Muppet
I am one.. Crikey
It just occured to me today. At my first counselling 'assessment', and my subsequent first session with the lady I am no longer seeing, I had mentioned that I have been on anti-depressants (Fluox), and was able to manage myself to go back on them when I felt I needed to. Mostly because I have an issue with taking pills forever because it is a hassle. And possibly because getting better is just too much effort? I dunno.
Anyway, it occured to me, when I saw the box of them in my bedside drawer, that I have been feeling this self-hatred for almost 2 weeks now, and it has not once popped into my mind that I should be taking them again. *facepalm* I really am my own worst enemy.
On a positive note - the zoo was awesome today. I dont know if I could do the job all day every day, but I definitely want to work in the industry at least. Just awesome. The self-doubt did come at the end of the day - that I probably wont even get a job in the industry because Im not good enough for any decent jobs at the moment, and I wouldnt hack working as a keeper. But at least Im enjoying it while Im there.
It just occured to me today. At my first counselling 'assessment', and my subsequent first session with the lady I am no longer seeing, I had mentioned that I have been on anti-depressants (Fluox), and was able to manage myself to go back on them when I felt I needed to. Mostly because I have an issue with taking pills forever because it is a hassle. And possibly because getting better is just too much effort? I dunno.
Anyway, it occured to me, when I saw the box of them in my bedside drawer, that I have been feeling this self-hatred for almost 2 weeks now, and it has not once popped into my mind that I should be taking them again. *facepalm* I really am my own worst enemy.
On a positive note - the zoo was awesome today. I dont know if I could do the job all day every day, but I definitely want to work in the industry at least. Just awesome. The self-doubt did come at the end of the day - that I probably wont even get a job in the industry because Im not good enough for any decent jobs at the moment, and I wouldnt hack working as a keeper. But at least Im enjoying it while Im there.