Broken Doll: HunHan [1/2]
Title: Broken Doll: HunHan [1/2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: HunHan
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Three brothers. Three personalities. Three love stories.
Author's Note: This...is long and boring. Why do you even read this ;; I'm so sorry AND PLEASE, NO TRANSLATIONS ALLOWED ;;;;
[2: KrisHo]
Kim Sehun had never fallen in love.
He worshiped Junmyeon too much that he had no time to think about other people anymore. He loved his older brother too much that he didn’t have any space in his heart for anyone else. Sehun cared about Junmyeon too much that he couldn’t think of anyone else everytime he needed someone.
Sehun grew up without parents and Junmyeon was the one who raised him. Junmyeon was the one who hugged him when he fell down on the ground and grazed his knee. Junmyeon was the one who was willing to stay up late when Sehun had to study for his exams. Junmyeon was also the one who worked very hard to earn money for both him and Jongin.
Junmyeon was all he had and Sehun felt content with it. He thought he was going to grow up forever with Junmyeon-Jongin too, but the tanned skin male could do whatever he wanted with his life-just like this, forever.
It never occurred to him that Junmyeon would fall in love with anyone else. It never occurred to him that Junmyeon would dedicate his life to any other person than his younger brothers.
Sehun hated that.
He hated the fact that no matter what he did, his bond with Junmyeon would forever be inseparable and it would be unforgivable if they were together. Because they were related by blood. They were brothers. They were siblings.
After finding out about Junmyeon and Yifan’s relationship, Sehun regretted hitting his brother’s boyfriend. He regretted hitting him only once. If he knew things would turn out this way, Sehun would send him a few more punches and it would probably make him satisfied.
Junmyeon never seemed to be happy because his time was spent on studying and working, but when he broke up with Yifan, he was even worse than that. It got Sehun to agree with their relationship simply because Junmyeon was miserable and lost without the Chinese male by his side, and it was the first time Sehun had ever witnessed that. All this time, Junmyeon looked strong with everything that happened. Their condition was way worse even before he met Yifan, but maybe...the Chinese male was the only one Junmyeon needed.
Sehun tried to shrug it off, but it was a bit impossible because Yifan came by to their apartment a lot and he had never seen Junmyeon smiling sincerely like that before. It pained him to know that the smile wasn’t caused by him. It pained him to see his brother had his eyes fixed on Yifan and Yifan only. It pained him so much, maybe because Sehun wasn’t ready. Maybe he needed more time to think. Maybe...
...maybe he wasn’t ready to see Junmyeon happy.
Sehun felt utterly broken and he wasn’t sure anything could even fix him.
Kim Sehun had never fallen in love.
Except for Kim Junmyeon, that was.
***
Despite the fact that he actually never really approved his brother’s relationship, he never said it out loud.
But his mask was starting to crumble when when Junmyeon told them that Yifan had proposed.
Sehun’s grip on his glass was so tight that he almost didn’t care if he would break it. His expression hardened and he had a strong feeling to vomit.
“...marriage?”
His tone was so cold that Junmyeon almost couldn’t bring himself to look at his own brother.
“Y-yeah,” Junmyeon stammered nervously and he almost dropped his chopsticks.
“That’s wonderful, hyung,” Jongin sincerely replied and Junmyeon beamed at him. “That’s really a great news. I’m happy for you.”
Junmyeon’s eyes were wrinkling as his cheeks pulling into a smile, but it soon dissipated when he realized Sehun’s expression. The oldest male of the three felt his heart sinking and lowered his head. “It’s...it’s still a plan, though... I-I haven’t said yes...”
“You haven’t?”
“N-no,” Junmyeon shook his head. “I...I told Yifan I would think about it...”
“Hyung, it’s your marriage, not ours,” Jongin said almost desperately as he placed a hand on Junmyeon’s. “You do not have to think about our-“
“I’m going,” Sehun stated in a flat tone as he rose abruptly from his seat.
“But-but your meal isn’t finished yet-“
“I lost my appetite.”
Sehun hastily headed toward the front door and felt the need to run away as soon as possible. He put on his shoes and didn’t even bother to look over his shoulder. Or even to say goodbye.
Junmyeon felt a bit hurt but then he said what he always said.
“Be careful, Sehunie...”
Sehun only slammed the apartment door in reply.
***
A few months had passed since Junmyeon and Yifan’s first breakup, and Sehun was now an university student.
He had graduated with such flying colors that he was offered a scholarship from one of the famous universities in Seoul, but it didn’t require him to stay at the dorm. It once crossed his mind to just stay at the university, away from home, but he didn’t want to leave Junmyeon...at least not yet. Now that the marriage news broke out, he wondered if he should’ve taken the dorm instead. And if Junmyeon said yes...
God, my brother isn’t going to be mine anymore.
It affected Sehun so much that the male had started smoking and drinking. He was never drunk, but sometimes when he got home, Sehun couldn’t hide the fact that he had been drinking. And Junmyeon wasn’t a fool. The older of the two would smell the liquor and heavy smoke on him but he never said anything. Or maybe he wanted to, but Sehun never gave him the chance. He would just walk past him and went to his bedroom like nothing was wrong.
The usual Junmyeon would scold and nag at him in a brotherly way, but not lately. Sehun despised it because Junmyeon always, always gave in to his requests. Even though he acted childish and selfish, he was still just a kid who wanted his brother’s attention just like it used to. He wanted Junmyeon to approach him and ask him what was wrong. But even Junmyeon seemed lost and scared at his behavior.
Maybe it was because of Yifan.
Fuck Wu Yifan and his life.
As if it wasn’t enough, Sehun also started to go home late. Sometimes, he wouldn’t even go home simply because he didn’t want to face Junmyeon. He would have a sleepover in his classmate’s dorm or anywhere else that he could sleep in. And whenever Junmyeon asked him, Sehun would casually answer that he had been studying in a friend’s place and fell asleep. His brother didn’t seem to buy it all the time, but at least Sehun still got home and he said nothing after that. He became even more and more rebellious, and wanted to do even more when Junmyeon still commented nothing in return. The older male was even more speechless when Sehun came home with rainbow haircolor.
Sehun seemed to be the only one who was against the plan of Junmyeon marrying Yifan, because Jongin was the opposite. They had always been the opposite of each other. Sehun snorted at the thought because of course, it was alright for the tanned skin male to approve because he had Kyungsoo. It was easy for him to agree to the proposal because he wasn’t the one who fall in love with his own brother ever since he was little.
Ever since the proposal slipped out of Junmyeon’s mouth, the situation in the dining room had never been delightful. Most of the times it would be Junmyeon who tried to start a conversation with his younger brothers and Sehun would eat his breakfast like he was alone in the room. Jongin was the only person who would reply while Sehun didn’t give a damn about what they were talking about.
It was the same situation every morning. Breakfast seemed to be the only occasion where the three of them met face to face lately. Because other than that, Sehun wouldn’t be home. He swallowed the last piece of his bacon before standing up.
“I’m going.”
Junmyeon stopped talking with Jongin and called out his name. “S-Sehunie...?”
Sehun glanced at Junmyeon in dismay. “What?”
Junmyeon flinched slightly at his gaze but nevertheless, he still went on. “Can you...come home earlier this evening? Yifan and Kyungsoo are coming over for dinner...”
Yifan.
How Sehun loathed both the name and the person. He didn’t say a word and unwillingly shifted his glance to Jongin. The tanned skin male stared firmly at him. Sehun pursed his lips in dislike and shrugged.
“Sure.”
Junmyeon beamed gratefully at him and he sent his brother a small smile. “Thank you. Be careful, Sehunie... See you later.”
***
Whenever Sehun wasn’t doing the rebellious things-smoking, drinking, hair coloring and all that jazz, he would spend most of his days in the library.
His class was done for the day, but he didn’t want to go home just yet. Eventually his time on the library was up and the librarian had to clear her throat and politely ask him to go home. Sehun glanced at his watch and pouted, because it was almost dinner time and dinner time meant he had to go home and meet Yifan and-
Sehun pressed his lips into a thin line.
He disliked Yifan because he knew, deep down inside, the Chinese male was perfect for his brother. That if he ever had to let go, it would be to someone like Yifan. Junmyeon did a great job of not showing his relationship to his younger brothers. He would pick up Yifan’s calls in his room or spoke in a low tone so it wouldn’t bother anyone else, but Sehun could tell that he was actually very happy to date the taller male.
And the way Junmyeon smiled whenever it was Yifan related... God, his brother was so fucking beautiful when he smiled that Sehun wasn’t willing to share it with anyone else.
Especially not to Wu Yifan.
Sehun had no idea where to go so he aimlessly walked around. The blowing wind and the rumbling thunder were obvious enough to tell that it was going to rain soon. Sehun absently kicked an empty can of soda on the street and zipped his jacket up to his chest. His stomach was grumbling and the image of Junmyeon’s cooking made his mouth watered. But no, he wouldn’t go home just yet.
He had been spacing out that when Sehun snapped out of his thoughts, he was somewhere in an unfamiliar environment. The street was almost empty and it was dark. Just as Sehun glanced over his shoulder to observe the place, it started raining. He cursed to himself and was about to turn around and run for the nearest shelter, but then he halted.
Someone was screaming.
Sehun held his breath to listen, but it was a bit hard with the sound of the heavy rain. He shrugged it off because it could be just his imagination. Sehun was about to step away again when he heard another voice.
Someone was definitely screaming.
Sehun looked around as he narrowed his eyes and tried to find the source of the voice. He waited for a moment before widening his eyes because someone had just appeared from the dark alley across the street. A red haired girl was running and she screamed in fear when someone managed to grab her backpack. She struggled for a second before finally able to yank herself away from her attacker.
“HEY!!!”
Sehun’s voice must have been terribly loud that the attacker looked over his shoulder and he let go of the girl’s backpack. The man then ran to the opposite direction, disappearing into the darkness of the alley and left the girl. Sehun ran across the street to approach the girl and he threw a look around, making sure that it was safe before helping the girl to get up.
“Are you alright?”
The girl was trembling badly and she was hugging her body.
Sehun knelt down beside her and cupped her chin with both of his hands. “Hey, are you alright?”
The girl slowly looked up at him and Sehun’s heart ground to a halt.
She was definitely a he.
And he, was definitely pretty.
“I-“ He whispered weakly.
“We don’t have time to chat here,” Sehun said firmly. “Whoever attacked you-he could come back. Can you get up? Let’s get you to a safer place.”
The male feebly nodded before letting himself be pulled up by Sehun. Instinctively, Sehun placed a hand on the male’s shoulder and they started running. He let the red haired male ran first and they kept on running until they reached a familiar street-which was fortunately quite crowded-and stopped at the nearest bus stop.
There were a few other people who also took shelter at the said place and Sehun motioned the other male to sit at one of the empty spots available. He obeyed as he took a seat and Sehun stood in front of him. He noticed the male was still trembling slightly and his palms were pressed onto his mouth.
“Are you alright?”
Sehun put a hand on his shoulder and the male flinched at the gesture. He immediately pulled his hand away.
“Sorry.”
The male looked down as he shook his head apologetically. “No... You...you saved my life. I’m sorry. I’m still...”
Sehun frowned as he heard the broken accent and knelt before him. “Was he about to rob you?”
“I-I don’t think so...” His voice was so small and he looked like he was about to cry.
“Hey, you’re safe now,” Sehun sternly said. “You’re safe now, alright? That’s all that matters.”
The male hesitantly nodded and Sehun stood back up. He fished his hands into his pockets and stared at the street. He did nothing but to stand close to the male, waiting for him to stop trembling. A few people got into the bus as it came. Sehun took a look at his wristwatch and realized it was already past dinner time.
They probably have started without me.
Sehun absentmindedly grabbed his phone, only to find that it was already off. He frowned to himself. Maybe the battery was low. Maybe he turned it off on purpose and he didn’t remember. Sehun tucked his phone back into his pocket and sighed.
What is Junmyeon-hyung cooking for dinner?
Maybe it’s something special.
Because Yifan is coming.
Sehun puffed his cheeks in annoyance and turned to the red haired male. He needed something to distract his mind. “Do you live around here?”
The male blinked blankly at Sehun. “Y-yeah...a few blocks from here...”
“Do you bring any jacket?”
Sehun got a headshake as an answer and he searched for a spare jacket from his bag. It was Junmyeon who advised him to always bring a spare jacket-and he felt kind of grateful for that because it was useful. When he finally found one, he handed it casually to the other male. Sehun got a confused stare in return.
“Use it. I’m gonna walk you home.”
“I...”
“I’m not coming home for dinner,” Sehun said. “Might as well just be responsible and walk you home.”
The male looked hesitant.
“You can hit me if I do anything suspicious.”
It got the other male to smile slightly as he looked down to the jacket. He looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding shyly.
“I’m Sehun, by the way.”
The male tilted his head to a side cutely and gave Sehun a warm smile.
“I’m Luhan...”
***
Junmyeon couldn’t stop glancing and sighing at the clock.
Dinner was ready and served, but Sehun hadn’t gotten home yet. He tried to call his younger brother, but his phone was turned off and it got him to feel a bit worried. Junmyeon brought his nail to his mouth, but before he got to even chew it, Yifan’s hand prevented him from doing so.
“Is Sehun not answering?”
Junmyeon shook his head sadly. “His-his phone is turned off...”
“Oh.” Junmyeon’s expression saddened him and Yifan gave his boyfriend a calming squeeze on his hand before pulling the younger male closer into his arms. “It’s alright. Sehun’s a strong man. He’s a grown up. I’m sure he’ll be home soon.”
Junmyeon’s lips curved upward into a small smile at his boyfriend’s attempt, but still it didn’t ease his mind. He took a deep sigh before burying his head on the taller male’s chest.
Jongin was about to enter the room with Kyungsoo when Yifan spoke.
“What did he say about...us?”
The tanned skin male immediately halted and Kyungsoo bumped right onto his back. Before his boyfriend even got the time to protest, Jongin immediately turned around and pressed his lips against Kyungsoo’s so that the latter wouldn’t cry or anything.
“Us...? Oh. That, you mean,” Jongin heard Junmyeon chuckling nervously. “I... I haven’t told Jongin and Sehun yet. They...especially Sehun, have been very busy lately and...it’s not the best time...”
Jongin slowly broke the kiss but he didn’t pull away. Dammit. It pained him to hear the white lie from Junmyeon and he wished there was something he could do.
“Jongin-ah?” Kyungsoo whispered softly.
Jongin smiled apologetically at Kyungsoo before pecking him once again. “I’m sorry. Come on, it’s time to eat.” He led Kyungsoo into the dining room like he didn’t hear anything and flashed the older men a smile. “Let’s eat, shall we?”
Junmyeon looked puzzled. “B-but Sehun...”
“He’s stuck because of the rain,” Jongin explained as he motioned Kyungsoo to sit by the table. “He told us to go ahead because apparently, he already ate too while waiting for the rain to stop.”
“I...I see,” Junmyeon said reluctantly. “But...but his phone is off.”
The atmosphere became awkward and Jongin did his best to act normal.
“He sent me a text earlier, hyung.”
“Oh.”
“Come on, let’s eat. I’m starving.”
Junmyeon was still not moving even when Kyungsoo and Jongin had occupied their seats. He still seemed unconvinced, but when Yifan extended a hand to him, it was when Junmyeon slowly bloomed into a smile and accepted his boyfriend’s offer.
“Let’s eat, then...”
***
Sehun got home past midnight.
He assumed his brothers had gone to bed, judging from the quietness. Sehun tried to be extra careful and managed to close the door with the smallest sound. He tiptoed lightly across the living room. It must have been his bad luck when suddenly Jongin appeared from nowhere with a judging face and Sehun almost yelped in surprise.
“You scared me,” Sehun grunted quietly.
Jongin only narrowed his eyes at his younger brother before walking over to the couch. Sehun frowned at his behavior as he silently pried his socks off. If you don’t want to talk to me, fine. When the younger of the two was done, he headed straight to his room-
-only to stop halfway when he saw Jongin carefully pulled Junmyeon into his arms.
Sehun literally paralyzed at the view. It was as if his feet were transfixed onto the ground when he saw Junmyeon stirring slightly in Jongin’s arms but he was still in deep slumber. Sehun’s line of sight went to the couch and caught the view of a pillow and a blanket.
Did he wait...for me?
Jongin finally walked past by Sehun. Their shoulders almost bumped and Sehun was sure Jongin would’ve done so if Junmyeon wasn’t in his arms.
“Hyung,” Sehun whispered, feeling a bit unsure.
Jongin adjusted Junmyeon carefully in his arms before reaching for the door knob. He gave Sehun a blank stare before disappearing into the room and shut the door.
It was probably the first time Sehun ever felt guilty.
***
The next morning, Junmyeon seemed terribly relieved at his presence.
“Good morning, Sehunie...”
Sehun only hummed in reply as he settled on his chair. Jongin still said nothing to him and he didn’t really care. It wasn’t like they talked a lot.
Despite everything that happened, Junmyeon still took care of him. The older male had never stopped cooking for him and Junmyeon still even did his laundry. Sehun hastily shoved the omelette into his mouth, clearly showing no intention for chitchatting. He didn’t have any class for the day, but as usual, he didn’t want to stay home. His genius mind actually didn’t require him to study that hard, but he felt a bit peaceful at the library and he planned to spend the whole day there.
“What did you have for dinner last night, Sehunie?”
Sehun looked up from his breakfast questioningly because he actually had nothing for dinner. He only walked Luhan home and after knowing that Luhan was safe and sound at his apartment, he walked around some more to clear his mind. Sehun was about to answer that he didn’t have any, but Jongin interrupted before he was even able to start.
“You ate ramen, right?”
Sehun stopped chewing as he stared at Jongin. They exchanged unreadable glances for a while before Sehun decided to play along. “...yeah.”
“Ramen?” Junmyeon frowned. “Do you have the money, Sehunie?”
Sehun only nodded at that before swallowing the last piece of his food and stood up.
“I’m going.”
Sehun then grabbed his bag and nonchalantly waved his hand as a sign of goodbye before heading to the door. He faintly heard Junmyeon wishing him to be careful and he left.
***
Sehun stretched out his hands as he yawned and nodded knowingly at the librarian. It was late and he needed to go home-yeah, he got it. She grinned in response and walked back to the counter to finish her job. Sehun closed his textbooks and gathered his things as he wondered where should he go after this.
It was funny because a few months ago, at the exact time, Sehun would be already at home and wait for Junmyeon. He wouldn’t eat anything because he wanted Junmyeon to cook something for him. Heck, he would eat anything Junmyeon cooked for him. Sometimes Sehun ignored the tiredness radiated from Junmyeon’s face because he was selfish that way, but it was his right, because Junmyeon was his.
But soon Junmyeon wouldn’t be his anymore.
Junmyeon would probably leave if he ever got married with Yifan. And then what, left the two of them alone? Jongin would be fine because he had Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo could cook and everything-he was a lovely boyfriend material. But what about Sehun? He wouldn’t be fine. Fine was an overstatement.
Sehun was standing in front of the station’s electronic map with his eyes observing every colorful dots. Lately, he had been wondering around until midnight that he felt a bit tired at that and it would be nice to sleep in his bed, but... Sehun groaned to himself when his stomach growled. He should probably get some food first and think later.
“Sehun-ah?”
Sehun lazily turned around and blinked when he was greeted with bright colored locks. The pretty male’s smile widened when his guess was right and instinctively leaned forward to hug him. Sehun froze on his track when he received the unprepared hug.
“It is you!”
“...Luhan.”
Luhan quickly pulled away and blushed in embarrassment. “I’m-I’m sorry...”
Sehun’s expression darkened for a split second because it reminded him of Junmyeon’s hug. Dammit, did everything have to remind him of Junmyeon?
“It’s okay.”
“Are you-are you going home?”
Home.
Sehun looked away before shaking his head. “Not yet.”
“Well then...how about having dinner with me?” Luhan tilted his head to a side cutely and frowned at the empty expression Sehun gave him. “I’m hungry and I owe you for saving my life...” He trailed off when Sehun kept his poker face on and scratched his head sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so rude-“
“Okay.”
Luhan blinked. “Okay?”
Sehun nodded. “Okay. I’ll have dinner with you.”
Luhan’s expression brightened as he broke into a wide smile and Sehun felt his heart aching slightly at that. “Great!”
The smile somehow reminded him of Junmyeon.
***
Luhan turned out to be a great cook.
Sehun felt his mouth watering at the sight of the Chinese food served for him and dug in the moment Luhan said ‘have a nice meal’. He could feel the other male stared at him in amusement. Sehun swallowed down all of the food in a record time and Luhan blinked at how clean his plate was.
“More, Sehun-ah?”
Luhan was a bit hesitant to offer because Sehun already had quite a lot but the latter nodded vigorously and he couldn’t help but smiled. The red haired male placed another portion on Sehun’s place and the latter munched like there was no tomorrow.
“Hey, be careful,” Luhan warned him. “Slow down...”
Sehun abruptly stopped as he stared at Luhan.
Be careful.
Just like the one Junmyeon had always said.
They had a different tone and different expression, but it was used for the same purpose. Sehun continued to chew for another moment before gulping and directed his gaze somewhere else, away from Luhan.
The male somehow reminded him of Junmyeon.
Sehun almost hated it.
“Is this Chinese?” Sehun mumbled quietly as he put the half empty bowl down on the dining table. “Are you Chinese?”
Luhan nodded questioningly. “...yeah.”
“I hate Chinese.”
Luhan seemed a bit taken aback by his statement and his expression dimmed at that. Nonetheless, his smile was still chiseled on his beautiful face-but it was clear that he was feeling otherwise.
Just like Junmyeon.
“Does it mean you hate me, then...?”
Sehun didn’t answer.
“You certainly didn’t care about race when you saved me...right?”
The younger of the two cradled his glass of water in his hand as he continued to chew slowly. His eyes were fixed at the pattern of the glass before directing them back to Luhan.
“Maybe if you start cooking something else...”
Luhan raised his eyebrows before chuckling.
“Deal, I’ll try to make something Korean next time.”
Next time.
“In the meantime,” Luhan leaned forward to catch Sehun’s gaze. “Don’t hate me just yet, okay?”
Sehun felt his heart skipping a beat.
He didn’t understand why.
[2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: HunHan
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Three brothers. Three personalities. Three love stories.
Author's Note: This...is long and boring. Why do you even read this ;; I'm so sorry AND PLEASE, NO TRANSLATIONS ALLOWED ;;;;
[2: KrisHo]
Kim Sehun had never fallen in love.
He worshiped Junmyeon too much that he had no time to think about other people anymore. He loved his older brother too much that he didn’t have any space in his heart for anyone else. Sehun cared about Junmyeon too much that he couldn’t think of anyone else everytime he needed someone.
Sehun grew up without parents and Junmyeon was the one who raised him. Junmyeon was the one who hugged him when he fell down on the ground and grazed his knee. Junmyeon was the one who was willing to stay up late when Sehun had to study for his exams. Junmyeon was also the one who worked very hard to earn money for both him and Jongin.
Junmyeon was all he had and Sehun felt content with it. He thought he was going to grow up forever with Junmyeon-Jongin too, but the tanned skin male could do whatever he wanted with his life-just like this, forever.
It never occurred to him that Junmyeon would fall in love with anyone else. It never occurred to him that Junmyeon would dedicate his life to any other person than his younger brothers.
Sehun hated that.
He hated the fact that no matter what he did, his bond with Junmyeon would forever be inseparable and it would be unforgivable if they were together. Because they were related by blood. They were brothers. They were siblings.
After finding out about Junmyeon and Yifan’s relationship, Sehun regretted hitting his brother’s boyfriend. He regretted hitting him only once. If he knew things would turn out this way, Sehun would send him a few more punches and it would probably make him satisfied.
Junmyeon never seemed to be happy because his time was spent on studying and working, but when he broke up with Yifan, he was even worse than that. It got Sehun to agree with their relationship simply because Junmyeon was miserable and lost without the Chinese male by his side, and it was the first time Sehun had ever witnessed that. All this time, Junmyeon looked strong with everything that happened. Their condition was way worse even before he met Yifan, but maybe...the Chinese male was the only one Junmyeon needed.
Sehun tried to shrug it off, but it was a bit impossible because Yifan came by to their apartment a lot and he had never seen Junmyeon smiling sincerely like that before. It pained him to know that the smile wasn’t caused by him. It pained him to see his brother had his eyes fixed on Yifan and Yifan only. It pained him so much, maybe because Sehun wasn’t ready. Maybe he needed more time to think. Maybe...
...maybe he wasn’t ready to see Junmyeon happy.
Sehun felt utterly broken and he wasn’t sure anything could even fix him.
Kim Sehun had never fallen in love.
Except for Kim Junmyeon, that was.
***
Despite the fact that he actually never really approved his brother’s relationship, he never said it out loud.
But his mask was starting to crumble when when Junmyeon told them that Yifan had proposed.
Sehun’s grip on his glass was so tight that he almost didn’t care if he would break it. His expression hardened and he had a strong feeling to vomit.
“...marriage?”
His tone was so cold that Junmyeon almost couldn’t bring himself to look at his own brother.
“Y-yeah,” Junmyeon stammered nervously and he almost dropped his chopsticks.
“That’s wonderful, hyung,” Jongin sincerely replied and Junmyeon beamed at him. “That’s really a great news. I’m happy for you.”
Junmyeon’s eyes were wrinkling as his cheeks pulling into a smile, but it soon dissipated when he realized Sehun’s expression. The oldest male of the three felt his heart sinking and lowered his head. “It’s...it’s still a plan, though... I-I haven’t said yes...”
“You haven’t?”
“N-no,” Junmyeon shook his head. “I...I told Yifan I would think about it...”
“Hyung, it’s your marriage, not ours,” Jongin said almost desperately as he placed a hand on Junmyeon’s. “You do not have to think about our-“
“I’m going,” Sehun stated in a flat tone as he rose abruptly from his seat.
“But-but your meal isn’t finished yet-“
“I lost my appetite.”
Sehun hastily headed toward the front door and felt the need to run away as soon as possible. He put on his shoes and didn’t even bother to look over his shoulder. Or even to say goodbye.
Junmyeon felt a bit hurt but then he said what he always said.
“Be careful, Sehunie...”
Sehun only slammed the apartment door in reply.
***
A few months had passed since Junmyeon and Yifan’s first breakup, and Sehun was now an university student.
He had graduated with such flying colors that he was offered a scholarship from one of the famous universities in Seoul, but it didn’t require him to stay at the dorm. It once crossed his mind to just stay at the university, away from home, but he didn’t want to leave Junmyeon...at least not yet. Now that the marriage news broke out, he wondered if he should’ve taken the dorm instead. And if Junmyeon said yes...
God, my brother isn’t going to be mine anymore.
It affected Sehun so much that the male had started smoking and drinking. He was never drunk, but sometimes when he got home, Sehun couldn’t hide the fact that he had been drinking. And Junmyeon wasn’t a fool. The older of the two would smell the liquor and heavy smoke on him but he never said anything. Or maybe he wanted to, but Sehun never gave him the chance. He would just walk past him and went to his bedroom like nothing was wrong.
The usual Junmyeon would scold and nag at him in a brotherly way, but not lately. Sehun despised it because Junmyeon always, always gave in to his requests. Even though he acted childish and selfish, he was still just a kid who wanted his brother’s attention just like it used to. He wanted Junmyeon to approach him and ask him what was wrong. But even Junmyeon seemed lost and scared at his behavior.
Maybe it was because of Yifan.
Fuck Wu Yifan and his life.
As if it wasn’t enough, Sehun also started to go home late. Sometimes, he wouldn’t even go home simply because he didn’t want to face Junmyeon. He would have a sleepover in his classmate’s dorm or anywhere else that he could sleep in. And whenever Junmyeon asked him, Sehun would casually answer that he had been studying in a friend’s place and fell asleep. His brother didn’t seem to buy it all the time, but at least Sehun still got home and he said nothing after that. He became even more and more rebellious, and wanted to do even more when Junmyeon still commented nothing in return. The older male was even more speechless when Sehun came home with rainbow haircolor.
Sehun seemed to be the only one who was against the plan of Junmyeon marrying Yifan, because Jongin was the opposite. They had always been the opposite of each other. Sehun snorted at the thought because of course, it was alright for the tanned skin male to approve because he had Kyungsoo. It was easy for him to agree to the proposal because he wasn’t the one who fall in love with his own brother ever since he was little.
Ever since the proposal slipped out of Junmyeon’s mouth, the situation in the dining room had never been delightful. Most of the times it would be Junmyeon who tried to start a conversation with his younger brothers and Sehun would eat his breakfast like he was alone in the room. Jongin was the only person who would reply while Sehun didn’t give a damn about what they were talking about.
It was the same situation every morning. Breakfast seemed to be the only occasion where the three of them met face to face lately. Because other than that, Sehun wouldn’t be home. He swallowed the last piece of his bacon before standing up.
“I’m going.”
Junmyeon stopped talking with Jongin and called out his name. “S-Sehunie...?”
Sehun glanced at Junmyeon in dismay. “What?”
Junmyeon flinched slightly at his gaze but nevertheless, he still went on. “Can you...come home earlier this evening? Yifan and Kyungsoo are coming over for dinner...”
Yifan.
How Sehun loathed both the name and the person. He didn’t say a word and unwillingly shifted his glance to Jongin. The tanned skin male stared firmly at him. Sehun pursed his lips in dislike and shrugged.
“Sure.”
Junmyeon beamed gratefully at him and he sent his brother a small smile. “Thank you. Be careful, Sehunie... See you later.”
***
Whenever Sehun wasn’t doing the rebellious things-smoking, drinking, hair coloring and all that jazz, he would spend most of his days in the library.
His class was done for the day, but he didn’t want to go home just yet. Eventually his time on the library was up and the librarian had to clear her throat and politely ask him to go home. Sehun glanced at his watch and pouted, because it was almost dinner time and dinner time meant he had to go home and meet Yifan and-
Sehun pressed his lips into a thin line.
He disliked Yifan because he knew, deep down inside, the Chinese male was perfect for his brother. That if he ever had to let go, it would be to someone like Yifan. Junmyeon did a great job of not showing his relationship to his younger brothers. He would pick up Yifan’s calls in his room or spoke in a low tone so it wouldn’t bother anyone else, but Sehun could tell that he was actually very happy to date the taller male.
And the way Junmyeon smiled whenever it was Yifan related... God, his brother was so fucking beautiful when he smiled that Sehun wasn’t willing to share it with anyone else.
Especially not to Wu Yifan.
Sehun had no idea where to go so he aimlessly walked around. The blowing wind and the rumbling thunder were obvious enough to tell that it was going to rain soon. Sehun absently kicked an empty can of soda on the street and zipped his jacket up to his chest. His stomach was grumbling and the image of Junmyeon’s cooking made his mouth watered. But no, he wouldn’t go home just yet.
He had been spacing out that when Sehun snapped out of his thoughts, he was somewhere in an unfamiliar environment. The street was almost empty and it was dark. Just as Sehun glanced over his shoulder to observe the place, it started raining. He cursed to himself and was about to turn around and run for the nearest shelter, but then he halted.
Someone was screaming.
Sehun held his breath to listen, but it was a bit hard with the sound of the heavy rain. He shrugged it off because it could be just his imagination. Sehun was about to step away again when he heard another voice.
Someone was definitely screaming.
Sehun looked around as he narrowed his eyes and tried to find the source of the voice. He waited for a moment before widening his eyes because someone had just appeared from the dark alley across the street. A red haired girl was running and she screamed in fear when someone managed to grab her backpack. She struggled for a second before finally able to yank herself away from her attacker.
“HEY!!!”
Sehun’s voice must have been terribly loud that the attacker looked over his shoulder and he let go of the girl’s backpack. The man then ran to the opposite direction, disappearing into the darkness of the alley and left the girl. Sehun ran across the street to approach the girl and he threw a look around, making sure that it was safe before helping the girl to get up.
“Are you alright?”
The girl was trembling badly and she was hugging her body.
Sehun knelt down beside her and cupped her chin with both of his hands. “Hey, are you alright?”
The girl slowly looked up at him and Sehun’s heart ground to a halt.
She was definitely a he.
And he, was definitely pretty.
“I-“ He whispered weakly.
“We don’t have time to chat here,” Sehun said firmly. “Whoever attacked you-he could come back. Can you get up? Let’s get you to a safer place.”
The male feebly nodded before letting himself be pulled up by Sehun. Instinctively, Sehun placed a hand on the male’s shoulder and they started running. He let the red haired male ran first and they kept on running until they reached a familiar street-which was fortunately quite crowded-and stopped at the nearest bus stop.
There were a few other people who also took shelter at the said place and Sehun motioned the other male to sit at one of the empty spots available. He obeyed as he took a seat and Sehun stood in front of him. He noticed the male was still trembling slightly and his palms were pressed onto his mouth.
“Are you alright?”
Sehun put a hand on his shoulder and the male flinched at the gesture. He immediately pulled his hand away.
“Sorry.”
The male looked down as he shook his head apologetically. “No... You...you saved my life. I’m sorry. I’m still...”
Sehun frowned as he heard the broken accent and knelt before him. “Was he about to rob you?”
“I-I don’t think so...” His voice was so small and he looked like he was about to cry.
“Hey, you’re safe now,” Sehun sternly said. “You’re safe now, alright? That’s all that matters.”
The male hesitantly nodded and Sehun stood back up. He fished his hands into his pockets and stared at the street. He did nothing but to stand close to the male, waiting for him to stop trembling. A few people got into the bus as it came. Sehun took a look at his wristwatch and realized it was already past dinner time.
They probably have started without me.
Sehun absentmindedly grabbed his phone, only to find that it was already off. He frowned to himself. Maybe the battery was low. Maybe he turned it off on purpose and he didn’t remember. Sehun tucked his phone back into his pocket and sighed.
What is Junmyeon-hyung cooking for dinner?
Maybe it’s something special.
Because Yifan is coming.
Sehun puffed his cheeks in annoyance and turned to the red haired male. He needed something to distract his mind. “Do you live around here?”
The male blinked blankly at Sehun. “Y-yeah...a few blocks from here...”
“Do you bring any jacket?”
Sehun got a headshake as an answer and he searched for a spare jacket from his bag. It was Junmyeon who advised him to always bring a spare jacket-and he felt kind of grateful for that because it was useful. When he finally found one, he handed it casually to the other male. Sehun got a confused stare in return.
“Use it. I’m gonna walk you home.”
“I...”
“I’m not coming home for dinner,” Sehun said. “Might as well just be responsible and walk you home.”
The male looked hesitant.
“You can hit me if I do anything suspicious.”
It got the other male to smile slightly as he looked down to the jacket. He looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding shyly.
“I’m Sehun, by the way.”
The male tilted his head to a side cutely and gave Sehun a warm smile.
“I’m Luhan...”
***
Junmyeon couldn’t stop glancing and sighing at the clock.
Dinner was ready and served, but Sehun hadn’t gotten home yet. He tried to call his younger brother, but his phone was turned off and it got him to feel a bit worried. Junmyeon brought his nail to his mouth, but before he got to even chew it, Yifan’s hand prevented him from doing so.
“Is Sehun not answering?”
Junmyeon shook his head sadly. “His-his phone is turned off...”
“Oh.” Junmyeon’s expression saddened him and Yifan gave his boyfriend a calming squeeze on his hand before pulling the younger male closer into his arms. “It’s alright. Sehun’s a strong man. He’s a grown up. I’m sure he’ll be home soon.”
Junmyeon’s lips curved upward into a small smile at his boyfriend’s attempt, but still it didn’t ease his mind. He took a deep sigh before burying his head on the taller male’s chest.
Jongin was about to enter the room with Kyungsoo when Yifan spoke.
“What did he say about...us?”
The tanned skin male immediately halted and Kyungsoo bumped right onto his back. Before his boyfriend even got the time to protest, Jongin immediately turned around and pressed his lips against Kyungsoo’s so that the latter wouldn’t cry or anything.
“Us...? Oh. That, you mean,” Jongin heard Junmyeon chuckling nervously. “I... I haven’t told Jongin and Sehun yet. They...especially Sehun, have been very busy lately and...it’s not the best time...”
Jongin slowly broke the kiss but he didn’t pull away. Dammit. It pained him to hear the white lie from Junmyeon and he wished there was something he could do.
“Jongin-ah?” Kyungsoo whispered softly.
Jongin smiled apologetically at Kyungsoo before pecking him once again. “I’m sorry. Come on, it’s time to eat.” He led Kyungsoo into the dining room like he didn’t hear anything and flashed the older men a smile. “Let’s eat, shall we?”
Junmyeon looked puzzled. “B-but Sehun...”
“He’s stuck because of the rain,” Jongin explained as he motioned Kyungsoo to sit by the table. “He told us to go ahead because apparently, he already ate too while waiting for the rain to stop.”
“I...I see,” Junmyeon said reluctantly. “But...but his phone is off.”
The atmosphere became awkward and Jongin did his best to act normal.
“He sent me a text earlier, hyung.”
“Oh.”
“Come on, let’s eat. I’m starving.”
Junmyeon was still not moving even when Kyungsoo and Jongin had occupied their seats. He still seemed unconvinced, but when Yifan extended a hand to him, it was when Junmyeon slowly bloomed into a smile and accepted his boyfriend’s offer.
“Let’s eat, then...”
***
Sehun got home past midnight.
He assumed his brothers had gone to bed, judging from the quietness. Sehun tried to be extra careful and managed to close the door with the smallest sound. He tiptoed lightly across the living room. It must have been his bad luck when suddenly Jongin appeared from nowhere with a judging face and Sehun almost yelped in surprise.
“You scared me,” Sehun grunted quietly.
Jongin only narrowed his eyes at his younger brother before walking over to the couch. Sehun frowned at his behavior as he silently pried his socks off. If you don’t want to talk to me, fine. When the younger of the two was done, he headed straight to his room-
-only to stop halfway when he saw Jongin carefully pulled Junmyeon into his arms.
Sehun literally paralyzed at the view. It was as if his feet were transfixed onto the ground when he saw Junmyeon stirring slightly in Jongin’s arms but he was still in deep slumber. Sehun’s line of sight went to the couch and caught the view of a pillow and a blanket.
Did he wait...for me?
Jongin finally walked past by Sehun. Their shoulders almost bumped and Sehun was sure Jongin would’ve done so if Junmyeon wasn’t in his arms.
“Hyung,” Sehun whispered, feeling a bit unsure.
Jongin adjusted Junmyeon carefully in his arms before reaching for the door knob. He gave Sehun a blank stare before disappearing into the room and shut the door.
It was probably the first time Sehun ever felt guilty.
***
The next morning, Junmyeon seemed terribly relieved at his presence.
“Good morning, Sehunie...”
Sehun only hummed in reply as he settled on his chair. Jongin still said nothing to him and he didn’t really care. It wasn’t like they talked a lot.
Despite everything that happened, Junmyeon still took care of him. The older male had never stopped cooking for him and Junmyeon still even did his laundry. Sehun hastily shoved the omelette into his mouth, clearly showing no intention for chitchatting. He didn’t have any class for the day, but as usual, he didn’t want to stay home. His genius mind actually didn’t require him to study that hard, but he felt a bit peaceful at the library and he planned to spend the whole day there.
“What did you have for dinner last night, Sehunie?”
Sehun looked up from his breakfast questioningly because he actually had nothing for dinner. He only walked Luhan home and after knowing that Luhan was safe and sound at his apartment, he walked around some more to clear his mind. Sehun was about to answer that he didn’t have any, but Jongin interrupted before he was even able to start.
“You ate ramen, right?”
Sehun stopped chewing as he stared at Jongin. They exchanged unreadable glances for a while before Sehun decided to play along. “...yeah.”
“Ramen?” Junmyeon frowned. “Do you have the money, Sehunie?”
Sehun only nodded at that before swallowing the last piece of his food and stood up.
“I’m going.”
Sehun then grabbed his bag and nonchalantly waved his hand as a sign of goodbye before heading to the door. He faintly heard Junmyeon wishing him to be careful and he left.
***
Sehun stretched out his hands as he yawned and nodded knowingly at the librarian. It was late and he needed to go home-yeah, he got it. She grinned in response and walked back to the counter to finish her job. Sehun closed his textbooks and gathered his things as he wondered where should he go after this.
It was funny because a few months ago, at the exact time, Sehun would be already at home and wait for Junmyeon. He wouldn’t eat anything because he wanted Junmyeon to cook something for him. Heck, he would eat anything Junmyeon cooked for him. Sometimes Sehun ignored the tiredness radiated from Junmyeon’s face because he was selfish that way, but it was his right, because Junmyeon was his.
But soon Junmyeon wouldn’t be his anymore.
Junmyeon would probably leave if he ever got married with Yifan. And then what, left the two of them alone? Jongin would be fine because he had Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo could cook and everything-he was a lovely boyfriend material. But what about Sehun? He wouldn’t be fine. Fine was an overstatement.
Sehun was standing in front of the station’s electronic map with his eyes observing every colorful dots. Lately, he had been wondering around until midnight that he felt a bit tired at that and it would be nice to sleep in his bed, but... Sehun groaned to himself when his stomach growled. He should probably get some food first and think later.
“Sehun-ah?”
Sehun lazily turned around and blinked when he was greeted with bright colored locks. The pretty male’s smile widened when his guess was right and instinctively leaned forward to hug him. Sehun froze on his track when he received the unprepared hug.
“It is you!”
“...Luhan.”
Luhan quickly pulled away and blushed in embarrassment. “I’m-I’m sorry...”
Sehun’s expression darkened for a split second because it reminded him of Junmyeon’s hug. Dammit, did everything have to remind him of Junmyeon?
“It’s okay.”
“Are you-are you going home?”
Home.
Sehun looked away before shaking his head. “Not yet.”
“Well then...how about having dinner with me?” Luhan tilted his head to a side cutely and frowned at the empty expression Sehun gave him. “I’m hungry and I owe you for saving my life...” He trailed off when Sehun kept his poker face on and scratched his head sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so rude-“
“Okay.”
Luhan blinked. “Okay?”
Sehun nodded. “Okay. I’ll have dinner with you.”
Luhan’s expression brightened as he broke into a wide smile and Sehun felt his heart aching slightly at that. “Great!”
The smile somehow reminded him of Junmyeon.
***
Luhan turned out to be a great cook.
Sehun felt his mouth watering at the sight of the Chinese food served for him and dug in the moment Luhan said ‘have a nice meal’. He could feel the other male stared at him in amusement. Sehun swallowed down all of the food in a record time and Luhan blinked at how clean his plate was.
“More, Sehun-ah?”
Luhan was a bit hesitant to offer because Sehun already had quite a lot but the latter nodded vigorously and he couldn’t help but smiled. The red haired male placed another portion on Sehun’s place and the latter munched like there was no tomorrow.
“Hey, be careful,” Luhan warned him. “Slow down...”
Sehun abruptly stopped as he stared at Luhan.
Be careful.
Just like the one Junmyeon had always said.
They had a different tone and different expression, but it was used for the same purpose. Sehun continued to chew for another moment before gulping and directed his gaze somewhere else, away from Luhan.
The male somehow reminded him of Junmyeon.
Sehun almost hated it.
“Is this Chinese?” Sehun mumbled quietly as he put the half empty bowl down on the dining table. “Are you Chinese?”
Luhan nodded questioningly. “...yeah.”
“I hate Chinese.”
Luhan seemed a bit taken aback by his statement and his expression dimmed at that. Nonetheless, his smile was still chiseled on his beautiful face-but it was clear that he was feeling otherwise.
Just like Junmyeon.
“Does it mean you hate me, then...?”
Sehun didn’t answer.
“You certainly didn’t care about race when you saved me...right?”
The younger of the two cradled his glass of water in his hand as he continued to chew slowly. His eyes were fixed at the pattern of the glass before directing them back to Luhan.
“Maybe if you start cooking something else...”
Luhan raised his eyebrows before chuckling.
“Deal, I’ll try to make something Korean next time.”
Next time.
“In the meantime,” Luhan leaned forward to catch Sehun’s gaze. “Don’t hate me just yet, okay?”
Sehun felt his heart skipping a beat.
He didn’t understand why.
[2]