Merlin_Redux entry: Six degrees of seperation part 1
I can finally post my story! :) So without further chattering this is my entry for the Merlin_Redux comm!
Summery: Based on prompt number 13 where Merlin walks into the veil instead of Lancelot and Arthur is left behind. Refusing to accept the fact that Merlin is gone Arthur does whatever he can to get him back.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Warning: Violence?
Have fun!
[Six degrees of seperation part 1]
1. Shock and denial
Something was missing.
Arthur couldn't put his finger on what it was exactly, only that, something was missing, it was like a part of him went missing, a part he never knew he had and only now that it was gone he realized he found it.
Blinking his eyes slowly, Arthur opened them and looked around him, the stars twinkled and shined like tiny diamonds in the velvety fabric of the night sky, a fire was going somewhere to his right and though he couldn't see it he felt it's warmth, he took another deep breath and a small smile curled upon his lips, the air smelled different, without the decaying presence of the Dorocha and-
Arthur's mind froze, backtracking carefully through his thoughts he stopped at the last one: The Dorocha. He was obviously alive and yet the Dorocha were gone so that meant-
His eyes skimmed their camp quickly: All his knights were there with Lancelot standing guard and Merlin… Arthur's eyes widened as the name echoed in his mind.
"Where's Merlin?"
He didn't mean for it to sound so… panicky, but right now he didn't really care.
"Where is Merlin?" His tone rose sharply as he struggled to rise from his blanket.
"Merlin?" Arthur's voice echoed in the darkness around them and Arthur stared as none of his knights answered him.
"Where is that idiot?" He demanded; this was getting ridicules.
"Merlin!" Arthur roared and his hand reached for his sword, trying to get up.
"Sire he's…" Lancelot started and trailed off when Arthur's gaze landed on him.
"What? Taking a bath? Talking a midnight stroll? Where is he?"
Lancelot was quiet for a moment before he lifted his eyes to meet Arthur's furious gaze and suddenly Arthur couldn't breathe for there was pain in Lancelot's gaze, so much pain that Arthur's mind refused to think about the reason for that amount of pain.
"No…" Arthur's whisper was swallowed down by Lancelot's answer.
"He is dead sire, he went through the veil." Lancelot said, his shoulders sagging and his hands clenching.
"No." Arthur shook his head, finally rising from his blanket. "No." He said again, his eyes burning. "If this is your idea of a joke sir Lancelot I assure you that you and he will be thrown into the dungeons for the next three weeks! Now where is he?"
Lancelot took a step back and stared at Arthur as the prince's upper lip curled in disdain.
"Sire I swear this isn't a joke! He… Merlin he…" Lancelot's voice fluttered and something in Arthur snapped.
"Merlin!" He screamed. "Where the hell are you?!"
"He is gone Arthur!" Gwaine's voice pierced through Arthur's shocked mind and he whirled around, staring at the knight.
"He is gone," Gwaine said again, this time more quietly. "He went through the veil and…" He trailed off, knowing that nothing more needed to be said.
Arthur swallowed around the lump in his throat and shook his head.
"No," He said again. "No, no, no you… he isn't… he didn't…" In the back of his mind Arthur was aware that he dropped his sword; that he backed away from his knights and towards the lake, he heard Percival's concerned call of 'sire?' and Leon's soft voice telling him to let him be.
And then he was knees deep in the lake water and staring unseeing at the island before him, the cursed island that… no, Arthur shook his head again, no, Merlin wasn't dead, he wasn't…
Arthur heard someone choking and turned around frantically, knowing that it had to be Merlin, the idiot must have fallen into the lake or something, only to find nothing and to realize it was he who was choking, he who was gasping for air, tears streaming down his face as if he just lost his-
Arthur clenched his fingers; this couldn't be happening, Merlin couldn't be dead, they've been through so much together, they've destroyed the great dragon for god's sake! One single veil couldn't beat them, it couldn't separate them, couldn't…
Arthur swallowed again and clutched at his chest, his heart beating was unbearable and Arthur wanted it to stop, he wanted everything to stop! The pounding in his head and the beating of his heart and Merlin's blue eyes that stared at him from the depths of the lake and…
In the back of his mind Arthur heard the splash of the water and felt the coldness spreading through his limbs like the sweetest nectar he has ever tasted, he heard his knights shouts and felt them grab at his body and just before the darkness closed on him once again he saw Merlin and yes, Arthur thought, someone was missing.
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"Would you stop it my child?" Gaius's soft voice stopped Gwen as she moved towards the window again.
"I'm sure we'll hear when they are back." He said and Gwen swallowed around the lump in her throat because no matter who will be back she will lose someone dear, they will all lose someone.
"Do you think-"
"There is no point in doing much of that right now dear." Gaius said and Gwen cursed herself for talking too much, after all, Merlin was with them as well and Gaius was as worried as she was.
She bite her lower lip and tried to stop moving, her right leg started shaking again and she laid her hand on it only to notice that her hand was shaking as well.
"Here," Gaius presented her with a small vial. "Drink this; it's a calming draught-"
A sound from the yard caused Gwen to fly off her seat and the vial smashed on the ground but both Gwen and Gaius couldn't care less, they were already flying down the stairs and into the courtyard where the knights were returning.
Gwen's eyes stared at each and every knight that rode into the courtyard; Leon and Gwaine, Lancelot and Gwen ignored the relived sigh that escaped her lips when she saw him, Elyan and a smile curved her lips, Percival and finally Arthur's horse, her heart stopped, with Arthur's body draped upon it.
"Oh god…" Gwen's hands flew to her mouth as she followed Gaius down the stairs, the old man's speed a surprising thing in his age.
"Arthur…" She breathed and glanced at Lancelot who shook his head and opened his mouth to speak.
"He isn't dead Gwen," Gaius said quickly. "But I need to see this bruise, get him to my chambers quickly."
The knights moved quickly and silently as they carried Arthur's unconscious form to Gaius's chambers.
"How did it happen?" Gaius asked the silent room and Lancelot coughed.
"He, he was knocked over." Was all he said as he exchanged looks with the rest of the knights, Gwen frowned.
"Well, it doesn't seem too serious; did he wake since hitting his head?"
Gwen's eyes narrowed as the knights exchanged looks again.
"Yes," Gwaine answered. "He was his usual self." He assured the physician.
"Good, good, well, he'll just sleep it off." He clapped his hands and smiled at them. "Now-"
He started to say and stopped. "Where is Merlin?" He said, looking beyond the knights at the door.
Gwen frowned; she couldn't remember seeing Merlin when they entered the courtyard and-
Gaius reached the same conclusion.
"No." Gwen's eyes filled with tears at the pain that filled the old man's voice and the realization that came with it.
"Gaius I-" Lancelot started.
"No, no, no, not my boy, not Merlin, please no." Gaius said as he stared at them, his eyes pleading.
"There was nothing I could do." Lancelot said again, staring at Gaius's eyes as if he was trying to say something more.
"Oh god…" Gwen whispered as Gaius crumpled to the seat next to Arthur's bed and covered his face.
Lancelot turned to her, his eyes pained. "I'm sorry," He whispered. "I tried to keep him safe." He said and Gwen wanted to throw up because Arthur was safe but Merlin… Merlin was…
"His body?" She asked instead, because the least they could do was-
"There wouldn't be one," Gaius's voice trembled. "He went through the veil."
The only time Gwen saw Gaius cry was when Merlin was poisoned all that time ago and it was an awful sight, one that she never wanted to see again but now… Gwen's vision blurred by her own tears as she looked away, unable to see Gaius's broken expression.
"He will receive a burial ceremony worthy of a knight," Leon said, his face emotionless but Gwen could see the pain in his eyes. "He saved Camelot after all."
Gaius let out a hollow laughter and lifted empty eyes to look at him.
"Yes indeed, he saved Camelot."
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Arthur woke up to a pounding headache; he blinked his eyes open and closed them again immediately muttering a curse under his breath when the blazing sun scorched his eyeballs.
A muffled laughter sounded from somewhere in the room and then a loud crash and the curtains were drawn shut, plunging the room in blissful darkness.
"Better?" Merlin's amused voice sounded and Arthur opened his eyes fully to look at his manservant.
"Much." Arthur said and smiled at him, lifting his upper body to lean on the headboard.
His smile slipped away when he remembered his dream.
"I had an awful dream Merlin." He started and Merlin lifted one black eyebrow. "Do I really want to hear it?"
"Yes." Arthur said quickly and Merlin sighed and moved closer to the bed.
"Alright, let's have it. What was this awful dream about?"
Arthur opened his mouth and then closed it, unsure how to say it without sounding too… girly.
"You left me," He said and then amended quickly. "I mean, you died."
He expected Merlin to laugh or snort in amusement at him but Merlin didn't do any of these.
Rubbing the back of his neck Merlin sat down next to Arthur and Arthur was going to tell him to get off of his bed any moment now but then he looked into Merlin's eyes and frowned.
"Merlin?"
"It wasn't a dream Arthur." Merlin said quietly and looked away.
"What, what do you mean?" Arthur said, struggling to keep his voice level.
"Of course it was a dream! You are here aren't you?" He finished and reached for Merlin's hand only to gasp as his fingers passed right through it.
"What the hell?" Arthur tried again and again but every single time he did it the result was the same: He couldn't touch Merlin.
"Arthur, Arthur, stop it." Merlin's chocked voice caught his attention and he lifted his eyes to stare at him.
"Merlin what is going on here?" He whispered.
"I'm dead Arthur." Merlin said softly and the tears finally rolled down his cheeks. "I just had to see you again."
"No," Arthur said; shaking his head and rising up, bringing both his hands to cup Merlin's face only to pass straight through. "You can't be dead!" He was aware his voice was rising in levels but he didn't care. "You can't, I didn't allow you to! I never said you could die! I'm not ready for you to die! You said-"
"Arthur please, stop it." Merlin whispered and Arthur wanted desperately to hug him, protocol be damned. "I…"
"You promised. You promised you will be my servant 'till the day you die."
Merlin let out a chocked laughter. "I meant every word I said," His hand lifted to caress Arthur's cheek, the touch a ghost of a wind across his skin. "I didn't mean for that day to get here so soon." He finished and stared at Arthur helplessly.
"I just…"
"I can't let you do this Merlin." Arthur repeated stubbornly. "I can't let you go, I won't let you go."
Merlin closed his eyes for a moment and then rose from the bed.
"I have to go."
"What? No!" Arthur rose as well and moved to grab Merlin's arm, needing to pull the other man closer.
"I have already been here too long, I… I'm so sorry Arthur." And then he walked to the main door and left the room.
Arthur stared for two seconds before he rushed to the door and slammed it open, following Merlin into the hall.
"Merlin!" He screamed and then froze as he noticed they weren't in the hall outside his rooms.
Arthur stared at the clearing around him and turned in a full circle, looking for his manservant.
"I'm not ready do you hear me?!" He yelled into the empty air."I'm not ready to let you go that easily Merlin! I refuse to let you go!"
Arthur's knees gave way and he crashed to the floor.
"Please Merlin… I can't lose you…I just can't… please…"
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2. Pain and Guilt
"Sire."
"Merlin…please no…"
"Sire!"
Gaius's voice tore Arthur away from his nightmare and he opened his eyes, staring at Gaius's sad face.
"You were dreaming again." Gaius said and sat down next to Arthur's bed, lifting a small vial to his lips. "Drink this."
Arthur took the vial and stared at it. "Is it the dreamless potion?"
Gaius nodded.
"Good." He drained it in a single gulp and handed the vial back to Gaius.
He didn't want these dreams; he didn't need the constant reminder that Merlin was gone. He was going to be just fine. His father once told him that it was a servant's duty to sacrifice his life for his master and that is exactly what happened, his manservant did his job, there was no need to get all teary eyed about it.
"When will I be able to get back to my duties Gaius?" Arthur asked, eyeing the court physician and doing his best to ignore the new lines of age that seemed to appear over night on the old man's face.
"The moment you feel up to it sire." Gaius replied quietly, clearing away the food tray that Arthur didn't touch.
"Good." Arthur said and looked away, his eyes landing on the door to Merlin's room and he chocked, that excruciating pain spreading through his body again. He shut his eyes tightly and clenched his fingers, trying to breathe again.
"Sire?"
"I'm fine Gaius," He said briskly and rose in one fluid motion from the bed. "Just a bit dizzy is all."
"A side affect of your head injury," Gaius said slowly. "Maybe you should lie down some more and-"
"There will be no need for that, I'm sure my uncle is quite concerned as it is."
With that he left the room, the door slamming shut in his wake.
Turning around the corner Arthur stopped and gasped for air, his hands clawing at his chest where his heart refused to stop squeezing itself to death.
"Arthur!" Agravaine's voice echoed in the hallway and Arthur straightened up, plastered a smile over his face and turned towards his uncle.
"Uncle," He said with a smile.
"I was just on my way to Gaius to see how you were; you had us quite worried you know." His uncle's smile made Arthur's teeth grit.
"A slight bump on the head that is all," He said and gestured for his uncle to follow him on their way to the council rooms. "Nothing too serious."
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Gwen glanced at the training grounds and sighed again.
"Too much sighing isn't good for you my dear." Gaius said as they made their way past the grounds and unto the lower town.
With Merlin's death Gwen took his position, wanting to be there for Gaius.
"How can he do that?" Gwen asked again, voicing out loud what she's been thinking for the last two weeks.
"How can who do what?" Gaius said, pretending he didn't understand her question.
"Come on Gaius, how can he act as if nothing happened?" Gwen said, doing her best to keep her voice down.
"How can he act as if Merlin never existed? As if he didn't-"
"Gwen." Gaius warned and Gwen closed her mouth.
Sighing, Gaius led her to a small bench and they sat there. "It's not that he pretends Merlin didn't exist," Gaius started, his voice trembling just so over Merlin's name. "It's just that, Arthur isn't used to express his feelings, much less his pain and Merlin… Merlin is connected to both of these so he does what he knows best, pretend it didn't happen, pretend that everything is the same as it always been."
Gwen shook her head. "How can he do that? I… If I didn't have you or, or Lance I'd… I'd go mad." Gwen whispered and looked away, the tears coming back as they did every time they talked about Merlin.
"I know dear." Gaius said and pulled her to a hug, both taking comfort from the human touch.
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"Good morning father." Arthur said quietly as he entered his father's room, nodding to Gwen as she left.
"Happy birthday son!" His father smiled and Arthur stared at him.
"What?" Uther frowned. "You thought I'd forget your birthday?"
Arthur smiled at his father. "Of course not father, I even arranged your favorite entertainment for tonight's feast."
Uther smiled and started talking happily about Arthur as a little boy, laughing at his own memories and clapping every time Arthur asked a new question.
After leaving his father's room Arthur went straight to his own chambers; ordering the guards outside to let no one enter.
Sitting heavily on his chair in front of the fire Arthur closed his eyes; he didn't feel like celebrating his birthday, after all, what was there to celebrate? He is alive today only because Merlin-
Arthur shook his head; he won't think about it, he couldn't.
Grabbing the nearest object Arthur hurled it against the wall and ignored the guard's cries of alarm.
"Damn you Merlin…" Arthur whispered as he sank down, hours later between the wreckages of his room. "Damn you to hell."
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"Thank you all for coming!" Uther's voice carried in the great hall, followed by happy cheers from all the people. "Today we celebrate my son's birthday and I would like to have a toast to Arthur's health and for a strong Camelot!"
"To Arthur's health and a strong Camelot!" The crowd echoed and Arthur smiled at everyone, draining his cup again and lifting it for another fill.
"Maybe you shouldn't drink so much my lord." Sir Leon's concerned voice penetrated through Arthur's haze.
"Nonsense Sir Leon!" Arthur said cheerfully, his lips stretched in a fake smile. "It's my birthday! I'm just glad I'm alive!"
Sir Leon's face twisted in concern but his reply was swallowed as the evening entertainment arrived.
Hours later Arthur stumbled alone into his room, the amount of wine he consumed would give him a magnificent headache tomorrow morning for sure.
"You are such a prat!" Merlin said and Arthur whirled around to see Merlin finishing to sweep the room.
"M-Merlin?" Arthur stammered and took a step towards him only to stop. "No," He shook his head. "No, it's not you, it's a hallucination, you aren't real, I'm not-" His foot hit the edge of the chair and Arthur crashed down, scrapping his palm as he reached out to stop his fall.
"You are not real." He whispered again and closed his eyes, rocking back and forth.
"Why not?" Merlin's soft voice sounded so much closer and Arthur desperately wanted to open his eyes.
"Because… because…because you are dead!" He yelled and opened his eyes to stare at the empty room.
"You are dead," Arthur repeated to the empty air. "And I didn't get to tell you," He swallowed around the lump in his throat. "I didn't get to tell you so many things… Merlin…"
Arthur grabbed his hair and pulled, hoping that the pain in his head will lessen the pain in his heart.
"I didn't get to tell you how important you are… I didn't get to… you are my friend…"
Arthur crawled to the rug near the fire and curled there, his back to the blazing fire and his tears streaming silently down his face.
"Merlin… I'm so sorry…" Arthur whispered. "I didn't mean for you to die… you were never supposed to die instead of me…You weren't supposed to die at all…"
"I can't… This isn't the same without you Merlin… this isn't… I can't do it… you remember you said I would be a great king? Don't you want to see it?" Arthur's voice rose.
"Don't you want to see it?! Merlin! Answer me!"
A pounding on the door stopped Arthur from throwing an expensive vase at the wall.
"What?!" He growled and the door banged open, revealing a distressed looking sir Leon.
"Sire, your father-"
Arthur was on his feet in a second, his drunken state forgotten.
"What happened?"
"It would seem that the apple, Gaius said it is a poison he doesn't know and-"
Arthur stopped listening as he ran towards his father's rooms.
"How long does he have?" Arthur gasped at Gaius as he slammed the door to his father's chamber's open, startling both Gaius and Gwen.
"Sire I-"
"How long does he have?" Arthur repeated, catching his breath and staring at his father's pale form.
"A little over a day sire." Gaius said slowly, collecting his things.
Arthur nodded and sat down next to his father.
"Alert Geoffrey that he will be needed for a crowning ceremony in two days." He said coldly and Gaius nodded, leaving the room with Gwen trailing behind him.
"Sir Leon?"
"Sire?"
"Have we caught them yet?" Arthur knew that Leon won't need him to say anything more.
"We have."
"Good, they will be executed at dawn by pyre."
"Yes sire." Leon bowed and left.
Arthur sat there silently before he rose and went to the window, moving the curtains and exposing Camelot's view.
"Is it awful of me father," Arthur said slowly. "That I envy you?"
Silent was his only reply and Arthur leaned his forehead against the glass.
"You will die and move on to the next world to be with my mother while me…" He turned around to look at his father again.
"You left me all alone." Arthur whispered and he wasn't sure who he was really talking to.
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3. Anger and Bargaining.
Arthur took a deep breath and allowed the cold air to fill his lungs, letting the cold wash over him and numb everything within him. He opened his eyes slowly and glanced down, the lower town was shining with tiny lights now that winter was in full swing and everyone was enclosed inside with their loved ones. Arthur's fists clenched.
It's been three months since Merlin died and it seemed as though everyone forgot about him already.
His knights were laughing and joking as they used to and even Gaius seemed to be handling himself quite well with Gwen's help, which of course, in her turn seemed perfectly fine with the fact that her friend died!
Arthur grabbed the edge of the wall and tried to stop the boiling blood in his veins, it would seem that he was the only one who remembered Merlin, the only one who cared enough to keep on trying and find a way to get him back.
Arthur rubbed his neck and turned around, making his way back to the library.
For the last two weeks he's been here, forcing Geoffrey to uncover every single book of magic he has hidden from his father so he could find something, anything to get Merlin back. He didn't care how, only that Merlin will be back by his side.
"Sire?" Geoffrey's gruff voice sounded from his room and Arthur waved him off, signaling that he didn't need any help.
Blood spells.
Human sacrifices.
Eternal contract.
He looked through everything and always came up with one single problem- He needed magic.
Powerful magic and to Arthur's immense irritation, he didn't have any.
Arthur knew that if his father were still alive he'd be furious, more than that he might have even disowned Arthur but his father was dead and frankly? Arthur didn't care what he had to do as long as Merlin was back with him, he might even bring magic back, maybe, if the old religion promised to give him back Merlin.
Arthur paused; maybe he should talk to Gaius about it. Yeah, he should definitely go and see him right now.
Exiting the library quickly Arthur made his way to the court physicians' quarters and frowned when he saw his uncle exiting the castle.
His frown deepening Arthur followed his uncle with his gaze until he vanished into the stables, exiting a few short moments later on horseback.
His plan to talk with Gaius forgotten for the moment Arthur turned around and walked towards his uncle's rooms.
Arthur knew that he has changed since Merlin's death. Things that he was oblivious to in the past were now frighteningly obvious to him and so he wasn't blind to his uncle's suspicious behavior.
Encouraging him to start a war instead of solving it in a peaceful manner; sneaking out of Camelot in the middle of the night and other odd occurrences all added up to one conclusion: His uncle was up to something and Arthur will be damned if he allowed the man to carry on as he pleased.
As he walked towards his uncle's rooms Arthur wondered what he will do if his uncle turned out to be a traitor?
He couldn't kill him immediately, obviously, but having him in court might be a problem for future decisions…for example… bringing magic back.
Arthur's eyes narrowed as he neared his uncle's rooms, no one will prevent him from doing whatever it took to get Merlin back, not even his uncle, especially if he was the traitor.
Opening the door quietly Arthur glanced inside, making sure there was no one in before he walked in, he may be the king but being seen sneaking into his uncle's rooms in the middle of the night will set the castle's gossip chain on fire.
As he searched through his uncle's documents and various things he thought about the last conversation he had with the man.
They were seating in the council chambers after the rest of the council was dismissed and his uncle asked for permission to speak freely.
"You know I think of you as my son right?" His uncle asked and Arthur nodded.
"Of course uncle," Arthur took a sip from his goblet and stared at the man. "What is it?"
"Some of the people; have expressed their…concern…" His uncle started and Arthur's eyes narrowed.
"Concern?" He said quietly, his voice dropping to a near whisper, sounding so much like his father when magic was involved.
"Not anything too serious of course!" Agravaine hastened to say and Arthur noted that the man tried to wipe his brow discreetly.
"But there are those who wonder why you have yet taken a wife…" His uncle trailed off and Arthur stared at him for a while.
The truth was that the thought about marriage haven't crossed his mind at all, he knew that he will be forced to, for the good of Camelot of course, but the concept of having another person with him all the time… Arthur frowned, no, that wasn't right, the concept of having someone who wasn't Merlin with him all the time seemed…wrong.
Arthur fixed his uncle with a hard look as he rose from his seat, his uncle hurried to do the same.
"I hardly think it's appropriate to start talking about marriage when I lost my father three months ago." He said in a low tone and left the hall, leaving his uncle staring after him.
Sighing as he found nothing in his search Arthur left the room and moved towards his own chambers, it was too late to talk to Gaius and now that he remembered that talk Arthur knew he had another thing to worry about, he will have to stop all talk about marriage until he got Merlin back.
Nodding to himself Arthur climbed to his bed, not bothering with changing his clothes.
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The next night found Arthur walking slowly towards Gaius's rooms only to stop shortly before he reached them as he spotted a hooded man slipping inside the court physician's room. Curiosity got the better out of him and Arthur moved closer and leaned in to listen.
"Who are you?" Gaius's voice was heard and Arthur's hand moved towards his sword, ready to barge into the room at a second notice.
"Please Gaius," The man's accent was thick and Arthur couldn't recognize it.
"My name is Alator of the Catha; I'm here on a very important mission entrusted in me by the old religion."
Arthur's eyes widened and he wanted to break down the door and demand that the man will tell him everything he knew.
Gaius however didn't sound so thrilled.
"You do realize this is Camelot? You could get yourself killed for mentioning the old religion here." Arthur swallowed at the bitter tone in Gaius's voice.
"Then again," Gaius carried on, without letting the other man, Alator, talk. "Death might be the better case than some destinies." He said in an angry tone.
"You have suffered a great loss recently, have you not?" Alator said slowly, his voice oozing with sympathy and Arthur felt his eyes prickle.
"It doesn't matter," Gaius said briskly. "What do you want?"
"There is something I must know, our seers have seen a terrible tragedy has happened because of the meddling actions of the witch, I've come to see if it can be changed."
"What did they see?" Gaius asked; his voice cold.
"Emrys has died."
Arthur frowned, he didn't know anyone else has died recently besides Merlin, more so, he didn't know Gaius had known anyone by that name.
Gaius was silent for a few seconds before he sighed. "Your seers were right, Emrys died four months ago."
Alator let out a mournful cry and Arthur risked opening the door for a bit, the man's cries muffling the crack of the door.
Gaius grabbed the man's arm and led him to the nearest chair. A few moments later he collected himself and lifted his eyes to stare at Gaius.
"We must bring him back."
Gaius stared at him for a moment before letting out a harsh laughter.
"And how do you suggest we do that?" He asked bitterly.
"He passed unto the other world! These are powers beyond our comprehension! Dark magic that I will not work with," Gaius paused and closed his eyes. "He wouldn't want me to."
"I will be the one to do it then," Alator said and Arthur realized that whoever this Emrys was he was really important to Alator, important enough for him to use dark magic.
That man was exactly what Arthur needed.
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"We will need a bigger fire." Alator said and Gaius added another branch to the fire, they were in a clearing near a large lake and Arthur wondered what they were doing.
"And now, let us begin." Alator grabbed the bag he brought with him and pulled out a struggling falcon, the tiny hawk scrabbled for freedom before Alator crushed its neck in one swift movement, pulling out a sharp looking dagger.
"What are you doing?" Gaius said, his eyes widening when Alator sliced the bird's neck.
"Wha-"
"In the name of the old religion," Alator's voice boomed across the clearing. "I give you the blood of Emrys's soul!"
Pouring the blood into a large wooden bowl Alator moved on, reaching a bloody hand towards Gaius.
Arthur watched as Gaius handed him a piece of cloth, the cloth seemed familiar enough but Arthur couldn't put his finger on what made it seem so familiar.
"The physical symbol of his flesh!" Alator said again and tossed the cloth into the bowl.
"And now," Gaius took a step closer and presented his hand, palm up towards Alator.
"The yearning of a loved one!" Alator sliced Gaius's palm and allowed the blood to flow into the bowl.
Gaius took a step back as Alator lifted the bowl and poured its contents into the lake.
"Forces of the old religion!" He cried out. "Take our humble sacrifice and give us back the one we seek!"
Arthur held his breathe as the water's surface rippled and glowed before a figure appeared, inch by inch it revealed the figure of an old woman, dressed in robes with her mouth sat in a wicked grin, revealing missing teeth and narrow eyes.
"Alator," she said, her voice dripping with malice. "How dare you try and interfere with fate?"
"It is not I who interfered with fate Calilach!" Alator glared back.
"Emrys was taken from us before his time! His destiny has yet to be completed! The meddling witch-"
"Silence!" The Calilach roared and her figure flew across the water's surface to stand toe to toe with Alator's figure. "I decide when it is a being's time to be taken not anyone else! Destiny's wheels are moving according to the plan now that Emrys is gone, the once and future king is moving on the right path as well as the witch."
She raised one wrinkled finger toward Alator and Gaius. "You shall not interfere or I will make sure you will meet him sooner than expected."
With one last glance towards them she vanished back into the lake, leaving the clearing in pitch black darkness.
Creating a fiery boll Alator lightened the fire again and glared at the flames.
"This is not the end." He said and glanced up at Gaius.
"It is Alator." Gaius said tiredly and Arthur realized that he have never heard the man sound as old as he did now.
"With the Calilach keeping him there, there is no way we will be able to set him free, not to mention bring him back to this world," Gaius swallowed down and stared at the fire.
"This was a pointless attempt as it is," He sighed and sat down. "Merlin would have laughed at me for even trying."
Arthur's eyes widened when he heard Merlin's name. What was Merlin's connection to this sort of things?
"Merlin?" Alator asked, his brows furrowing in confusion.
"My ward." Gaius said and didn't carry on.
"Well," Gaius said briskly as he rose from his seat and stared at Alator. "I guess you will be on your way now?"
Alator rose slowly and glared once again in the direction of the water.
"I'll come back Gaius; I will find a way to bring him back."
Gaius didn't say a word as they collected their things and left the clearing.
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Arthur paced up and down in his room, his mind whirling.
Surely this Calilach being couldn't be guarding all souls?
Merlin was no one from a backwater village who meant nothing when it came to destiny so surely it won't be that much of a problem to bring him back right?
Arthur was more than willing to give away everything he had to get him back.
Taking a deep breath Arthur left his rooms and went to search for Alator.
He found him three hours later, camping near a small river.
Dismounting slowly he approached the man who looked at him wearily.
"Do you know who I am?" Arthur asked; his hand curled against his thigh.
Alator nodded. "Arthur Pendragon, king of Camelot."
"That's right." Arthur said and then stopped; he wasn't sure how to approach the subject.
"What is it you want young Pendragon?" Alator asked, his face betraying nothing.
"I…" Arthur started and then stopped; taking a deep breath he looked Alator in the eyes and let the words pour from his mouth. "I need you to bring someone back."
Alator looked at him for a long moment before he spoke.
"Bring someone back from where king of Camelot?"
"The dead; He died for me and I…" Arthur swallowed down the lump that insisted on lodging itself in his throat. "I need him back."
Alator stared at him before he rose from his place on the ground.
"Do you realize what you are asking for Pendragon? This is magic we are talking about, dark magic, and it won't come without a price."
Arthur nodded; He already knew that. "I know; I'm ready for the consequences."
"Even if they will be the death of a loved one; a member of your family," Alator's voice was grave.
Arthur's eyes narrowed. "Can you do it or not?"
Alator looked taken back before he bowed his head. "What will you offer the old religion in exchange for your friend's life?"
Taking a deep breath Arthur stared at Alator before he answered.
"I shall accept magic back into Camelot, embracing the old religion once more."
Alator's eyes widened and he opened and closed his mouth several times before Arthur lost his patience.
"Look, can you do it or not?"
"I shall do it." Alator said quickly. "Meet me in the sacred cauldron in three days; your court physician will know the way." With that he vanished between the woods, leaving behind a determined Arthur.
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Arthur closed his eyes and waited for the knock on the door, when it came he took a calming breathe before he answered.
"Come in."
"You called for me sire?" Gaius asked; his voice weary.
"Indeed I have," Arthur smiled and gestured for the chair in front of his. "Please, have a seat."
Gaius hesitated for only a moment before sitting down, when he did he looked Arthur straight in the eyes, Arthur allowed it, letting the old man to search for whatever it was he wanted to find.
"Is something wrong sire?"
Arthur allowed a small smile to cross his lips at the sound of worry in the old man's voice.
"Everything is well Gaius; I called you here because there is something I need to know."
Gaius nodded his head and gestured for Arthur to continue.
"You have been a trusted friend to both my father and I," Arthur started as he rose from his seat, preferring to pace as he got the words out.
"But of course sire." Gaius said quickly.
"I do not question your loyalty Gaius, this isn't what I called you here for; I called you here to discuss a matter of grave importance that must remain between the two of us." Arthur stopped pacing and turned to look at Gaius, the old man's expression was completely serious now.
"Anything for you, sir."
Arthur nodded." I need you to tell me the way to the sacred Cauldron."
Gaius's eyes widened and then returned to their normal size and Arthur knew he was about to lie to him.
"If you have any respect for me Gaius you will not lie to me," Arthur said quietly.
"I have seen you and the man Alator and I'm going to use him to get Merlin back."
Gaius's mouth dropped open and he swallowed several times before he found his voice again.
"Sire I-"
"I do not blame you Gaius, nor do I intend to take actions against you. I simply ask for your help, Alator already agreed to assist me."
"Sire, if I may speak freely?"
"You may."
"The old religion isn't a forgiving one sire, the price to bring someone back, even if it were possible is a terrible one, another man's life or worse, are you aware of that?"
"I do, I will tell you what I've told Alator, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get Merlin back."
"Sire this-"
"I plan on allowing magic back into Camelot, embracing the old religion once more if Merlin will return to me." Arthur exposed his last card.
"Please Gaius."
Gaius looked older than ever when Arthur looked at the old man battling with his own mind.
"Have you thought about Merlin Arthur?"
"What?" Arthur took a step back, he didn't expect this argument.
"Have you thought about how Merlin will react should he discover you took the life of another to bring him back?"
"I-"
"He sacrificed his life so that you and Camelot's citizens will remain safe and alive," Gaius emphasized. "And you will dishonor his memory by taking innocent life?"
Arthur's eyes narrowed. "Do you not want him back? I thought you, of all people, will support me! You have fought with my father countless of times on the subject of magic and now that I'm willing to bring it back for Merlin you seek pathetic excuses to dissuade me?" Arthur's voice was rising with every word.
"No sire no; I," Gaius's voice broke a bit and he took a deep breath. "You know that I would give anything to get Merlin back but…Have you taken into consideration the court; your people's reaction? Not only will you be bringing magic back and allowing the old religion to rise again but they will see someone they thought was dead for the last three months! How will they react?"
Arthur closed his eyes and allowed Gaius's reasoning to wash over him, he was right of course, after years of fearing magic and despising the old religion, if Arthur were to allow magic back into the kingdom just like that it will be… But then the thought of the years without Merlin that waited before him crushed upon his mind, filling it with loneliness and unbearable agony. No, he had to try.
"When the time comes the people will accept it all, as for the court, they will handle it," Arthur paused and looked at Gaius again.
"But I have to try Gaius, one last try before I'll admit that he is gone, before I…" Arthur trailed off, the thought of moving on and forgetting unbearable.
Gaius sighed and shook his head.
"I do not believe it will work but, I will tell you where the sacred Cauldron is and for what it's worth, you have my support in court, in everything Arthur."
Arthur smiled; the first real smile in so long as he clasped Gaius's hand.
"Thank you," He whispered, allowing the tears of relief to slide down his cheeks. "Thank you."
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"Are you sure you wish to continue young Pendragon?" Alator asked again, once everything was ready.
"I'm sure." Arthur answered, he was finally going to get Merlin back and nothing would stop him.
"Very well, let us carry on then." Alator reached his hand towards Arthur, asking for the first item.
Arthur pulled out a small kitten, drugged courtesy of Gaius, and handed it over to Alator.
Alator didn't say a word as he sliced the kitten's neck and allowed the blood to pour into a large bowl.
Next came a wooden statute that Arthur handed reluctantly, for some reason he loved that little dragon replica though he had no idea where Merlin got it from.
Alator frowned as he took hold of the statute but didn't say a word, grabbing a sharp dagger he reached for Arthur's hand and made a large cut in his palm.
Making sure the statute was well covered in blood; Alator raised the bowl to the fool moon and called out.
"Triple goddesses hear our call! We have come here to seek for your help!"
Putting the bowl on the water's edge Alator continued.
"The mortal man Merlin son of-" Alator glanced at Arthur who quickly replied.
"Hunith."
"Merlin son of Hunith was taken from us before his time, with this sacrifice we beg for your assistance and ask for his soul to return to the world of the living!"
Arthur waited with pounding heart as nothing happened for few long minutes; he was just about to ask Alator what went wrong when the water's surface started glowing as a white figure rose from it, its gowns floating all around her.
"Who has come seeking my help?" A feminine voice asked and Arthur could feel her gaze upon him.
"Arthur Pendragon, king of Camelot!" Arthur answered, taking a step forward.
"A Pendragon using magic?" The voice mocked. "How unusual," She floated closer to him and looked at him. "Is he really so important to you?"
"He is." Arthur replied immediately.
"Very well, what will you offer me in return for this… service?"
"I will accept magic back into Camelot; embrace the old religion as my own."
"Are you sure about this young king?"
"I am."
"Very well, then it shall be done, you will get your Merlin back, though, I can't say when."
"Wait! What-" Arthur started saying.
"The deal is done." The figure said and vanished, leaving Arthur and Alator alone.
"What the hell?!" Arthur whirled around to glare at Alator but the man looked stunned, staring at the point where the figure vanished from.
"Alator!" Arthur grabbed the man and shook him. "You lied to me! Where is Merlin?!"
"You heard her…" Alator whispered; his eyes still glossy. "You will get him back."
"When?! I want him now!"
"The goddess never lies; you will get him back, someday."
Arthur let the man go, his blood boiling and his head pounding.
"Mark my words Alator," Arthur hissed as he mounted his horse. "If I will not get Merlin back in the next three months you will regret the fact that my father died,"
Alator raised alarmed eyes to stare at Arthur.
"I will make sure to wipe every piece of magic from the face of the land; I will make the great purge look like a pathetic ambush."
"King Arthur-" Alator started but Arthur stopped him.
"Three months, after that you better be running first because I will be coming for you."
With that Arthur rode off, leaving a concerned looking Alator behind and a smirking goddess.
Summery: Based on prompt number 13 where Merlin walks into the veil instead of Lancelot and Arthur is left behind. Refusing to accept the fact that Merlin is gone Arthur does whatever he can to get him back.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Warning: Violence?
Have fun!
[Six degrees of seperation part 1]
1. Shock and denial
Something was missing.
Arthur couldn't put his finger on what it was exactly, only that, something was missing, it was like a part of him went missing, a part he never knew he had and only now that it was gone he realized he found it.
Blinking his eyes slowly, Arthur opened them and looked around him, the stars twinkled and shined like tiny diamonds in the velvety fabric of the night sky, a fire was going somewhere to his right and though he couldn't see it he felt it's warmth, he took another deep breath and a small smile curled upon his lips, the air smelled different, without the decaying presence of the Dorocha and-
Arthur's mind froze, backtracking carefully through his thoughts he stopped at the last one: The Dorocha. He was obviously alive and yet the Dorocha were gone so that meant-
His eyes skimmed their camp quickly: All his knights were there with Lancelot standing guard and Merlin… Arthur's eyes widened as the name echoed in his mind.
"Where's Merlin?"
He didn't mean for it to sound so… panicky, but right now he didn't really care.
"Where is Merlin?" His tone rose sharply as he struggled to rise from his blanket.
"Merlin?" Arthur's voice echoed in the darkness around them and Arthur stared as none of his knights answered him.
"Where is that idiot?" He demanded; this was getting ridicules.
"Merlin!" Arthur roared and his hand reached for his sword, trying to get up.
"Sire he's…" Lancelot started and trailed off when Arthur's gaze landed on him.
"What? Taking a bath? Talking a midnight stroll? Where is he?"
Lancelot was quiet for a moment before he lifted his eyes to meet Arthur's furious gaze and suddenly Arthur couldn't breathe for there was pain in Lancelot's gaze, so much pain that Arthur's mind refused to think about the reason for that amount of pain.
"No…" Arthur's whisper was swallowed down by Lancelot's answer.
"He is dead sire, he went through the veil." Lancelot said, his shoulders sagging and his hands clenching.
"No." Arthur shook his head, finally rising from his blanket. "No." He said again, his eyes burning. "If this is your idea of a joke sir Lancelot I assure you that you and he will be thrown into the dungeons for the next three weeks! Now where is he?"
Lancelot took a step back and stared at Arthur as the prince's upper lip curled in disdain.
"Sire I swear this isn't a joke! He… Merlin he…" Lancelot's voice fluttered and something in Arthur snapped.
"Merlin!" He screamed. "Where the hell are you?!"
"He is gone Arthur!" Gwaine's voice pierced through Arthur's shocked mind and he whirled around, staring at the knight.
"He is gone," Gwaine said again, this time more quietly. "He went through the veil and…" He trailed off, knowing that nothing more needed to be said.
Arthur swallowed around the lump in his throat and shook his head.
"No," He said again. "No, no, no you… he isn't… he didn't…" In the back of his mind Arthur was aware that he dropped his sword; that he backed away from his knights and towards the lake, he heard Percival's concerned call of 'sire?' and Leon's soft voice telling him to let him be.
And then he was knees deep in the lake water and staring unseeing at the island before him, the cursed island that… no, Arthur shook his head again, no, Merlin wasn't dead, he wasn't…
Arthur heard someone choking and turned around frantically, knowing that it had to be Merlin, the idiot must have fallen into the lake or something, only to find nothing and to realize it was he who was choking, he who was gasping for air, tears streaming down his face as if he just lost his-
Arthur clenched his fingers; this couldn't be happening, Merlin couldn't be dead, they've been through so much together, they've destroyed the great dragon for god's sake! One single veil couldn't beat them, it couldn't separate them, couldn't…
Arthur swallowed again and clutched at his chest, his heart beating was unbearable and Arthur wanted it to stop, he wanted everything to stop! The pounding in his head and the beating of his heart and Merlin's blue eyes that stared at him from the depths of the lake and…
In the back of his mind Arthur heard the splash of the water and felt the coldness spreading through his limbs like the sweetest nectar he has ever tasted, he heard his knights shouts and felt them grab at his body and just before the darkness closed on him once again he saw Merlin and yes, Arthur thought, someone was missing.
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"Would you stop it my child?" Gaius's soft voice stopped Gwen as she moved towards the window again.
"I'm sure we'll hear when they are back." He said and Gwen swallowed around the lump in her throat because no matter who will be back she will lose someone dear, they will all lose someone.
"Do you think-"
"There is no point in doing much of that right now dear." Gaius said and Gwen cursed herself for talking too much, after all, Merlin was with them as well and Gaius was as worried as she was.
She bite her lower lip and tried to stop moving, her right leg started shaking again and she laid her hand on it only to notice that her hand was shaking as well.
"Here," Gaius presented her with a small vial. "Drink this; it's a calming draught-"
A sound from the yard caused Gwen to fly off her seat and the vial smashed on the ground but both Gwen and Gaius couldn't care less, they were already flying down the stairs and into the courtyard where the knights were returning.
Gwen's eyes stared at each and every knight that rode into the courtyard; Leon and Gwaine, Lancelot and Gwen ignored the relived sigh that escaped her lips when she saw him, Elyan and a smile curved her lips, Percival and finally Arthur's horse, her heart stopped, with Arthur's body draped upon it.
"Oh god…" Gwen's hands flew to her mouth as she followed Gaius down the stairs, the old man's speed a surprising thing in his age.
"Arthur…" She breathed and glanced at Lancelot who shook his head and opened his mouth to speak.
"He isn't dead Gwen," Gaius said quickly. "But I need to see this bruise, get him to my chambers quickly."
The knights moved quickly and silently as they carried Arthur's unconscious form to Gaius's chambers.
"How did it happen?" Gaius asked the silent room and Lancelot coughed.
"He, he was knocked over." Was all he said as he exchanged looks with the rest of the knights, Gwen frowned.
"Well, it doesn't seem too serious; did he wake since hitting his head?"
Gwen's eyes narrowed as the knights exchanged looks again.
"Yes," Gwaine answered. "He was his usual self." He assured the physician.
"Good, good, well, he'll just sleep it off." He clapped his hands and smiled at them. "Now-"
He started to say and stopped. "Where is Merlin?" He said, looking beyond the knights at the door.
Gwen frowned; she couldn't remember seeing Merlin when they entered the courtyard and-
Gaius reached the same conclusion.
"No." Gwen's eyes filled with tears at the pain that filled the old man's voice and the realization that came with it.
"Gaius I-" Lancelot started.
"No, no, no, not my boy, not Merlin, please no." Gaius said as he stared at them, his eyes pleading.
"There was nothing I could do." Lancelot said again, staring at Gaius's eyes as if he was trying to say something more.
"Oh god…" Gwen whispered as Gaius crumpled to the seat next to Arthur's bed and covered his face.
Lancelot turned to her, his eyes pained. "I'm sorry," He whispered. "I tried to keep him safe." He said and Gwen wanted to throw up because Arthur was safe but Merlin… Merlin was…
"His body?" She asked instead, because the least they could do was-
"There wouldn't be one," Gaius's voice trembled. "He went through the veil."
The only time Gwen saw Gaius cry was when Merlin was poisoned all that time ago and it was an awful sight, one that she never wanted to see again but now… Gwen's vision blurred by her own tears as she looked away, unable to see Gaius's broken expression.
"He will receive a burial ceremony worthy of a knight," Leon said, his face emotionless but Gwen could see the pain in his eyes. "He saved Camelot after all."
Gaius let out a hollow laughter and lifted empty eyes to look at him.
"Yes indeed, he saved Camelot."
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Arthur woke up to a pounding headache; he blinked his eyes open and closed them again immediately muttering a curse under his breath when the blazing sun scorched his eyeballs.
A muffled laughter sounded from somewhere in the room and then a loud crash and the curtains were drawn shut, plunging the room in blissful darkness.
"Better?" Merlin's amused voice sounded and Arthur opened his eyes fully to look at his manservant.
"Much." Arthur said and smiled at him, lifting his upper body to lean on the headboard.
His smile slipped away when he remembered his dream.
"I had an awful dream Merlin." He started and Merlin lifted one black eyebrow. "Do I really want to hear it?"
"Yes." Arthur said quickly and Merlin sighed and moved closer to the bed.
"Alright, let's have it. What was this awful dream about?"
Arthur opened his mouth and then closed it, unsure how to say it without sounding too… girly.
"You left me," He said and then amended quickly. "I mean, you died."
He expected Merlin to laugh or snort in amusement at him but Merlin didn't do any of these.
Rubbing the back of his neck Merlin sat down next to Arthur and Arthur was going to tell him to get off of his bed any moment now but then he looked into Merlin's eyes and frowned.
"Merlin?"
"It wasn't a dream Arthur." Merlin said quietly and looked away.
"What, what do you mean?" Arthur said, struggling to keep his voice level.
"Of course it was a dream! You are here aren't you?" He finished and reached for Merlin's hand only to gasp as his fingers passed right through it.
"What the hell?" Arthur tried again and again but every single time he did it the result was the same: He couldn't touch Merlin.
"Arthur, Arthur, stop it." Merlin's chocked voice caught his attention and he lifted his eyes to stare at him.
"Merlin what is going on here?" He whispered.
"I'm dead Arthur." Merlin said softly and the tears finally rolled down his cheeks. "I just had to see you again."
"No," Arthur said; shaking his head and rising up, bringing both his hands to cup Merlin's face only to pass straight through. "You can't be dead!" He was aware his voice was rising in levels but he didn't care. "You can't, I didn't allow you to! I never said you could die! I'm not ready for you to die! You said-"
"Arthur please, stop it." Merlin whispered and Arthur wanted desperately to hug him, protocol be damned. "I…"
"You promised. You promised you will be my servant 'till the day you die."
Merlin let out a chocked laughter. "I meant every word I said," His hand lifted to caress Arthur's cheek, the touch a ghost of a wind across his skin. "I didn't mean for that day to get here so soon." He finished and stared at Arthur helplessly.
"I just…"
"I can't let you do this Merlin." Arthur repeated stubbornly. "I can't let you go, I won't let you go."
Merlin closed his eyes for a moment and then rose from the bed.
"I have to go."
"What? No!" Arthur rose as well and moved to grab Merlin's arm, needing to pull the other man closer.
"I have already been here too long, I… I'm so sorry Arthur." And then he walked to the main door and left the room.
Arthur stared for two seconds before he rushed to the door and slammed it open, following Merlin into the hall.
"Merlin!" He screamed and then froze as he noticed they weren't in the hall outside his rooms.
Arthur stared at the clearing around him and turned in a full circle, looking for his manservant.
"I'm not ready do you hear me?!" He yelled into the empty air."I'm not ready to let you go that easily Merlin! I refuse to let you go!"
Arthur's knees gave way and he crashed to the floor.
"Please Merlin… I can't lose you…I just can't… please…"
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2. Pain and Guilt
"Sire."
"Merlin…please no…"
"Sire!"
Gaius's voice tore Arthur away from his nightmare and he opened his eyes, staring at Gaius's sad face.
"You were dreaming again." Gaius said and sat down next to Arthur's bed, lifting a small vial to his lips. "Drink this."
Arthur took the vial and stared at it. "Is it the dreamless potion?"
Gaius nodded.
"Good." He drained it in a single gulp and handed the vial back to Gaius.
He didn't want these dreams; he didn't need the constant reminder that Merlin was gone. He was going to be just fine. His father once told him that it was a servant's duty to sacrifice his life for his master and that is exactly what happened, his manservant did his job, there was no need to get all teary eyed about it.
"When will I be able to get back to my duties Gaius?" Arthur asked, eyeing the court physician and doing his best to ignore the new lines of age that seemed to appear over night on the old man's face.
"The moment you feel up to it sire." Gaius replied quietly, clearing away the food tray that Arthur didn't touch.
"Good." Arthur said and looked away, his eyes landing on the door to Merlin's room and he chocked, that excruciating pain spreading through his body again. He shut his eyes tightly and clenched his fingers, trying to breathe again.
"Sire?"
"I'm fine Gaius," He said briskly and rose in one fluid motion from the bed. "Just a bit dizzy is all."
"A side affect of your head injury," Gaius said slowly. "Maybe you should lie down some more and-"
"There will be no need for that, I'm sure my uncle is quite concerned as it is."
With that he left the room, the door slamming shut in his wake.
Turning around the corner Arthur stopped and gasped for air, his hands clawing at his chest where his heart refused to stop squeezing itself to death.
"Arthur!" Agravaine's voice echoed in the hallway and Arthur straightened up, plastered a smile over his face and turned towards his uncle.
"Uncle," He said with a smile.
"I was just on my way to Gaius to see how you were; you had us quite worried you know." His uncle's smile made Arthur's teeth grit.
"A slight bump on the head that is all," He said and gestured for his uncle to follow him on their way to the council rooms. "Nothing too serious."
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Gwen glanced at the training grounds and sighed again.
"Too much sighing isn't good for you my dear." Gaius said as they made their way past the grounds and unto the lower town.
With Merlin's death Gwen took his position, wanting to be there for Gaius.
"How can he do that?" Gwen asked again, voicing out loud what she's been thinking for the last two weeks.
"How can who do what?" Gaius said, pretending he didn't understand her question.
"Come on Gaius, how can he act as if nothing happened?" Gwen said, doing her best to keep her voice down.
"How can he act as if Merlin never existed? As if he didn't-"
"Gwen." Gaius warned and Gwen closed her mouth.
Sighing, Gaius led her to a small bench and they sat there. "It's not that he pretends Merlin didn't exist," Gaius started, his voice trembling just so over Merlin's name. "It's just that, Arthur isn't used to express his feelings, much less his pain and Merlin… Merlin is connected to both of these so he does what he knows best, pretend it didn't happen, pretend that everything is the same as it always been."
Gwen shook her head. "How can he do that? I… If I didn't have you or, or Lance I'd… I'd go mad." Gwen whispered and looked away, the tears coming back as they did every time they talked about Merlin.
"I know dear." Gaius said and pulled her to a hug, both taking comfort from the human touch.
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"Good morning father." Arthur said quietly as he entered his father's room, nodding to Gwen as she left.
"Happy birthday son!" His father smiled and Arthur stared at him.
"What?" Uther frowned. "You thought I'd forget your birthday?"
Arthur smiled at his father. "Of course not father, I even arranged your favorite entertainment for tonight's feast."
Uther smiled and started talking happily about Arthur as a little boy, laughing at his own memories and clapping every time Arthur asked a new question.
After leaving his father's room Arthur went straight to his own chambers; ordering the guards outside to let no one enter.
Sitting heavily on his chair in front of the fire Arthur closed his eyes; he didn't feel like celebrating his birthday, after all, what was there to celebrate? He is alive today only because Merlin-
Arthur shook his head; he won't think about it, he couldn't.
Grabbing the nearest object Arthur hurled it against the wall and ignored the guard's cries of alarm.
"Damn you Merlin…" Arthur whispered as he sank down, hours later between the wreckages of his room. "Damn you to hell."
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"Thank you all for coming!" Uther's voice carried in the great hall, followed by happy cheers from all the people. "Today we celebrate my son's birthday and I would like to have a toast to Arthur's health and for a strong Camelot!"
"To Arthur's health and a strong Camelot!" The crowd echoed and Arthur smiled at everyone, draining his cup again and lifting it for another fill.
"Maybe you shouldn't drink so much my lord." Sir Leon's concerned voice penetrated through Arthur's haze.
"Nonsense Sir Leon!" Arthur said cheerfully, his lips stretched in a fake smile. "It's my birthday! I'm just glad I'm alive!"
Sir Leon's face twisted in concern but his reply was swallowed as the evening entertainment arrived.
Hours later Arthur stumbled alone into his room, the amount of wine he consumed would give him a magnificent headache tomorrow morning for sure.
"You are such a prat!" Merlin said and Arthur whirled around to see Merlin finishing to sweep the room.
"M-Merlin?" Arthur stammered and took a step towards him only to stop. "No," He shook his head. "No, it's not you, it's a hallucination, you aren't real, I'm not-" His foot hit the edge of the chair and Arthur crashed down, scrapping his palm as he reached out to stop his fall.
"You are not real." He whispered again and closed his eyes, rocking back and forth.
"Why not?" Merlin's soft voice sounded so much closer and Arthur desperately wanted to open his eyes.
"Because… because…because you are dead!" He yelled and opened his eyes to stare at the empty room.
"You are dead," Arthur repeated to the empty air. "And I didn't get to tell you," He swallowed around the lump in his throat. "I didn't get to tell you so many things… Merlin…"
Arthur grabbed his hair and pulled, hoping that the pain in his head will lessen the pain in his heart.
"I didn't get to tell you how important you are… I didn't get to… you are my friend…"
Arthur crawled to the rug near the fire and curled there, his back to the blazing fire and his tears streaming silently down his face.
"Merlin… I'm so sorry…" Arthur whispered. "I didn't mean for you to die… you were never supposed to die instead of me…You weren't supposed to die at all…"
"I can't… This isn't the same without you Merlin… this isn't… I can't do it… you remember you said I would be a great king? Don't you want to see it?" Arthur's voice rose.
"Don't you want to see it?! Merlin! Answer me!"
A pounding on the door stopped Arthur from throwing an expensive vase at the wall.
"What?!" He growled and the door banged open, revealing a distressed looking sir Leon.
"Sire, your father-"
Arthur was on his feet in a second, his drunken state forgotten.
"What happened?"
"It would seem that the apple, Gaius said it is a poison he doesn't know and-"
Arthur stopped listening as he ran towards his father's rooms.
"How long does he have?" Arthur gasped at Gaius as he slammed the door to his father's chamber's open, startling both Gaius and Gwen.
"Sire I-"
"How long does he have?" Arthur repeated, catching his breath and staring at his father's pale form.
"A little over a day sire." Gaius said slowly, collecting his things.
Arthur nodded and sat down next to his father.
"Alert Geoffrey that he will be needed for a crowning ceremony in two days." He said coldly and Gaius nodded, leaving the room with Gwen trailing behind him.
"Sir Leon?"
"Sire?"
"Have we caught them yet?" Arthur knew that Leon won't need him to say anything more.
"We have."
"Good, they will be executed at dawn by pyre."
"Yes sire." Leon bowed and left.
Arthur sat there silently before he rose and went to the window, moving the curtains and exposing Camelot's view.
"Is it awful of me father," Arthur said slowly. "That I envy you?"
Silent was his only reply and Arthur leaned his forehead against the glass.
"You will die and move on to the next world to be with my mother while me…" He turned around to look at his father again.
"You left me all alone." Arthur whispered and he wasn't sure who he was really talking to.
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3. Anger and Bargaining.
Arthur took a deep breath and allowed the cold air to fill his lungs, letting the cold wash over him and numb everything within him. He opened his eyes slowly and glanced down, the lower town was shining with tiny lights now that winter was in full swing and everyone was enclosed inside with their loved ones. Arthur's fists clenched.
It's been three months since Merlin died and it seemed as though everyone forgot about him already.
His knights were laughing and joking as they used to and even Gaius seemed to be handling himself quite well with Gwen's help, which of course, in her turn seemed perfectly fine with the fact that her friend died!
Arthur grabbed the edge of the wall and tried to stop the boiling blood in his veins, it would seem that he was the only one who remembered Merlin, the only one who cared enough to keep on trying and find a way to get him back.
Arthur rubbed his neck and turned around, making his way back to the library.
For the last two weeks he's been here, forcing Geoffrey to uncover every single book of magic he has hidden from his father so he could find something, anything to get Merlin back. He didn't care how, only that Merlin will be back by his side.
"Sire?" Geoffrey's gruff voice sounded from his room and Arthur waved him off, signaling that he didn't need any help.
Blood spells.
Human sacrifices.
Eternal contract.
He looked through everything and always came up with one single problem- He needed magic.
Powerful magic and to Arthur's immense irritation, he didn't have any.
Arthur knew that if his father were still alive he'd be furious, more than that he might have even disowned Arthur but his father was dead and frankly? Arthur didn't care what he had to do as long as Merlin was back with him, he might even bring magic back, maybe, if the old religion promised to give him back Merlin.
Arthur paused; maybe he should talk to Gaius about it. Yeah, he should definitely go and see him right now.
Exiting the library quickly Arthur made his way to the court physicians' quarters and frowned when he saw his uncle exiting the castle.
His frown deepening Arthur followed his uncle with his gaze until he vanished into the stables, exiting a few short moments later on horseback.
His plan to talk with Gaius forgotten for the moment Arthur turned around and walked towards his uncle's rooms.
Arthur knew that he has changed since Merlin's death. Things that he was oblivious to in the past were now frighteningly obvious to him and so he wasn't blind to his uncle's suspicious behavior.
Encouraging him to start a war instead of solving it in a peaceful manner; sneaking out of Camelot in the middle of the night and other odd occurrences all added up to one conclusion: His uncle was up to something and Arthur will be damned if he allowed the man to carry on as he pleased.
As he walked towards his uncle's rooms Arthur wondered what he will do if his uncle turned out to be a traitor?
He couldn't kill him immediately, obviously, but having him in court might be a problem for future decisions…for example… bringing magic back.
Arthur's eyes narrowed as he neared his uncle's rooms, no one will prevent him from doing whatever it took to get Merlin back, not even his uncle, especially if he was the traitor.
Opening the door quietly Arthur glanced inside, making sure there was no one in before he walked in, he may be the king but being seen sneaking into his uncle's rooms in the middle of the night will set the castle's gossip chain on fire.
As he searched through his uncle's documents and various things he thought about the last conversation he had with the man.
They were seating in the council chambers after the rest of the council was dismissed and his uncle asked for permission to speak freely.
"You know I think of you as my son right?" His uncle asked and Arthur nodded.
"Of course uncle," Arthur took a sip from his goblet and stared at the man. "What is it?"
"Some of the people; have expressed their…concern…" His uncle started and Arthur's eyes narrowed.
"Concern?" He said quietly, his voice dropping to a near whisper, sounding so much like his father when magic was involved.
"Not anything too serious of course!" Agravaine hastened to say and Arthur noted that the man tried to wipe his brow discreetly.
"But there are those who wonder why you have yet taken a wife…" His uncle trailed off and Arthur stared at him for a while.
The truth was that the thought about marriage haven't crossed his mind at all, he knew that he will be forced to, for the good of Camelot of course, but the concept of having another person with him all the time… Arthur frowned, no, that wasn't right, the concept of having someone who wasn't Merlin with him all the time seemed…wrong.
Arthur fixed his uncle with a hard look as he rose from his seat, his uncle hurried to do the same.
"I hardly think it's appropriate to start talking about marriage when I lost my father three months ago." He said in a low tone and left the hall, leaving his uncle staring after him.
Sighing as he found nothing in his search Arthur left the room and moved towards his own chambers, it was too late to talk to Gaius and now that he remembered that talk Arthur knew he had another thing to worry about, he will have to stop all talk about marriage until he got Merlin back.
Nodding to himself Arthur climbed to his bed, not bothering with changing his clothes.
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The next night found Arthur walking slowly towards Gaius's rooms only to stop shortly before he reached them as he spotted a hooded man slipping inside the court physician's room. Curiosity got the better out of him and Arthur moved closer and leaned in to listen.
"Who are you?" Gaius's voice was heard and Arthur's hand moved towards his sword, ready to barge into the room at a second notice.
"Please Gaius," The man's accent was thick and Arthur couldn't recognize it.
"My name is Alator of the Catha; I'm here on a very important mission entrusted in me by the old religion."
Arthur's eyes widened and he wanted to break down the door and demand that the man will tell him everything he knew.
Gaius however didn't sound so thrilled.
"You do realize this is Camelot? You could get yourself killed for mentioning the old religion here." Arthur swallowed at the bitter tone in Gaius's voice.
"Then again," Gaius carried on, without letting the other man, Alator, talk. "Death might be the better case than some destinies." He said in an angry tone.
"You have suffered a great loss recently, have you not?" Alator said slowly, his voice oozing with sympathy and Arthur felt his eyes prickle.
"It doesn't matter," Gaius said briskly. "What do you want?"
"There is something I must know, our seers have seen a terrible tragedy has happened because of the meddling actions of the witch, I've come to see if it can be changed."
"What did they see?" Gaius asked; his voice cold.
"Emrys has died."
Arthur frowned, he didn't know anyone else has died recently besides Merlin, more so, he didn't know Gaius had known anyone by that name.
Gaius was silent for a few seconds before he sighed. "Your seers were right, Emrys died four months ago."
Alator let out a mournful cry and Arthur risked opening the door for a bit, the man's cries muffling the crack of the door.
Gaius grabbed the man's arm and led him to the nearest chair. A few moments later he collected himself and lifted his eyes to stare at Gaius.
"We must bring him back."
Gaius stared at him for a moment before letting out a harsh laughter.
"And how do you suggest we do that?" He asked bitterly.
"He passed unto the other world! These are powers beyond our comprehension! Dark magic that I will not work with," Gaius paused and closed his eyes. "He wouldn't want me to."
"I will be the one to do it then," Alator said and Arthur realized that whoever this Emrys was he was really important to Alator, important enough for him to use dark magic.
That man was exactly what Arthur needed.
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"We will need a bigger fire." Alator said and Gaius added another branch to the fire, they were in a clearing near a large lake and Arthur wondered what they were doing.
"And now, let us begin." Alator grabbed the bag he brought with him and pulled out a struggling falcon, the tiny hawk scrabbled for freedom before Alator crushed its neck in one swift movement, pulling out a sharp looking dagger.
"What are you doing?" Gaius said, his eyes widening when Alator sliced the bird's neck.
"Wha-"
"In the name of the old religion," Alator's voice boomed across the clearing. "I give you the blood of Emrys's soul!"
Pouring the blood into a large wooden bowl Alator moved on, reaching a bloody hand towards Gaius.
Arthur watched as Gaius handed him a piece of cloth, the cloth seemed familiar enough but Arthur couldn't put his finger on what made it seem so familiar.
"The physical symbol of his flesh!" Alator said again and tossed the cloth into the bowl.
"And now," Gaius took a step closer and presented his hand, palm up towards Alator.
"The yearning of a loved one!" Alator sliced Gaius's palm and allowed the blood to flow into the bowl.
Gaius took a step back as Alator lifted the bowl and poured its contents into the lake.
"Forces of the old religion!" He cried out. "Take our humble sacrifice and give us back the one we seek!"
Arthur held his breathe as the water's surface rippled and glowed before a figure appeared, inch by inch it revealed the figure of an old woman, dressed in robes with her mouth sat in a wicked grin, revealing missing teeth and narrow eyes.
"Alator," she said, her voice dripping with malice. "How dare you try and interfere with fate?"
"It is not I who interfered with fate Calilach!" Alator glared back.
"Emrys was taken from us before his time! His destiny has yet to be completed! The meddling witch-"
"Silence!" The Calilach roared and her figure flew across the water's surface to stand toe to toe with Alator's figure. "I decide when it is a being's time to be taken not anyone else! Destiny's wheels are moving according to the plan now that Emrys is gone, the once and future king is moving on the right path as well as the witch."
She raised one wrinkled finger toward Alator and Gaius. "You shall not interfere or I will make sure you will meet him sooner than expected."
With one last glance towards them she vanished back into the lake, leaving the clearing in pitch black darkness.
Creating a fiery boll Alator lightened the fire again and glared at the flames.
"This is not the end." He said and glanced up at Gaius.
"It is Alator." Gaius said tiredly and Arthur realized that he have never heard the man sound as old as he did now.
"With the Calilach keeping him there, there is no way we will be able to set him free, not to mention bring him back to this world," Gaius swallowed down and stared at the fire.
"This was a pointless attempt as it is," He sighed and sat down. "Merlin would have laughed at me for even trying."
Arthur's eyes widened when he heard Merlin's name. What was Merlin's connection to this sort of things?
"Merlin?" Alator asked, his brows furrowing in confusion.
"My ward." Gaius said and didn't carry on.
"Well," Gaius said briskly as he rose from his seat and stared at Alator. "I guess you will be on your way now?"
Alator rose slowly and glared once again in the direction of the water.
"I'll come back Gaius; I will find a way to bring him back."
Gaius didn't say a word as they collected their things and left the clearing.
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Arthur paced up and down in his room, his mind whirling.
Surely this Calilach being couldn't be guarding all souls?
Merlin was no one from a backwater village who meant nothing when it came to destiny so surely it won't be that much of a problem to bring him back right?
Arthur was more than willing to give away everything he had to get him back.
Taking a deep breath Arthur left his rooms and went to search for Alator.
He found him three hours later, camping near a small river.
Dismounting slowly he approached the man who looked at him wearily.
"Do you know who I am?" Arthur asked; his hand curled against his thigh.
Alator nodded. "Arthur Pendragon, king of Camelot."
"That's right." Arthur said and then stopped; he wasn't sure how to approach the subject.
"What is it you want young Pendragon?" Alator asked, his face betraying nothing.
"I…" Arthur started and then stopped; taking a deep breath he looked Alator in the eyes and let the words pour from his mouth. "I need you to bring someone back."
Alator looked at him for a long moment before he spoke.
"Bring someone back from where king of Camelot?"
"The dead; He died for me and I…" Arthur swallowed down the lump that insisted on lodging itself in his throat. "I need him back."
Alator stared at him before he rose from his place on the ground.
"Do you realize what you are asking for Pendragon? This is magic we are talking about, dark magic, and it won't come without a price."
Arthur nodded; He already knew that. "I know; I'm ready for the consequences."
"Even if they will be the death of a loved one; a member of your family," Alator's voice was grave.
Arthur's eyes narrowed. "Can you do it or not?"
Alator looked taken back before he bowed his head. "What will you offer the old religion in exchange for your friend's life?"
Taking a deep breath Arthur stared at Alator before he answered.
"I shall accept magic back into Camelot, embracing the old religion once more."
Alator's eyes widened and he opened and closed his mouth several times before Arthur lost his patience.
"Look, can you do it or not?"
"I shall do it." Alator said quickly. "Meet me in the sacred cauldron in three days; your court physician will know the way." With that he vanished between the woods, leaving behind a determined Arthur.
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Arthur closed his eyes and waited for the knock on the door, when it came he took a calming breathe before he answered.
"Come in."
"You called for me sire?" Gaius asked; his voice weary.
"Indeed I have," Arthur smiled and gestured for the chair in front of his. "Please, have a seat."
Gaius hesitated for only a moment before sitting down, when he did he looked Arthur straight in the eyes, Arthur allowed it, letting the old man to search for whatever it was he wanted to find.
"Is something wrong sire?"
Arthur allowed a small smile to cross his lips at the sound of worry in the old man's voice.
"Everything is well Gaius; I called you here because there is something I need to know."
Gaius nodded his head and gestured for Arthur to continue.
"You have been a trusted friend to both my father and I," Arthur started as he rose from his seat, preferring to pace as he got the words out.
"But of course sire." Gaius said quickly.
"I do not question your loyalty Gaius, this isn't what I called you here for; I called you here to discuss a matter of grave importance that must remain between the two of us." Arthur stopped pacing and turned to look at Gaius, the old man's expression was completely serious now.
"Anything for you, sir."
Arthur nodded." I need you to tell me the way to the sacred Cauldron."
Gaius's eyes widened and then returned to their normal size and Arthur knew he was about to lie to him.
"If you have any respect for me Gaius you will not lie to me," Arthur said quietly.
"I have seen you and the man Alator and I'm going to use him to get Merlin back."
Gaius's mouth dropped open and he swallowed several times before he found his voice again.
"Sire I-"
"I do not blame you Gaius, nor do I intend to take actions against you. I simply ask for your help, Alator already agreed to assist me."
"Sire, if I may speak freely?"
"You may."
"The old religion isn't a forgiving one sire, the price to bring someone back, even if it were possible is a terrible one, another man's life or worse, are you aware of that?"
"I do, I will tell you what I've told Alator, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get Merlin back."
"Sire this-"
"I plan on allowing magic back into Camelot, embracing the old religion once more if Merlin will return to me." Arthur exposed his last card.
"Please Gaius."
Gaius looked older than ever when Arthur looked at the old man battling with his own mind.
"Have you thought about Merlin Arthur?"
"What?" Arthur took a step back, he didn't expect this argument.
"Have you thought about how Merlin will react should he discover you took the life of another to bring him back?"
"I-"
"He sacrificed his life so that you and Camelot's citizens will remain safe and alive," Gaius emphasized. "And you will dishonor his memory by taking innocent life?"
Arthur's eyes narrowed. "Do you not want him back? I thought you, of all people, will support me! You have fought with my father countless of times on the subject of magic and now that I'm willing to bring it back for Merlin you seek pathetic excuses to dissuade me?" Arthur's voice was rising with every word.
"No sire no; I," Gaius's voice broke a bit and he took a deep breath. "You know that I would give anything to get Merlin back but…Have you taken into consideration the court; your people's reaction? Not only will you be bringing magic back and allowing the old religion to rise again but they will see someone they thought was dead for the last three months! How will they react?"
Arthur closed his eyes and allowed Gaius's reasoning to wash over him, he was right of course, after years of fearing magic and despising the old religion, if Arthur were to allow magic back into the kingdom just like that it will be… But then the thought of the years without Merlin that waited before him crushed upon his mind, filling it with loneliness and unbearable agony. No, he had to try.
"When the time comes the people will accept it all, as for the court, they will handle it," Arthur paused and looked at Gaius again.
"But I have to try Gaius, one last try before I'll admit that he is gone, before I…" Arthur trailed off, the thought of moving on and forgetting unbearable.
Gaius sighed and shook his head.
"I do not believe it will work but, I will tell you where the sacred Cauldron is and for what it's worth, you have my support in court, in everything Arthur."
Arthur smiled; the first real smile in so long as he clasped Gaius's hand.
"Thank you," He whispered, allowing the tears of relief to slide down his cheeks. "Thank you."
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"Are you sure you wish to continue young Pendragon?" Alator asked again, once everything was ready.
"I'm sure." Arthur answered, he was finally going to get Merlin back and nothing would stop him.
"Very well, let us carry on then." Alator reached his hand towards Arthur, asking for the first item.
Arthur pulled out a small kitten, drugged courtesy of Gaius, and handed it over to Alator.
Alator didn't say a word as he sliced the kitten's neck and allowed the blood to pour into a large bowl.
Next came a wooden statute that Arthur handed reluctantly, for some reason he loved that little dragon replica though he had no idea where Merlin got it from.
Alator frowned as he took hold of the statute but didn't say a word, grabbing a sharp dagger he reached for Arthur's hand and made a large cut in his palm.
Making sure the statute was well covered in blood; Alator raised the bowl to the fool moon and called out.
"Triple goddesses hear our call! We have come here to seek for your help!"
Putting the bowl on the water's edge Alator continued.
"The mortal man Merlin son of-" Alator glanced at Arthur who quickly replied.
"Hunith."
"Merlin son of Hunith was taken from us before his time, with this sacrifice we beg for your assistance and ask for his soul to return to the world of the living!"
Arthur waited with pounding heart as nothing happened for few long minutes; he was just about to ask Alator what went wrong when the water's surface started glowing as a white figure rose from it, its gowns floating all around her.
"Who has come seeking my help?" A feminine voice asked and Arthur could feel her gaze upon him.
"Arthur Pendragon, king of Camelot!" Arthur answered, taking a step forward.
"A Pendragon using magic?" The voice mocked. "How unusual," She floated closer to him and looked at him. "Is he really so important to you?"
"He is." Arthur replied immediately.
"Very well, what will you offer me in return for this… service?"
"I will accept magic back into Camelot; embrace the old religion as my own."
"Are you sure about this young king?"
"I am."
"Very well, then it shall be done, you will get your Merlin back, though, I can't say when."
"Wait! What-" Arthur started saying.
"The deal is done." The figure said and vanished, leaving Arthur and Alator alone.
"What the hell?!" Arthur whirled around to glare at Alator but the man looked stunned, staring at the point where the figure vanished from.
"Alator!" Arthur grabbed the man and shook him. "You lied to me! Where is Merlin?!"
"You heard her…" Alator whispered; his eyes still glossy. "You will get him back."
"When?! I want him now!"
"The goddess never lies; you will get him back, someday."
Arthur let the man go, his blood boiling and his head pounding.
"Mark my words Alator," Arthur hissed as he mounted his horse. "If I will not get Merlin back in the next three months you will regret the fact that my father died,"
Alator raised alarmed eyes to stare at Arthur.
"I will make sure to wipe every piece of magic from the face of the land; I will make the great purge look like a pathetic ambush."
"King Arthur-" Alator started but Arthur stopped him.
"Three months, after that you better be running first because I will be coming for you."
With that Arthur rode off, leaving a concerned looking Alator behind and a smirking goddess.