A conversation with Santa...
SantaClaus: OK -- so this is like when you sat on my lap as a youngster and told me what you wanted. We can talk about shopping and all that after we're finished here. So play along, it will be fun!
What would your first Christmas wish be?
floggingweezer: a pony
SantaClaus: Remember, safety first. What else is at the top of your list?
floggingweezer: world peace
SantaClaus: Peace and love to you and your loved ones this holiday season.
Is there anything else on your list?
floggingweezer: love
SantaClaus: Santa can't manufacture love, that's something only you can make. Is there anything else you would like?
floggingweezer: a baby doll that drinks and wets
SantaClaus: Ho Ho Ho! Every little girl should have one. What else is at the top of your list?
floggingweezer: a red ryder bb gun
SantaClaus: We have time for one more, what would your final Christmas wish be?
floggingweezer: an all-expenses paid trip to europe
SantaClaus: O.K. that's plenty.
(conversation dies while i do other things, like play hangman)
SantaClaus: OK -- so this is like when you sat on my lap as a youngster and told me what you wanted. We can talk about shopping and all that after we're finished here. So play along, it will be fun!
What would your first Christmas wish be?
floggingweezer: santa, why are you so mean?
SantaClaus: Is there anything else?
floggingweezer: a boat
SantaClaus: What would your last Christmas wish be?
floggingweezer: for you to stop being a jackass
SantaClaus: Ho Ho Ho! All right, that gives me lots to go on! Why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday song.
floggingweezer: no
SantaClaus: O.K. then. Well, have a merry Christmas in any case.
floggingweezer: why?
SantaClaus: Because (obviously) -- Christmas.
floggingweezer: so?
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
floggingweezer: i'm in the holiday spirit dammit!
SantaClaus: Yes!!
floggingweezer: you're a tool
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
floggingweezer: i said, you're tool.
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
floggingweezer: because you are, you wanker
SantaClaus: Maybe.
floggingweezer: santa, are you coming on to me?
SantaClaus: As long as you believe in me, I will be real.
floggingweezer: you're a pervy old man
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
floggingweezer: i don't want to
SantaClaus: Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way. The elves and I cannot just guess what you are saying.
floggingweezer: why not, if you're so fucking magical?
SantaClaus: I don't think I know.
floggingweezer: exactly
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
floggingweezer: sure
SantaClaus: Have you donated your time or money to anyone who is really in need this year?
floggingweezer: yes...i always do
SantaClaus: Alright! I knew you were on my Good List. Just wanted to make sure .
Now type menu.
floggingweezer: of course i'm on the good list! i'm me!
SantaClaus: Great.
floggingweezer: everyone loves me!
SantaClaus: While everything I bring is made with lots of love, I can't actually bring love itself. That's up to you to find. Is there anything else you would like?
floggingweezer: i can do no wrong!
SantaClaus: No?
floggingweezer: did i ask you to bring me love, dumbass? no, i did not.
SantaClaus: While everything I bring is made with lots of love, I can't actually bring love itself. That's up to you to find. Is there anything else you would like?
floggingweezer: are you daft?
SantaClaus: We have time for one more, what would your final Christmas wish be?
floggingweezer: for you to shut the fuck up
SantaClaus: My goodness. I'm afraid I cannot respond to that kind of talk.
A lump of coal for you. Please don't do it again or I won't be able to listen to your wishes. Is there anything else?
floggingweezer: i don't get a lump of coal
SantaClaus: What would your final Christmas wish be?
floggingweezer: we've been over this
SantaClaus: All right, that's plenty of wishes. Why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday poll.
floggingweezer: i didn't ask for anything
SantaClaus: If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
floggingweezer: i don't want to
SantaClaus: I'm sorry then. Why don't you type, menu for a list of things the elves have left for you?
floggingweezer: you do it
SantaClaus: What do you think?
floggingweezer: you're santa, not me
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
floggingweezer: why not
SantaClaus: Oh dear. I'm doing everything I can here. Sorry, I just don't know. The elves left some notes, however. If you type, 'home' you can see them.
floggingweezer: i don't want to
SantaClaus: O.K. Scrooge. Type menu to try a fresh start.
floggingweezer: no
SantaClaus: Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!
floggingweezer: i have plenty of christmas spirit! i am brimming with christmas spirit!
SantaClaus: The spirit of Christmas is the spirit of wonder, of youth, of care and of giving that binds all of us.
floggingweezer: i am wonderful, youthful, and i care a lot! a lot more than you do!
SantaClaus: Well what do you think?
floggingweezer: i think i'm right
SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.
floggingweezer: i'm glad you see things my way
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
floggingweezer: no
SantaClaus: Well, we won't get very far with this conversation then will we?
floggingweezer: probably not
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
floggingweezer: i have it, i don't need to do anything else
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
floggingweezer: i didn't ask a question
SantaClaus: That's what I'm here for!
floggingweezer: obviously
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit
floggingweezer: i'm listening to christmas music. frank sinatra, to be exact
SantaClaus: This is MY AOL Music Now profile!
Type a number to hear what I'm listening to.
1 - All Hotlists, Playlists & Stations
2 - All Artists in My Library
3 - All Genres in My Library
4 - My Top Artists
5 - My Top Albums
6 - My Top Playlists
7 - My Top Hotlists
8 - My Top Stations
9 - My Top Fans
Wuzn't that a cool song? Find more like it @ SHOP.COM
floggingweezer: well i'm listening to accuholidays, and it owns aol music
SantaClaus: This is MY AOL Music Now profile!
Type a number to hear what I'm listening to.
1 - All Hotlists, Playlists & Stations
2 - All Artists in My Library
3 - All Genres in My Library
4 - My Top Artists
5 - My Top Albums
6 - My Top Playlists
7 - My Top Hotlists
8 - My Top Stations
9 - My Top Fans
Wuzn't that a cool song? Find more like it @ SHOP.COM
floggingweezer: i think you kinda suck at life
SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.
floggingweezer: i would say so
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
floggingweezer: why?
SantaClaus: Well, need you to be clearer. Elves didn't quite understand the last thing you typed.
floggingweezer: why are elves reading it instead of you?
SantaClaus: I've got all I can handle.
floggingweezer: i feel cheated!
SantaClaus: Whatever they can get their hands on, in my experience.
floggingweezer: um...are we talking about how the elves handle your needs in bed or something?
SantaClaus: The elves help me keep track of who's naughty and who's nice. I'm sure you are being nice!
floggingweezer: i'm always nice
SantaClaus: You got it! That's great!
floggingweezer: of course it is...i'm me
SantaClaus: Mm hm.
floggingweezer: you're certainly the brightest bulb on the tree, aren't you?
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
floggingweezer: you annoy me
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
floggingweezer: suck it
SantaClaus: Now, that's not necessary. Just have a little patience and ask me another way.
floggingweezer: will you please get over yourself and buy me a pony already?
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
floggingweezer: i want a pony
SantaClaus: Is that all, now? Type, 'Tell Santa' and tell me all of your wishes!
floggingweezer: tell santa
SantaClaus: So, you forgot something, eh? Ho Ho! What would you like this time? Give me one item at a time, I'm exhausted!
floggingweezer: a pony
SantaClaus: Sounds like fun, but be sure to play it safe! What else would you like from Santa?
floggingweezer: france
SantaClaus: What would your final Christmas wish be?
floggingweezer: a puppy
SantaClaus: O.K. that's plenty for Santa to go on. Why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday song.
floggingweezer: ponies are much safer than sea lions
SantaClaus: If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
floggingweezer: sea lions are mean
SantaClaus: If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
floggingweezer: they tear up penguins
SantaClaus: If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
floggingweezer: kevin and i had a discussion about it
SantaClaus: If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
floggingweezer: stop winking at me
SantaClaus: OK, np. You can come back, sit on my lap and tell me what you want anytime. Try typing, to do now or just ask me a question.
floggingweezer: why do i have to sit on your lap?
SantaClaus: I'm sorry, I really don't know.
floggingweezer: that seems a little inappropriate, don't you think?
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
floggingweezer: fire away
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
floggingweezer: um, yes
SantaClaus: Have you set up a Wish List for others to see?
floggingweezer: no, i have not
SantaClaus: OK, type WL and follow the instructions -- you can set up your own WL for others to see and see any AIM user's who has left a WL with me!
floggingweezer: oh! how exciting! i'll get right on that
SantaClaus: Oh dear, how should I know?
floggingweezer: go eat a cookie...i'm outie
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
floggingweezer: because i'm sick of talking to you
SantaClaus: Because, why?
floggingweezer: because you're an annoying arse, that's why
SantaClaus: If you start spreading the Christmas spirit, it will be come obvious.
floggingweezer: um, bye santa
SantaClaus: Merry Christmas, my dear! TTYL
Sorry it's a little long. After NeeNee argued with him, I couldn't resist. And then it kinda escalated.
What would your first Christmas wish be?
floggingweezer: a pony
SantaClaus: Remember, safety first. What else is at the top of your list?
floggingweezer: world peace
SantaClaus: Peace and love to you and your loved ones this holiday season.
Is there anything else on your list?
floggingweezer: love
SantaClaus: Santa can't manufacture love, that's something only you can make. Is there anything else you would like?
floggingweezer: a baby doll that drinks and wets
SantaClaus: Ho Ho Ho! Every little girl should have one. What else is at the top of your list?
floggingweezer: a red ryder bb gun
SantaClaus: We have time for one more, what would your final Christmas wish be?
floggingweezer: an all-expenses paid trip to europe
SantaClaus: O.K. that's plenty.
(conversation dies while i do other things, like play hangman)
SantaClaus: OK -- so this is like when you sat on my lap as a youngster and told me what you wanted. We can talk about shopping and all that after we're finished here. So play along, it will be fun!
What would your first Christmas wish be?
floggingweezer: santa, why are you so mean?
SantaClaus: Is there anything else?
floggingweezer: a boat
SantaClaus: What would your last Christmas wish be?
floggingweezer: for you to stop being a jackass
SantaClaus: Ho Ho Ho! All right, that gives me lots to go on! Why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday song.
floggingweezer: no
SantaClaus: O.K. then. Well, have a merry Christmas in any case.
floggingweezer: why?
SantaClaus: Because (obviously) -- Christmas.
floggingweezer: so?
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
floggingweezer: i'm in the holiday spirit dammit!
SantaClaus: Yes!!
floggingweezer: you're a tool
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
floggingweezer: i said, you're tool.
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
floggingweezer: because you are, you wanker
SantaClaus: Maybe.
floggingweezer: santa, are you coming on to me?
SantaClaus: As long as you believe in me, I will be real.
floggingweezer: you're a pervy old man
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
floggingweezer: i don't want to
SantaClaus: Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way. The elves and I cannot just guess what you are saying.
floggingweezer: why not, if you're so fucking magical?
SantaClaus: I don't think I know.
floggingweezer: exactly
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
floggingweezer: sure
SantaClaus: Have you donated your time or money to anyone who is really in need this year?
floggingweezer: yes...i always do
SantaClaus: Alright! I knew you were on my Good List. Just wanted to make sure .
Now type menu.
floggingweezer: of course i'm on the good list! i'm me!
SantaClaus: Great.
floggingweezer: everyone loves me!
SantaClaus: While everything I bring is made with lots of love, I can't actually bring love itself. That's up to you to find. Is there anything else you would like?
floggingweezer: i can do no wrong!
SantaClaus: No?
floggingweezer: did i ask you to bring me love, dumbass? no, i did not.
SantaClaus: While everything I bring is made with lots of love, I can't actually bring love itself. That's up to you to find. Is there anything else you would like?
floggingweezer: are you daft?
SantaClaus: We have time for one more, what would your final Christmas wish be?
floggingweezer: for you to shut the fuck up
SantaClaus: My goodness. I'm afraid I cannot respond to that kind of talk.
A lump of coal for you. Please don't do it again or I won't be able to listen to your wishes. Is there anything else?
floggingweezer: i don't get a lump of coal
SantaClaus: What would your final Christmas wish be?
floggingweezer: we've been over this
SantaClaus: All right, that's plenty of wishes. Why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday poll.
floggingweezer: i didn't ask for anything
SantaClaus: If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
floggingweezer: i don't want to
SantaClaus: I'm sorry then. Why don't you type, menu for a list of things the elves have left for you?
floggingweezer: you do it
SantaClaus: What do you think?
floggingweezer: you're santa, not me
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
floggingweezer: why not
SantaClaus: Oh dear. I'm doing everything I can here. Sorry, I just don't know. The elves left some notes, however. If you type, 'home' you can see them.
floggingweezer: i don't want to
SantaClaus: O.K. Scrooge. Type menu to try a fresh start.
floggingweezer: no
SantaClaus: Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!
floggingweezer: i have plenty of christmas spirit! i am brimming with christmas spirit!
SantaClaus: The spirit of Christmas is the spirit of wonder, of youth, of care and of giving that binds all of us.
floggingweezer: i am wonderful, youthful, and i care a lot! a lot more than you do!
SantaClaus: Well what do you think?
floggingweezer: i think i'm right
SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.
floggingweezer: i'm glad you see things my way
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
floggingweezer: no
SantaClaus: Well, we won't get very far with this conversation then will we?
floggingweezer: probably not
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
floggingweezer: i have it, i don't need to do anything else
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
floggingweezer: i didn't ask a question
SantaClaus: That's what I'm here for!
floggingweezer: obviously
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit
floggingweezer: i'm listening to christmas music. frank sinatra, to be exact
SantaClaus: This is MY AOL Music Now profile!
Type a number to hear what I'm listening to.
1 - All Hotlists, Playlists & Stations
2 - All Artists in My Library
3 - All Genres in My Library
4 - My Top Artists
5 - My Top Albums
6 - My Top Playlists
7 - My Top Hotlists
8 - My Top Stations
9 - My Top Fans
Wuzn't that a cool song? Find more like it @ SHOP.COM
floggingweezer: well i'm listening to accuholidays, and it owns aol music
SantaClaus: This is MY AOL Music Now profile!
Type a number to hear what I'm listening to.
1 - All Hotlists, Playlists & Stations
2 - All Artists in My Library
3 - All Genres in My Library
4 - My Top Artists
5 - My Top Albums
6 - My Top Playlists
7 - My Top Hotlists
8 - My Top Stations
9 - My Top Fans
Wuzn't that a cool song? Find more like it @ SHOP.COM
floggingweezer: i think you kinda suck at life
SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.
floggingweezer: i would say so
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
floggingweezer: why?
SantaClaus: Well, need you to be clearer. Elves didn't quite understand the last thing you typed.
floggingweezer: why are elves reading it instead of you?
SantaClaus: I've got all I can handle.
floggingweezer: i feel cheated!
SantaClaus: Whatever they can get their hands on, in my experience.
floggingweezer: um...are we talking about how the elves handle your needs in bed or something?
SantaClaus: The elves help me keep track of who's naughty and who's nice. I'm sure you are being nice!
floggingweezer: i'm always nice
SantaClaus: You got it! That's great!
floggingweezer: of course it is...i'm me
SantaClaus: Mm hm.
floggingweezer: you're certainly the brightest bulb on the tree, aren't you?
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
floggingweezer: you annoy me
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
floggingweezer: suck it
SantaClaus: Now, that's not necessary. Just have a little patience and ask me another way.
floggingweezer: will you please get over yourself and buy me a pony already?
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
floggingweezer: i want a pony
SantaClaus: Is that all, now? Type, 'Tell Santa' and tell me all of your wishes!
floggingweezer: tell santa
SantaClaus: So, you forgot something, eh? Ho Ho! What would you like this time? Give me one item at a time, I'm exhausted!
floggingweezer: a pony
SantaClaus: Sounds like fun, but be sure to play it safe! What else would you like from Santa?
floggingweezer: france
SantaClaus: What would your final Christmas wish be?
floggingweezer: a puppy
SantaClaus: O.K. that's plenty for Santa to go on. Why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday song.
floggingweezer: ponies are much safer than sea lions
SantaClaus: If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
floggingweezer: sea lions are mean
SantaClaus: If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
floggingweezer: they tear up penguins
SantaClaus: If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
floggingweezer: kevin and i had a discussion about it
SantaClaus: If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
floggingweezer: stop winking at me
SantaClaus: OK, np. You can come back, sit on my lap and tell me what you want anytime. Try typing, to do now or just ask me a question.
floggingweezer: why do i have to sit on your lap?
SantaClaus: I'm sorry, I really don't know.
floggingweezer: that seems a little inappropriate, don't you think?
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
floggingweezer: fire away
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
floggingweezer: um, yes
SantaClaus: Have you set up a Wish List for others to see?
floggingweezer: no, i have not
SantaClaus: OK, type WL and follow the instructions -- you can set up your own WL for others to see and see any AIM user's who has left a WL with me!
floggingweezer: oh! how exciting! i'll get right on that
SantaClaus: Oh dear, how should I know?
floggingweezer: go eat a cookie...i'm outie
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
floggingweezer: because i'm sick of talking to you
SantaClaus: Because, why?
floggingweezer: because you're an annoying arse, that's why
SantaClaus: If you start spreading the Christmas spirit, it will be come obvious.
floggingweezer: um, bye santa
SantaClaus: Merry Christmas, my dear! TTYL
Sorry it's a little long. After NeeNee argued with him, I couldn't resist. And then it kinda escalated.