Firstly I just have that I love how you write Katie. I’m sure I said this to you after the first chapter, but it really needs to be said again. You nail her character perfectly with what she says and how she reacts. Gah, I just love Katie so damn much♥
Katie and Naomi’s banter when they’re being kind of friendly=♥
Katie and Naomi’s banter when they’re arguing=♥
Emily is so lovely in this, that it does make me incredibly curious to see just how it all falls apart slowly? Or maybe explodes? Either way I’m very excited to see what’ll happen.
The next time she encountered Naomi, when she handed over custody of Emily after a shopping trip... - This literally made me lol irl. I can just imagine Katie begrudgingly passing Emily’s hand over to Naomi’s like they’re her divorced parents or something.
I also really love how you’ve shown they way that the twins relationship has begun to heal itself and improve. I like that that all three of them appear to be trying and as a result it makes things better between all of them as a group and individually.
It was comforting, to feel the heat of her, when Katie’s own body felt hot and cold, and to hear her murmuring calming ‘you’re okay’s and reminding Katie to breathe. And she did, then, firmly rooted to reality by Naomi’s hands. Keeping her sane, keeping her safe. - I like this idea of Naomi being the one to unexpectedly have the ability to ground her and stop her from just loosing it all together after that very first contact with Effy. There’s something about the way the gesture between them was so simple and yet so much, that really got me.
It was the eyes. Naomi’s eyes just couldn’t lie, even when she succeeded so well with words. - Just stunning♥
The thought of, like, sitting in her expensive River Island skirt in their hippie hovel made Katie unreasonably panicky, but once Emily explained that they were actually clean and not putting up any random tosser that stumbled by, she figured ‘what the fuck?’ but slipped some hand sanitizer into her bag anyway. - Again, this made me lol irl. It’s just something I can imagine Katie thinking :)
I think you’ve created the perfect setup between Katie and Naomi. You can see the inner workings of Katie’s mind shifting whenever something happens with Naomi to throw her slightly off balance. There’s a palpable tension sitting just under the surface between them, and it’s really interesting seeing them both becoming slightly aware that something isn’t quite as it used to be.
Basically this is like my favourite fic at the moment! You have a lovely writing style, and I actually like Coheed & Cambria, and thing the album works well :)
Ah man - not long and rambley at all! Thank you soooo much for your concise and detailed comments :) I'm definitely glad a few parts made you laugh - Katie makes me laugh so it's only right that some of that comes through here when possible!
There's something about the dynamic between the three of them where it works when they have their roles but, when one of them starts to change, the others have to change with them. So, by Emily forcing them all to get along, she's making Naomi and Katie change, and I'm not sure she's particularly going to like the consequences of this, later...
I don't think Katie and Naomi have ever been particularly brilliant at articulating how they feel, especially when they're just beginning to feel something, so, I agree! It'll be interesting to see what happens when they start to become aware.
Thanks again so much for your comments! And for reading :) And for liking Coheed ;)
Katie and Naomi’s banter when they’re being kind of friendly=♥
Katie and Naomi’s banter when they’re arguing=♥
Emily is so lovely in this, that it does make me incredibly curious to see just how it all falls apart slowly? Or maybe explodes? Either way I’m very excited to see what’ll happen.
The next time she encountered Naomi, when she handed over custody of Emily after a shopping trip... - This literally made me lol irl. I can just imagine Katie begrudgingly passing Emily’s hand over to Naomi’s like they’re her divorced parents or something.
I also really love how you’ve shown they way that the twins relationship has begun to heal itself and improve. I like that that all three of them appear to be trying and as a result it makes things better between all of them as a group and individually.
It was comforting, to feel the heat of her, when Katie’s own body felt hot and cold, and to hear her murmuring calming ‘you’re okay’s and reminding Katie to breathe. And she did, then, firmly rooted to reality by Naomi’s hands. Keeping her sane, keeping her safe. - I like this idea of Naomi being the one to unexpectedly have the ability to ground her and stop her from just loosing it all together after that very first contact with Effy. There’s something about the way the gesture between them was so simple and yet so much, that really got me.
It was the eyes. Naomi’s eyes just couldn’t lie, even when she succeeded so well with words. - Just stunning♥
The thought of, like, sitting in her expensive River Island skirt in their hippie hovel made Katie unreasonably panicky, but once Emily explained that they were actually clean and not putting up any random tosser that stumbled by, she figured ‘what the fuck?’ but slipped some hand sanitizer into her bag anyway. - Again, this made me lol irl. It’s just something I can imagine Katie thinking :)
I think you’ve created the perfect setup between Katie and Naomi. You can see the inner workings of Katie’s mind shifting whenever something happens with Naomi to throw her slightly off balance. There’s a palpable tension sitting just under the surface between them, and it’s really interesting seeing them both becoming slightly aware that something isn’t quite as it used to be.
Basically this is like my favourite fic at the moment! You have a lovely writing style, and I actually like Coheed & Cambria, and thing the album works well :)
(Sorry that this is long and rambley!)
Really looking forward to the next part!
♥
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There's something about the dynamic between the three of them where it works when they have their roles but, when one of them starts to change, the others have to change with them. So, by Emily forcing them all to get along, she's making Naomi and Katie change, and I'm not sure she's particularly going to like the consequences of this, later...
I don't think Katie and Naomi have ever been particularly brilliant at articulating how they feel, especially when they're just beginning to feel something, so, I agree! It'll be interesting to see what happens when they start to become aware.
Thanks again so much for your comments! And for reading :) And for liking Coheed ;)
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