"The Art of Loving"
A book that I read, with fresh and insightful ideas regarding the issue of Love. Some thought-provoking parts of it, plus my comments:
On giving:
"Giving is the highest expression of potency. In the very act of giving, I experience my strength, my wealth, my power. This experience of heightened vitality and potency fills me with joy. I experience myself as overflowing, spending, alive, hence as joyous. Giving is more joyous than receiving, not because it is a deprivation, but because in the act of giving lies the expression of my aliveness."
Shared the sentiments before? it's true. When you give you experience double happiness, the happiness of giving someone else happiness, and the happiness that someone else feels on receiving, echoed back to you.
On Modern Man:
"Modern man has transformed himself into a commodity; he experiences his life energy as an investment with which he should make the highest profit, considering his position and the situation on the personality market. He is alienated from himself, from his fellow men and from nature. His main aim is profitable exchange of his skills, knowledge, and of himself, his 'personality package' with others who are equally intent on a fair and profitable exchange. Life has no oal except the one to move, no principle except the one of fair exchange, no satisfaction except the one to consume."
If modern man is an 'automaton' as described above, then he cannot love; two automatons cannot love each other. they can merely exchange their 'personality packages' as mentioned, but their souls can never unite if they do not escape from the Capitalist notions of the individual not as a human soul, but a functioning part of the economy and society (much like how the worker ant is just a part of the large colony of ants -- a machine or tool).
On Faith:
"We have faith in the potentialities of others, of ourselves, and of mankind because, and only to the degree which, we have experienced the growth of our own potentialities, the reality of growth in ourselves, the strength of our own power of reason and of love."
To put it in another way, if we fail to see our own strengths, how can we hope to see the strengths in others? If we do not trust our own integrity, similarly we will never trust in the integrity of others. To extend further, we project ourselves onto others; if we are ourselves calculating or power-hungry, we will perceive all actions / moves by other people as being meanly calculated or aimed at getting power, even if (in many cases) they are not.
"To stick to one's judgement about a person even if public opinion or some unforeseen facts seem to invalidate it, to stick to one's convictions even though they are unpopular -- all this requires faith and courage. To take the difficulties, setbacks and sorrows of life as a challenge which to overcome makes us stronger, rather than as unjust punishment which should not happen to us, requires faith and courage."
Regarding opinion about a person, i am of the belief that once you make a judgement on a person, you will suit future actions of the person to your impression of the person. ie if you think a person is selfish, no matter how that person might change or how future actions might not be of a selfish nature, you will perceive the actions as so.
On Power:
"To believe in power that exists is identical with disbelief in the growth of potentialities which are as yet unrealised. It is a prediction of the future based solely on the manifest present; but it turns out to be a grave miscalculation, profoundly irrational in its oversight of the human potentialities and human growth. There is no rational faith in power. There is submission to it or, on the part of those who have it, the wish to keep it. While to many power seems to be the most real of all things, the history of man has proved it to be the most unstable of all human achievements. Because of the fact that faith and power are mutually exclusive, all religions and political systems which originally are built on rational faith become corrupt and eventually lose what strength they have, if they rely on power or ally themselves with it."
That is true. say, for instance, if you do not believe in that other people will contribute in the way they know best in working for your common goals, you will tend to force (or, to put it in a more civilised way, "direct") them to do tasks in the way you think would best work; and here's where power comes into play.
Some people say the world and society is about power play. Yet I believe people who get very caught up in the constant grabbing for power and more power over others, are people who are, consciously or unconscioulsy insecure. They are not confident or secure in themselves as they are, as individuals, so they seek to obtain more power over others as a way to compensate for their insecurity. I.e: internal insecurity manifests itself as external power over others. Note too, that one may have a confident personality or confidence in specific strengths (a negative example being, getting away with what one wants), but that does not in any way, equate with internal security of the person.
On Love:
"To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love."
Whoever is of little trust is also of little love.
The thesis of the book? Love is the only rational answer or solution to the problem of human existence. The problem of human separateness, the moment we leave the mother's womb, before we return to join back with nature.
On giving:
"Giving is the highest expression of potency. In the very act of giving, I experience my strength, my wealth, my power. This experience of heightened vitality and potency fills me with joy. I experience myself as overflowing, spending, alive, hence as joyous. Giving is more joyous than receiving, not because it is a deprivation, but because in the act of giving lies the expression of my aliveness."
Shared the sentiments before? it's true. When you give you experience double happiness, the happiness of giving someone else happiness, and the happiness that someone else feels on receiving, echoed back to you.
On Modern Man:
"Modern man has transformed himself into a commodity; he experiences his life energy as an investment with which he should make the highest profit, considering his position and the situation on the personality market. He is alienated from himself, from his fellow men and from nature. His main aim is profitable exchange of his skills, knowledge, and of himself, his 'personality package' with others who are equally intent on a fair and profitable exchange. Life has no oal except the one to move, no principle except the one of fair exchange, no satisfaction except the one to consume."
If modern man is an 'automaton' as described above, then he cannot love; two automatons cannot love each other. they can merely exchange their 'personality packages' as mentioned, but their souls can never unite if they do not escape from the Capitalist notions of the individual not as a human soul, but a functioning part of the economy and society (much like how the worker ant is just a part of the large colony of ants -- a machine or tool).
On Faith:
"We have faith in the potentialities of others, of ourselves, and of mankind because, and only to the degree which, we have experienced the growth of our own potentialities, the reality of growth in ourselves, the strength of our own power of reason and of love."
To put it in another way, if we fail to see our own strengths, how can we hope to see the strengths in others? If we do not trust our own integrity, similarly we will never trust in the integrity of others. To extend further, we project ourselves onto others; if we are ourselves calculating or power-hungry, we will perceive all actions / moves by other people as being meanly calculated or aimed at getting power, even if (in many cases) they are not.
"To stick to one's judgement about a person even if public opinion or some unforeseen facts seem to invalidate it, to stick to one's convictions even though they are unpopular -- all this requires faith and courage. To take the difficulties, setbacks and sorrows of life as a challenge which to overcome makes us stronger, rather than as unjust punishment which should not happen to us, requires faith and courage."
Regarding opinion about a person, i am of the belief that once you make a judgement on a person, you will suit future actions of the person to your impression of the person. ie if you think a person is selfish, no matter how that person might change or how future actions might not be of a selfish nature, you will perceive the actions as so.
On Power:
"To believe in power that exists is identical with disbelief in the growth of potentialities which are as yet unrealised. It is a prediction of the future based solely on the manifest present; but it turns out to be a grave miscalculation, profoundly irrational in its oversight of the human potentialities and human growth. There is no rational faith in power. There is submission to it or, on the part of those who have it, the wish to keep it. While to many power seems to be the most real of all things, the history of man has proved it to be the most unstable of all human achievements. Because of the fact that faith and power are mutually exclusive, all religions and political systems which originally are built on rational faith become corrupt and eventually lose what strength they have, if they rely on power or ally themselves with it."
That is true. say, for instance, if you do not believe in that other people will contribute in the way they know best in working for your common goals, you will tend to force (or, to put it in a more civilised way, "direct") them to do tasks in the way you think would best work; and here's where power comes into play.
Some people say the world and society is about power play. Yet I believe people who get very caught up in the constant grabbing for power and more power over others, are people who are, consciously or unconscioulsy insecure. They are not confident or secure in themselves as they are, as individuals, so they seek to obtain more power over others as a way to compensate for their insecurity. I.e: internal insecurity manifests itself as external power over others. Note too, that one may have a confident personality or confidence in specific strengths (a negative example being, getting away with what one wants), but that does not in any way, equate with internal security of the person.
On Love:
"To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love."
Whoever is of little trust is also of little love.
The thesis of the book? Love is the only rational answer or solution to the problem of human existence. The problem of human separateness, the moment we leave the mother's womb, before we return to join back with nature.