Second Confession [2/2]
Title: Second Confession [2/2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KiWoon
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: They met under an unfortunate circumstance. The love, however, grew.
[1]
When Kikwang woke up the next day and the light blue ceiling was the first thing came into sight, he didn’t freak out.
Instead, he sat up straight on the bed and reached for the planner by the nightstand. Surprisingly, Minhyuk was a really organized person. He tend to write things that happened for the day and had written the schedule at least for a month ahead. There were a few dates that were left empty, like today. Kikwang almost squealed in glee because it would mean he had time to find out about what happened but unfortunately, he couldn’t. Because when Daehyun showed up early in his-Minhyuk’s, okay-apartment, it would mean a sudden interview or a sudden photoshoot.
“I get it,” Kikwang said obediently and headed for the bathroom to get ready.
Daehyun stared at him in amazement.
Lee Minhyuk had a killer body.
Kikwang knew it, but for the first time in a few days, it was when he really took the time to observe it. It was both an embarrassment and envious because sadly, it wasn’t his own figure. The pretty male had a pair of perfect legs. Minhyuk had a nice curve of waist-something that a male would rarely have. He had slender collarbones that looked perfect under the light whenever he was clad with a low neck shirt. Minhyuk definitely took care of his fingernails because they were well treated. He even had the nicest skin Kikwang had ever felt.
Kikwang didn’t know if what he had could be counted as a blessing in disguise or it was just entirely misfortune. A very bad misfortune, to be exact. Sure, it got him to meet Dongwoon, the one he had loved all this time, but the male saw him as Minhyuk and definitely not Lee Kikwang. It was definitely acceptable because Minhyuk... Kikwang looked up to see his reflection.
Lee Minhyuk was extremely pretty.
Kikwang had gotten closer with Dongwoon. He wasn’t sure of how Minhyuk’s actual relationship was with the younger male, but Kikwang didn’t want to waste any opportunity to know Dongwoon more.
They were starting to text. They were starting to call each other before sleeping just to say ‘goodnight’ or ‘don’t let the bed bugs bite you’. Just like what Dongwoon had asked, they were starting to spend some time together whenever they weren’t working. It also meant that what they had was special because they were allowed to see each other even if it didn’t relate to work. Kikwang accompanied the taller male to go shopping and he wept inwardly because he would have never thought of choosing clothes for the almighty Son Dongwoon and yet there they were, in a branded store, picking up on new arrival clothes. Kikwang also learned using accessories such as hats and shades to disguise himself (although they didn’t really help, especially in public places because the fans would always, always recognize Dongwoon).
Dongwoon was starting to introduce him to everyone-well, the younger of the two was quite sure that Minhyuk knew them all but since the latter had been acting like a fanboy by squealing and shaking his arm vigorously everytime they met an actor or an actress, he decided to just casually told them, “Hey, you know Minhyuk, right?” (And earned a funny stare in return because it was as if they were saying yeah, they knew his newest movie partner, cut the crap. Kim Himchan even asked them casually if they were sleeping together and Kikwang coughed wildly).
Kikwang never had any problem in making friends, and probably that was why, even though he wasn’t the actual Lee Minhyuk, he managed to have a conversation like old pals. Everyone, including Dongwoon, seemed to notice the change of behavior because Minhyuk was known to be the person who never favored the idea of socializing. He chose to stay home whenever he wasn’t working and was always alone. He didn’t seem to be close even with Daehyun, his former manager.
One day, they were planning to grab lunch in a restaurant at the mall when they stumbled upon Yoon Doojoon. Kikwang squeaked instantly the moment the older male greeted Dongwoon. They were engaged in a lively conversation while Kikwang stood still on his track and quickly browsed the internet for Yoseob’s facebook account from his phone.
“Oh, I didn’t know you’re with Dongwoon,” Doojoon said when he realized Kikwang’s presence. “Hello, Minhyuk.”
“H-hyung,” Kikwang stuttered and without preamble, showed Doojoon a picture in his phone. “Cute, right?”
Both Doojoon and Dongwoon blinked for a moment at the picture. “...yes?”
“He’s-he’s a really close friend,” Kikwang breathed. “If-if it’s alright, would you be so kind to meet him one day?”
“Are you a matchmaker now?” Doojoon laughed but slowly stopped when he realized Kikwang wasn’t joking. He looked awkward for a second before narrowing his eyes to take a good look at the picture. “Hm...not bad. ...as a matter of fact, he is quite cute. I don’t mind. I guess.”
“Yes!” Kikwang pumped a fist into the air and both men gaped at his sudden reaction. “I-I mean...yeay? I promise you, Yoseob will be the perfect match for you-“
“Aren’t you still dating that model, Hyunseung?” Dongwoon asked with a frown.
Doojoon shrugged. “He dumped me a few weeks ago. I think it’s for that Yong photographer.”
“Oh. Sorry to hear that, hyung.”
“It’s alright. We’re not meant to be anyway. I gotta dash, though. See you around, guys,” Doojoon calmly smiled at them before waving a hand and walked away.
Dongwoon whistled when Doojoon had finally disappeared from their peripheral visions and Kikwang turned to him with his brows raised.
“What?”
“Nothing. It’s just...you’re...really different nowadays.”
“I am?”
“Yeah.”
“Is it-is it not good?” Kikwang turned a bit pale because he didn’t want Dongwoon to hate him.
“Quite the contrary,” Dongwoon simply replied as he ruffled Kikwang’s hair affectionately. “I like it.”
“You...you like it?”
Dongwoon’s lips curved upward. “Yeah. Now let’s grab some food. I’m starving.”
Kikwang dumbly nodded as he walked behind Dongwoon. He couldn’t help but smiling at the affection the taller male showed him. His heart beat so fast at everything involving Dongwoon. Kikwang felt he had fallen deeper for the male that he wasn’t sure of what to do anymore. It wasn’t supposed to happen. It wasn’t supposed to, and yet why it was so hard to let him go? It might have been easier to just push Dongwoon away. But yet he let him invaded his personal space.
He was lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realize Dongwoon was silently extending a hand backward at him.
Can I...?
Kikwang bit his lip before reluctantly reaching out to Dongwoon’s hand. If it was a mistake, Dongwoon would surely just separate their hands and Kikwang could pretend that nothing was wrong. But when their fingers met, the taller of the two slowly, consciously, carefully lacing them together. Kikwang’s breath became ragged and wriggled his hand slightly, but it was obvious that Dongwoon didn’t plan to let go.
And neither did Kikwang.
***
Kikwang had lost count how long had it been since he woke up in Minhyuk’s body.
But each day was filled with Dongwoon’s smile.
Both of them were free from any activity for the rest of the week. They did a lot of outdoor activities but when Dongwoon was too lazy to go anywhere, Kikwang would just rent a movie and they would watch it together in Minhyuk’s apartment. Sometimes Dongwoon came bringing takeouts for dinner. The occasion was repeated daily that without them realizing, it had become a routine.
Kikwang wanted to do some grocery shopping that day, but Dongwoon had a photoshoot in the morning so they planned to do it sometime later in the afternoon. He was waiting patiently for Dongwoon to pick him up when suddenly it rained hard. The male bit his lip worriedly as he gazed outside the window. The weather was scary and it was probably better if they stayed home and waited until the rain subsided. Or they could always go next time... Kikwang decided to text Dongwoon the options they had and around fifteen minutes later, a very soaked Dongwoon showed up in front of the door.
“D-Dongwoon-ah??”
“Hi, hyung. I was already on my way here when you texted.”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” Kikwang said in horror as he ushered Dongwoon inside. “You could’ve-you could’ve just texted me you have arrived and waited in the car, you didn’t have to. I wouldn’t mind at all-“
“I would,” Dongwoon interrupted his rambling. “I wanted to see you.”
Kikwang deadpanned at his remark before casually turning around to grab a towel for Dongwoon. He tried to hide his blush by busying himself, but now that he thought about it, he had no idea where to look for a dry towel. He had been using the one in the bathroom...considering that Minhyuk was an organized person, he should’ve have some in the bathroom... Kikwang panickly looked for one but found nothing in the said place. He then moved to his bedroom, to the large dressing room Minhyuk had and searched for quite a while.
“Are you alright? Want me to help?” Dongwoon called out from the living room.
“No, I’m fine-just give me a minute,” Kikwang shouted back and sighed in relief when he finally saw a cabinet full of bathrobes and towels. He hastily grabbed a bathrobe and a towel before walking back to the living room. To Dongwoon. “You should take a warm shower-you’ll catch a cold...”
“I’m okay. I have a strong immune system.”
“But...” Kikwang frowned as he willingly dabbed the towel softly on Dongwoon’s hair. “It would be better to just-“
He fell silent the moment he felt Dongwoon’s hands on his wrists. The latter didn’t mean to halt the movement, but Kikwang instinctively did. Dongwoon’s hands were cold. He slowly looked up and when their gazes met, Kikwang felt his whole world stopped spinning. The tall, handsome male tilted his chin down with his fingers and Kikwang’s lips slightly trembled at that.
“I miss you,” Dongwoon muttered softly before pulling Kikwang closer to him. With their positions, Dongwoon had his face buried on Kikwang-Minhyuk’s flat stomach and his arms were wrapped possessively around his waist. Kikwang almost choked because it was hard for him to breathe with Dongwoon pressing so close, feeling the younger male’s nose against the fabric that covered his body. “It’s just a few days and yet...I miss you so badly like we haven’t seen each other in a month.”
Kikwang let out a terrified gasp when Dongwoon suddenly pulled him onto his lap and he had his arms around the latter’s shoulders by instinct. Their lips hovered dangerously close, and oh my God even when he soaked, he still smelled so damn good.
“Can I...?”
Dongwoon asked but their lips brushed slightly, ghosting against one another.
Kikwang felt his soul shrinking.
He let Dongwoon carefully pressed their lips together and everything broke apart inside Kikwang. All of his dreams, all of his wishes, they were all worth it for just this one moment. To be with Dongwoon was something he had ever dreamed ever since he laid his eyes on the handsome male. It was probably-no, it was definitely a dream came true. It was such a tender, naive kiss at first before Kikwang kissed back. He could feel Dongwoon slowly smiled into the kiss and it escalated into something more passionate, but still within the range of pure innocence.
The kiss wasn’t tainted with lust.
It was filled with longing and desperation.
And love.
Kikwang was in love.
Dongwoon’s hand trailed from Kikwang’s waist and slipped underneath his shirt. The latter broke the kiss as Dongwoon’s cold hand on the skin seemed to freeze all of his bodily veins, making it all go numb. Kikwang moaned weakly when it moved to his back, to pull him even closer if that was even possible. Dongwoon ran his teeth on the soft, tickling parts of Kikwang’s neck before crashing their lips again, more intense than the ones they had earlier.
Kikwang found himself starting to touch Dongwoon too, the same way he touched him. Their tongues danced, their fingers ran across each other’s skin, their muffled voices joined as one. Kikwang had never thought it would this intoxicating just to be held close in one’s arms. He wanted to give himself up, to let Dongwoon savor him completely through every inch of his body, to feel him, to let him know that it was really happening and it wasn’t a dream.
Everything was going perfect until Dongwoon said his name.
“Minhyuk...”
All hell broke loose as Kikwang snapped his eyes open.
The male let out a horrified gasp and detached himself off of Dongwoon’s grasp. Kikwang’s face was still flushed from all of their make out session and he cried in shame. He shut his eyes closed and tears were starting to fall down his cheeks.
It was just a wishful thinking.
No matter how happy he was for everything that was happened, he was not Lee Minhyuk. He was merely a Lee Kikwang, who was somehow trapped miraculously inside the pretty male’s body. He was desperately in love with Dongwoon, but he wasn’t the one Dongwoon saw. It was Minhyuk.
It was always Minhyuk.
“Hey,” Dongwoon tried to reach out to him but Kikwang cried disapprovingly. “I’m sorry-I was going too fast-“
“N-no, it wasn’t-wasn’t that,” Kikwang choked back a sob as he took another step backward, away from Dongwoon.
But the taller male wasn’t a fool. He knew a rejection when he saw one. Dongwoon’s orbs were filled with untold hurt when he watched Kikwang took another step back. “Then what is it?”
“I-“ Kikwang paused unsurely. Should he tell him the truth? Should he not? But as Kikwang’s line of sight went back to Dongwoon, he knew he had to be honest. “I’m not...him.”
Dongwoon seemed genuinely confused. “You’re not who?”
“M...Minhyuk.”
“What...?”
“I’m not Minhyuk,” Kikwang finally cried in frustration. He wished there was a better way to explain all of this. “I’m not...”
There was a painful silence hanging between them and the sound of rumbling thunder somewhere far away didn’t able to break it. None of them said a word. Kikwang’s ragged breath was the only thing that was heard in the living room. After a moment that seemed like an eternity, Dongwoon gave him a disbelief stare before finally had the strength to snort.
“That...is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.”
“B-but it’s true,” Kikwang sobbed desperately. “I’m not Lee Minhyuk. Physically yes, but-“
“This is insane,” Dongwoon facepalmed and stood up abruptly. “If you just didn’t want it, you could’ve just said so. It’s much, much better than stating that you’re-you’re what, not Minhyuk? This kind of joke gets old, hyung. It’s not even funny anymore.” Dongwoon sighed in disappointment as he shook his head. “How stupid of me to think that you want this too.”
“Dongwoon, wait-“
But Dongwoon didn’t bother to wait for any other explanation. He threw the towel aside and turned around without looking back. Kikwang winced at the sound of the front door getting slammed hard and gazed outside the window.
The rain was getting harder.
He had never felt so brokenhearted before.
***
Kikwang fell asleep that night after praying that when he woke up, he would wake up in his real form.
He prayed that the light blue ceiling wasn’t the first thing that he looked. He wanted it to be his usual room, the one with lots of Dongwoon’s posters hanging on the wall. He wished Woonie-the teddybear he had-would be right beside him when he woke up and Kikwang would squeeze it lightly, just like he did every morning.
It wasn’t granted.
He still woke up as Lee Minhyuk.
Kikwang was too tired of everything that he did nothing. He wanted to cry. He wanted to be angry. But what good would it be if he did that? Kikwang laid lifelessly on the bed with his eyes fixed to the ceiling, wondering to himself. What did he do to deserve this? What did he want? What did he wished for? Kikwang sighed in frustration and curled himself into a ball.
Think. Think. What did you do that night?
It didn’t seem like he had done something extraordinary. He was just being himself, the usual fanboy. Kikwang had just bought Beautiful Night dvd with Yoseob. He couldn’t wait to get home and watch it because he could never had enough of Son Dongwoon.
Dongwoon.
The memories of their kisses lingered and Kikwang stifled a sob.
His chest hurt.
It was funny, because he wished to meet Dongwoon and when he did, he couldn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t do anything, simply because it wasn’t his place in the first place. God, why was it so hard? He just wanted to go back to his life and continued spazzing over Dongwoon...he was glad to be Lee Kikwang. He wasn’t a high end model or actor, but he had his friends and a good life and he wasn’t happy. He just wished...
It stunned Kikwang like a electricity.
He wished he could meet Dongwoon.
It was his wish before everything went white and then he woke up in Minhyuk’s body.
Kikwang gasped. He remembered. It was his wish.
Then what did Minhyuk wish for...?
The male suddenly had a strength to move and he looked around in panic. His eyes went to the branded laptop on the table. Kikwang had turned it on a few weeks ago unintentionally but didn’t find anything of it. Not even porn-just in case, Kikwang sheepishly thought. He tried to see any document regarding Minhyuk’s personal file like a diary, a journal or some sort but it only contained folders which consisted of pictures of the famous male with his friends. The folders were just too many and it wasn’t exactly the best time to be getting interested in his circle line of friends. That, and a few kpop music videos. It seemed like Minhyuk was following a group named BTOB.
There was nothing suspicious in the phone, either.
Kikwang helplessly looked around for some more clues, but found nothing. He sighed in resignation as he threw himself on the couch. The male puffed his cheeks and exhaled deeply through his nose.
Think, Kikwang. Think. Minhyuk is an organized person. He probably keeps everything in a place-
Kikwang jolted up in realization.
The planner.
He immediately rushed back to the bedroom and reached for the planner on the nightstand. It had always been there. Kikwang had read it a few times but he never moved it. He breathlessly opened the pages and saw Minhyuk’s neat handwriting here and there on several dates. Dinner with Director Hong. Photoshoot for BAP Magazine. Tried the new restaurant downtown with Jongsuk and he talked about his love life with Woobin. Envy. So what Daehyun said the other day was right-Minhyuk did hang out with them. Kikwang read a few more dates. He was about to give up because there didn’t seem to be anything wrong and held his breath at the page right before his accident.
April 14th, 2013.
The male slowly brought a hand to his mouth.
Minhyuk had written, I want to die.
Kikwang gasped as his mind recalled that there was an empty bottle of sleeping pills right when he woke up the other day. Could it be that Minhyuk was trying to kill himself? But...but why...? He slowly shook his head in disbelief, trying to figure out what happened when something flew out of the planner. It fell onto the carpeted floor and Kikwang frowned as he took the piece of paper.
It was a photo.
A photo of Minhyuk with a taller male. The male wasn’t as handsome as Dongwoon (but of course he was being biased), but he definitely had the nicest smile.
Kikwang flipped the picture absentmindedly and there was Minhyuk’s neat handwriting on the back, saying MinKwang <3. He pondered for a second where he had heard the name before and gasped dramatically as realization dawned upon him. Kikwang flipped to the next page in the planner. 10:30 à Eunkwang. Eunkwang. His manager that had something to take care of and the very same person who had asked Daehyun to cover for him.
It fit.
All of the events fit.
But something felt wrong.
If he was here, alive, did it mean that Minhyuk was trapped in his comatose body...?
Kikwang mentally berated himself because he completely forgot about his real body. He hesitantly took Minhyuk’s phone and dialed Yoseob’s number. Kikwang quickly disconnected because he wasn’t sure of what to say. What should he say this time? But Kikwang needed to do something. So he braved himself to redial once again and waited patiently before his friend picked up on the other line.
“Hello?”
“Yoseob-ah!” Kikwang wanted to cry at the sound of his voice because well, he missed him so much. He almost told the other male that he was Kikwang, but then he remembered at how their first phone call ended and decided to try it the other way. “Um, I mean...Yoseob...shii?”
“...who is this?”
“This...” Kikwang trailed off. “Uh... This is...a friend of Kikwang.”
There was a pause. “A friend of Kikwang?”
“Y-yes. I heard the other day that he had an accident?”
There was another pause. “Yeah...he did.”
“Is he...still...unconscious?”
“He is. Made it out the surgery room, but not his trance.”
Kikwang’s lips quivered. “He’s still...dying?”
“He’s not dying. He’s just...unconscious. Who is this again?”
“I-I see. Thank you for your information, Yoseob-shii.”
“Hey, wait-“
Kikwang disconnected the call before Yoseob could hear him sobbing.
***
Dongwoon had turned his phone off for the whole day.
Kikwang sighed in defeat as he tried to contact the other male for the umpteenth time and his phone still wasn’t active until noon. He was desperate in both explaining and apologizing that he ended up asking for Dongwoon’s address from Daehyun. The brown haired male gave him a funny look but he told him anyway. Kikwang wondered if he should tell Daehyun, but no, he couldn’t. When he got to the said address, the male knocked rapidly on Dongwoon’s door and rang the doorbell for quite a while but no one came to open the door. Kikwang sniffled as he weakly pressed his forehead against the wooden door.
Do you really hate me that much, Dongwoon-ah?
Did you peek and when you knew it was me, you didn’t want to open it?
Did you...
“Minhyuk-ah?”
Kikwang was pulled out of his thoughts at the voice calling out his name. He turned around and spotted Dongwoon was standing in front of him with a formal suit. His jaw involuntarily dropped because dammit he looked very handsome-not the best time, Kikwang.
“H-hi,” Kikwang stammered and awkwardly raised a hand.
Dongwoon looked nonchalant as he went for his keys. “Hey.”
Kikwang stepped aside when Dongwoon unlocked his door and walked inside. He wasn’t invited, but the door wasn’t closed either. Kikwang sunk his teeth on his lower lip hesitantly. “C-can I...come in?”
Dongwoon didn’t answer for a split moment. He finally nodded as a reply and when Kikwang entered the living room, he closed the door behind them and crossed his arms on his chest. “What is it?”
Kikwang’s heart instantly broke into pieces at how cold Dongwoon’s tone was toward him. “I...I’m sorry. I know you’re upset, Dongwoon-ah...”
Dongwoon didn’t answer.
“I...please,” Kikwang pleaded sadly. “I just...need someone to talk to and I can’t talk to Daehyun...please...”
Dongwoon threw Kikwang an unreadable gaze before loosening his tie and motioned him to the kitchen. “Might be better over tea. What do you like?”
“What do I like...as Minhyuk, or as myself...?”
Dongwoon stopped moving and gave Kikwang a serious look. Kikwang’s resolve began to waver but no, he planned to tell the taller male the truth, no matter how much it hurt.
“I am...really not Lee Minhyuk,” Kikwang whispered and tears were threatening to spill over. He sucked in deep breath to prevent the tears from falling, but it just made it worse. “I-I am not lying, Dongwoon-ah, I swear to you-“
“Hey,” Dongwoon finally closed the gap between them as he reached for Kikwang’s arm. “Calm down.”
Kikwang whimpered sadly as he lowered his face. How could he calm down? The man of his life was right before his eyes but he couldn’t have him. Kikwang was led to the couch and both of them sat face to face. Dongwoon tilted his chin to force him staring into his eyes. Kikwang sniffed.
“Are you serious?”
Kikwang nodded.
“...bodyswitch?”
“I believe-I believe so,” Kikwang dragged a hand down his face and breathed deeply. He carefully unzipped his jacket and took the planner out of his pocket before handing it over to the handsome male. “I think-I think...it was all because of this.”
Dongwoon took the handed item to him with a frown. “A picture of you and Eunkwang-hyung? I mean...” He eyed Kikwang strangely. “Minhyuk...”
“Yeah. And-and this,” Kikwang showed him the page where Minhyuk wrote that he wanted to die. “There must be something wrong between them that made Minhyuk had a stupid thought like that. When I woke up, there-there was this empty bottle of sleeping pills... I assumed he took all of them. He wished he would die, and I, at the same time, wished to meet you...it’s just...”
Kikwang stopped talking the moment Dongwoon positioned a hand over his cheek.
“You wished to meet...me?”
Kikwang couldn’t bring himself to answer and looked down shyly. If the situation wasn’t so awkward, he would’ve made a new tweet consisted of keyboard smash.
Dongwoon seemed to be in awe. “Wow... You’re a fan.”
A very hardcore fan.
“...fangirl?”
Kikwang’s eyes widened at that. Did he act like a girl for the past few weeks?
“Fanboy,” Dongwoon chuckled. “I like that.”
Kikwang snorted into a smile shyly and it soon morphed into embarrassment. He nervously brought a hand to the first button on his shirt and Dongwoon, as always, noticed this habit. “I really...thought that you would make a great actor back then...”
“Thank you,” Dongwoon smiled slightly. “Glad your prediction was right.”
Kikwang chuckled earnestly and sighed . They fell silent for a moment, each was lost in their own minds. It was Dongwoon who fractured the calm first.
“I also have a confession to make...”
Kikwang slowly lifted up his face. “Yes...?”
Dongwoon pursed his lips and even though he seemed uncertain, he spoke anyway. “I had a feeling...that you weren’t Minhyuk.”
Kikwang blinked. “You did...?”
“Yeah.”
“H-how?”
Dongwoon looked thoughtful as he looked away. “I think...it was because of your gaze. Minhyuk never stared right at me, unless it was for the scenes. We talked, but...it was only...preambles and courtesies between actors, you know? But you...” He turned to Kikwang. “You stared right into my eyes.”
Kikwang went speechless and he could feel his face was burning.
“I guess I just didn’t want to believe it...”
Dongwoon seemed sad for a brief second and the expression dissipated instantly, but Kikwang caught it.
Are you...in love with Minhyuk?
Kikwang could hear the sound of his heart shattering.
“And if what you said was true, I think I know why it happened.” Dongwoon doubled over to reach for a magazine on the table. Kikwang noticed it was the same entertainment magazine he saw when he was with Yoseob. Dongwoon quickly searched for the page he had been looking for and showed it to Kikwang. “A few weeks ago, this picture got out to the media.”
Kikwang stared at the picture and felt his heart shattered even more. “Ah...t-the one where you guys kissed?”
Dongwoon snorted. “Our lips didn’t even touch. Did you remember that time when you said people were staring? And I replied, maybe it was because of our picture was everywhere and yet, we didn’t make any statement.”
“Uh...yeah. In that fancy restaurant...”
“We actually had no idea who took the picture. It was probably photoshopped...or maybe one of the reporters just managed to seize a good opportunity of us leaning closer to each other.”
There was a huge feeling of relief washed over Kikwang’s body because his Dongwoon didn’t do it on purpose, but he still didn’t understand how it related to Minhyuk wanting to die.
“It somehow affected Minhyuk and Eunkwang-hyung’s relationship. Eunkwang-hyung’s really responsible of his job and he takes care of Minhyuk very well. I feel jealous at their relationship, though. It’s not that I want the same to happen to me and my manager Jintaek-ugh, please. Eunkwang is very...how should I say this, protective? So when you showed up that day and Daehyun was covering for his work, I just assumed that the picture was the cause of everything. I even asked Jintaek-hyung and yeah, he said Eunkwang resigned being your-um, Minhyuk’s manager.”
“Minhyuk’s...in love with his own manager?” Kikwang looked down at the picture of Minhyuk and Eunkwang in his hand. They indeed seemed so happy-their smiles showed it all.
“They were simply just manager and artist. They were probably never going to be more. Eunkwang tried to be professional while Minhyuk...well, I think he just didn’t care with all that. He wanted more. But probably when Eunkwang-hyung told him that he was going to leave him-quit his job, I think...Minhyuk was depressed.”
“That is awful,” Kikwang whispered. “Dongwoon-ah...what should we do?”
Dongwoon gazed at the empty space beside the flower vase on the table. His lips were pressed together, obviously he was thinking. “Maybe...maybe you should confess to Eunkwang-hyung.”
Kikwang blinked for a moment before his face brightened like a light bulb “Maybe-maybe I should. Maybe that way-by conveying Minhyuk’s true feeling to Eunkwang, I will get back to my body. It’s just a theory, but it’s...it’s worth a try. Oh my God, we should do that! You are a genius ” Kikwang’s ecstatic smile faltered when he realized Dongwoon wasn’t as happy as him. “Dongwoon-ah?”
“What if you don’t...?”
Kikwang hung his head dejectedly at that. Dongwoon was right. It would be good if it worked, but what if it didn’t? Both of them became gloomy but then Kikwang shook his head, trying to be positive with himself. “We’ll never know until we try! I mean, I am blessed to have this killer body for a few weeks but it’s not my real body. I don’t want to...live in here forever. I miss my family. I miss my friends...”
“You make it sound like being trapped in there is a bad thing.”
“It is bad! What if suddenly Minhyuk got another movie and I ruin everything because my acting sucks??”
“I can always teach you.”
“I am an awful student, I will fail every subject you give me-“
Kikwang didn’t manage to finish his sentence because all of a sudden, Dongwoon had pulled him into his arms. His words were muffled against Dongwoon’s shoulder. “D-Dongwoon-ah...?”
“...it got you to meet me. At least.”
Kikwang closed his eyes as he grabbed a fistful of Dongwoon’s shirt. “That is correct...”
“Can I...ask you something?”
“Go ahead.”
“Did you...regret our kiss?”
How could he?
“Not at all,” Kikwang whispered firmly and tightened his grip on Dongwoon. “I did not regret any of our kiss...or any of the thing happened between us, for that matter. If...even if there is any, it’s just...the only reason I regret is that why does it have to be in this form...” He grabbed Dongwoon’s sleeve so hard that he was afraid he might tore it apart. “I’m gonna miss you.”
Dongwoon took a long pause to answer and Kikwang thought he didn’t need one.
But the tall male did.
“I’m gonna miss your bubbly personality, too.”
It got Kikwang to pull away and gave the tall male a sincere smile. Both of them stared at each other longingly but it was awkward for them to kiss, now that Dongwoon knew it wasn’t really Minhyuk inside the body. He ended up kissing Kikwang’s forehead.
“Let me hug you for a little longer,” Dongwoon murmured and pulled Kikwang again into his embrace. “And if it’s any consolation...when we kissed that time, I also didn’t feel right. It was like kissing someone else’s boyfriend...”
Kikwang giggled at the remark and savored their last moment together by lacing their fingers and inhaling Dongwoon’s faint scent. They stayed close like that for a while. Both were afraid if any of them let go, it would all be broken. But eventually it would, so that was why they held on to each other longingly like there was no tomorrow.
“If it’s not working...”, Dongwoon paused.
Kikwang waited. “...what are you going to say?”
There was probably a lot-a thousand things that Dongwoon wanted to say. There was always a possibility that their theory was wrong and everything didn’t go the way it was planned, but they should try. Dongwoon didn’t want to love Minhyuk physically but it wasn’t the real Minhyuk inside. If it wasn’t working...
“Nothing,” Dongwoon finally said. “Let’s get you to Eunkwang-hyung.”
***
Kikwang didn’t know where Eunkwang lived, so he had to call Daehyun. He swore the brown haired male was a bit flabbergasted at his question but then he said something along the lines of ‘kiss and make up, the two of you’. Daehyun definitely knew what was going on between the two.
The trip to Eunkwang’s apartment was painfully silent. Both Kikwang and Dongwoon were anxious. Would it or would it not work...? Dongwoon didn’t say anything, but as he reduced he speed and the car slowly came to a stop, Kikwang knew it was it.
He was going to have to say goodbye.
“So...here we are,” Dongwoon started.
Kikwang swallowed thickly before nodding. “Yeah.”
“...I hope your theory’s right.”
“I hope so, too.”
“I...will wait for you out here. ...if it’s still you, you know where to find me.”
“Okay.”
“It was...fun. All these weeks. It’s been fun.”
“Me too, Dongwoon-ah. It was my pleasure.”
Their casual conversations made Kikwang wanted to cry. He almost couldn’t take it anymore. The longer he stayed, the harder it would be for him to let go. Breathlessly, Kikwang hastily unfastened his seat belt and planned to just run out of the car without looking back. He visibly tensed when he felt Dongwoon grabbed his arm and he felt suffocated because his eyes were getting teary and he had a hard time breathing.
“Hey,” Dongwoon said quietly.
Kikwang didn’t look at Dongwoon.
“Hey, look at me.”
Kikwang reluctantly did as told, but their eye contact didn’t last very long.
“I never got to know your real name...”
Why was his real name mattered, Kikwang wanted to ask, but he didn’t believe himself to be able to do such thing. He licked his dry lips before breaking into an inadequate smile. “Lee Kikwang.”
“Kikwang,” Dongwoon repeated. “It’s a nice name.”
“I don’t have any appearance like Minhyuk, though,” Kikwang crinkled his nose. “The moment you see me, you probably thought you should stick to Minhyuk...”
“I would never do that,” Dongwoon swept Kikwang’s bangs away too affectionately that it hurt. “...I’ll find you.”
Kikwang’s lips trembled slightly at that. “You...you don’t have to.”
“I’m gonna find you, Lee Kikwang.”
“But you’ll never know which one I am.”
“I will know. My heart will tell me.”
Kikwang had enough. He leaned forward to hug Dongwoon and hid his head on the latter’s chest. Kikwang started to sob softly because he didn’t wan’t to let go. He didn’t want to go inside and face Eunkwang. He didn’t want to leave Dongwoon’s side. He didn’t want to... Their fingers intertwined again for the umpteenth time that night. Probably for the last time.
“I love you, Dongwoon-ah,” Kikwang whispered with all of his heart. “I love you.”
Dongwoon held him even tighter.
“I love you more, Kikwang...”
***
Everything was like a dream.
Kikwang woke up with IVs strapped into his arms and a crying family when he stuttered his eyes open.
The last thing he remembered was the face of Eunkwang and the familiarity feeling that resurfaced. That moment, Kikwang just knew that Minhyuk responded to the image of his beloved manager and everything went hazy after that.
Yoseob apologized to him in tears because he didn’t know what he would do if Kikwang would never wake up. The last thing they did was arguing and he was glad he was still given the chance to apologize. Sohyun sobbed by his side because if he didn’t wake up, she wouldn’t know who to ask to accompany her to TeenTop concert and Kikwang blinked at that (but sure, he would go with her to see Chunji and L.Joe). His parents were just glad that he finally gained his consciousness back and they couldn’t stop telling him how worried they were.
He had his family and he had his friends. Kikwang was supposed to be happy because this time, his wish was granted. But he couldn’t help but feeling a bit empty. Nonetheless, Kikwang was grateful to have his own body back.
Two days after he snapped awake, he was allowed to go home by the doctor. A few weeks later, Kikwang had fully recovered. Fortunately, he didn’t have internal damage or broken bones, but Yoseob had asked him once if the accident did something to his head because he stopped spazzing about Son Dongwoon. Kikwang only smiled weakly at him in return. His heart was full with his love for Dongwoon that he couldn’t even express it anymore.
The entertainment world was shocked by the sudden news from Lee Minhyuk. He announced that he was finally engaged with his manager and explained that he had nothing with Son Dongwoon. Kikwang smiled to himself when he stumbled upon the confession in a magazine. He felt delighted that everything went alright between Minhyuk and Eunkwang. Kikwang wondered if Dongwoon felt the same thing.
They were in the middle of a class when Dongwoon suddenly opened the door.
All eyes immediately turned to him and the lecturer in front of the white board was neglected.
Kikwang almost choked.
Yoseob and Sohyun looked as shocked as him. All of them were, to be exact. How the hell a famous celebrity such as Son Dongwoon dropped by specifically to their class? Some girls were squealing when Dongwoon peered over to their direction and Kikwang felt his heart sinking.
“What’s he doing here?” Sohyun whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Good question,” Dongwoon replied to Sohyun’s question as he stepped inside the class. He bowed in respect at the lecturer who also had her jaw dropped at his appearance. “I am really sorry to bother your lecturing, but this is the only spare time I can make this week so... I’ll just have ten-fifteen minutes max of your time.” She nodded dumbly at him and Dongwoon flashed his megawatt smile. “Thank you. It won’t take long.”
Kikwang felt his heartbeat increasing unnaturally fast. Are-are you going to do what I think you’re going to do?
Dongwoon cleared his throat. “I’m here for the one person who had stolen my heart.”
SHIT YOU AREEEEEEE ASKAKSJHSSA b-but wait, stole your heart?
“His name is...well, all I know is that he’s attending this class. I don’t even have a clue what he looks like. I just-I found this information through a facebook page of his friend.”
Kikwang was going to laugh and be extremely happy for Yoseob because apparently Doojoon remembered his name well enough. Dongwoon must have searched through Yoseob’s account. But then his nervousness resurfaced and with so many people, he wasn’t sure if Dongwoon was going to be able to spot him through the crowd. Unless that he said the name who he was looking for. But if he did then...what would happen? What if Dongwoon find out and he wasn’t as pretty as Minhyuk? What would he do then? Would he leave and pretended that it was just a mistake?
He was so scared that unconsciously, Kikwang brought a hand to the first button of his shirt and squeezed it lightly over and over again.
Please just leave...please...
It might be a simple movement to the others, but to Dongwoon, it wasn’t.
“Lee Kikwang.”
Everyone gasped in surprise and Kikwang deadpanned in his seat, like a boy that was caught stealing in the candy store. Dongwoon took a few steps forward and stood in front of him. Kikwang sagged in his seat, trying to drown himself even more if it was possible. He could hear his friends were whispering around him and he felt like digging a hole and die in embarrassment.
“Lee Kikwang.”
Dongwoon tilted Kikwang’s chin upwards with two fingers and their eyes met.
“D-Dongwoon-ah,” he whispered in disbelief. “B-but how?”
Dongwoon bloomed into a fond smile and he seemed pleased with himself.
“I told you I would find you.”
End.
Dongwoon excused Kikwang from the class and the lecturer, clearly paralyzed by the fact that a very handsome, famous actor came into her class could only give him another dumb nod.
Their hands were locked tightly together and Kikwang thought he would die from suffocation.
“D-Dongwoon-ah-“
“Wait,” Dongwoon suddenly said as he stopped walking. Kikwang’s nose successfully bumped onto his back but didn’t feel any pain at the moment. The taller male turned around with a determined look chiseled on his face. “I have to test it first.”
“Test what-“
Kikwang didn’t manage to finish his question because Dongwoon had already pressed their lips together. His knees became weak and he almost stumbled backward if Dongwoon didn’t catch him on time. After a minute (or two? Or...?), Dongwoon finally broke the kiss by pulling away, but their lips didn’t get very far. Kikwang could still feel Dongwoon’s breath ghosting on his lips.
His first kiss.
“Wow,” Dongwoon breathed.
“W-what?”
“That...felt so damn right.”
“B-but...I’m-I’m ugly...”
“No,” Dongwoon firmly shook his head before meeting their lips again. “No, you’re perfect.”
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KiWoon
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: They met under an unfortunate circumstance. The love, however, grew.
[1]
When Kikwang woke up the next day and the light blue ceiling was the first thing came into sight, he didn’t freak out.
Instead, he sat up straight on the bed and reached for the planner by the nightstand. Surprisingly, Minhyuk was a really organized person. He tend to write things that happened for the day and had written the schedule at least for a month ahead. There were a few dates that were left empty, like today. Kikwang almost squealed in glee because it would mean he had time to find out about what happened but unfortunately, he couldn’t. Because when Daehyun showed up early in his-Minhyuk’s, okay-apartment, it would mean a sudden interview or a sudden photoshoot.
“I get it,” Kikwang said obediently and headed for the bathroom to get ready.
Daehyun stared at him in amazement.
Lee Minhyuk had a killer body.
Kikwang knew it, but for the first time in a few days, it was when he really took the time to observe it. It was both an embarrassment and envious because sadly, it wasn’t his own figure. The pretty male had a pair of perfect legs. Minhyuk had a nice curve of waist-something that a male would rarely have. He had slender collarbones that looked perfect under the light whenever he was clad with a low neck shirt. Minhyuk definitely took care of his fingernails because they were well treated. He even had the nicest skin Kikwang had ever felt.
Kikwang didn’t know if what he had could be counted as a blessing in disguise or it was just entirely misfortune. A very bad misfortune, to be exact. Sure, it got him to meet Dongwoon, the one he had loved all this time, but the male saw him as Minhyuk and definitely not Lee Kikwang. It was definitely acceptable because Minhyuk... Kikwang looked up to see his reflection.
Lee Minhyuk was extremely pretty.
Kikwang had gotten closer with Dongwoon. He wasn’t sure of how Minhyuk’s actual relationship was with the younger male, but Kikwang didn’t want to waste any opportunity to know Dongwoon more.
They were starting to text. They were starting to call each other before sleeping just to say ‘goodnight’ or ‘don’t let the bed bugs bite you’. Just like what Dongwoon had asked, they were starting to spend some time together whenever they weren’t working. It also meant that what they had was special because they were allowed to see each other even if it didn’t relate to work. Kikwang accompanied the taller male to go shopping and he wept inwardly because he would have never thought of choosing clothes for the almighty Son Dongwoon and yet there they were, in a branded store, picking up on new arrival clothes. Kikwang also learned using accessories such as hats and shades to disguise himself (although they didn’t really help, especially in public places because the fans would always, always recognize Dongwoon).
Dongwoon was starting to introduce him to everyone-well, the younger of the two was quite sure that Minhyuk knew them all but since the latter had been acting like a fanboy by squealing and shaking his arm vigorously everytime they met an actor or an actress, he decided to just casually told them, “Hey, you know Minhyuk, right?” (And earned a funny stare in return because it was as if they were saying yeah, they knew his newest movie partner, cut the crap. Kim Himchan even asked them casually if they were sleeping together and Kikwang coughed wildly).
Kikwang never had any problem in making friends, and probably that was why, even though he wasn’t the actual Lee Minhyuk, he managed to have a conversation like old pals. Everyone, including Dongwoon, seemed to notice the change of behavior because Minhyuk was known to be the person who never favored the idea of socializing. He chose to stay home whenever he wasn’t working and was always alone. He didn’t seem to be close even with Daehyun, his former manager.
One day, they were planning to grab lunch in a restaurant at the mall when they stumbled upon Yoon Doojoon. Kikwang squeaked instantly the moment the older male greeted Dongwoon. They were engaged in a lively conversation while Kikwang stood still on his track and quickly browsed the internet for Yoseob’s facebook account from his phone.
“Oh, I didn’t know you’re with Dongwoon,” Doojoon said when he realized Kikwang’s presence. “Hello, Minhyuk.”
“H-hyung,” Kikwang stuttered and without preamble, showed Doojoon a picture in his phone. “Cute, right?”
Both Doojoon and Dongwoon blinked for a moment at the picture. “...yes?”
“He’s-he’s a really close friend,” Kikwang breathed. “If-if it’s alright, would you be so kind to meet him one day?”
“Are you a matchmaker now?” Doojoon laughed but slowly stopped when he realized Kikwang wasn’t joking. He looked awkward for a second before narrowing his eyes to take a good look at the picture. “Hm...not bad. ...as a matter of fact, he is quite cute. I don’t mind. I guess.”
“Yes!” Kikwang pumped a fist into the air and both men gaped at his sudden reaction. “I-I mean...yeay? I promise you, Yoseob will be the perfect match for you-“
“Aren’t you still dating that model, Hyunseung?” Dongwoon asked with a frown.
Doojoon shrugged. “He dumped me a few weeks ago. I think it’s for that Yong photographer.”
“Oh. Sorry to hear that, hyung.”
“It’s alright. We’re not meant to be anyway. I gotta dash, though. See you around, guys,” Doojoon calmly smiled at them before waving a hand and walked away.
Dongwoon whistled when Doojoon had finally disappeared from their peripheral visions and Kikwang turned to him with his brows raised.
“What?”
“Nothing. It’s just...you’re...really different nowadays.”
“I am?”
“Yeah.”
“Is it-is it not good?” Kikwang turned a bit pale because he didn’t want Dongwoon to hate him.
“Quite the contrary,” Dongwoon simply replied as he ruffled Kikwang’s hair affectionately. “I like it.”
“You...you like it?”
Dongwoon’s lips curved upward. “Yeah. Now let’s grab some food. I’m starving.”
Kikwang dumbly nodded as he walked behind Dongwoon. He couldn’t help but smiling at the affection the taller male showed him. His heart beat so fast at everything involving Dongwoon. Kikwang felt he had fallen deeper for the male that he wasn’t sure of what to do anymore. It wasn’t supposed to happen. It wasn’t supposed to, and yet why it was so hard to let him go? It might have been easier to just push Dongwoon away. But yet he let him invaded his personal space.
He was lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realize Dongwoon was silently extending a hand backward at him.
Can I...?
Kikwang bit his lip before reluctantly reaching out to Dongwoon’s hand. If it was a mistake, Dongwoon would surely just separate their hands and Kikwang could pretend that nothing was wrong. But when their fingers met, the taller of the two slowly, consciously, carefully lacing them together. Kikwang’s breath became ragged and wriggled his hand slightly, but it was obvious that Dongwoon didn’t plan to let go.
And neither did Kikwang.
***
Kikwang had lost count how long had it been since he woke up in Minhyuk’s body.
But each day was filled with Dongwoon’s smile.
Both of them were free from any activity for the rest of the week. They did a lot of outdoor activities but when Dongwoon was too lazy to go anywhere, Kikwang would just rent a movie and they would watch it together in Minhyuk’s apartment. Sometimes Dongwoon came bringing takeouts for dinner. The occasion was repeated daily that without them realizing, it had become a routine.
Kikwang wanted to do some grocery shopping that day, but Dongwoon had a photoshoot in the morning so they planned to do it sometime later in the afternoon. He was waiting patiently for Dongwoon to pick him up when suddenly it rained hard. The male bit his lip worriedly as he gazed outside the window. The weather was scary and it was probably better if they stayed home and waited until the rain subsided. Or they could always go next time... Kikwang decided to text Dongwoon the options they had and around fifteen minutes later, a very soaked Dongwoon showed up in front of the door.
“D-Dongwoon-ah??”
“Hi, hyung. I was already on my way here when you texted.”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” Kikwang said in horror as he ushered Dongwoon inside. “You could’ve-you could’ve just texted me you have arrived and waited in the car, you didn’t have to. I wouldn’t mind at all-“
“I would,” Dongwoon interrupted his rambling. “I wanted to see you.”
Kikwang deadpanned at his remark before casually turning around to grab a towel for Dongwoon. He tried to hide his blush by busying himself, but now that he thought about it, he had no idea where to look for a dry towel. He had been using the one in the bathroom...considering that Minhyuk was an organized person, he should’ve have some in the bathroom... Kikwang panickly looked for one but found nothing in the said place. He then moved to his bedroom, to the large dressing room Minhyuk had and searched for quite a while.
“Are you alright? Want me to help?” Dongwoon called out from the living room.
“No, I’m fine-just give me a minute,” Kikwang shouted back and sighed in relief when he finally saw a cabinet full of bathrobes and towels. He hastily grabbed a bathrobe and a towel before walking back to the living room. To Dongwoon. “You should take a warm shower-you’ll catch a cold...”
“I’m okay. I have a strong immune system.”
“But...” Kikwang frowned as he willingly dabbed the towel softly on Dongwoon’s hair. “It would be better to just-“
He fell silent the moment he felt Dongwoon’s hands on his wrists. The latter didn’t mean to halt the movement, but Kikwang instinctively did. Dongwoon’s hands were cold. He slowly looked up and when their gazes met, Kikwang felt his whole world stopped spinning. The tall, handsome male tilted his chin down with his fingers and Kikwang’s lips slightly trembled at that.
“I miss you,” Dongwoon muttered softly before pulling Kikwang closer to him. With their positions, Dongwoon had his face buried on Kikwang-Minhyuk’s flat stomach and his arms were wrapped possessively around his waist. Kikwang almost choked because it was hard for him to breathe with Dongwoon pressing so close, feeling the younger male’s nose against the fabric that covered his body. “It’s just a few days and yet...I miss you so badly like we haven’t seen each other in a month.”
Kikwang let out a terrified gasp when Dongwoon suddenly pulled him onto his lap and he had his arms around the latter’s shoulders by instinct. Their lips hovered dangerously close, and oh my God even when he soaked, he still smelled so damn good.
“Can I...?”
Dongwoon asked but their lips brushed slightly, ghosting against one another.
Kikwang felt his soul shrinking.
He let Dongwoon carefully pressed their lips together and everything broke apart inside Kikwang. All of his dreams, all of his wishes, they were all worth it for just this one moment. To be with Dongwoon was something he had ever dreamed ever since he laid his eyes on the handsome male. It was probably-no, it was definitely a dream came true. It was such a tender, naive kiss at first before Kikwang kissed back. He could feel Dongwoon slowly smiled into the kiss and it escalated into something more passionate, but still within the range of pure innocence.
The kiss wasn’t tainted with lust.
It was filled with longing and desperation.
And love.
Kikwang was in love.
Dongwoon’s hand trailed from Kikwang’s waist and slipped underneath his shirt. The latter broke the kiss as Dongwoon’s cold hand on the skin seemed to freeze all of his bodily veins, making it all go numb. Kikwang moaned weakly when it moved to his back, to pull him even closer if that was even possible. Dongwoon ran his teeth on the soft, tickling parts of Kikwang’s neck before crashing their lips again, more intense than the ones they had earlier.
Kikwang found himself starting to touch Dongwoon too, the same way he touched him. Their tongues danced, their fingers ran across each other’s skin, their muffled voices joined as one. Kikwang had never thought it would this intoxicating just to be held close in one’s arms. He wanted to give himself up, to let Dongwoon savor him completely through every inch of his body, to feel him, to let him know that it was really happening and it wasn’t a dream.
Everything was going perfect until Dongwoon said his name.
“Minhyuk...”
All hell broke loose as Kikwang snapped his eyes open.
The male let out a horrified gasp and detached himself off of Dongwoon’s grasp. Kikwang’s face was still flushed from all of their make out session and he cried in shame. He shut his eyes closed and tears were starting to fall down his cheeks.
It was just a wishful thinking.
No matter how happy he was for everything that was happened, he was not Lee Minhyuk. He was merely a Lee Kikwang, who was somehow trapped miraculously inside the pretty male’s body. He was desperately in love with Dongwoon, but he wasn’t the one Dongwoon saw. It was Minhyuk.
It was always Minhyuk.
“Hey,” Dongwoon tried to reach out to him but Kikwang cried disapprovingly. “I’m sorry-I was going too fast-“
“N-no, it wasn’t-wasn’t that,” Kikwang choked back a sob as he took another step backward, away from Dongwoon.
But the taller male wasn’t a fool. He knew a rejection when he saw one. Dongwoon’s orbs were filled with untold hurt when he watched Kikwang took another step back. “Then what is it?”
“I-“ Kikwang paused unsurely. Should he tell him the truth? Should he not? But as Kikwang’s line of sight went back to Dongwoon, he knew he had to be honest. “I’m not...him.”
Dongwoon seemed genuinely confused. “You’re not who?”
“M...Minhyuk.”
“What...?”
“I’m not Minhyuk,” Kikwang finally cried in frustration. He wished there was a better way to explain all of this. “I’m not...”
There was a painful silence hanging between them and the sound of rumbling thunder somewhere far away didn’t able to break it. None of them said a word. Kikwang’s ragged breath was the only thing that was heard in the living room. After a moment that seemed like an eternity, Dongwoon gave him a disbelief stare before finally had the strength to snort.
“That...is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.”
“B-but it’s true,” Kikwang sobbed desperately. “I’m not Lee Minhyuk. Physically yes, but-“
“This is insane,” Dongwoon facepalmed and stood up abruptly. “If you just didn’t want it, you could’ve just said so. It’s much, much better than stating that you’re-you’re what, not Minhyuk? This kind of joke gets old, hyung. It’s not even funny anymore.” Dongwoon sighed in disappointment as he shook his head. “How stupid of me to think that you want this too.”
“Dongwoon, wait-“
But Dongwoon didn’t bother to wait for any other explanation. He threw the towel aside and turned around without looking back. Kikwang winced at the sound of the front door getting slammed hard and gazed outside the window.
The rain was getting harder.
He had never felt so brokenhearted before.
***
Kikwang fell asleep that night after praying that when he woke up, he would wake up in his real form.
He prayed that the light blue ceiling wasn’t the first thing that he looked. He wanted it to be his usual room, the one with lots of Dongwoon’s posters hanging on the wall. He wished Woonie-the teddybear he had-would be right beside him when he woke up and Kikwang would squeeze it lightly, just like he did every morning.
It wasn’t granted.
He still woke up as Lee Minhyuk.
Kikwang was too tired of everything that he did nothing. He wanted to cry. He wanted to be angry. But what good would it be if he did that? Kikwang laid lifelessly on the bed with his eyes fixed to the ceiling, wondering to himself. What did he do to deserve this? What did he want? What did he wished for? Kikwang sighed in frustration and curled himself into a ball.
Think. Think. What did you do that night?
It didn’t seem like he had done something extraordinary. He was just being himself, the usual fanboy. Kikwang had just bought Beautiful Night dvd with Yoseob. He couldn’t wait to get home and watch it because he could never had enough of Son Dongwoon.
Dongwoon.
The memories of their kisses lingered and Kikwang stifled a sob.
His chest hurt.
It was funny, because he wished to meet Dongwoon and when he did, he couldn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t do anything, simply because it wasn’t his place in the first place. God, why was it so hard? He just wanted to go back to his life and continued spazzing over Dongwoon...he was glad to be Lee Kikwang. He wasn’t a high end model or actor, but he had his friends and a good life and he wasn’t happy. He just wished...
It stunned Kikwang like a electricity.
He wished he could meet Dongwoon.
It was his wish before everything went white and then he woke up in Minhyuk’s body.
Kikwang gasped. He remembered. It was his wish.
Then what did Minhyuk wish for...?
The male suddenly had a strength to move and he looked around in panic. His eyes went to the branded laptop on the table. Kikwang had turned it on a few weeks ago unintentionally but didn’t find anything of it. Not even porn-just in case, Kikwang sheepishly thought. He tried to see any document regarding Minhyuk’s personal file like a diary, a journal or some sort but it only contained folders which consisted of pictures of the famous male with his friends. The folders were just too many and it wasn’t exactly the best time to be getting interested in his circle line of friends. That, and a few kpop music videos. It seemed like Minhyuk was following a group named BTOB.
There was nothing suspicious in the phone, either.
Kikwang helplessly looked around for some more clues, but found nothing. He sighed in resignation as he threw himself on the couch. The male puffed his cheeks and exhaled deeply through his nose.
Think, Kikwang. Think. Minhyuk is an organized person. He probably keeps everything in a place-
Kikwang jolted up in realization.
The planner.
He immediately rushed back to the bedroom and reached for the planner on the nightstand. It had always been there. Kikwang had read it a few times but he never moved it. He breathlessly opened the pages and saw Minhyuk’s neat handwriting here and there on several dates. Dinner with Director Hong. Photoshoot for BAP Magazine. Tried the new restaurant downtown with Jongsuk and he talked about his love life with Woobin. Envy. So what Daehyun said the other day was right-Minhyuk did hang out with them. Kikwang read a few more dates. He was about to give up because there didn’t seem to be anything wrong and held his breath at the page right before his accident.
April 14th, 2013.
The male slowly brought a hand to his mouth.
Minhyuk had written, I want to die.
Kikwang gasped as his mind recalled that there was an empty bottle of sleeping pills right when he woke up the other day. Could it be that Minhyuk was trying to kill himself? But...but why...? He slowly shook his head in disbelief, trying to figure out what happened when something flew out of the planner. It fell onto the carpeted floor and Kikwang frowned as he took the piece of paper.
It was a photo.
A photo of Minhyuk with a taller male. The male wasn’t as handsome as Dongwoon (but of course he was being biased), but he definitely had the nicest smile.
Kikwang flipped the picture absentmindedly and there was Minhyuk’s neat handwriting on the back, saying MinKwang <3. He pondered for a second where he had heard the name before and gasped dramatically as realization dawned upon him. Kikwang flipped to the next page in the planner. 10:30 à Eunkwang. Eunkwang. His manager that had something to take care of and the very same person who had asked Daehyun to cover for him.
It fit.
All of the events fit.
But something felt wrong.
If he was here, alive, did it mean that Minhyuk was trapped in his comatose body...?
Kikwang mentally berated himself because he completely forgot about his real body. He hesitantly took Minhyuk’s phone and dialed Yoseob’s number. Kikwang quickly disconnected because he wasn’t sure of what to say. What should he say this time? But Kikwang needed to do something. So he braved himself to redial once again and waited patiently before his friend picked up on the other line.
“Hello?”
“Yoseob-ah!” Kikwang wanted to cry at the sound of his voice because well, he missed him so much. He almost told the other male that he was Kikwang, but then he remembered at how their first phone call ended and decided to try it the other way. “Um, I mean...Yoseob...shii?”
“...who is this?”
“This...” Kikwang trailed off. “Uh... This is...a friend of Kikwang.”
There was a pause. “A friend of Kikwang?”
“Y-yes. I heard the other day that he had an accident?”
There was another pause. “Yeah...he did.”
“Is he...still...unconscious?”
“He is. Made it out the surgery room, but not his trance.”
Kikwang’s lips quivered. “He’s still...dying?”
“He’s not dying. He’s just...unconscious. Who is this again?”
“I-I see. Thank you for your information, Yoseob-shii.”
“Hey, wait-“
Kikwang disconnected the call before Yoseob could hear him sobbing.
***
Dongwoon had turned his phone off for the whole day.
Kikwang sighed in defeat as he tried to contact the other male for the umpteenth time and his phone still wasn’t active until noon. He was desperate in both explaining and apologizing that he ended up asking for Dongwoon’s address from Daehyun. The brown haired male gave him a funny look but he told him anyway. Kikwang wondered if he should tell Daehyun, but no, he couldn’t. When he got to the said address, the male knocked rapidly on Dongwoon’s door and rang the doorbell for quite a while but no one came to open the door. Kikwang sniffled as he weakly pressed his forehead against the wooden door.
Do you really hate me that much, Dongwoon-ah?
Did you peek and when you knew it was me, you didn’t want to open it?
Did you...
“Minhyuk-ah?”
Kikwang was pulled out of his thoughts at the voice calling out his name. He turned around and spotted Dongwoon was standing in front of him with a formal suit. His jaw involuntarily dropped because dammit he looked very handsome-not the best time, Kikwang.
“H-hi,” Kikwang stammered and awkwardly raised a hand.
Dongwoon looked nonchalant as he went for his keys. “Hey.”
Kikwang stepped aside when Dongwoon unlocked his door and walked inside. He wasn’t invited, but the door wasn’t closed either. Kikwang sunk his teeth on his lower lip hesitantly. “C-can I...come in?”
Dongwoon didn’t answer for a split moment. He finally nodded as a reply and when Kikwang entered the living room, he closed the door behind them and crossed his arms on his chest. “What is it?”
Kikwang’s heart instantly broke into pieces at how cold Dongwoon’s tone was toward him. “I...I’m sorry. I know you’re upset, Dongwoon-ah...”
Dongwoon didn’t answer.
“I...please,” Kikwang pleaded sadly. “I just...need someone to talk to and I can’t talk to Daehyun...please...”
Dongwoon threw Kikwang an unreadable gaze before loosening his tie and motioned him to the kitchen. “Might be better over tea. What do you like?”
“What do I like...as Minhyuk, or as myself...?”
Dongwoon stopped moving and gave Kikwang a serious look. Kikwang’s resolve began to waver but no, he planned to tell the taller male the truth, no matter how much it hurt.
“I am...really not Lee Minhyuk,” Kikwang whispered and tears were threatening to spill over. He sucked in deep breath to prevent the tears from falling, but it just made it worse. “I-I am not lying, Dongwoon-ah, I swear to you-“
“Hey,” Dongwoon finally closed the gap between them as he reached for Kikwang’s arm. “Calm down.”
Kikwang whimpered sadly as he lowered his face. How could he calm down? The man of his life was right before his eyes but he couldn’t have him. Kikwang was led to the couch and both of them sat face to face. Dongwoon tilted his chin to force him staring into his eyes. Kikwang sniffed.
“Are you serious?”
Kikwang nodded.
“...bodyswitch?”
“I believe-I believe so,” Kikwang dragged a hand down his face and breathed deeply. He carefully unzipped his jacket and took the planner out of his pocket before handing it over to the handsome male. “I think-I think...it was all because of this.”
Dongwoon took the handed item to him with a frown. “A picture of you and Eunkwang-hyung? I mean...” He eyed Kikwang strangely. “Minhyuk...”
“Yeah. And-and this,” Kikwang showed him the page where Minhyuk wrote that he wanted to die. “There must be something wrong between them that made Minhyuk had a stupid thought like that. When I woke up, there-there was this empty bottle of sleeping pills... I assumed he took all of them. He wished he would die, and I, at the same time, wished to meet you...it’s just...”
Kikwang stopped talking the moment Dongwoon positioned a hand over his cheek.
“You wished to meet...me?”
Kikwang couldn’t bring himself to answer and looked down shyly. If the situation wasn’t so awkward, he would’ve made a new tweet consisted of keyboard smash.
Dongwoon seemed to be in awe. “Wow... You’re a fan.”
A very hardcore fan.
“...fangirl?”
Kikwang’s eyes widened at that. Did he act like a girl for the past few weeks?
“Fanboy,” Dongwoon chuckled. “I like that.”
Kikwang snorted into a smile shyly and it soon morphed into embarrassment. He nervously brought a hand to the first button on his shirt and Dongwoon, as always, noticed this habit. “I really...thought that you would make a great actor back then...”
“Thank you,” Dongwoon smiled slightly. “Glad your prediction was right.”
Kikwang chuckled earnestly and sighed . They fell silent for a moment, each was lost in their own minds. It was Dongwoon who fractured the calm first.
“I also have a confession to make...”
Kikwang slowly lifted up his face. “Yes...?”
Dongwoon pursed his lips and even though he seemed uncertain, he spoke anyway. “I had a feeling...that you weren’t Minhyuk.”
Kikwang blinked. “You did...?”
“Yeah.”
“H-how?”
Dongwoon looked thoughtful as he looked away. “I think...it was because of your gaze. Minhyuk never stared right at me, unless it was for the scenes. We talked, but...it was only...preambles and courtesies between actors, you know? But you...” He turned to Kikwang. “You stared right into my eyes.”
Kikwang went speechless and he could feel his face was burning.
“I guess I just didn’t want to believe it...”
Dongwoon seemed sad for a brief second and the expression dissipated instantly, but Kikwang caught it.
Are you...in love with Minhyuk?
Kikwang could hear the sound of his heart shattering.
“And if what you said was true, I think I know why it happened.” Dongwoon doubled over to reach for a magazine on the table. Kikwang noticed it was the same entertainment magazine he saw when he was with Yoseob. Dongwoon quickly searched for the page he had been looking for and showed it to Kikwang. “A few weeks ago, this picture got out to the media.”
Kikwang stared at the picture and felt his heart shattered even more. “Ah...t-the one where you guys kissed?”
Dongwoon snorted. “Our lips didn’t even touch. Did you remember that time when you said people were staring? And I replied, maybe it was because of our picture was everywhere and yet, we didn’t make any statement.”
“Uh...yeah. In that fancy restaurant...”
“We actually had no idea who took the picture. It was probably photoshopped...or maybe one of the reporters just managed to seize a good opportunity of us leaning closer to each other.”
There was a huge feeling of relief washed over Kikwang’s body because his Dongwoon didn’t do it on purpose, but he still didn’t understand how it related to Minhyuk wanting to die.
“It somehow affected Minhyuk and Eunkwang-hyung’s relationship. Eunkwang-hyung’s really responsible of his job and he takes care of Minhyuk very well. I feel jealous at their relationship, though. It’s not that I want the same to happen to me and my manager Jintaek-ugh, please. Eunkwang is very...how should I say this, protective? So when you showed up that day and Daehyun was covering for his work, I just assumed that the picture was the cause of everything. I even asked Jintaek-hyung and yeah, he said Eunkwang resigned being your-um, Minhyuk’s manager.”
“Minhyuk’s...in love with his own manager?” Kikwang looked down at the picture of Minhyuk and Eunkwang in his hand. They indeed seemed so happy-their smiles showed it all.
“They were simply just manager and artist. They were probably never going to be more. Eunkwang tried to be professional while Minhyuk...well, I think he just didn’t care with all that. He wanted more. But probably when Eunkwang-hyung told him that he was going to leave him-quit his job, I think...Minhyuk was depressed.”
“That is awful,” Kikwang whispered. “Dongwoon-ah...what should we do?”
Dongwoon gazed at the empty space beside the flower vase on the table. His lips were pressed together, obviously he was thinking. “Maybe...maybe you should confess to Eunkwang-hyung.”
Kikwang blinked for a moment before his face brightened like a light bulb “Maybe-maybe I should. Maybe that way-by conveying Minhyuk’s true feeling to Eunkwang, I will get back to my body. It’s just a theory, but it’s...it’s worth a try. Oh my God, we should do that! You are a genius ” Kikwang’s ecstatic smile faltered when he realized Dongwoon wasn’t as happy as him. “Dongwoon-ah?”
“What if you don’t...?”
Kikwang hung his head dejectedly at that. Dongwoon was right. It would be good if it worked, but what if it didn’t? Both of them became gloomy but then Kikwang shook his head, trying to be positive with himself. “We’ll never know until we try! I mean, I am blessed to have this killer body for a few weeks but it’s not my real body. I don’t want to...live in here forever. I miss my family. I miss my friends...”
“You make it sound like being trapped in there is a bad thing.”
“It is bad! What if suddenly Minhyuk got another movie and I ruin everything because my acting sucks??”
“I can always teach you.”
“I am an awful student, I will fail every subject you give me-“
Kikwang didn’t manage to finish his sentence because all of a sudden, Dongwoon had pulled him into his arms. His words were muffled against Dongwoon’s shoulder. “D-Dongwoon-ah...?”
“...it got you to meet me. At least.”
Kikwang closed his eyes as he grabbed a fistful of Dongwoon’s shirt. “That is correct...”
“Can I...ask you something?”
“Go ahead.”
“Did you...regret our kiss?”
How could he?
“Not at all,” Kikwang whispered firmly and tightened his grip on Dongwoon. “I did not regret any of our kiss...or any of the thing happened between us, for that matter. If...even if there is any, it’s just...the only reason I regret is that why does it have to be in this form...” He grabbed Dongwoon’s sleeve so hard that he was afraid he might tore it apart. “I’m gonna miss you.”
Dongwoon took a long pause to answer and Kikwang thought he didn’t need one.
But the tall male did.
“I’m gonna miss your bubbly personality, too.”
It got Kikwang to pull away and gave the tall male a sincere smile. Both of them stared at each other longingly but it was awkward for them to kiss, now that Dongwoon knew it wasn’t really Minhyuk inside the body. He ended up kissing Kikwang’s forehead.
“Let me hug you for a little longer,” Dongwoon murmured and pulled Kikwang again into his embrace. “And if it’s any consolation...when we kissed that time, I also didn’t feel right. It was like kissing someone else’s boyfriend...”
Kikwang giggled at the remark and savored their last moment together by lacing their fingers and inhaling Dongwoon’s faint scent. They stayed close like that for a while. Both were afraid if any of them let go, it would all be broken. But eventually it would, so that was why they held on to each other longingly like there was no tomorrow.
“If it’s not working...”, Dongwoon paused.
Kikwang waited. “...what are you going to say?”
There was probably a lot-a thousand things that Dongwoon wanted to say. There was always a possibility that their theory was wrong and everything didn’t go the way it was planned, but they should try. Dongwoon didn’t want to love Minhyuk physically but it wasn’t the real Minhyuk inside. If it wasn’t working...
“Nothing,” Dongwoon finally said. “Let’s get you to Eunkwang-hyung.”
***
Kikwang didn’t know where Eunkwang lived, so he had to call Daehyun. He swore the brown haired male was a bit flabbergasted at his question but then he said something along the lines of ‘kiss and make up, the two of you’. Daehyun definitely knew what was going on between the two.
The trip to Eunkwang’s apartment was painfully silent. Both Kikwang and Dongwoon were anxious. Would it or would it not work...? Dongwoon didn’t say anything, but as he reduced he speed and the car slowly came to a stop, Kikwang knew it was it.
He was going to have to say goodbye.
“So...here we are,” Dongwoon started.
Kikwang swallowed thickly before nodding. “Yeah.”
“...I hope your theory’s right.”
“I hope so, too.”
“I...will wait for you out here. ...if it’s still you, you know where to find me.”
“Okay.”
“It was...fun. All these weeks. It’s been fun.”
“Me too, Dongwoon-ah. It was my pleasure.”
Their casual conversations made Kikwang wanted to cry. He almost couldn’t take it anymore. The longer he stayed, the harder it would be for him to let go. Breathlessly, Kikwang hastily unfastened his seat belt and planned to just run out of the car without looking back. He visibly tensed when he felt Dongwoon grabbed his arm and he felt suffocated because his eyes were getting teary and he had a hard time breathing.
“Hey,” Dongwoon said quietly.
Kikwang didn’t look at Dongwoon.
“Hey, look at me.”
Kikwang reluctantly did as told, but their eye contact didn’t last very long.
“I never got to know your real name...”
Why was his real name mattered, Kikwang wanted to ask, but he didn’t believe himself to be able to do such thing. He licked his dry lips before breaking into an inadequate smile. “Lee Kikwang.”
“Kikwang,” Dongwoon repeated. “It’s a nice name.”
“I don’t have any appearance like Minhyuk, though,” Kikwang crinkled his nose. “The moment you see me, you probably thought you should stick to Minhyuk...”
“I would never do that,” Dongwoon swept Kikwang’s bangs away too affectionately that it hurt. “...I’ll find you.”
Kikwang’s lips trembled slightly at that. “You...you don’t have to.”
“I’m gonna find you, Lee Kikwang.”
“But you’ll never know which one I am.”
“I will know. My heart will tell me.”
Kikwang had enough. He leaned forward to hug Dongwoon and hid his head on the latter’s chest. Kikwang started to sob softly because he didn’t wan’t to let go. He didn’t want to go inside and face Eunkwang. He didn’t want to leave Dongwoon’s side. He didn’t want to... Their fingers intertwined again for the umpteenth time that night. Probably for the last time.
“I love you, Dongwoon-ah,” Kikwang whispered with all of his heart. “I love you.”
Dongwoon held him even tighter.
“I love you more, Kikwang...”
***
Everything was like a dream.
Kikwang woke up with IVs strapped into his arms and a crying family when he stuttered his eyes open.
The last thing he remembered was the face of Eunkwang and the familiarity feeling that resurfaced. That moment, Kikwang just knew that Minhyuk responded to the image of his beloved manager and everything went hazy after that.
Yoseob apologized to him in tears because he didn’t know what he would do if Kikwang would never wake up. The last thing they did was arguing and he was glad he was still given the chance to apologize. Sohyun sobbed by his side because if he didn’t wake up, she wouldn’t know who to ask to accompany her to TeenTop concert and Kikwang blinked at that (but sure, he would go with her to see Chunji and L.Joe). His parents were just glad that he finally gained his consciousness back and they couldn’t stop telling him how worried they were.
He had his family and he had his friends. Kikwang was supposed to be happy because this time, his wish was granted. But he couldn’t help but feeling a bit empty. Nonetheless, Kikwang was grateful to have his own body back.
Two days after he snapped awake, he was allowed to go home by the doctor. A few weeks later, Kikwang had fully recovered. Fortunately, he didn’t have internal damage or broken bones, but Yoseob had asked him once if the accident did something to his head because he stopped spazzing about Son Dongwoon. Kikwang only smiled weakly at him in return. His heart was full with his love for Dongwoon that he couldn’t even express it anymore.
The entertainment world was shocked by the sudden news from Lee Minhyuk. He announced that he was finally engaged with his manager and explained that he had nothing with Son Dongwoon. Kikwang smiled to himself when he stumbled upon the confession in a magazine. He felt delighted that everything went alright between Minhyuk and Eunkwang. Kikwang wondered if Dongwoon felt the same thing.
They were in the middle of a class when Dongwoon suddenly opened the door.
All eyes immediately turned to him and the lecturer in front of the white board was neglected.
Kikwang almost choked.
Yoseob and Sohyun looked as shocked as him. All of them were, to be exact. How the hell a famous celebrity such as Son Dongwoon dropped by specifically to their class? Some girls were squealing when Dongwoon peered over to their direction and Kikwang felt his heart sinking.
“What’s he doing here?” Sohyun whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Good question,” Dongwoon replied to Sohyun’s question as he stepped inside the class. He bowed in respect at the lecturer who also had her jaw dropped at his appearance. “I am really sorry to bother your lecturing, but this is the only spare time I can make this week so... I’ll just have ten-fifteen minutes max of your time.” She nodded dumbly at him and Dongwoon flashed his megawatt smile. “Thank you. It won’t take long.”
Kikwang felt his heartbeat increasing unnaturally fast. Are-are you going to do what I think you’re going to do?
Dongwoon cleared his throat. “I’m here for the one person who had stolen my heart.”
SHIT YOU AREEEEEEE ASKAKSJHSSA b-but wait, stole your heart?
“His name is...well, all I know is that he’s attending this class. I don’t even have a clue what he looks like. I just-I found this information through a facebook page of his friend.”
Kikwang was going to laugh and be extremely happy for Yoseob because apparently Doojoon remembered his name well enough. Dongwoon must have searched through Yoseob’s account. But then his nervousness resurfaced and with so many people, he wasn’t sure if Dongwoon was going to be able to spot him through the crowd. Unless that he said the name who he was looking for. But if he did then...what would happen? What if Dongwoon find out and he wasn’t as pretty as Minhyuk? What would he do then? Would he leave and pretended that it was just a mistake?
He was so scared that unconsciously, Kikwang brought a hand to the first button of his shirt and squeezed it lightly over and over again.
Please just leave...please...
It might be a simple movement to the others, but to Dongwoon, it wasn’t.
“Lee Kikwang.”
Everyone gasped in surprise and Kikwang deadpanned in his seat, like a boy that was caught stealing in the candy store. Dongwoon took a few steps forward and stood in front of him. Kikwang sagged in his seat, trying to drown himself even more if it was possible. He could hear his friends were whispering around him and he felt like digging a hole and die in embarrassment.
“Lee Kikwang.”
Dongwoon tilted Kikwang’s chin upwards with two fingers and their eyes met.
“D-Dongwoon-ah,” he whispered in disbelief. “B-but how?”
Dongwoon bloomed into a fond smile and he seemed pleased with himself.
“I told you I would find you.”
End.
Dongwoon excused Kikwang from the class and the lecturer, clearly paralyzed by the fact that a very handsome, famous actor came into her class could only give him another dumb nod.
Their hands were locked tightly together and Kikwang thought he would die from suffocation.
“D-Dongwoon-ah-“
“Wait,” Dongwoon suddenly said as he stopped walking. Kikwang’s nose successfully bumped onto his back but didn’t feel any pain at the moment. The taller male turned around with a determined look chiseled on his face. “I have to test it first.”
“Test what-“
Kikwang didn’t manage to finish his question because Dongwoon had already pressed their lips together. His knees became weak and he almost stumbled backward if Dongwoon didn’t catch him on time. After a minute (or two? Or...?), Dongwoon finally broke the kiss by pulling away, but their lips didn’t get very far. Kikwang could still feel Dongwoon’s breath ghosting on his lips.
His first kiss.
“Wow,” Dongwoon breathed.
“W-what?”
“That...felt so damn right.”
“B-but...I’m-I’m ugly...”
“No,” Dongwoon firmly shook his head before meeting their lips again. “No, you’re perfect.”