My Lashes Are Dry, But...
This is my second (technically, third, but that's another story....) semester of Life Sculpture, and this is the first piece I've ever managed to work to this level. My professor taught me to check my ego a long, long time ago, so I can't actually say I'm proud of how it looks, but I am rather proud at how hard I worked at it. Our class is small and compact this semester, and the talent level is unbelievable. For the first time, I've been pushed to work past what I'm capable of doing, and I am happy that I was finally capable of doing something like this. I have a long way to go to achieve what my heart tells me I am capable of achieving.
It's a totally massive piece (wow, sidenote: how annoying are all of my apostrophes? LOL), and it took 15 pounds of clay to make him. Sixteen hours after the start of the assignment, this is what I managed to create. This picture was taken Thursday, 01 Oct 2009. The sculpture was too soft to remove from the support pole today, so I refined his eyelids and added definition to both his chest and back, but I have yet to take a new picture. My teacher pushed me to go a step further, commenting that while it was an incredible figure study, I have to push past pretty and create art: I will marr his back with scars and pierce and embed it with arrows.
This piece will be named Patron Saint.
In addition to drawing, designing, and painting, this is what ten hours of my week consists of. I love what I do, and while my life attempts to tear me away from my art, I am steadfast. If I work harder than I already do, maybe some day I will be worth something. And not in a fame-starved, self-serving kind of way: I just want to believe in my own heart that one day I'll be above the need for validation, and my worth (through craft) will be enough. I push myself so far past what my mind is capable of handling, and it always seems to come back to bite me in the face. I know it all comes down to me abandoning the comparisons I keep making to others, and facing the issues I have with artistic "inferiority." I'll learn; I just need to suck it up and listen with my heart instead of my head.
Hope ya like it. I'm pretty sure this isn't what you guys are used to seeing from me, but I just wanted to share today a little bit of who I really am.
Smooches.