lately
lately i feel confused...
lately i feel angry...
lately i feel lonely...
lately i miss the ones that know me best more than ever...
the summer has proved to be one of the most boring and trying. trying with the patience for my family. at the beginning of summer my patience was being tested with my father and now its my brother. its like they both function on this whole plane of thinking and reasoning. they're one in the same which makes it comical bc they detest eachother. my brother more to my dad but whatever. this whole thing going on makes me agitated bc of my mother who sits on pins and needles adn walks on eggshells to please both of them. whats going to happen when i leave in a month? my poor mother who cant grow a pair of balls and kick my brother out is stuck in dysfunctional mess and i feel so awful for her... but at the same time the things that she has admitted to me recently, although i had it coming, was a bit of a blow to me. i dont know how to feel. bc i am who i am it doesnt bother me or shake me to my core the way it should. its more of a painful realization that its me and me alone doing the things i do. im babbling... i loathe my brother thats the realization that the summer has given to me. there was always the sibling dislike but i fucking hate him and the things he does and the way he acts. it makes me sad and pist at the same time that he disrespects my parents on a constant basis. and it also pisses me off that they put up with it.
in any event work blows, but this semester is going to be a breeze financially. thank god. im so happy that everything worked out, i got the res life job, i got fin aid, etc. im so academically focused, it feels awesome. i cant wait to go back. maybe to avoid things here...
i miss the ones that know me best. as you go threw relationships with different kinds of psychotic ppl you come to appreciate the ones you love. love you biatch!
lately i feel angry...
lately i feel lonely...
lately i miss the ones that know me best more than ever...
the summer has proved to be one of the most boring and trying. trying with the patience for my family. at the beginning of summer my patience was being tested with my father and now its my brother. its like they both function on this whole plane of thinking and reasoning. they're one in the same which makes it comical bc they detest eachother. my brother more to my dad but whatever. this whole thing going on makes me agitated bc of my mother who sits on pins and needles adn walks on eggshells to please both of them. whats going to happen when i leave in a month? my poor mother who cant grow a pair of balls and kick my brother out is stuck in dysfunctional mess and i feel so awful for her... but at the same time the things that she has admitted to me recently, although i had it coming, was a bit of a blow to me. i dont know how to feel. bc i am who i am it doesnt bother me or shake me to my core the way it should. its more of a painful realization that its me and me alone doing the things i do. im babbling... i loathe my brother thats the realization that the summer has given to me. there was always the sibling dislike but i fucking hate him and the things he does and the way he acts. it makes me sad and pist at the same time that he disrespects my parents on a constant basis. and it also pisses me off that they put up with it.
in any event work blows, but this semester is going to be a breeze financially. thank god. im so happy that everything worked out, i got the res life job, i got fin aid, etc. im so academically focused, it feels awesome. i cant wait to go back. maybe to avoid things here...
i miss the ones that know me best. as you go threw relationships with different kinds of psychotic ppl you come to appreciate the ones you love. love you biatch!