but i am in control. of something.
i'm sitting, inside, on a sunday afternoon. uncomfortable, the perfect picture of what i yearn never to do. it rained last night -- hard for what seemed like only minutes -- spread out in segments throughout the night. hard, rock-like rain, moments of pounding, banging, fluid destruction. today however there are no clouds in the sky, but the breeze is just enough to turn the chime into a distraction rather than it's normal calming.
my head today is cloudy with thoughts that i, myself, don't feel as if i have much control over. my very own life and i am in the back seat watching as someone else, someone i have yet to see, runs it for me. is she part of me, this entity that without any care in the world starts each day new, forgetting the promises she made before she set off to sleep the night before? i continue to concern myself with the affectations of others and pay no attention to my own. i make a promise to myself and i allow the very trip in my step to change it. but i am in control. of something.
my head today is cloudy with thoughts that i, myself, don't feel as if i have much control over. my very own life and i am in the back seat watching as someone else, someone i have yet to see, runs it for me. is she part of me, this entity that without any care in the world starts each day new, forgetting the promises she made before she set off to sleep the night before? i continue to concern myself with the affectations of others and pay no attention to my own. i make a promise to myself and i allow the very trip in my step to change it. but i am in control. of something.