Aug 10, 2005 15:53
I broke down immediately. I think it was a combination of the harsh truth and the person who said it which made everything worst. And I cried. and cried and cried. Went insanely, maniacally and uncontrollably distressed. I went berserk. Refused to return to reality. To the cold, hard world. It was easier to be broken; to coil up in the labyrinth of insanity. I let go like never before. Cried as hard as I could, I pulled at my head of hair, as if to banish all hurt, anger and disappointment I had buried up inside me. He had to carry me up, in my derailed subconsciousness. He put me down, cleaned my face, and pushed my hair aside. The mixed look of worry and lost on his face made me not want to wake up from my insanity, but at the same time, I wanted to emerge from all the craziness and tell him everything’s alright, to hug him tight. But I did not have the strength to. This hurts too much, I’m sorry. Hysteria beckons.