The Storm is Over....
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind- one test after another.Yet it seems I have passed with flying colors and that the whirlwind has subsided.
Mother came out of a 5 1/2 hour surgery- which was to remove an 8lb malignant tumor- eating solid food the next day and going home only four days after that. She is up and walking around [albeit with a walker], the right side of her abdomen stapled from one end to the other, and her catch phrase is still "I am perfectly capable." She is getting cabin fever and I fear will end up smacking someone if she is not able to get out of the house for something other than a doctor's visit soon lol! She is indeed an incredible woman- at 73, able to fight and now beat cancer with everything she has. Matter of fact, her comment to me when she was diagnosed was "I'm not just gonna lay down and die now!" She has had a couple of meltdowns, bouts of fear, but all in all no fear, no worry, just faith.
I guess that is where I get my spirit of perseverance from.
As for myself, I now have a job- starting Monday. I have never truly felt the panic that I usually feel at times like this, though. Actually, there has been an incredible sense of peace, of knowing that things were going to be OK on both ends of this disaster. Sure, I've done my meltdowns, too, but all in all, peace. It is odd for sure, yet somehow I have felt more protected and safe than I have for a long time- guess faith does that to you tee hee!
I must apologize, though, to all of my friends for my lack of communication. See, I tend to withdraw in times of strife, unwilling or unable to hear the "I'm sorrys" and such no matter how heartfelt they may be. For to put myself out there like that, like "Hey, I'm having issues," is to make myself to appear weak. I am truly an odd bird because, although I actually CRAVE support during these times, I loathe to ask, to even indicate that I need it, because I am afraid I will appear weak, vulnerable, that then people will see that I am not truly a Superwoman like I portray myself to be, but a little girl in need of a shoulder to cry on.
I have learned, however, that it is okay- HUMAN even- to be weak at times, that no matter how strong the person, there will always be times that one needs support and comfort. And that is where the true friends will show their faces and we should accept them with open arms.
Thanks to all of you that have been supportive, that have been there, that have made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry, and most importantly....
Click to view