[Mission: Framing Kinjo Sae] Konohagakure no Sato, Fire Country, Friday Morning
Almost two days of running had done little but exhaust her and cover her with grit and dust and sweat. Her thoughts still spiraled around-what was up? what was down?-and it was almost with relief that Ino took to, in the little debriefing room (white walls, metal chairs, tired looking table, and feeling almost like an institution), writing her report.
Still, her stomach complained, and Ino had given up pretending that it was just the fact that she'd been living off of ration bars for the last few days that made it so. She was upset, what of it? Why?
Those questions Ino didn’t have the answers for.
The debriefing was easier, the verbal report, the written report of exactly what she'd done and why. Writing it out that way stripped it down to the bare minimum and removed the thoughts that even nearly two days of running hadn't managed to fully subsume. Target. Location. Method of execution. How the plan and the reality had differed.
Her team was finished long before she was. Her role more complicated and only she knew all the details. Now she had to write it all down. The pen scratched across the paper, the loudest sound in the room.
Ino took peace from the careful way she wrote down her take on the mission, building a fragile wall between what she'd done and what she thought. She paused, raising the pen to her lips in thought, then shook her head and finished the sentence she was on.
What did she think?
Hokage-sama had accepted the mission. That meant that even if it hadn't been her who'd done it, it would've fallen into someone else's hands for completion. Okay. So that meant the mission, as it stood, wasn't in question. Couldn't be in question.
That the mission, in and of itself, wasn't the problem. She was. There was something wrong with her, then, for not being able to deal with it. Asuma-sensei had said good. Chouji and Shikamaru had left, their reports finished quicker than hers, bickering idly about where to go for food. She'd waved off their invite, knowing it was a bad idea. Food didn’t sound appealing right now. Or company. Obviously, then, it was a problem with her. No one else seemed to care. Her fault, her weakness, one more way in which she fell behind.
Ino frowned as she wrote the next little bit. Somehow, Ino thought, people back at Fandom would probably have a lot to say about that idea.
Hokage-sama had ordered it. That was all there was to that. If she'd heard about someone else having done the mission, Ino knew she wouldn't have even blinked. But how did she feel about it when she’d been the one to do it?
Tired. Unsure. Confused.
Would she do it all over again if another mission came up?
Ino finished her written report and pushed her chair back, rereading the report to make certain it was clear. Deciding it, at least, was good enough even if she wasn’t, Ino dropped her report off with the Chuunin who'd been waiting for it and left the building.
It wasn't even a real question: of course she'd do it all over again.
Asuma-sensei had said good. Shikamaru and Chouji thought this was normal. Hokage-sama had believed she would do it. The Chuunin who’d briefed them had expected her to accept the mission. This was what her father had trained her to do. There was no way she could turn them down. Are you a shinobi or not? She didn't even really want to turn them down.
Accepting the job, the mission, was something she had to do to keep on being her.
She just had to… figure out a way to ignore how they haunted her thoughts. Ino shivered in the hot sun, shielding her eyes as she looked up to check the time. A few more hours and then her portal would be available.
…she didn't want to go back. It was making her soft-that had to be it. The reason for her incessant, pathetic thoughts. She was caught between two worlds and not good enough for either of them now. Coward. Her eyes narrowed. She was not.
Ino headed for home--home was still the flower shop with the apartment over it-chin set. She'd just have to make herself good enough for this one then, even while Fandom persisted in being soft. She'd just have to be harder and lie better.
Can you do that? she asked herself silently.
She was going to have to. Even if it killed her.
[NFB, NFI, OOC a-okay.]
Still, her stomach complained, and Ino had given up pretending that it was just the fact that she'd been living off of ration bars for the last few days that made it so. She was upset, what of it? Why?
Those questions Ino didn’t have the answers for.
The debriefing was easier, the verbal report, the written report of exactly what she'd done and why. Writing it out that way stripped it down to the bare minimum and removed the thoughts that even nearly two days of running hadn't managed to fully subsume. Target. Location. Method of execution. How the plan and the reality had differed.
Her team was finished long before she was. Her role more complicated and only she knew all the details. Now she had to write it all down. The pen scratched across the paper, the loudest sound in the room.
Ino took peace from the careful way she wrote down her take on the mission, building a fragile wall between what she'd done and what she thought. She paused, raising the pen to her lips in thought, then shook her head and finished the sentence she was on.
What did she think?
Hokage-sama had accepted the mission. That meant that even if it hadn't been her who'd done it, it would've fallen into someone else's hands for completion. Okay. So that meant the mission, as it stood, wasn't in question. Couldn't be in question.
That the mission, in and of itself, wasn't the problem. She was. There was something wrong with her, then, for not being able to deal with it. Asuma-sensei had said good. Chouji and Shikamaru had left, their reports finished quicker than hers, bickering idly about where to go for food. She'd waved off their invite, knowing it was a bad idea. Food didn’t sound appealing right now. Or company. Obviously, then, it was a problem with her. No one else seemed to care. Her fault, her weakness, one more way in which she fell behind.
Ino frowned as she wrote the next little bit. Somehow, Ino thought, people back at Fandom would probably have a lot to say about that idea.
Hokage-sama had ordered it. That was all there was to that. If she'd heard about someone else having done the mission, Ino knew she wouldn't have even blinked. But how did she feel about it when she’d been the one to do it?
Tired. Unsure. Confused.
Would she do it all over again if another mission came up?
Ino finished her written report and pushed her chair back, rereading the report to make certain it was clear. Deciding it, at least, was good enough even if she wasn’t, Ino dropped her report off with the Chuunin who'd been waiting for it and left the building.
It wasn't even a real question: of course she'd do it all over again.
Asuma-sensei had said good. Shikamaru and Chouji thought this was normal. Hokage-sama had believed she would do it. The Chuunin who’d briefed them had expected her to accept the mission. This was what her father had trained her to do. There was no way she could turn them down. Are you a shinobi or not? She didn't even really want to turn them down.
Accepting the job, the mission, was something she had to do to keep on being her.
She just had to… figure out a way to ignore how they haunted her thoughts. Ino shivered in the hot sun, shielding her eyes as she looked up to check the time. A few more hours and then her portal would be available.
…she didn't want to go back. It was making her soft-that had to be it. The reason for her incessant, pathetic thoughts. She was caught between two worlds and not good enough for either of them now. Coward. Her eyes narrowed. She was not.
Ino headed for home--home was still the flower shop with the apartment over it-chin set. She'd just have to make herself good enough for this one then, even while Fandom persisted in being soft. She'd just have to be harder and lie better.
Can you do that? she asked herself silently.
She was going to have to. Even if it killed her.
[NFB, NFI, OOC a-okay.]