Anomaly [2/2]
Title: Anomaly [2/2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Junmyeon came home to find out the truth.
Author’s Note: Another warning: Too many tears. Incest. Character death. Awful plot. You’ve been warned. T_T
[1]
His father completely ignored him like Junmyeon didn’t exist in the house.
Junmyeon acted like he didn’t care even though being ignored hurt so much. But then again, it was what he first did to his father and Jongdae, so maybe he deserved it. He spent a lot of times with Kris and felt somewhat secure. Junmyeon felt really grateful that Kris didn’t ask a lot about his family and everything. Their conversation was mostly about Junmyeon’s life in Seoul, his friends, his hobbies, they were nothing serious. But then it slipped out of Kris’ mouth about the chance of Junmyeon to stay.
Junmyeon deadpanned.
It wasn’t a plea, it wasn’t a request, it wasn’t even a question. Kris just said it casually like it was the right thing to do-for Junmyeon to stay, because it was his hometown. Because then they would be able to spend more time together. Because then they could be together.
Junmyeon couldn’t answer because he had just purchased a ticket to Seoul for next week. He booked the flight the other night because he thought it was almost time for him to go home-that he didn’t have a reason to stay. Kris waited patiently for an answer, but it didn’t seem like Junmyeon was going to give him any soon and the blond male only sighed in response.
He snapped back to reality when he heard the sound of the door being closed-which could only mean that his father had already left. Junmyeon rose from his bed to make sure and peeked. The house was deadly quiet. It was like silence was the only thing blanketing the place ever since his brother’s death. Junmyeon took a deep breath and dragged his feet to Jongdae’s room. He turned on the light, only to find the same condition the room was in the last time he went there.
Everything was neatly tucked into its place.
He suddenly remembered about the last accident. Junmyeon carefully went to the bookshelves and removed the cutter. The sharp thing still had his blood and he covered it with a paper before throwing it into the trash bin. The male narrowed his eyes to see if there was still other cutters but he found none.
Junmyeon absentmindedly opened the wardrobe and paused. He should probably donate some of Jongdae’s clothes to those who needed. But maybe he should discuss it with his father first...
...or not.
He took down some of the clothes and threw them to the bed. Junmyeon then kneeled on the carpeted floor to open the drawers. He almost chuckled when he realized that the inside was a mess. Socks and underwears and wifebeaters were all mixed up. Junmyeon shook his head in amusement and crossed his legs as he started folding them.
Junmyeon grabbed a fistful hand of the layers of clothing and suddenly, his eyes caught the view of a book on the bottom of the drawer.
He put the clothes aside and frown formed upon his forehead as he took it.
Junmyeon recognized his brother’s handwriting. The words KIM JONGDAE were written awfully huge on the first page and the Chinese characters followed underneath it-it was probably Jongdae’s name in Mandarin. Now that he thought about it, maybe Jongdae did like Mandarin ever since he was little. When Junmyeon was six and Jongdae was four, the older male kept on calling him ‘Dae-yah’ and the younger one shook his head and pointed at his own self shamelessly. ‘Chen, hyung. Chen.’
He flipped to the next page.
It seemed to be a diary of some sort because Jongdae had always written the date on each page. Junmyeon noticed that he had probably started writing about two years ago...a few months after their mother’s death and his leaving. His face scrunched up in regret. Junmyeon felt something hot was forming in the rim of his eyes. He fought the tears away and continued reading. They were written neatly on the front pages, but as it got to the middle parts they became smudged and were furiously scribbled down.
Junmyeon didn’t even read the whole sentence and date anymore as his eyes skipped hastily page by page, sentence by sentence.
I miss you, hyung. What are you doing? Do you even miss me?
I’m scared, hyung. I feel so lonely. Why did you even leave?
Hyung...what should I do?
I would usually ask you anything. But now that you’re not here, I can’t. I don’t want to make you worry.
Hyung...it’s starting.
I think it’s starting. The anomalies that he had been showing. It’s starting.
I’m scared.
He came to me the other night. He did nothing, but I could feel that it wasn’t gonna be the end.
My hunch was right, hyung.
He came again.
What if...what if he would never let me go, hyung?
What should I do???
Hyung.
Junmyeon-hyung.
Help, hyung.
I miss you so bad I’m so freaking scared.
Help.
I don’t want you to go back, hyung. I don’t want you to.
Junmyeon whimpered in distaste as he flipped to the last page harshly and froze when he came across the last written words.
I WANT TO DIE, HYUNG.
***
“...myeon-ah.”
Junmyeon didn’t blink.
“Junmyeon-ah?”
Junmyeon still didn’t move.
“Junmyeon-ah,” Kris said sternly this time and grabbed Junmyeon to pull him out of his thoughts.
Junmyeon looked startled and blushed slightly. “I’m-I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“Are you alright?”
Junmyeon visibly chewed his lower lip and Kris knew that no, he wasn’t alright. The former had been spacing out a lot, something was obviously on his mind. Junmyeon had the urge to tell Kris because he trusted him, but something in him also prevented him from telling the Chinese male about the diary he had found in Jongdae’s room. “Yifan...?”
“Hm?”
He just needed to know.
“Did my brother...date someone?”
Kris rested his chin on the heel of his palm and looked thoughtful for a moment. “Hm... Not that I know of.”
“Does he have any close friends...beside you guys?”
Kris frowned and his eyes went somewhere between Junmyeon’s nose and lips. “I’m afraid I only know us. We’ve spent so much time together in the club that I didn’t think he even had the time to spend with others.”
Junmyeon pursed his lips. “I see...”
The frown on Kris’ forehead deepened as he grabbed Junmyeon’s hand. “Hey. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s just that...”, Junmyeon shook his head and looked hesitant. Should he tell Kris about it? “...was he...ever bullied?”
“Bullied?”
“Yes...like, someone probably hurt him but he had never told anyone about it...”
“Why do you think so?”
“I’m-I’m just asking, Yifan...”
“You think he killed himself because someone was blackmailing him?”
“I don’t know, okay?” Junmyeon groaned and brought his hands to cover his face desperately. He sniffed in frustration and when he looked up, he realized Kris had shot him a betrayed look. “Yifan...?”
“Do you not trust me, Junmyeon-ah?”
“No, it’s not that...I...I trust you...”, Junmyeon trailed off and sighed in defeat. “I just...I came across his diary last night and nothing good was ever written...he only wrote that...someone came to him and it seemed like he was terribly scared...”
“A diary?”
“Yes.”
“Oh the bookshelves?”
Junmyeon seemed perplexed. “...no. Why do you ask?”
“Don’t go near the bookshelves,” Kris replied, but it was more repeating than telling. “It’s what Jongdae had always said.”
“Don’t go near the bookshelves?”, Junmyeon echoed. “...but...why?”
“Beats me,” Kris shook his head. “So...did Jongdae ever mention a name in this diary that you told me?”
Junmyeon went blank. “No. No...all he mentioned was my name...”, he whispered and shut his eyes as tiredness waved over his body. “What is happening...?” He felt Kris shifting from the seat across to the empty one beside him to pull him into an embrace. Junmyeon meekly obeyed.
Why did Kris understand him that much?
How come he could bear what Junmyeon was going through?
“I’m scared...”, Junmyeon whispered. “Yifan, I’m confused... I’m tired...”
“Ssh,” Kris shushed him. “Then don’t think about it anymore.”
Junmyeon almost sobbed. “I don’t want to stay, Yifan... I don’t want to stay...”
Kris said nothing at the moment because he knew, staying would just only hurt Junmyeon more.
***
Junmyeon’s stay was coming to an end and Kris decided to bring him sight seeing around the campus.
It was actually not a good distraction because everything just reminded him more of Jongdae. Kris showed him their Mandarin club, Jongdae’s class, Jongdae’s favorite spot at the canteen, Jongdae’s everything. Junmyeon felt eyes on him as they passed by because they surely recognized who he was-it was a small town, afterall.
They met a few of Jongdae’s friends who was kind enough to greet him. They also met a few teachers and they all said the same thing-that they were proud of Kim Jongdae. That his brother was always full of smile and helpful of others.
Then why, did Jongdae kill himself?
Everytime the question resurfaced, Junmyeon would crumble and regret everything that happened, regretting why did he leave and ignored his younger brother while in reality he actually had to stay for him. Had he stayed, all of this probably wouldn’t have happened and right then they could still laugh together with his father. Leaving was easier to be done but then the ones who were left probably couldn’t have accepted it as easy as the ones who left.
It must have been bothering Junmyeon so much because the moment they reached Kris’ car, he burst out crying.
Kris unbuckled his seat belt as soon as he put it on and leaned across to pull Junmyeon into a hug. It was funny to think that Junmyeon felt calm with the way Kris held him in his arms and at the same time feeling guilty because he felt like the taller male had sacrificed everything to be with him-and him only. There was a million chance for Kris to walk away, but he chose to stay. Kris was kindly patient whenever Junmyeon broke down and he told him that everything was going to be alright-even if it wasn’t, it was just nice to have someone to be there when Junmyeon needed one.
But he was tired.
Junmyeon just wanted to forget.
The pretty male must have said it out loud because the next thing he knew, Kris had claimed his lips.
Junmyeon’s mind went blank and he immediately stopped crying. Kris’ lips were pressed softly against his and something akin to relief bubbled in Junmyeon. A moment later, Kris pulled away gingerly and cupped Junmyeon’s chin. The latter stared in embarassment at him with dry tears down his cheeks. “Yifan...?”
“What did you think about?” Kris murmured as he softly brought their lips together again.
“Hm,” Junmyeon hummed as he closed his eyes. His heart was thumping loudly against his chest. “You...”
“That’s good,” Kris inhaled Junmyeon’s scent and kissed his tears away. “Think of me more.”
And then everything happened naturally fast.
Junmyeon tugged Kris’ collar down to kiss him again (because even when he was sitting, the male was so freaking tall).
They somehow made it to Kris’ apartment because Junmyeon didn’t want to go home just yet (and Kris wasn’t ready to let go of him yet).
Although it might not be entirely true, but Kris’ gentle touches and kisses really did make him forget. Because all Junmyeon could think about was how he felt secure to feel Kris’ big hands pressing on his naked skin, how good it was to feel Kris’ tongue running on his thighs, how heavenly it was to have Kris’ endless thrusts as he slammed inside him, how he loved the way Kris dominating him, how he wanted more because of Kris’ way of holding his hips, and Yifan Yifan oh Yifan.
Junmyeon’s back was slammed against the door because Kris couldn’t stop kissing him while his other hand fumbled for his keys (and Junmyeon had somehow guided his other hand to the pretty male’s crotch). They nearly tripped on the floor (Kris had to kick the door closed with his foot because Junmyeon moaning his name was driving him crazy) and Junmyeon chuckled, dazed that the taller male had managed to catch him before they fell.
There was always the first time to everything.
But it was probably Junmyeon’s first time to everything (having someone kissing him, touching him, guiding him). Their kisses were so intense that they weren’t successful to make it to the bedroom and chose to do it on the couch instead. Junmyeon’s voice was hitched when Kris’ hand slipped underneath his shirt, caressing his milky smooth skin. The Chinese male’s slender, long digits jerked over Junmyeon’s nipples and the latter threw his head back in pleasure. The taller of the two seemed pleased with the sound Junmyeon made. He hovered above the pretty male and impatiently undressed him.
Junmyeon’s vision blurred the moment he felt cold breeze on his shirtless body and covered his eyes with the back of his arms. He needed a moment to regain his breath because they were proceeding with the speed of light.
Kris noticed the sudden change of atmosphere and pressed his lips softly on Junmyeon’s. The latter moaned in response and removed his arms from his eyes. Emotions were swimming in his beautiful orbs and Kris gently stroke his cheek with a thumb.
“What’s on your mind?”
Junmyeon closed his eyes in defeat and pulled Kris closer. “You...”
Kris smiled affectionately. “Good. Because you’re not allowed to think about anything else at the moment.”
Junmyeon almost let out a snort against Kris’ jaw. “I don’t want to think of anything else, Yifan...only you.”
With that being said, it was as if Kris was given a second chance to start everything. The taller male started with claiming Junmyeon’s lips passionately. It took a moment for Junmyeon to finally kiss back and when he did, Kris braved himself to turn the liplock session into heated ones, still with a slow pace.
Kris held Junmyeon firmly in his arms. Despite any position they had, Kris made sure he never let go of those smaller hands. Their fingers kept on lacing even though their palms were sweaty but none of them seemed to mind. As Kris spreaded Junmyeon’s smooth, flawless legs to provide easier access for him to enter, he pondered briefly what would become of them after this.
Junmyeon cried and his fingers dug a bit deeper than they should be into Kris’ skin. Kris paused before trying again, a bit harder this time. Junmyeon moaned in pain as he visibly tensed and tears were forming in his eyes. Kris kissed his tears away and did his best to be gentler. After a few thrusts, the pretty male was finally able to relax and he became a complete moaning mess. Their bodies rocked beautifully together in a rhyme and Junmyeon’s muffled cried against his lips felt so damn right, like the pretty male belonged to him and to him only. Kris had never felt this possessive toward someone before.
The pretty male flinched underneath him and Kris knew he had hit the sweet spot. When Junmyeon finally reached his climax and he shivered in release under Kris’ gaze, it was probably-no, definitely the most beautiful view Kris had ever seen. Junmyeon’s lips-his-opened slightly as he cried out Kris’ name endlessly like a mantra. Kris followed soon after as he pulled Junmyeon closer to his chest-too possessive to ever let him go. Both were sweating and breathless from the release but none of them pulled away. Kris felt Junmyeon’s small digits slowly made their way onto his dearly. Soon the younger male couldn’t hold the emotions any longer as he burst out crying in Kris’ chest.
Kris put a hand on the back of Junmyeon’s neck and pressed light kisses to the latter’s forehead. He whispered to him that Junmyeon was going to be okay, everything was going to be okay, because he had him now, and he was going to make him safe.
He wondered if Junmyeon was willing to stay.
***
Kris was still asleep when Junmyeon left that morning.
It was probably the best thing to do because he wasn’t ready to say goodbye just yet.
Junmyeon winced at the horrendous pain on his back, but he thought it didn’t matter because it was Kris. He covered his face in embarassment as he recalled the sweet love they had made the night before and turned crimson.
Yifan.
Something within him caused his heart to beat faster at the name.
The house was dim and quiet like usual. Junmyeon didn’t even bother to check if his father was home, he was probably off to Lord knew where. He slowly took off his shoes and headed straight to the bathroom to take a shower. Junmyeon crinkled his nose in distaste as he mirrored himself in the bathroom. He was limping but other than that, he looked okay. He was okay.
His skin seemed to glow. Junmyeon tilted his head to a side and smiled. It was like he had a radiating aura-could it be because of what he just had with Kris? Or was it just his imagination because the feeling for Kris was so big like it was about to blow any minute? Strange, but he felt unbearably happy. His sadness was somehow replaced.
He was going to fly back to Seoul in two days and all of a sudden, he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to separate with Kris.
After taking a shower, Junmyeon decided to start packing. He didn’t bring many things with him in the first place so there really wasn’t a lot to pack. Junmyeon thought of bringing one of Jongdae’s pictures and...probably the diary along with him. He had given a thought about it and he wanted to at least keep it. He finally finished packing and was about to rise to his feet when he saw his father standing by the doorway. Junmyeon paused. The older man had a sad smile stretched on his face, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
Junmyeon felt something was off.
“Appa?”
For the first time in a long time, he finally said something. There was an emotion in his father’s eyes that Junmyeon couldn’t quite grasp what it was. His father slowly inched closer to hug him and Junmyeon closed his eyes instinctively. His father was hugging him. How long had it been since they last hugged each other like this?
“Appa...”
“Do you love me, Junmyeonie?”
“What? Of-of course...”
His father exhaled loudly. “It’s really been a long time... You’ve become so pretty, Myeonie...”
“Appa...”
“But Jongdae could never be as pretty as you.”
His tone suddenly turned dark and Junmyeon widened his eyes in surprise. He tried to break free from the hug but his father tightened his grip around him, pulling him even closer. Junmyeon gasped as he felt his father kissing his neck and tried to push him away.
“S-stop!”
Junmyeon blanched as he managed to pull away with all his might. His father looked a bit taken aback at the rejection. Breathless, Junmyeon clenched his chest and tried to look for his phone-he wanted to call Kris. Why did he even go home without saying goodbye this morning? Worse, why did he even go home? Junmyeon stopped moving when his father slowly glanced up to his son’s face. His face was emotionless and cold like he was staring at something evil, like it wasn’t his son that he stared at.
Fear attacked Junmyeon like a dreadful hurricane because he had never seen his father with such expression before.
“Myeonie.”
Junmyeon gasped at the dangerous tone and he tried to run out of the room, but his father was faster. His old man blocked his way and pushed him roughly toward the bed with a yank. Junmyeon landed with a scream and his father quickly locked his wrists above his head. His grip was strong.
“Appa, wh-what are you doing??”
His father didn’t seem to listen as he quickly yanked Junmyeon’s pants down-along with his underwear-until they reached his knees and spreaded his son’s legs forcefully.
Junmyeon felt utterly ashamed because he only wanted Kris to do such thing and not his father of all people. He could feel mean fingers groping and trailing to the forbidden part of his and Junmyeon started sobbing. He begged for him to stop, and his father did stop. Junmyeon casted down a glance only to find his father was looking at the southern part of Junmyeon’s with merely disgust. He realized that his father was staring at the same spot Kris had entered and it scared him.
“You’re not a virgin.”
“Wh-what...?”
“You’re not a virgin. You’re not a virgin! Jongdae was a virgin!! How could you-you’re not a virgin!!!”
His father became hysterical all of a sudden and let go of his legs angrily. Junmyeon froze as he heard his brother’s name being mentioned. He quickly grabbed a hold of himself and took the chance to crawl away from his father. Junmyeon stumbled onto the floor and managed to zip his pants with trembling hands. His father didn’t budge from the bed, he looked like he was about to cry. Everything seemed to fall into place as realization slowly dawned upon Junmyeon.
“Appa... What...have you done to Chen?”
His father brought a hand to cover his face. “He was clearly not as pretty as you, Myeonie...but he was obedient...”
Junmyeon couldn’t breathe. “Wh-what did you do-“
“He did nothing when I touched him and told him that if only he was you, if only he was as pretty as you-“
“SHUT UUUUUPP!!!”, Junmyeon screamed at the top of his lungs as he shut his eyes in pain and covered both of his ears. He didn’t want to listen anymore. He didn’t. All this time he thought it was an ex-boyfriend or someone who hated Jongdae or a mean bully, but he had never thought-had never thought that his own father being the one who hurt him. Junmyeon’s chest heaved heavily as his breath became ragged and shot his father a hurtful look. “How-how could you, Appa? Chen was your own flesh and blood...”
His father covered his face shamefully and started crying.
Junmyeon also felt like crying. He felt awful. Awful was probably an understatement, what he felt was way beyond it. Junmyeon stood up-he winced slightly at the pain-and left his room with a terrible feeling. He grabbed his phone on the way and headed to the living room to make a call to anyone-Kris, preferably. No, it was definitely to Kris. Junmyeon needed him. Junmyeon needed to know that he was going to be alright-after knowing what had really happened. Junmyeon needed to know that Kris was going to be there for him even after knowing the truth...
Tears were already streaming down his cheeks when Kris finally picked up.
“Junmyeon-ah?”
“Yifan-“
Junmyeon wasn’t able to finish his sentence because someone had choked his neck abruptly. He cried as he felt his father’s digits pressing on his adam’s apple and fell weakly to his knees. His phone was thrown to the carpeted floor not too far from him.
“A-A-Appa-“
“I loved Jongdae,” his father whispered darkly. “I loved him, more than a son, because you left and he was the only one who was around-“
Junmyeon felt his surrounding fading into pitch black. The air was slowly sucked dry from his lungs and he almost suffocated. Suddenly, the thought of Jongdae climbing to the bridge the night he called flashed in his mind. The thought of his brother being alone, bare foot, staring bravely at the railroad under him before ending his life suddenly gave him courage.
Chen.
Junmyeon gathered his strength and freed himself away from his father’s grip.
He fell forward and gasped loudly to recover the missing air from his body. Junmyeon then quickly looked over his shoulder to see his father was also falling backward, didn’t expect his son to fight back. His father stopped moving for a moment before shifting his eyes back to Junmyeon. The older male looked outraged and different and Junmyeon sadly thought it wasn’t his father. His father had probably died along with their mother and the body in front of him was nothing but an empty shell.
Junmyeon scanned the room frantically for something he could use as a self defense-but he saw nothing. There was a baseball bat at the end of the room in the umbrella stand, but it was too far. He doubted he could make it before his father snatched him first. Junmyeon wasn’t able to grab anything, the option was to just run away. However, something within him snapped as he saw his father rising slowly to his feet. He was standing in front of the bookshelves.
Don’t go near the bookshelves.
Junmyeon held his breath.
His father screamed unnaturally as he lunged forward to attack Junmyeon, and the latter closed his eyes fearfully as he, too, moved forward to push his father as hard as he could toward the bookshelves. Within seconds, the sound of crashing could be heard loudly and Junmyeon was too scared to open his eyes. The older man yelped in pain as his back hit the wooden shelves and a heavy flower vase fell from the uppermost shelf. It made a terrifying crack sound as it hit his father’s head.
Junmyeon abruptly opened his eyes and cried in fear as his father dropped lifelessly to the floor, blood spattering heavily from his head to everywhere.
He fell with his face down and Junmyeon trembled as he saw a cutter was stabbed to the back of his neck.
Just like the one in Jongdae’s bedroom.
***
Junmyeon wished that by the time he woke up, everything would be just a dream.
That he had been asleep for a very, very a long time and it affected him to have nightmares.
But when he opened his eyes to see the polices in his house and Kris’ strong arms were wrapped around him, Junmyeon knew that it was real and he was gonna have to face the painful truth. The Chinese male had never leave his side and Junmyeon wondered what had he done in the previous life to receive such kindness.
The polices had brought them to the station downtown to make some statements regarding what happened. When one of the men in the uniforms told Junmyeon that Kris was gonna have to wait outside, he shook his head violently. His eyes showed fear to those strangers and clung dearly to Kris, clearly he wasn’t going to let him go.
They let Kris and Junmyeon waited for a few hours in the interrogation room. Junmyeon was unable to speak and buried his head in the blond male’s arms the whole time. It was as if his life was drained out of his body because his face was so pale.
Finally the door was opened and a few men stepped into the room. Two of them were obviously polices-judging from the uniforms-and the other one seemed to be an inspector or some sort with higher authority. He brought two cups of drink in his hands.
Junmyeon flinched while Kris only narrowed his eyes at them.
“Here, drink this. It would make you feel better.”
Junmyeon only stared blankly at the cup of hot chocolate that was shoved to him. He didn’t response.
“I know this is hard for you. You just lost your brother and now...you lost your father.”
Junmyeon deadpanned. “He-he’s...dead?”
The inspector looked deeply sorry. “I’m sorry. He had lost so much blood...he died on the way to the hospital.”
Junmyeon whimpered and Kris squeezed his shoulder as a support. Junmyeon sobbed into his hands and he wanted to be anywhere but there. He wanted to go home-not to his house, but to where Kyungsoo and the others were.
The room was filled with Junmyeon’s painful sobbing and they waited patiently for him to stop. When Junmyeon finally calmed down a little bit, he started talking again.
“Junmyeon-ssi, I have just a few questions for you...that I would like you to answer.”
The said male showed obvious expression of exhaustion but nodding nevertheless.
“There are a lot of bookshelves in your house,” he said and tapped his finger on the table absentmindedly. “It seemed like your brother-your deceased brother really liked to read.”
Junmyeon blinked incredulously.
Don’t go near the bookshelves.
Kris stroke the back of Junmyeon’s hand with a thumb.
“Here comes the interesting fact. There is a medium sized vase-no flowers, though-filled with water on the uppermost part of each shelf. The vase was heavy but someone seemed to have propped at least quite a thick book underneath so it wasn’t very steady. Any slight movement could cause it to fall off.” Junmyeon’s mind ran back to the first time in Jongdae’s room when he realized about the vase and his bleeding fingers. “And then, there were those cutters. They were thin and slim so no one would be able to catch them easily except if they move closer to the bookshelves.”
The inspector leaned forward.
“The cutters’ positions were set up based on your father’s height.”
Junmyeon’s heart almost stopped beating.
“Do you know what this means?”
Junmyeon propped his elbows on the table for support and covered his face with both of his hands. “Chen...,” he said in a barely audible voice and sniffed. Kris was silent beside him and the male looked as shock as Junmyeon.
The inspector observed their faces for a while before speaking. “There was a hidden camera in each vase. The cameras were all connected to Jongdae’s hidden laptop in his room. Do you want to see?”
“Is it...Jongdae?”
The man nodded firmly.
Junmyeon grimly pressed his lips into a thin line. “...then I will watch it.”
“Junmyeon-ssi,” the inspector rubbed his temple tiredly. His tone became serious. “I’m gonna have to warn you. It contains videos that you may not want to see. Once you see them, there’s no turning back. This may change your life forever.”
Junmyeon smiled wryly. “Even if I don’t watch it, my life isn’t gonnabe the same anymore, officer. So I guess there’s no harm for me to watch the videos. Please let me see them.”
The inspector noticed the determination plastered on the young male’s face and then motioned one of his men to bring Jongdae’s laptop into the room.
Junmyeon felt his heart pounding loudly against his ribcage. Even if he said that his life wasn’t gonnabe the same anymore, he wasn’t actually ready to see whatever it was in the video. Kris’ hand on his hair and their linking fingers weren’t able to calm him down anymore and he felt scared. Everything was just too much to take at one time.
When the inspector clicked on the videos, Junmyeon knew there was really no turning back.
He puked his guts out in the nearest bathroom.
Jongdae had set up the cameras from different angles. They were slightly blurred but it was enough to tell who was who.
His father had touched his little brother. It started with only a hug and sickeningly chaste kisses on the neck at first (just like the one he did to him and Junmyeon shuddered), but it progressed to groping and touching and grabbing-Junmyeon had to shut his eyes at the view-and in the end, raping. Junmyeon couldn’t hold back the tears even though his eyes hurt and swollen badly from so much crying as he heard his brother’s pleading voice to his father, begging for him to stop, but his father just laughed at his tears.
The videos were nauseating and Junmyeon felt dread bubbling at the pit of his stomach. He begged for them to stop the videos and the police obeyed. The inspector grimaced for a moment before turning to Kris to say that they were free to go. Kris could only nodded in silence. The other polices left the room first, and the inspector gave Junmyeon his last sympathetic gaze before leaving.
The door was closed with a soft sound.
“Yifan...”
Junmyeon’s subtle voice drew Kris closer. The former was a crying mess and Kris knew there was nothing he could do at the moment to make him feel better.
“Yes?”
“This is all my fault...if only I had stayed... Why didn’t I ask him? Why didn’t I ever ask Chen what happened... I knew something was wrong. I knew, but I didn’t want to know...”, Junmyeon stared at Kris sadly. “I’m a bad brother...”
The smell of hot chocolate wandered throughout the small room and Junmyeon looked thoughtful.
“Yifan...”
“Yes.”
“Do you still want to be with me...?”
Kris found himself smiling sincerely and brushed a few strands of hair from Junmyeon’s forehead.
“I don’t want anything else but that, Junmyeon-ah.”
***
Junmyeon decided to leave.
This time, it was forever.
It was somehow different to know that there wouldn’t be anyone anymore when he went back to the house. There would be...no one. No one at all.
Junmyeon blankly stared outside the window. He had made himself a cup of tea before leaving for the flight. When Junmyeon called Kyungsoo earlier this morning to inform that he was going back, the latter seemed awfully relieved and told him that he would be waiting-they would be waiting. Junmyeon shifted his gaze from his cup to the kitchen utensils and the sunlight peeking from the window somehow reflected on the knife. His eyes gleamed.
“Don’t.”
Kris’ voice startled him as if he knew what he was thinking and Junmyeon quickly gulped his tea. The taller male had decided to stay with him throughout the night and Junmyeon couldn’t be more thankful for everything that he had done. A pang of sadness lumped in his throat. Junmyeon didn’t want to leave Kris, but he didn’t want to stay either.
Junmyeon’s line of sight unconsciously drifted back to the knife. It shone even brighter than before. Well, now that he had no family left, he supposed he shouldn’t hesitate to...
“Hey,” Kris glared at him. “I said don’t.”
“Why?” Junmyeon hoarsely asked.
“Because I would be sad.” Kris sighed in exasperation and embraced Junmyeon tightly. The thought of separating saddened him because he wanted to be there for Junmyeon. “Are you still leaving?”
Junmyeon almost chuckled at his question. “Yeah...”
“Can’t you stay?”
“Why do you want me to...?”
“Because I love you.”
Junmyeon looked startled as he pulled away, his hands was on the Chinese male’s arms. “...you love me?”
“Yes.”
Junmyeon didn’t know how to response to that. Last time his father said those words, he ended up trying to choke the life out of him. Junmyeon couldn’t bring himself to look at Kris in the eye. “Yifan...I can’t stay.”
“I see,” Kris quietly said. “I just wish...there was anything I could do to make you change your mind.”
Junmyeon could feel how hurt Kris was when he said those words and mentally apologized. Soon awkward followed the conversation and it was Kris who fractured the silence first.
“Junmyeon-ah.”
“Yes...?”
“What am I to you?”
“What are you to...”, Junmyeon trailed off and his cheeks turned several shades deeper.
Everything, Yifan. Everything.
“Hm?” Kris hummed, clearly waiting for an answer.
Junmyeon shyly bit his lip. “...can I think of you as my lover?”
Kris’ eyes softened and he smiled. “I’d like that.” He leaned forward to bury his face on Junmyeon’s hair. The latter smelled like peach. “Then I want you to promise something.”
Junmyeon looked confused. “What is it?”
“Will you wait for me? Will you not give your heart to anyone else?”
“Yifan...?”
“I promise you. As long as you protect your heart, I will protect mine, too. When it’s time, I’ll come looking for you.”
And then Junmyeon promised Kris his heart.
***
Kyungsoo’s eyes widened when he opened the door and he immediately pulled Junmyeon into a warm hug.
The hug soon reminded him of Kris and Junmyeon burst out crying, thinking that he missed him already. Kyungsoo looked panicked and instantly apologized even though he had done nothing wrong. Junmyeon felt homesick-he thought he wanted to go home where there were Kyungsoo and the others, but maybe, maybe...Kris was his home.
Junmyeon didn’t stop crying even when he found out Jongin and the others were also there. He let Kyungsoo guided him to his bed and the younger male told him everything was going to be alright (his sob had gotten louder because it was just like what Kris had usually said). It didn’t make his sadness go away, but for the first time in a long time, Junmyeon was grateful that he had such kind friends, just like Jongdae had Yixing and the others.
Baekhyun rubbed small circles on Junmyeon’s back to soothe him. The male hadn’t seemed to recover from the shock of Junmyeon’s sudden tears. Jongin and Chanyeol were too stunned to say anything. All of them must have been confused to see Junmyeon in such state but they never asked why. For two years they had stick together, but Junmyeon had never shared anything to them.
So Junmyeon told them because he thought they deserved to know.
About his mother. About his brother. About his father. About his broken family.
His sentences were quite hard to understand because they were said between the sobs and the gasps for air, but it didn’t take long for his friends to get what was going on. The pretty male really broke down at the part where ‘there was hardly anyone left to be considered as ‘family’ anymore’. Junmyeon wiped his eyes with the handkerchief Kyungsoo handed him and took a deep breath. He was starting to get really tired of the tears. Junmyeon slowly looked up to see his friend’s expressions. They all looked shocked after his long, long stories.
“I’m sorry,” Junmyeon sheepishly apologized. “You guys can hate me now. I can live with it.”
“Why would we hate you...?” Kyungsoo asked in disbelief. “Don’t be silly, hyung.”
“I don’t know...cos you’re gonna feel pathetic for me...”
“Family don’t do that,” Baekhyun said softly and everyone turned to him. He gave Junmyeon an encouraging smile. “We’re your family, hyung. Always have, always will.” Baekhyun then reached Junmyeon to hug him. He could feel the former muttered something along the lines of ‘you’re not alone’ and ‘you know we’ll always listen to your problems’.
Kyungsoo soon joined them and Junmyeon gasped for air as Chanyeol and Jongin quickly dove in for the group hug (although Chanyeol’s intention was pure, Jongin’s was probably just half because he only hugged Kyungsoo).
***
Junmyeon soon forgot about the horrible incidents.
Kris had never stopped communicating with him and it made Junmyeon happy. He had never thought that Kris would honestly stick to his promise (because the male was handsome and flawless and perfect while Junmyeon was everything he was not). There were times when Junmyeon remembered all that happened, but then he would soon think of his friends-and his boyfriend-and he would feel a bit better.
They were cleaning their room one Sunday when Kyungsoo flicked his own forehead. He fumbled through his drawers and handed Junmyeon the mails he got while he was away. Junmyeon thanked him and took a break from the activity. He then sat on his bed while browsing through the envelopes. There was a free catalogue about sales and discounts from the market he frequented with Kyungsoo. The others weren’t important and he was about to toss them into the nearest bin when Junmyeon caught the last letter.
Junmyeon recognized the neat handwriting.
He flipped the envelope to see his brother’s name was written on it.
Junmyeon hastily ripped the letter open with trembling hands.
Kyungsoo only shot him a questioning look at his weird gesture but chose not to say anything.
Dear my lovely Junmyeon hyung,
By the time you read this, I’d probably be gone.
I’m not strong enough, hyung I’m so sorry for that.
But I have a plan. I hope it works.
Oh, and I have a very handsome friend, hyung. His name is Yifan. He’s really nice and he’s been very kind to me and I really don’t mind having him as my brother in law.
I’ve showed him your pic and I think he’s interested! You two will definitely make a cute couple.
When he comes for you, please promise me to give it a try, alright?
I love you.
Xxx
Chen
Junmyeon couldn’t hold back his tears as he sobbed with the letter still clutched dearly to his chest.
End.
“I’m sorry,” Kris spoke quietly to Minseok.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Minseok shook his head. “It was Jongdae’s decision.”
“But still, you lost someone you love so dearly-“
“And you almost lose Junmyeon. Please, Yifan. I’m alright. I’m really alright.”
Kris didn’t look convinced, but Minseok’s expression made him dropped the subject.
“Anyway... When will you move to Seoul?”
“Very soon. Transferring between universities in the middle of semester sucks. I have to wait at least six months for the new semester to start.”
“I see. But it’s gonna be worth it. Now at least we’ll have a place to crash when we go to Seoul.”
“Yeah, you guys should visit us. We’d love that.”
Minseok grinned widely and gave Kris’ shoulder a gentle pat. The older of the two then pursed his lips in thought before deciding that he was unable to contain his curiosity.
“...Yifan.”
“Yes?”
“Are you going to tell Junmyeon? That it was actually your suggestion to set those cutters and flower vases on the bookshelves.”
Kris contemplatively stared at Minseok before shaking his head.
“No. He’s had enough.”
[Shattered]