This is Hap pi n e s s. - 1/1
This is Hap pi n e s s. (just kidding) (yunho/jaejoong)
1 485 words. angst. PG
◦ originally posted here.
A house with red windows in the middle of a field of daffodil-shaded dandelions and a sun that will set only when we're ready for tomorrow. One, two; the sound of his pulse reverberating in his chest and the number of people it takes for him to be happy.
jaejoong laughs and tucks a yellow weed behind his ear, waving to yunho as he leans over the window ledge. yunho blows him a kiss and jaejoong jumps up to catch it in his cupped hands, marvelling at the shine of it. he pushes his hand to his mouth, and, after making brief eye contact, cheekily sticks his tongue out.
"frenched you," he shouts, blowing another kiss back and running-stumbling back into the green yellow fields. yunho catches it and presses his hand to his chest, and yells back, "horny bastard."
jaejoong's laughter chases him all the way down to his toes.
suddenly, jaejoong's shrinking form spins around and falls flat onto his back. yunho is worried for a split second until he can hear loud, offkey warbles of a song.
"yunho baby, we're untouchable," to the tune of something that sounds like it could have come from a kindergarten class somewhere in the backwoods. "let's play hideandseek and like this you'll always find me because we're cheaters, we cheated our way out of every thing."
yunho vaults through the open window and sprints into the field. he thought he saw jaejoong fall here, but there's only an abandoned jacket and a single boot left.
"you'd better not be inside the house after running around like that barefoot," yunho yells, getting down onto his stomach and crawling under the tall tall grass.
jaejoong's laughter leads him right, leads him left, leads him straight ahead but never back.
blindly, yunho follows. (always forever always)
he crashes into jaejoong's other boot and pulls the bouquet of wildly arranged flowers out of it. he breathes in the raw, chaotic scent, and it's so strong it's dizzying. a hand grabs his ankle and then arms fling around his waist. there's a cheek rubbing against his butt and it would be disturbing if it he didn't know who it was.
"i'm going to fart in your face, kim jaejoong."
jaejoong pushes yunho's knees in and he falls. before he even thinks of getting back up, jaejoong has crawled right up his body, palms to each side of his head, their thighs and stomachs pressed against each other with the blinding sunlight bleaching jaejoong's hair whiteshockingwhite but so pale in comparison to the wide grin that stretches across jaejoong's cheeks.
"we'll live here forever," jaejoong whispers into yunho's ear.
yunho pulls jaejoong's head into the crook of his neck, arms tight around his waist. he can feel each puff of air from jaejoong's nose brush against his adam's apple, and the swirl of designs that jaejoong traces against his shoulder with the tip of his finger.
"forever," jaejoong says again, like he means it.
yunho breathes in the thick scent of the flowers and jaejoong's sweat and can't think of anything to say back.
i'm awake, you're still sleeping
the sun will rise like yesterday
everything that we are now
is everything we can't let go
or it's gone forever, far away
i hope tomorrow is like today
jaejoong hums a random string of notes as he slices a head of cabbage up. a timer dings somewhere to his left, and he reaches into the creaking oven to take out a pan of salmon. he pushes the rice cooker to the side as he takes down another pot and fills it with water from the long-necked tap. soup, he thinks, with some rice and a good piece of salmon and the leftovers from the days past should be enough. maybe he'll make some dessert too. an apple sliced into neat sections with a pretty glass bowl of condensed milk for dipping.
yunho comes up behind him with a fork in hand and neatly cuts off a piece of salmon. he pops it into his mouth before jaejoong can argue. his smile is boyish and disarming, probably because of the small sliver of garlic stuck between his two front teeth. jaejoong laughs, pulling yunho's head towards his and working it out with his tongue.
"you're disgusting," yunho says, fingers looped around the longer strands of hair at jaejoong's neck. he leans in again for another kiss, and jaejoong forgets to push him away.
"mmhm," he hums against yunho's tongue. he wishes everything would stop for this moment but all of a sudden there's an itch in his throat. he wills it to go away but it only intensifies.
don't don't don't not now come back later when he's asleep please not now please please oh god--
and he shoves yunho away and coughs into his palm, loud hacking coughs that wrack up blood from his stomach and onto his hand. he closes his fist, hoping that yunho doesn't see it and rubs it onto the side of his jeans.
yunho does, yunho sees everything. jaejoong smiles and says, "oops."
yunho pushes his hands against jaejoong's jawline, and he looks like he wants to say something but the way he bites so hard at his lip that it bleeds makes it look like he's trying to swallow them back into his stomach.
jaejoong turns around and opens the fridge, pulling out a glass jar of kimchee. it makes him sick to his stomach when he realises that the red of the spices looks like the red of the blood on his pants but he says under his breath, "don't say anything," and when yunho presses his mouth against his neck he knows that he hears and understands.
yunho hugs him from the back, pulling the jar from his hands and twisting it open with his arms tucked under jaejoong's.
"you shouldn't each so much of this," yunho says under his breath. jaejoong takes a fork and carefully arranges them in piles onto the shallow stone dish. he's smiling when he says, "it doesn't matter anyway."
yunho doesn't say anything to that, only breathes in jaejoong's ear. then, "i'll finish up in here. why don't you tidy up the bedroom?"
jaejoong's hands are shaking and he doesn't even notice. the fork clatters to the floor and he wishes that the grip he has on yunho's arm was as tight as he wanted it to be.
"sure," he says, and he smiles all the way down the halls until he reaches the bedroom. he pulls the heavy blankets off onto the ground (were they always this heavy? was it like this when he first came here? he doesn't remember, can't remember. doesn't want to remember.), rips the pillows from their cases and yanks the bedspread off. he kicks it all into the hall, pushing and shoving and clenching his fists until the room is bare save for the white pillow and white mattress and rustic wooden frame. he crawls onto the empty mattress and he's halfway asleep until something vibrates under his shoulder. he jerks violently and that sound of something vibrating sounds so familiar but he wishes it didn't and it takes way too much energy for him to lift the mattress up.
there's a cellphone there, simple and old and there's a new messages scrolling across the front screen.
jaejoong could scream.
but instead he closes the door as quietly as he can and barricades it with a chair and sits on the floor and reads.
come home, hyung.
i want to see him too, why was it just you? i want to be there too. tell me, does he still smile?
if you don't admit him to a hospital soon, hyung, he is going to have less than 25% chance of survival.
jung yunho you are being ridiculous if you ignore this i am going to send warrior pidgeons out to find you and they will rip your eyes out and then you will come home.
come home.
come home.
leave him.
we love him too, you know.
it's hopeless. there's no point in staying. it's going to be too late. you've ruined him.why didn't you listen before? hurry hurry the cat scans say it's spreading.
come home.
come home.
come home.
jaejoong marks them all as unread, puts it back under the mattress, rearranges the room and pulls fresh sheets from the closet and the room looks as good as new. when yunho is finished cooking and has put away all the sheets spread down the hall, jaejoong is sitting on the bed with his hands clasped on his knees and a little smile on his face.
"forever," he says again, when yunho's arms are tight around him and he can't see anything except for the dangling yellow light from the ceiling and it looks nothing like the sun but jaejoong thinks that it could blind him just the same.
don't you go away tomorrow
i don't think i could handle that
you're probably dreaming that you're flying on
then you start to fall but then you rise and shine forever
don't go away
i hope tomorrow is like today
pretty damn far.
1 485 words. angst. PG
◦ originally posted here.
A house with red windows in the middle of a field of daffodil-shaded dandelions and a sun that will set only when we're ready for tomorrow. One, two; the sound of his pulse reverberating in his chest and the number of people it takes for him to be happy.
jaejoong laughs and tucks a yellow weed behind his ear, waving to yunho as he leans over the window ledge. yunho blows him a kiss and jaejoong jumps up to catch it in his cupped hands, marvelling at the shine of it. he pushes his hand to his mouth, and, after making brief eye contact, cheekily sticks his tongue out.
"frenched you," he shouts, blowing another kiss back and running-stumbling back into the green yellow fields. yunho catches it and presses his hand to his chest, and yells back, "horny bastard."
jaejoong's laughter chases him all the way down to his toes.
suddenly, jaejoong's shrinking form spins around and falls flat onto his back. yunho is worried for a split second until he can hear loud, offkey warbles of a song.
"yunho baby, we're untouchable," to the tune of something that sounds like it could have come from a kindergarten class somewhere in the backwoods. "let's play hideandseek and like this you'll always find me because we're cheaters, we cheated our way out of every thing."
yunho vaults through the open window and sprints into the field. he thought he saw jaejoong fall here, but there's only an abandoned jacket and a single boot left.
"you'd better not be inside the house after running around like that barefoot," yunho yells, getting down onto his stomach and crawling under the tall tall grass.
jaejoong's laughter leads him right, leads him left, leads him straight ahead but never back.
blindly, yunho follows. (always forever always)
he crashes into jaejoong's other boot and pulls the bouquet of wildly arranged flowers out of it. he breathes in the raw, chaotic scent, and it's so strong it's dizzying. a hand grabs his ankle and then arms fling around his waist. there's a cheek rubbing against his butt and it would be disturbing if it he didn't know who it was.
"i'm going to fart in your face, kim jaejoong."
jaejoong pushes yunho's knees in and he falls. before he even thinks of getting back up, jaejoong has crawled right up his body, palms to each side of his head, their thighs and stomachs pressed against each other with the blinding sunlight bleaching jaejoong's hair whiteshockingwhite but so pale in comparison to the wide grin that stretches across jaejoong's cheeks.
"we'll live here forever," jaejoong whispers into yunho's ear.
yunho pulls jaejoong's head into the crook of his neck, arms tight around his waist. he can feel each puff of air from jaejoong's nose brush against his adam's apple, and the swirl of designs that jaejoong traces against his shoulder with the tip of his finger.
"forever," jaejoong says again, like he means it.
yunho breathes in the thick scent of the flowers and jaejoong's sweat and can't think of anything to say back.
i'm awake, you're still sleeping
the sun will rise like yesterday
everything that we are now
is everything we can't let go
or it's gone forever, far away
i hope tomorrow is like today
jaejoong hums a random string of notes as he slices a head of cabbage up. a timer dings somewhere to his left, and he reaches into the creaking oven to take out a pan of salmon. he pushes the rice cooker to the side as he takes down another pot and fills it with water from the long-necked tap. soup, he thinks, with some rice and a good piece of salmon and the leftovers from the days past should be enough. maybe he'll make some dessert too. an apple sliced into neat sections with a pretty glass bowl of condensed milk for dipping.
yunho comes up behind him with a fork in hand and neatly cuts off a piece of salmon. he pops it into his mouth before jaejoong can argue. his smile is boyish and disarming, probably because of the small sliver of garlic stuck between his two front teeth. jaejoong laughs, pulling yunho's head towards his and working it out with his tongue.
"you're disgusting," yunho says, fingers looped around the longer strands of hair at jaejoong's neck. he leans in again for another kiss, and jaejoong forgets to push him away.
"mmhm," he hums against yunho's tongue. he wishes everything would stop for this moment but all of a sudden there's an itch in his throat. he wills it to go away but it only intensifies.
don't don't don't not now come back later when he's asleep please not now please please oh god--
and he shoves yunho away and coughs into his palm, loud hacking coughs that wrack up blood from his stomach and onto his hand. he closes his fist, hoping that yunho doesn't see it and rubs it onto the side of his jeans.
yunho does, yunho sees everything. jaejoong smiles and says, "oops."
yunho pushes his hands against jaejoong's jawline, and he looks like he wants to say something but the way he bites so hard at his lip that it bleeds makes it look like he's trying to swallow them back into his stomach.
jaejoong turns around and opens the fridge, pulling out a glass jar of kimchee. it makes him sick to his stomach when he realises that the red of the spices looks like the red of the blood on his pants but he says under his breath, "don't say anything," and when yunho presses his mouth against his neck he knows that he hears and understands.
yunho hugs him from the back, pulling the jar from his hands and twisting it open with his arms tucked under jaejoong's.
"you shouldn't each so much of this," yunho says under his breath. jaejoong takes a fork and carefully arranges them in piles onto the shallow stone dish. he's smiling when he says, "it doesn't matter anyway."
yunho doesn't say anything to that, only breathes in jaejoong's ear. then, "i'll finish up in here. why don't you tidy up the bedroom?"
jaejoong's hands are shaking and he doesn't even notice. the fork clatters to the floor and he wishes that the grip he has on yunho's arm was as tight as he wanted it to be.
"sure," he says, and he smiles all the way down the halls until he reaches the bedroom. he pulls the heavy blankets off onto the ground (were they always this heavy? was it like this when he first came here? he doesn't remember, can't remember. doesn't want to remember.), rips the pillows from their cases and yanks the bedspread off. he kicks it all into the hall, pushing and shoving and clenching his fists until the room is bare save for the white pillow and white mattress and rustic wooden frame. he crawls onto the empty mattress and he's halfway asleep until something vibrates under his shoulder. he jerks violently and that sound of something vibrating sounds so familiar but he wishes it didn't and it takes way too much energy for him to lift the mattress up.
there's a cellphone there, simple and old and there's a new messages scrolling across the front screen.
jaejoong could scream.
but instead he closes the door as quietly as he can and barricades it with a chair and sits on the floor and reads.
come home, hyung.
i want to see him too, why was it just you? i want to be there too. tell me, does he still smile?
if you don't admit him to a hospital soon, hyung, he is going to have less than 25% chance of survival.
jung yunho you are being ridiculous if you ignore this i am going to send warrior pidgeons out to find you and they will rip your eyes out and then you will come home.
come home.
come home.
leave him.
we love him too, you know.
it's hopeless. there's no point in staying. it's going to be too late. you've ruined him.why didn't you listen before? hurry hurry the cat scans say it's spreading.
come home.
come home.
come home.
jaejoong marks them all as unread, puts it back under the mattress, rearranges the room and pulls fresh sheets from the closet and the room looks as good as new. when yunho is finished cooking and has put away all the sheets spread down the hall, jaejoong is sitting on the bed with his hands clasped on his knees and a little smile on his face.
"forever," he says again, when yunho's arms are tight around him and he can't see anything except for the dangling yellow light from the ceiling and it looks nothing like the sun but jaejoong thinks that it could blind him just the same.
don't you go away tomorrow
i don't think i could handle that
you're probably dreaming that you're flying on
then you start to fall but then you rise and shine forever
don't go away
i hope tomorrow is like today
pretty damn far.