A Very Important Message
I am so sick and tired of this drama. It's all "he/she said this about so and so" and "he/she did or did not do this or that to me" and of course the opposing party always denies the statements of the other and instead turns around with a negative statement about the person who said it in the first place. What does this solve? In fact, nothing more than temporary emotional release that will by its very nature simply build up again for a future "outburst."
One thing ends and something else begins. This is continuous and frankly, it makes me want to cry. It makes me sick. And it makes me question who my real friends are and who is being honest with me. And I doubt I am the only one who is plauged by this question and who is tired of all of this negativity.
There is always someone not liking someone else for some reason that makes sense to that person based on emotionally based "logic". Or, someone just says they don't care either way when clearly they do b/c they turn around later and say negative things. Can't people just say what they mean? Does everything have to be some kind of fabrication for self-sustanance and heightening as well as personal rationalization and justification, or some kind of negatively charged statement then followed by a contradiction? Contradictions and negativity. It's extremely upsetting. Especially among a group of "friends".
This is very sad. I would love to have a party over the summer with EVERYONE invited, but I can barely even consider this. Someone will have to hold back their hostility towards someone else, someone won't come b/c of someone else, and maybe an all out argument would break out among the tenseness. That's not my idea of fun.
This is not to blame anyone or to attack anyone, it's quite the opposite. It's a call for peace. No, it's a plea. I'm asking everyone who reads this to genuinely take a look at yourself HONESTLY. Just truly examine yourself and your behaviors and statements. Admit, at least to yourself, the mistakes you have made and see them as oppurtunities to grow, not as habits to live by. Dig deep within and release the grudges, irrational disdain for others, and hell even what may sem to be a RATIONAL disdain. Whatever it is, it's in the PAST. And if you can't get past the previous harms that others have done against you, then how do you expect those very people to get past acting those ways? Life is about change, growth, and experience. These things are largely brought about by the relationships we form with others, especially our lasting friendships. I'm not asking you to LIKE absolutely everyone. But if you don't like someone, truly know why that is. You might find out it has something to do with yourself as well as the other person. And if you don't like them, don't PRETEND to like them. Don't act friendly, say things between you are great, and then walk away to talk trash about them to someone else. If you don't like them, move on with your life. Don't dwell on your negative feelings and let them dictate your actions and words. If you really wanted nothing to do with them, you wouldn't continue to bring them up in conversation or say that you would talk to them if you get the chance to.
No one is perfect. Everyone has, at some point, said some things that they don't mean out of anger, myself included. Holding a grudge against someone for doing this, to me at least, is an act of self-denial. I'm not saying be PLEASED with it, but at least understand, as a HUMAN who also has emotions, why that person acted the way they did and said the things that they said, even if it hurts you. Realize that you are probably not the only one hurt from the situation. Angry outbursts don't come out of nowhere. They are a way of dealing with pain that can't be otherwise adequately coped with, whether that pain comes from the person the outburst was directed at or even a more profound pain that originated from within the person and was only triggered by the object of the outburst. Either way, these experiences shoudl not be looked upon as concrete unchangeable statements and actions that were rational, calculated, and certain truths. In fact, they are nothing more than irrational falacies otherwise known as DEFENSE MECHANISMS. If you don't know what those are, I highly suggest you look them up as a means of self-analysis and improvement. Everyone does them. No one is immune at all times, but if you are aware, you can lessen their control over you and have more of an understanding for why others act and say the things that they do.
I really hope that this statement reaches you all, but if even one life is changed because of it....if even ONE SINGLE PERSON decides to improve themself and TRULY work towards bettering themself and their relationship....then this will worthwhile. I invite you all to repost this or link to this and spread this very important message.
~Kris
One thing ends and something else begins. This is continuous and frankly, it makes me want to cry. It makes me sick. And it makes me question who my real friends are and who is being honest with me. And I doubt I am the only one who is plauged by this question and who is tired of all of this negativity.
There is always someone not liking someone else for some reason that makes sense to that person based on emotionally based "logic". Or, someone just says they don't care either way when clearly they do b/c they turn around later and say negative things. Can't people just say what they mean? Does everything have to be some kind of fabrication for self-sustanance and heightening as well as personal rationalization and justification, or some kind of negatively charged statement then followed by a contradiction? Contradictions and negativity. It's extremely upsetting. Especially among a group of "friends".
This is very sad. I would love to have a party over the summer with EVERYONE invited, but I can barely even consider this. Someone will have to hold back their hostility towards someone else, someone won't come b/c of someone else, and maybe an all out argument would break out among the tenseness. That's not my idea of fun.
This is not to blame anyone or to attack anyone, it's quite the opposite. It's a call for peace. No, it's a plea. I'm asking everyone who reads this to genuinely take a look at yourself HONESTLY. Just truly examine yourself and your behaviors and statements. Admit, at least to yourself, the mistakes you have made and see them as oppurtunities to grow, not as habits to live by. Dig deep within and release the grudges, irrational disdain for others, and hell even what may sem to be a RATIONAL disdain. Whatever it is, it's in the PAST. And if you can't get past the previous harms that others have done against you, then how do you expect those very people to get past acting those ways? Life is about change, growth, and experience. These things are largely brought about by the relationships we form with others, especially our lasting friendships. I'm not asking you to LIKE absolutely everyone. But if you don't like someone, truly know why that is. You might find out it has something to do with yourself as well as the other person. And if you don't like them, don't PRETEND to like them. Don't act friendly, say things between you are great, and then walk away to talk trash about them to someone else. If you don't like them, move on with your life. Don't dwell on your negative feelings and let them dictate your actions and words. If you really wanted nothing to do with them, you wouldn't continue to bring them up in conversation or say that you would talk to them if you get the chance to.
No one is perfect. Everyone has, at some point, said some things that they don't mean out of anger, myself included. Holding a grudge against someone for doing this, to me at least, is an act of self-denial. I'm not saying be PLEASED with it, but at least understand, as a HUMAN who also has emotions, why that person acted the way they did and said the things that they said, even if it hurts you. Realize that you are probably not the only one hurt from the situation. Angry outbursts don't come out of nowhere. They are a way of dealing with pain that can't be otherwise adequately coped with, whether that pain comes from the person the outburst was directed at or even a more profound pain that originated from within the person and was only triggered by the object of the outburst. Either way, these experiences shoudl not be looked upon as concrete unchangeable statements and actions that were rational, calculated, and certain truths. In fact, they are nothing more than irrational falacies otherwise known as DEFENSE MECHANISMS. If you don't know what those are, I highly suggest you look them up as a means of self-analysis and improvement. Everyone does them. No one is immune at all times, but if you are aware, you can lessen their control over you and have more of an understanding for why others act and say the things that they do.
I really hope that this statement reaches you all, but if even one life is changed because of it....if even ONE SINGLE PERSON decides to improve themself and TRULY work towards bettering themself and their relationship....then this will worthwhile. I invite you all to repost this or link to this and spread this very important message.
~Kris