Monkeys, Backs, Etc.
Hopefully this will mean I update more often, and get my life generally more on track, etc. etc. etc....
But I've cancelled WoW today. This isn't an immediate thing because I still have some time left available, and I'd like to use it to get a few more things done as I wrap up, especially tying up RP storylines, but it's a major step and I feel strangely good about it after trying fairly hard to stay in-game.
Here's why:
1) I'm burned out on most of the 'game' aspects of the game. (Why the heck would I stay then? Well, I still had RP attachments and people I like RPing with who only play there.) Solo PVE, PVP, raiding, you name it, I've done it, and I'm tired of it. The only thing I liked at all at this point was questing in an RP context so that old content looked fresh.
2) The RP "support" is sorely lacking. I'm tired of getting harassed -- on RP servers -- for being a RPer. Nearly every time I RP in public. Public RP is the lifeblood of online gaming and that has been ruthlessly stifled by the lack of any real enforcement of Blizzard's own ToS, which states that harassing RPers on RP servers can get you suspended. I've never actually seen it happen. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. But the hypocrisy has gotten to me; they're perfectly happy to take my dollar while not enforcing their policies. MMOs without "RP servers" at least have a refreshing lack of hypocrisy. More priceless than emeralds? MMOs/online games that actually enforce harassment guidelines of any stripe, RP-related or no. The only one I've run across so far that takes it at all seriously is Puzzle Pirates.
3) The groundswell of interest has moved on. I'm not even sure where, but the RP heydey has passed for years, and it's not coming back. For good or bad, I need to play my "main" in a campaign to maintain interest, and the thriving playgroup that I depended on for her had dwindled tragically over the years. Maybe I would have gotten somewhere trying to revive a small group on my own, but see the first two points; is it really worth it in a game that I'm no longer interested in playing in any way as it's usually played? I'm basically crippled in-game by my desire to clean the toilets before I am willing to solo quest. Why should I ask anyone to put up with that? It just makes it hard for everyone.
What feels really good about this choice:
Ahhhh suddenly there is absolutely no more stress about keeping up my level with the characters who cared about that for whatever reason. (Levels, seriously for the birds. And a real bummer when they lock you out of doing meaningful content with the people you like to play with.)
Ahhhh no more asshats going 'y u rp? lol'
Ahhhh no more wondering if I can make it work *enough* to limp along month by month, but feeling ground down and impatient and flustered every month, like I have to work twice as hard for the same amount of good RP I'd get in a campaign set in a world that is REASONABLE for roleplaying instead of where it's tacked on as a rude afterthought. (And yes, I'm silly for ever thinking I could, but it was good while it worked, and even in the last few months I've had some damn good RP; in tying off plot threads I will even get a little more and satisfying closure as well.)
What's next:
Tying off loose ends and plotlines. The most interesting piece of this is an IC run of Black Temple. I'd like to get my 59 druid to 60 so I can see flight form for my very own self. I have a handful of characters still in active play that I want to write out or put into holding patterns suitable to their natures. I should hand out crafting stuff, and I need to turn guild leadership back over.
Getting back on the wagon with food and exercise and sleep. I've started that with food; I'm measuring food again (dammit, I hate measuring food, but I seem to need pretty strict proportions or I'm sick and exhausted all the time. Or maybe WoW made me sick and exhausted all the time. Not-so-brilliantly, circumstances are making me combine the two in such a way that I'll probably never know what was making me sick, though I know for a stone cold fact that hitting bad stressors makes me sick. I'll start trying to post updates again on that to keep myself honest. What have I been for the last few months? Completely off the wagon on most of my hard-won good habits. And getting steadily sicker. Surprise, surprise. Less stir-crazy though; one thing I learned in the two GOOD months was I will go nuts without some socially creative endeavor. I don't have a guaranteed-I'll-do-well-with-it place to go and game and that worries me, especially since I'm pretty fussy and explode under stress (that leaves out LARPing, ha ha ha.) I want to get back into old school gaming if possible, but that's not very plausible if I'm not well enough to drive or meet schedules. So let's work on that first.
Gaming endeavors: Probably something that is NOT RP oriented, done with Brad and treated like TV. Social in a way but more focused on couple time. Exploration and achievement. We'll see how that works. I'm thinking LOTRO since it's a big gorgeous world with lots of pretty things, pretty questing, and pretty lore. Hopefully we won't get roadblocked by trying to do the main questline as a duo; I hear there are group-required elements. (Blah. Someday MMOs will learn that while it's nice to get better rewards for grouping, forcing us to group in order to see new content/lore only makes us really surly. Yes, it's a social game, but people we don't know are often jerks. That's why we hate forced grouping. Do I sound burned out? Yes, yes, I do. But it may be easier to take jerks if I can treat it like a commercial, turn off the 'tv', stop what I'm doing, and go watch real TV -- it doesn't discommode ANYONE since Brad will be right there with me on it and I'm not stopping play, just hitting pause.)
(Tihs post brought to you by Insomnia and the letter R.)
But I've cancelled WoW today. This isn't an immediate thing because I still have some time left available, and I'd like to use it to get a few more things done as I wrap up, especially tying up RP storylines, but it's a major step and I feel strangely good about it after trying fairly hard to stay in-game.
Here's why:
1) I'm burned out on most of the 'game' aspects of the game. (Why the heck would I stay then? Well, I still had RP attachments and people I like RPing with who only play there.) Solo PVE, PVP, raiding, you name it, I've done it, and I'm tired of it. The only thing I liked at all at this point was questing in an RP context so that old content looked fresh.
2) The RP "support" is sorely lacking. I'm tired of getting harassed -- on RP servers -- for being a RPer. Nearly every time I RP in public. Public RP is the lifeblood of online gaming and that has been ruthlessly stifled by the lack of any real enforcement of Blizzard's own ToS, which states that harassing RPers on RP servers can get you suspended. I've never actually seen it happen. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. But the hypocrisy has gotten to me; they're perfectly happy to take my dollar while not enforcing their policies. MMOs without "RP servers" at least have a refreshing lack of hypocrisy. More priceless than emeralds? MMOs/online games that actually enforce harassment guidelines of any stripe, RP-related or no. The only one I've run across so far that takes it at all seriously is Puzzle Pirates.
3) The groundswell of interest has moved on. I'm not even sure where, but the RP heydey has passed for years, and it's not coming back. For good or bad, I need to play my "main" in a campaign to maintain interest, and the thriving playgroup that I depended on for her had dwindled tragically over the years. Maybe I would have gotten somewhere trying to revive a small group on my own, but see the first two points; is it really worth it in a game that I'm no longer interested in playing in any way as it's usually played? I'm basically crippled in-game by my desire to clean the toilets before I am willing to solo quest. Why should I ask anyone to put up with that? It just makes it hard for everyone.
What feels really good about this choice:
Ahhhh suddenly there is absolutely no more stress about keeping up my level with the characters who cared about that for whatever reason. (Levels, seriously for the birds. And a real bummer when they lock you out of doing meaningful content with the people you like to play with.)
Ahhhh no more asshats going 'y u rp? lol'
Ahhhh no more wondering if I can make it work *enough* to limp along month by month, but feeling ground down and impatient and flustered every month, like I have to work twice as hard for the same amount of good RP I'd get in a campaign set in a world that is REASONABLE for roleplaying instead of where it's tacked on as a rude afterthought. (And yes, I'm silly for ever thinking I could, but it was good while it worked, and even in the last few months I've had some damn good RP; in tying off plot threads I will even get a little more and satisfying closure as well.)
What's next:
Tying off loose ends and plotlines. The most interesting piece of this is an IC run of Black Temple. I'd like to get my 59 druid to 60 so I can see flight form for my very own self. I have a handful of characters still in active play that I want to write out or put into holding patterns suitable to their natures. I should hand out crafting stuff, and I need to turn guild leadership back over.
Getting back on the wagon with food and exercise and sleep. I've started that with food; I'm measuring food again (dammit, I hate measuring food, but I seem to need pretty strict proportions or I'm sick and exhausted all the time. Or maybe WoW made me sick and exhausted all the time. Not-so-brilliantly, circumstances are making me combine the two in such a way that I'll probably never know what was making me sick, though I know for a stone cold fact that hitting bad stressors makes me sick. I'll start trying to post updates again on that to keep myself honest. What have I been for the last few months? Completely off the wagon on most of my hard-won good habits. And getting steadily sicker. Surprise, surprise. Less stir-crazy though; one thing I learned in the two GOOD months was I will go nuts without some socially creative endeavor. I don't have a guaranteed-I'll-do-well-with-it place to go and game and that worries me, especially since I'm pretty fussy and explode under stress (that leaves out LARPing, ha ha ha.) I want to get back into old school gaming if possible, but that's not very plausible if I'm not well enough to drive or meet schedules. So let's work on that first.
Gaming endeavors: Probably something that is NOT RP oriented, done with Brad and treated like TV. Social in a way but more focused on couple time. Exploration and achievement. We'll see how that works. I'm thinking LOTRO since it's a big gorgeous world with lots of pretty things, pretty questing, and pretty lore. Hopefully we won't get roadblocked by trying to do the main questline as a duo; I hear there are group-required elements. (Blah. Someday MMOs will learn that while it's nice to get better rewards for grouping, forcing us to group in order to see new content/lore only makes us really surly. Yes, it's a social game, but people we don't know are often jerks. That's why we hate forced grouping. Do I sound burned out? Yes, yes, I do. But it may be easier to take jerks if I can treat it like a commercial, turn off the 'tv', stop what I'm doing, and go watch real TV -- it doesn't discommode ANYONE since Brad will be right there with me on it and I'm not stopping play, just hitting pause.)
(Tihs post brought to you by Insomnia and the letter R.)