead.
“I like it,” Yifan said quietly. “Let the alcohol takes over, then.”
Junmyeon parted his lips and Yifan did a great job to hold back his desire. “Yifan…?”
“Do you…want me to stay?” Yifan lifted up his hand, making its way to Junmyeon’s hair. The beautiful male’s eyes fluttered when Yifan ran his fingers on the soft locks, feeling extremely calm with the simple touch. “Junmyeon…what if I tell you I wasn’t drunk that night?”
Junmyeon looked confused for a moment before realization dawned upon him. “Oh.”
“Will you hate me?”
Junmyeon then smiled beautifully at him, so beautiful that it almost made Yifan’s heart stop.
“Will you kiss me again, then…?”
***
Yifan was out of his mind.
But he would never regret it.
Yifan was overwhelmed with indescribable feelings when Junmyeon gently returned the kiss. Let it be the alcohol, let it be anything else, Yifan didn’t care, because Junmyeon was his for the night. When Yifan aimed for Junmyeon’s exposed neck and the latter smelled godly good, there was a selfish feeling of not wanting him to be touched by anyone else.
Not by his own brother.
His.
Yifan was supposed to feel content.
He was supposed to feel content just by exchanging sweet kisses and to be able to hold Junmyeon close in his arms. Who knew when he would be back to Korea? The tall male could just live the rest of his life in China, unmarried, because his heart belonged to Junmyeon.
But when Junmyeon shivered slightly and murmured Yifan’s name against his hair while the latter was kissing his neck, Yifan completely lost himself.
Yifan didn’t know if it was alcohol anymore. It could be his inner self, who had been craving for Junmyeon all these years. Deep down, Yifan realized it could be just this one time for him to be able to touch Junmyeon. So he took his time, as painful as it was, to savor the taste of Junmyeon’s smooth skin against his lips.
Junmyeon wasn’t being vocal, but his breathless state showed that he didn’t hate it. It was funny how Yifan had a feeling that Junmyeon kept on searching for his hand, to entwine their fingers, even just for a moment. The gesture was simple, but it made Yifan feel like he was wanted, like he was needed, like Junmyeon was just as madly in love.
When Yifan spread Junmyeon’s legs and peppered light kisses on the flawless skin, he was terrified. He was terrified of the name that would come out from Junmyeon’s lips. It wasn’t alcohol for Yifan, but what if it was for Junmyeon? Junmyeon seemed careful enough not to moan loudly…
Yifan wanted to kick himself for thinking such thing in the middle of their…whatever it was that they were having. It could be one night stand. But Yifan just didn’t want to think of anything at the moment. He focused his thought on the beautiful male underneath him. Yifan carefully inserted his fingers into Junmyeon, to prepare him before inserting the real.
Junmyeon gasped as he winced.
“Yi-Yifan…”
Yifan felt like crying when it was his name instead of anyone else that escaped Junmyeon’s lips. He became emotional for a second before pulling Junmyeon close and clashed their lips together. Junmyeon instinctively wrapped his slender arms around Yifan’s neck, wanting to be even closer if that was possible.
“I love you,” Yifan breathed out against Junmyeon’s lips. “I swear, I love you…”
Junmyeon murmured something back with a fond smile, and Yifan didn’t want to hold back anymore.
Then make love to me, Yifan.
***
It felt like a dream.
It was probably a dream.
Yifan woke up to the most beautiful view he had ever seen.
He thought it was just an illusion, created by his desperate mind. But when Junmyeon stirred slightly, Yifan knew that it was really happening. The taller of the two then leaned forward cautiously to press a kiss on Junmyeon’s forehead. Junmyeon smiled and he let out a hum, but he was still sleeping.
Yifan then went back to Sehun’s apartment before saying goodbye at Junmyeon. He threw one last longing glance at the sleeping male before leaving. His heart was full with his love for Junmyeon. It was so full that he was certain no other person would be able to invade it.
He just wished for Junmyeon’s happiness.
That was all he ever asked.
On his way home, Yifan took his time to think. No matter how happy he was, but what he did was wrong. It was terribly wrong. What had he done…? Junmyeon was Sehun’s boyfriend. Didn’t he go to Junmyeon’s apartment, only intending to say goodbye…?
Yifan was so bothered by what he had done that he ended up going to the hospital instead. If he was being very mean, he would’ve just packed and then left without saying goodbye to anyone. Not even to Sehun, who had the right to deserve the truth…
“Hyung?” Sehun tapped Yifan’s shoulder lightly, eliciting a small gasp from the older male. “What are you doing here? Is something wrong?”
Yifan slowly turned around. He almost didn’t have the strength to look at Sehun anymore. But what he did was horrible, and if the price was to be hated by his own sibling, then be it. Yifan whimpered weakly and suddenly, he just felt like crying.
“I’m… I’m gonna go back today.”
“What?” Sehun looked astonished. “But you said-“
“I love Junmyeon, Sehun.”
Sehun’s expression faltered upon hearing that. Yifan instantly regretted saying it and guilt was building up inside, but there was no pretending anymore. Sehun needed to know.
“I love him. I’m in love with him, I’ve always been. And I’m sorry.”
Yifan shut his eyes as he gritted his teeth, just in case a fist landed in his face. Not that he minded. He deserved it, though.
“And then?”
Yifan carefully cracked his eyes open, almost fearfully, and was a bit dumbfounded when Sehun didn’t seem angry at all. Instead, his brother’s eyes glinted with curiosity. “Huh?”
“Did you tell him you love him?”
Yifan blinked dumbly. “I…I did.”
“What was his reaction?”
“Whoa,” Yifan took a step backward as he sent Sehun a flabbergast look. “Instead of asking me that, you should’ve punched me. I-I’m in love with your boyfriend, Sehun-“
“Yes, I should’ve punched you, but only because it takes you forever to admit it.”
Yifan’s jaw dropped. “What…?”
“Hyung,” Sehun said sternly. “We’re not together. Junmyeon-hyung’s not my boyfriend. He never was.”
It took Yifan several moments to put the pieces together and his eyes widened in shock. “Wh-what??”
Sehun sighed and his eyes became distant as he recalled. “Do you remember when you asked me how did we end up together?”
Yifan nodded dumbly. Dumb was the only logical expression at the moment. “Yeah…? You said-you said you talked.”
“We did. Well, more like Junmyeon-hyung talked to me. He said he had been wanting to meet you but he had always thought you hated him, because you two had never talked. And after all these years, he never knew you have a brother,” Sehun explained. “But our relationship as brothers isn’t exactly the relationship of the year. So I asked for Chanyeol-hyung’s help. And he said it was a great timing since there was the reunion and…” Sehun let out a groan of frustration upon seeing Yifan’s (stupid) expression. “Don’t you understand, it’s all just a set-up, Hyung.”
“B-but…if what you say is true, then that night on the reunion-“
“Junmyeon-hyung called me that night, saying that he just wanted to go home. I didn’t ask, but I guess I know why. It was his birthday, but you probably didn’t remember.” Sehun sent Yifan a suspicious look. “Did you even know?”
Yifan’s expression changed drastically and he smacked his own forehead so loud, it made Sehun cringe. “Shit.”
Sehun looked over his shoulder when a fellow intern called out his name. “Yes, I’m coming. Look, Hyung, I gotta go. But please, whether you stay or you leave, just please, let him know how you feel. Any idiot would be able to tell how you feel, Hyung. It’s just so obvious.”
His brother then left with a dismissive wave of hand.
Yifan was standing all alone for a few more minutes. It was still a shock to Yifan after knowing that Junmyeon didn’t date Sehun, but he
wasn’t given much time to think because the next second, his phone was ringing.
Yifan stared at the screen blankly before picking up. It was his colleague. Something told him that it was about his job-the worst case scenario was that the boss probably wanted him to go back sooner.
“Hey, Henry, what’s up?”
***
Junmyeon leaned on the doorway with a blank stare.
When he woke up this morning, he could tell immediately that Yifan had left. Junmyeon kind of expected that, but still, it hurt when it really happened. The male let out a deep sigh and told himself not to cry.
His memories with Yifan would never fade, he was certain of that.
Junmyeon was about to walk back into the bedroom, preferably to rest, but then he realized the door to the balcony was open. He frowned as he tried to recall the night before. Was it left opened? Did he forget to close it? An ugly thought like what if someone had broke in crossed his mind, and Junmyeon became scared. However, it dissipated the moment he found out that Yifan was out in the balcony, smoking.
The brown-haired male breathed in relief.
Yifan didn’t seem to acknowledge his presence, so Junmyeon didn't dare to move. A moment later, the taller of the two shifted his eyes up and smiled upon seeing Junmyeon, beckoning the latter to step outside. Junmyeon smiled back as he walked closer to Yifan, but then halted halfway because the latter was smoking.
“Hey…”
“Hey.”
“I…I thought you’ve left…”
Yifan responded nothing to that but to take another drag of his cigarette. Silence descended upon the two of them, both were occupied with their own thoughts. Junmyeon let the silence lingered for a few more seconds before stepping closer to Yifan, to snatch the cigarette away.
“This isn’t good for your health,” Junmyeon wrinkled his nose in distaste. “Maybe you should stop…”
Something stung Yifan’s eyes and his vision became blurry. Yifan opened his mouth to retort, but then he became hesitant. Junmyeon was looking at him questioningly, seeking for an answer. Yifan looked at Junmyeon’s face and he was more than determined to make things right.
It was now or never.
“If I do,” Yifan held his breath. “Will you live with me forever?”
End.
Yifan went back to China that week, but only to pack for the rest of his belongings. When Henry gave him a call, his colleague was offering a chance for him to work in Korea. Apparently, there was someone named Kim Minseok who asked to be transferred to China branch, but they were going to have to arrange an exchange instead of adding another worker. The only person that came to Henry’s mind was Yifan, since his family was in Korea.
So he said yes.
Which was probably the best decision he had ever made in ten years.
The sound of the alarm clock woke Yifan up abruptly.
He grunted quietly to himself, because it was Saturday and why the heck did he forget to set it off. Yifan was still too lazy to move when suddenly the alarm clock went off. Still with his eyes closed, he could feel the movement beside him, but then the other side of bed became light and instinctively, Yifan extended a hand to reach out.
“Babe. Where are you going?”
Junmyeon hummed. “Nowhere, Yifan. I’m just going to make coffee for us…”
“It’s still too early for that. Get back in here, it’s cold.”
“That’s what blankets are for, Yifan,” Junmyeon chuckled earnestly as he grabbed the nearest shirt to cover his body. “I’m going to the kitchen whether you like it or not.”
“Wait.”
Junmyeon pretended to be annoyed as he stared at Yifan. “What is it?”
“Nothing. Just like I thought.”
Yifan smiled at Junmyeon, his pride was swelling inside.
“You look a hundred times better in my shirt…”