just a piece of emo fic
It's everything or nothing. It can't just be any thing - running at random in such a manner is sure to get you killed. You'll fall into a big, black abyss. Running at random, picking and choosing without purpose, will make you stumble. Once you stumble, you'll fall. Once you fall, you'll disappear. There is no way back from that. When you disappear, you're gone.
So it has to be everything or nothing. At the same time, though, it has to be something. If you don't make a decision, you won't grow. You can't move. You freeze, the world moving around you in circles, but not including you. It's you and them. You against them. When you freeze, undecided, you can't be like them and they won't like you. It's that simple. Always treacherously simple, in which the entire complexity lies.
Imagine what would happen if you took it all. Paradise. Yes. No one left behind. Nothing forgotten in the process. Oh, if you choose everything, you'll never have to choose again. Never again. No more painful decisions. Everyone will be included in your yes. Everything will continue dancing in their rounds with your blessing. You might not be in full control, but you have accepted that. You've chosen it. In doing that, you've been crowned king.
They dance. You dance. They sing, you sing too. They die and so do you. You die with them.
Yet, it's easy to tell that you're afraid. You know the script by now. You have seen in which direction the rails are going. You see the way they have turned on to - and happily they skip and jump towards the abyss.
You scream. You hurt. What to do, you ask. What to do now, little man? Everything. You had it all, but it turns out that everything is nothing. Everything is dying and you're afraid of dying. No, you want to live. If only by halves. If only barely. They continue, but you stop. You don't, you can't, move. You want something, but not this. No, not this. Not everything.
It's all or nothing. It's the rule you live by. The code. All or nothing. All is nothing, so you've made your choice. You can't have it all, but you want something. Something that you can't have. Instead you go for your last option. It's that or taking the plunge. You're afraid of falling. You choose nothing.
It's all or nothing. Your decision fell on something, not any thing, but nothing.