Jul 17, 2005 01:23
so hmm went shopping today it was crazy got some really really cute clothes i am so excited but kinda not i got to make some phone calls to some people omg i shoulndt have done that it made it worse i miss everyone soo much and i talked to someone that made me just wana cry but he said the sweetest things he could ever say... omg i just wanted ot cry i miss him soooo much omg it sucks how bad i miss him i duno i just wanted to sit in the middle of the floor and cry. it might sound stupid to yall but leave all your friends and everythign youve ever known and come somewhere where you know noone and nothing... so ya by talking to all my friends everyones changed not saying i havnt but it seems like everthing has just gone to hell and back i am so just lost not only with them but with myself it sucks i dont really know who i am anymore so much stuff has happend to me and not good either but i mean i am so lost trying to find myself everytime i try to i just fall apart and dont know where to start. i just wish i would wake up and everything would be perfect and that i would still have one of my best friends and that i didnt get addicted and that i didnt hurt from love and that i still hung out with all my best friends and that no one would hate on anybody because there diffrent. i duno i am glad i moved away cause i know i needed to get better but i duno its just so i hard i knew it wouldnt be easy but damn it didnt have to be this hard all alone. well i duno idont feel like talking about that anymore... so i talked to my uncle today that lives in pennsylvania and he wants me to come and stay with him for a little while and i probly am so i am excited. i havnt really be up to much lately; thinking beach and shopping. talked to sean tonight it was an interesting talk it made me laugh alot which was good i needed it hes such a sweetheart.<3 lol anywho i duno been kinda bored i applyed for a job at this mall place down here i probly have the job i hvae to c though i hope so. but i duno i am tired so i am going ot go to sleep now cause i am going ot get up early and hit the beach. woo hoo the only thing keepign me somewhat happy in a way.=) but whatever im out peace.
<333