Smutmas fic, revealed

[florahart]

Title: Open Your Mind
Author: Flora
Recipient's name: azhure1
Rating: NC17
Pairing(s): Snape/Charlie
Disclaimer: Potterverse isn't mine. Alas.
Author's notes: Written for merry_smutmas 2005. Thanks to Marks and Anj for pruning my commas, among other things.

...had to split it into two posts, as it's a bit under 15,000 words.

Comments

[mark356]

What a fabulously well-crafted story so far! I love the amount you've thought about this particular setting; it really comes through. I especially love Charlie teaching Harry Occlumency and Legilimancy!

[florahart]

Thanks. :)

[helvirago]

This is really fantastic -- you rock so hard at this stuff, particularly at writing in-character but sympathetic Snape.

One question, about an early sentence: "The only other likely place I could go, there are an angry werewolf, a boy who thinks long before he acts, and your mother." Should that be "a boy who acts long before he thinks" or am I not reading it right?

[florahart]

Heh. Yes. That's an artefact of me swapping between acting before thinking and thinking after acting. Fixed. Thanks.

Also, thanks for commenting in general.

[caedesdeo]

Dude, the purple heron rocks.

And your Charlie is fantabulously written.

[florahart]

Thanks. Molly isn't much for subtlety. :D

[caedesdeo]

Oh, it could have been worse. She could have attempted something along the lines of a small troupe of trained attackmail-frogs.

[geoviki]

I've been madly catching up on the last 10 days of smutmas fics. How I loved this. The characterization of Charlie was absolutely terrific - I loved how direct he was about everything. I also thought you were clever with how you described the Legilimancy, which is probably indescribable. You made it seem so matter-of-fact and not bogged down in new agey wordiness. I liked how whiny Draco was. And how you handled how Snape's longing was revealed was carefully done - not too much useless talk about it, just "I saw what you were thinking, so how about it?" A great story, but then, I'm not surprised coming from you.

[florahart]

Yes, I was trying, with the legilimency, for enough description not to be completely vague, but not so much as to mess up the fact that certainly this would be taught by showing, not telling.

My Charlie is a direct sort of boy, and roundabout chatting just isn't his thing. Glad to entertain.

[titti]

I really liked this, and how you showed that magic can be different for different people. The interaction between Charlie and Snape was priceless, and so was Draco's whining.

Do you mind if I archive this at the Snape/Weasley Archive?

[florahart]

Thanks. Nope, don't mind. You need a .doc of the whole thing or anything? Or will you just point here?

[titti]

I usually take this version unless you have a subsequent version that you'd like me to have.