goodbye to a person staying - 1/1
goodbye to a person staying (yunho/jaejoong)
826 words. angst. pg
◦ originally posted here.
the notes of each dischordant melody will scrape against his skin until he bleeds. he won't regret a drop.
when yunho wakes up, he finds himself surrounded by blaring notes that go up and down in crescendos that sound lovely and horrible and powerful and it makes him want to tear his ears out. the room the bed the blankets the walls are white, a stark contrast to the exploding colours that result from the deafening sound of the music. he stumbles out of the room, hoping it will go away with a change in surroundings. but it follows him, and he keeps stumbling through the seemingly endless halls until he finds something recognisable: broad shoulders and a stupidly slim waist and jeans tucked into mid-calf boots and some pricey bag and jaejoong. he runs up to him, grabbing him by the shoulders and spinning him around, slamming him against the wall.
"listen," yunho demands. "can't you hear it?"
jaejoong stares, wide-eyed and terrified. he has a phone dangling from one hand and his eyes are shining like glass. "what?"
"listen! listen, can't you hear me?" he repeats, grabbing jaejoong's wrists and pulling him towards him. jaejoong's eyes are staring at his mouth, whirring back and forth as if trying to decipher a code but he fails and shoves yunho away.
"there's-- listen! someone's singing."
"yunho," jaejoong says, sadly. "i can't hear you, remember?"
"what? of course you can," yunho insists. his head is throbbing. "i'm talking right now."
"can you slow the fuck down?" jaejoong screams. "i can't read your lips that fast."
"oh my god," yunho says. "are you, are you deaf?" he thinks he could cry. "where are we? what's going on?"
"deaf? did you just say deaf?"
yunho wants to rip his ears out of his head; the music makes it so hard for him to hear jaejoong's words.
"yes. i did. are you," he points at jaejoong, "deaf?" he points at his own ears. jaejoong looks at yunho, his mouth trembling once, and grabs him by the ears and pulls him until their foreheads are touching and their chests are pressed hard against each other.
"do you feel that?" jaejoong says. "when i'm speaking. do you feel your chest vibrate with me?"
yunho nods.
"say something, yunho," jaejoong says, voice cracking.
"what are you trying to prove--"
yunho stops. "what?"
jaejoong stares him straight in the eye and holds his head in place so he has no way of ripping himself from jaejoong's grip and running away and screaming and yelling and shouting until someone tells him to quiet down because no, no. the blood in his ears tells him otherwise, he has to be able to speak. he can still hear himeslf speak, why isn't his voicebox vibrating?
"what? hello? can't you hear me? why isn't my voice travelling into your chest?" yunho says, breathing heavily.
"do you know where you are, yunho?" jaejoong breathes, clenching the sides of his ears to tightly that he thinks that jaejoong just might rip his ears out for him.
"no," he says, something shattering when he can't feel anything tremble between their bodies.
jaejoong kisses him hard and desperate, pressing yunho's face tightly against his own and leaving no space between them. yunho reciprocates, uncertainly, hands barely touching the slope of jaejoong's back.
the music changes course. it's louder than before and the voices are starting to become clearer. but the more that they do the more yunho wants to cry.
jaejoong presses his cheek against yunho's, breathing hard into his ear. yunho finally wraps his arms around the other man, holding him because this is familiar, this he can understand.
"when you wake up," jaejoong whispers, and yunho has no idea how he can still hear him because the music and the voice is so loud now it feels like it could shatter eardrums, "nothing will change. your voice is gone forever."
"what?" he chokes, trying to push jaejoong away to see his face but he keeps his arms tight around yunho's neck and he can only struggle.
"these songs, you can't ever forget them. memorise them."
"i can't, i can't even hear you."
"that voice, that deafening loud and annoying voice that is killing you but i promise you it will stop, i promise, is mine."
"what are you saying? i thought you couldn't hear the music."
jaejoong is panting against his ear now, each seemingly weaker than the next. "i." he presses his lips against yunho's ear, yunho's eyes, yunho's cheeks, yunho's neck, yunho's mouth.
"i love you."
yunho shudders
and finds himself back at the bed in the white room with the white walls and white floors and white sheets. jaejoong is nowhere, and his eyes are spinning but he can still see the wires leading from the ticking and beeping machines into his body, the baskets of flowers and fruits and cards that bleed 'i'm so sorry' from their fold, and, what's driving him insane is,
the complete and total silence that swallows the room whole.
826 words. angst. pg
◦ originally posted here.
the notes of each dischordant melody will scrape against his skin until he bleeds. he won't regret a drop.
when yunho wakes up, he finds himself surrounded by blaring notes that go up and down in crescendos that sound lovely and horrible and powerful and it makes him want to tear his ears out. the room the bed the blankets the walls are white, a stark contrast to the exploding colours that result from the deafening sound of the music. he stumbles out of the room, hoping it will go away with a change in surroundings. but it follows him, and he keeps stumbling through the seemingly endless halls until he finds something recognisable: broad shoulders and a stupidly slim waist and jeans tucked into mid-calf boots and some pricey bag and jaejoong. he runs up to him, grabbing him by the shoulders and spinning him around, slamming him against the wall.
"listen," yunho demands. "can't you hear it?"
jaejoong stares, wide-eyed and terrified. he has a phone dangling from one hand and his eyes are shining like glass. "what?"
"listen! listen, can't you hear me?" he repeats, grabbing jaejoong's wrists and pulling him towards him. jaejoong's eyes are staring at his mouth, whirring back and forth as if trying to decipher a code but he fails and shoves yunho away.
"there's-- listen! someone's singing."
"yunho," jaejoong says, sadly. "i can't hear you, remember?"
"what? of course you can," yunho insists. his head is throbbing. "i'm talking right now."
"can you slow the fuck down?" jaejoong screams. "i can't read your lips that fast."
"oh my god," yunho says. "are you, are you deaf?" he thinks he could cry. "where are we? what's going on?"
"deaf? did you just say deaf?"
yunho wants to rip his ears out of his head; the music makes it so hard for him to hear jaejoong's words.
"yes. i did. are you," he points at jaejoong, "deaf?" he points at his own ears. jaejoong looks at yunho, his mouth trembling once, and grabs him by the ears and pulls him until their foreheads are touching and their chests are pressed hard against each other.
"do you feel that?" jaejoong says. "when i'm speaking. do you feel your chest vibrate with me?"
yunho nods.
"say something, yunho," jaejoong says, voice cracking.
"what are you trying to prove--"
yunho stops. "what?"
jaejoong stares him straight in the eye and holds his head in place so he has no way of ripping himself from jaejoong's grip and running away and screaming and yelling and shouting until someone tells him to quiet down because no, no. the blood in his ears tells him otherwise, he has to be able to speak. he can still hear himeslf speak, why isn't his voicebox vibrating?
"what? hello? can't you hear me? why isn't my voice travelling into your chest?" yunho says, breathing heavily.
"do you know where you are, yunho?" jaejoong breathes, clenching the sides of his ears to tightly that he thinks that jaejoong just might rip his ears out for him.
"no," he says, something shattering when he can't feel anything tremble between their bodies.
jaejoong kisses him hard and desperate, pressing yunho's face tightly against his own and leaving no space between them. yunho reciprocates, uncertainly, hands barely touching the slope of jaejoong's back.
the music changes course. it's louder than before and the voices are starting to become clearer. but the more that they do the more yunho wants to cry.
jaejoong presses his cheek against yunho's, breathing hard into his ear. yunho finally wraps his arms around the other man, holding him because this is familiar, this he can understand.
"when you wake up," jaejoong whispers, and yunho has no idea how he can still hear him because the music and the voice is so loud now it feels like it could shatter eardrums, "nothing will change. your voice is gone forever."
"what?" he chokes, trying to push jaejoong away to see his face but he keeps his arms tight around yunho's neck and he can only struggle.
"these songs, you can't ever forget them. memorise them."
"i can't, i can't even hear you."
"that voice, that deafening loud and annoying voice that is killing you but i promise you it will stop, i promise, is mine."
"what are you saying? i thought you couldn't hear the music."
jaejoong is panting against his ear now, each seemingly weaker than the next. "i." he presses his lips against yunho's ear, yunho's eyes, yunho's cheeks, yunho's neck, yunho's mouth.
"i love you."
yunho shudders
and finds himself back at the bed in the white room with the white walls and white floors and white sheets. jaejoong is nowhere, and his eyes are spinning but he can still see the wires leading from the ticking and beeping machines into his body, the baskets of flowers and fruits and cards that bleed 'i'm so sorry' from their fold, and, what's driving him insane is,
the complete and total silence that swallows the room whole.