(Untitled)

[freddles]

My eyes opened and I sat quickly up in bed. The room was dark and quiet.. too quiet. I listened carefully for voices, but didn't hear any right now. Pulling back the covers, I stood up and stretched my limbs. For some reason, my arms and legs seemed to ache, probably from being so tense for a while now. I had good reason to be tense. With the

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[_wes_pryce_]

After Cordelia had left, I tried to sleep some, like she had practically ordered. And even though I was very tired, it didn't work. And after some time I was actually pondering he wisdom of not taking those pain medication. It's times like these that I envy those blasted Slayers and their quick healing. Or those vampires for that matter. Damn them all.

I found the best way to get some rest was to lay on my back and try not to move to much. But after a while even that wasn't working. I could hear voices downstairs. Probably Cordelia and hopefully Faith. I'm still worried about her. If that wasn't her, then she was still out there and could be hurt. She was our only hope to get Angelus and Buffy. Maybe it was Xander, and hopefully he'd know where she was.

Sighing, I turned carefully over to my side when I heard someone at the door. Automatically, I freeze, which is a reflex in this town. But then I'm reminded that the house is warded, which I did myself, no vampire is capable of getting in, nor a great number of demons.

Rolling over to my back, I bite down on a hiss and blink at the door. Squinting my eyes, I try to make out the dark figure standing there. "Fred?" She looks hesitant, can't say I blame her. I may be here and helping them, but not everything has been resolved. Far from it actually, and I've little doubt they ever will. "Is something wrong?"

[freddles]

As I stood in the doorway watching Wes, I couldn't help but think about how things used to be. The way things were when I first came back to L.A. Things were so less complicated and all I had to worry about was whether or not Angel and I would go out to ice cream that day. I shook my head at the thought then saw Wesley starting to turn over. I froze automatically for some reason and kept my hand still on the doorknob.

"Fred? Is something wrong?"

As he turned over, I saw that he didn't look well at all himself. What had happened to him? If Angelus or Buffy had.. well, I couldn't personally do anything about it exactly. This is me, Fred. Sure, I've got the brains for science and physics, but give me an axe and all I do is swing. Hitting something is just pure luck most of the time. Looking down at my hand on the doorknob, I shook my head.

"No, evertyhing's.. fine. I was just checkin in to see if you were back.." Fine? Well, not exactly. Although, I was doing better than he was apparently. I looked back to him.

And just checkin in wasn't the only reason I was here. I wanted to know if things were any better with Angelus and Buffy.. plus, I just couldn't stay in the room any longer. But going downstairs wasn't really an option. That would lead to more talk that I wasn't ready to hear with people I didn't exactly feel comfortable talk with. Yes, this was Wesley and I know we all haven't been exactly on great terms, but he was a friend and he did always help me out whenever I needed him.

"Are you.. alright? Did something happen with Angel?..Angelus?" I still hadn't quite gotten used to calling him Angleus outloud yet. That would probably take some getting used to. "I'm sorry if I woke you. I can go if you want to be alone for a while.."

[_wes_pryce_]

At the sound of my voice, I can see her freeze, eyes widening even in the dark. And for a brief moment I think back of how she looked like when I chased her down with an Axe. When Billy.... Is she still afraid of me? Or just disgusted like everyone else. She was the one who told me to never come back wasn't she?

Sighing, I push myself up in a sitting position, running a hand through my hair. I can't help but wince as the stitches I find on various spots. Damn that Buffy and her 'fun'. I should've know better then to go outside and try to lure her in. But apparently I do still have some kind of death wish.

"No nothing happened with Angelus," I reassured her. If it were Angelus I would probably still be there and very much dead. Or not, he always did know how to draw the fun out. Buffy could learn a lot from him. "I had a little...run in with Buffy." Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I glance at the row of painkillers before dismissing them. I need a clear head, they will only make me groggy.

"I wasn't asleep, Fred. Don't worry about it. Are you alright?" Stupid question, of course she's not alright. Her great hero turned into a monster, the man she loved left her and the only real friend she has here is Cordelia. Who's trying very hard not to panic because they lost Angel. I should stake him just for frightening them like that. Except, then they'd be mad at me. Oh wait, nothing new there.

[freddles]

Still in the doorway, I watched him as he struggled to just sit up in bed. Frowning, I took a few steps inside, closing the door halfway behind me. I had an automatic reaction to kneel by his bed and try to help his pain go away. After all that's happened, I still wanted to see him alright.

I sighed relieved at first when he said that Angelus hadn't done any of that to him. Then he mentioned Buffy. I'd never met the girl before, but from what I've heard she was more than just your average girl.. now I guess she's more than just your average vampire.

Angel.. had always been the one to say things about Buffy.. and how she fought. I remembered being so jealous of the girl right when I started staying at the hotel when Angel left to come here to see her. Well, there was always Cordy saying stuff about her which had made me laugh. I thought back to time when she and Wesley had 'imitated' Angel and Buffy's relationship. Things.. were so much different then than they are not.

"Oh.." I wanted to ask him what happened and how the hell he had that little 'run in' with Buffy, but I decided against it. He looked beat up enough now, and he didn't need me telling him he should have known better than to go out walking alone at night, or however he got mixed up with her.

"Are you doin alright? I mean, can I get you anything?"

Nodding, I smiled only slightly when he said he wasn't asleep. At least I didn't wake him up. He looked like he needed sleep more than the rest of us, anyway. At his question, I shrugged a little. Alright? Well no, not really. I halfway lied.

"I'm..okay. This all just takes some.. a lot of getting used to." Staring down at a place on the carpet, I stood awkwardly in the room, not sure why I was here exactly.. and not just in this room. I wanted to help get Angel back, but was I more of a liability here than an asset? I was poor, little, hides-in-her-room Fred. Sighing, I looked at him again.

"I guess it's just strange just being here.. in Sunnydale I mean. I just feel so out of place. But I guess there's a lot of that goin around, huh? Nothin is in it's place.. not like it used to be."

[_wes_pryce_]

Oh. Oh was the right word. And I can tell from the look on her face that its on the tip of her tongue to ask me what happened, or rather how I gotten into trouble like that in the first place. "Yes, she wanted her axe back, and I didn't want to give it to her. She took offense in that...apparently." Well, that's how it started anyway.

Pushing myself from the bed, I walk over to the window and stare out of it. "I'm fine, Fred. But thank you for asking." No need to be rude is there? But there's not much else to say between us. Everything has changed. They told me to stay away, and decided I didn't deserve a chance to explain my side of the story. Not that I could at the time, I had no voice. And now the time for explanations and excuses are long gone.

Yet here I am, helping them out once again. I'm such a fool.

I nod as she says it'll take some time to adjust. Tell me about it. I'd rather not be here at all. The last time I was here aren't particular fond memories. Well, except for Dawn. God, that poor girl. Lost just about everything she had in her life. I hope she's doing well with Giles and Willow in England. "No...But then again, nothing stays the same for long," I mutter, turning around to look at her.

"Don't worry Fred. We'll fix it and you and Cordelia will have Angel back. We have Faith on our side, we'll catch him and Buffy and find a way to re-ensoul them. We just had a minor setback." Smiling wryly, I shrug. Which,...I really shouldn't. "Aren't we used to those by now?"

[freddles]

He went on about how Buffy wanted her axe back. It seemed a little strange for that to be the only reason. Well, I guess you can never tell with a vampire. I raised a brow at him, but nodded. That was.. different.

I watched him as he left the bed and stared out the window. As he said thank you, I almost winced at the sound of his words. He acted like he was attempting to be polite, but I wasn't buying all of this. He seemed so cold, so distant.

Of course, he had been distant.. which was partly my fault. When I went to visit.. no, it wasn't really a true visit.. I simply went to see him. He wasn't able to speak yet and I just talked to him like he was the only one to blame for the whole thing. I can still remember the hurt look in his eyes when I told him not to come back to the hotel. I'm pretty sure I meant what I said at the time, but now? It all seemed so small now.

Sure, it still had a big impact on everyone, but would any of it have affected what was going on now? I couldn't think of any reason why it would have made any difference. Sighing, I looked at him as he still stared out the window.

"You're welcome, Wes." Those words seemed strange coming out of my mouth just then. He turned away from the window and faced me again. As I looked at him, I noticed that he looked older from when he was back with us at the hotel. It wasn't surprising I guess. He'd been through hell and back again, no thanks to any of us.. or me.

His words sounded reassuring, and I tried to make myself believe them. It wasn't easy. Hah. Minor setback.. that was one way to put it I guess. I smiled slightly at him, returning the shrug. "I guess we should be. Nothing new, right?"

This on the other hand, was something new for me. I hadn't really been exposed to Angel's darker half, and actually hadn't seen him since I'd been here yet. No complaining on my part.

Looking at him, I wanted to tell him that I was sorry for things I'd said, but I couldn't bring myself to do it right now. Things were too fresh and just plain awkward. I had no idea how he would react to something like that, and I didn't want make things worse.

[_wes_pryce_]

Narrowing my eyes, I glance at the face I've come to know so well since we came back from Pylea. The face I had grown to love, lose and then even hate for a small amount of time. Just like I hated all of them for turning their backs on me just like that. But Fred telling me to never come back hurt more then Angel trying to smother me with a pillow. Almost as much as Cordelia never coming by to ask my side of the story.

They may have been angry and disappointed with me, I was angry and disappointed with them. Yes, I made a mistake, but I had thought I'd be worth more. That I had meant more to them then just 'the man who gave out the orders'. I thought that I'd been a friend, a brother, a family member. I guess I was wrong...again.

And I don't think I've reassured her very much. "Yes, nothing new," I agree bitterly. Turning back to the window, I glance into the garden. Where Buffy and I had our little throwdown. It was quite exhilarating and freeing to just be abel to hit someone and not worry about hurting them.

"We'll find a way, Fred. Don't worry. Mister Giles is working on getting them back on his hand, and we're doing everything we can over here." Though, sometimes everything isn't good enough, is it? Turning back toward her again, I lean against the wall suddenly feeling tired again. "It must be very disconcerting for you to see Angel like this," I sigh. Their hero, suddenly no longer a hero but the enemy. Sounds awefully familiar to me. Odd how everyone comes running when it's Angel who is lost.

[freddles]

He turned back towards the window when he spoke and with the way he said it I wasn't sure if I still needed to be in here much longer. He didn't seem like he was at all happy to be having this conversation with me right now, and it wasn't all that easy for me either. Maybe it would just take more time.. right. This needed more than pure time to heal itself.

As I watched him stare out the window, I thought about just walking out the door without hearing anything else he had to say, but then again I'd done that one to many times in the past. After a brief period of silence, he spoke again and turned back to look at me.

Nodding, I looked down at the floor. "I know you and everyone are doing everything they can." Except me.. what am I supposed to be doing here? I looked back up at him when he mentioned Angel. He was right, I'd never seen him like he was now and.. well, I actually hadn't seen him at all since I'd been in Sunnydale.

Half shrugging and half nodding, I agreed with him. "Yeah.. I never thought that I'd see this side of him.." My eyes darted away from his. Sighing, I looked at him again. "You all would say things about if he ever.. I just didn't think it would be this bad."

[_wes_pryce_]

I know that look, I've seen it before on her. It's the one where she feels rather useless and has no real idea what she's doing here. But we're going to need everyone we can get here who even remotely knows what they're doing. Which is why a small part of me misses Gunn here. He knows what he's doing, he knows what Angelus can do, he knows how to fight vampires. We could really use him here. But that is not an option I suppose. Not after what happened between all of us.

Still, I'd think if we called him, he'd come to help us. All for the greater good. But then Los Angeles would be without protection.

"This bad," I echo her when she talks about Angelus. I give her a rueful smile, not having the heart to tell her that Angelus has been rather tame here. I've read the stories at the Watcher academy, in detail, of what he's all capbale off. He hasn't even started, he hasn't even warmed up yet. He's just...having a bit of fun while he waits for...something. "You can expect him to brood a lot when he gets back. That's when he's going to need all of you the most."

[freddles]

He smiled at me a little, almost like he was trying to reassure me again. As I thought more about Angelus and how he was acting, I felt like I needed to see if for myself. I'd heard things from people since I got here, and I'd heard things from Cordy about how he was when he turned evil in Sunnydale the first time, but it felt so hard to actual believe that Angel could act this way. Especially the Angel who I looked up to for so long.

I smiled a little when he mentioned a brooding Angel. Even though it's always somewhat irritating at the time for him to act like that, I'd give anything to have an extra broody Angel instead of the monster that he turned into right now.

"Yeah, I'm sure that he will." I looked at him for a minute when he said that Angel would need us. He was probably right, but.. only when and if we were able to get Angel back. "I guess he will.."

We'd probably need someone to help us too most likely. "So.. is this just a one time thing? I mean, will you still be here after.. or will you leave after everything's over?"

God, why exactly did I just say that? Way to use your head, Fred. Of course he'd leave after this was over.. None of us had ever tried to get in touch with him unless we needed his help. What great friends we all turned out to be.

[_wes_pryce_]

The idea of taking those pills, sounded more and more appealing the longer I was standing. I had taken up leaning against the windowsill to look at Fred, but I could still feel my body aching. I just want to get my hands on Buffy once before we re-ensoul her. That's all I ask, just once. And this time I'll be prepared.

My head shoots up at her question and I wince at the sudden movement. Narrowing my eyes I study her face, wondering what she meant with that question. I can tell she's already wishing she could take it back. Either because she's not really interested or maybe she's afraid I'd say I'd be coming back. That's never going to happen.

No matter what the outcome is here I can never go back to them. Angel wouldn't have me, even after all he'd done here. He'd just blame Angelus and go away to brood. Me? I had no evil counter part to blame for my mistakes. Just myself. It was pretty clear that they didn't want a failure as myself around anymore. Heaven forbid I might turn out to be human.

"When this is over, I'm going back to Los Angeles and work on my own agency again," I tell her stiffly. I think I need something stronger, I'm not about to take those pills. I wonder if Buffy kept any whiskey or something like that in the house. No, I can't do that either. Not with what they had already pumped in and...such.

"Why don't we go see how the others are doing?" There really isn't anything left to say between is us there? Not anymore, it seems the time for explanations and excuses has passed. On both sides.

[freddles]

There's another point for Fred in the upset or hurt Wesely category. I can't even stand here and talk with him without causing him discomfort. When he looked up at me sharply, I could tell it wasn't a painfree motion.

When he answered, I looked away from him and lowered my eyes to the floor once again. He sounded like he had permantly made up his mind about not coming back and that it would never change. As he said it, I couldn't help but feel regret and disappointment. Wesley was a huge asset to Angel Investigations.. and not just in the book department. We'd been friends, and I.. at the time, valued his friendship.

I nodded silently at his response and sighed. Standing there for a moment, I finally was able to speak. "Oh."

Well, it was speaking wasn't it? I looked back up at him when he suggested going back downstairs. Part of me was relieved that the awkwardness would be over for the most part, but with the way he changed the subject so fast it made me think that he hated being in here with me.

I nodded again and sighed. "Y-yeah.. I guess we should probably see if there's anything we can do. Well, you'd probably do as little as you can in your condition, but I.. I'll try to find something to do besides sit in my room and hide or sleep."

With that, I turned around slowly and started out the door.