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darkhawke October 27 2006, 20:06:20 UTC
You have my sympathies - a few years ago, a grandmother on a side of the family I have little contact with died of lung cancer, and I only learned because my father saw her obituary. I can certainly understand your pain. 8-(

Hopefully Oolong there in the icon can help a little?

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flowerofwinter October 27 2006, 20:16:38 UTC
That is very sweet of you and Oolong.

Andrew and I shared some special moments and I will always cherish those.

My biggest struggle at the moment is feeling guilty for getting on with my life. I almost feel as though I owe it to him for everything to fall apart, but it's just not and I feel bad because of that. It sounds stupid I know.

Can I friend you?

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darkhawke October 27 2006, 20:19:02 UTC
I don't think it sounds stupid at all - survivor's guilt is VERY hard to work through. My own version comes from my cousin telling me that my grandmother's last words were that she wished I were there.

Talk about a load of guilt to bear....

*hugs*

And as long as I can friend back, friend away!

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flowerofwinter October 27 2006, 20:29:49 UTC
I didn't even know there was a term for it, I spose it makes sense. What a horrible burden for you to bear from your Grandmother's last words. I am sure the sentiment is nice though, that she loved you dearly, maybe it was her trying to reach out to your family to get in contact with you and they just ignored her plea.

Consider yourself friended then and I look forward to seeing your name on my list.

My shift finishes in 30 minutes!

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darkhawke October 27 2006, 20:37:01 UTC
Yeah, there's a term. It typically applies to when you survive something horrible that someone else doesn't, but I *think* it can be applied to other situations as well.

Regardless, it's a tough place to be.

Yeah, she loved me dearly, the loss of contact was in large part my fault, which adds to the guilt, I'm afraid. In a nutshell, I dropped out of contact because of how my life was going, and my grandfather was never keen about me to begin with because 1) I reminded him of his dead daughter (my mother), and 2) he never really forgave my Catholic-raised mother for marrying my Protestant father.

Ah, well, let's not get all emo here. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

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