All is as it should be
Well it seems it's been a while.
Summer has not been all that fun. In fact, I secretly hate summer. The bustling sidewalks of downtown clubs and parties, people getting together, houses full of activity, cars wafting by with partners arms stretched over the others shoulder, couples dining or enjoying a movie or walking on the beach in their bathing suits or cozy night inside together, people partying, hooking up, enjoying themselves, all seems like a world I can't be a part of. I hate summer.
To be very honest, i'm not a big fan of people in general. It's hard to explain and grasp, but being human is being two-faced, selfish, hateful, afraid, prejudiced, and jealous. I don't even know if there's anyone "good" out there anymore. Good-natured and nice people, wanting to be truly loved and cared for are a thing of the past, come and gone in old black and white movies from the 40's and 50's. Out with the old and in with the new, they say. It seems that the new is the beginning of the end of humanity to me. True love, chivalry, the sacredness of marriage and bearing children, where has it gone but washed away with the sands of time? Only to be replaced by instant gratification of only the perfect bodies and the selfish thoughts of self-centered peoples. All others are useless and should be discarded. The shy, hopeful, compassionate, and dare I say, less-attractive individuals are the ones who suffer most. Instead it is the inconsiderate, the cocky, the egotistical, the perfect bodied, the shallow and the arrogant who miraculously receive the spoils. Something is not right here.
Too many nights have I spent wading away, lonely longing the warmth of another in solitude, scraping against the walls of my insides for another ounce of strength to hope for another day, only to be shamed again to find what I once imagined true love and life to exist be merely a fantasy gone extinct many years ago.
As for now, I am alone... and all is as it should be.
Summer has not been all that fun. In fact, I secretly hate summer. The bustling sidewalks of downtown clubs and parties, people getting together, houses full of activity, cars wafting by with partners arms stretched over the others shoulder, couples dining or enjoying a movie or walking on the beach in their bathing suits or cozy night inside together, people partying, hooking up, enjoying themselves, all seems like a world I can't be a part of. I hate summer.
To be very honest, i'm not a big fan of people in general. It's hard to explain and grasp, but being human is being two-faced, selfish, hateful, afraid, prejudiced, and jealous. I don't even know if there's anyone "good" out there anymore. Good-natured and nice people, wanting to be truly loved and cared for are a thing of the past, come and gone in old black and white movies from the 40's and 50's. Out with the old and in with the new, they say. It seems that the new is the beginning of the end of humanity to me. True love, chivalry, the sacredness of marriage and bearing children, where has it gone but washed away with the sands of time? Only to be replaced by instant gratification of only the perfect bodies and the selfish thoughts of self-centered peoples. All others are useless and should be discarded. The shy, hopeful, compassionate, and dare I say, less-attractive individuals are the ones who suffer most. Instead it is the inconsiderate, the cocky, the egotistical, the perfect bodied, the shallow and the arrogant who miraculously receive the spoils. Something is not right here.
Too many nights have I spent wading away, lonely longing the warmth of another in solitude, scraping against the walls of my insides for another ounce of strength to hope for another day, only to be shamed again to find what I once imagined true love and life to exist be merely a fantasy gone extinct many years ago.
As for now, I am alone... and all is as it should be.