(no subject)
The holidays are coming. I don't really look forward to them much these days. I did announce that this year we're staying home for Thanksgiving and there was no argument there. :) Spent the last two (I think) with my family. Two weeks at my mother's house over the summer was more than enough time spent there for the year, thank you very much. The in-laws are going to my partner's aunt's house and since I transitioned she refuses to speak to me unless I ask her a direct question, otherwise she pretends I'm not there. Add to that that side of the family is very conservative republicans, and well, yeah, it makes for an unpleasant time. So we're staying home and having friends over and it will be a nice time.
Then there are the winter holidays. (We celebrate Hanukkah, Solstice, and Christmas. Go us?) I kind of dread Christmas, in a way. I hope that this year my dad doesn't send me another 'for my daughter' card. I'm hoping he won't after last year. He sent me one, and while he might have meant well, it really hurt. I got the card on Christmas day when we ran into the city to tend to the cats and picked up the mail that was delivered Christmas eve. After I got the card, I didn't call him that day, I just couldn't, not with also trying to deal with my partner's family. He was upset by that. I wrote him a letter explaining why I hadn't called him and apologizing. I'd rather not get a card from him.
And then there are the in-laws. Oof. My mother-in-law *still* refuses to use the correct pronouns. I see her fairly regularly, it's not that 'she forgets' or some bullshit like that, she does it deliberately, because she's kind of a bitch and doesn't like me. Up until I transitioned they were always very generous at Christmas, but that changed. The first year, I got a $50 Starbucks gift card and a Kindle Fire. Very nice, right? Well, yes and no. I like the Kindle, and I like coffee. What was hard was sitting there with my one present while everyone around me had this big pile of presents. My brother-in-law and his wife, my partner, our daughter, my partner's aunt. Pictures were taken, but I wasn't in any of them. My daughter noticed I only had one present and was kind of sad and confused by that but then she got distracted and forgot about it. The Kindle wasn't even something I'd asked for really, I'd just mentioned in passing that I kind of missed mine. (That was the year our place was burglarized and my Kindle got stolen along with our laptops and stuff. I hadn't replaced it yet because money was tight.) My partner's aunt hasn't bought me a gift since transition, which I really don't mind, as she always gave me weird gifts anyway. I'm grateful for the gifts I've gotten the last couple of years, like my purple stand mixer last year, and the 3DS the year before that that I had to return because my partner got me one too, and I'd already opened that one. What bothers me most is that I'm treated differently. The in-laws ignore my birthday, I haven't gotten so much as a card the last three years. They ignore our wedding anniversary. They ignore me on Father's day. It's just ... yeah. I try not to let it get to me, but it does, you know? I'm going to put the printer I want for my studio on my wishlist, maybe they'll get it for me. Who knows.
I should go get dressed and head to work. It's cold outside. I don't like the cold. I should dress warm, the archives closet gets pretty chilly.
Then there are the winter holidays. (We celebrate Hanukkah, Solstice, and Christmas. Go us?) I kind of dread Christmas, in a way. I hope that this year my dad doesn't send me another 'for my daughter' card. I'm hoping he won't after last year. He sent me one, and while he might have meant well, it really hurt. I got the card on Christmas day when we ran into the city to tend to the cats and picked up the mail that was delivered Christmas eve. After I got the card, I didn't call him that day, I just couldn't, not with also trying to deal with my partner's family. He was upset by that. I wrote him a letter explaining why I hadn't called him and apologizing. I'd rather not get a card from him.
And then there are the in-laws. Oof. My mother-in-law *still* refuses to use the correct pronouns. I see her fairly regularly, it's not that 'she forgets' or some bullshit like that, she does it deliberately, because she's kind of a bitch and doesn't like me. Up until I transitioned they were always very generous at Christmas, but that changed. The first year, I got a $50 Starbucks gift card and a Kindle Fire. Very nice, right? Well, yes and no. I like the Kindle, and I like coffee. What was hard was sitting there with my one present while everyone around me had this big pile of presents. My brother-in-law and his wife, my partner, our daughter, my partner's aunt. Pictures were taken, but I wasn't in any of them. My daughter noticed I only had one present and was kind of sad and confused by that but then she got distracted and forgot about it. The Kindle wasn't even something I'd asked for really, I'd just mentioned in passing that I kind of missed mine. (That was the year our place was burglarized and my Kindle got stolen along with our laptops and stuff. I hadn't replaced it yet because money was tight.) My partner's aunt hasn't bought me a gift since transition, which I really don't mind, as she always gave me weird gifts anyway. I'm grateful for the gifts I've gotten the last couple of years, like my purple stand mixer last year, and the 3DS the year before that that I had to return because my partner got me one too, and I'd already opened that one. What bothers me most is that I'm treated differently. The in-laws ignore my birthday, I haven't gotten so much as a card the last three years. They ignore our wedding anniversary. They ignore me on Father's day. It's just ... yeah. I try not to let it get to me, but it does, you know? I'm going to put the printer I want for my studio on my wishlist, maybe they'll get it for me. Who knows.
I should go get dressed and head to work. It's cold outside. I don't like the cold. I should dress warm, the archives closet gets pretty chilly.