It Is Something I Was Not

[flirtingwiththe]

I am looking out on the gray day. It is a sulky cold day where the wind nips at your skin and bites at bones. It is a day where I could curl up in a little ball on my bed. In my bed I would dream the entire day away. It would feel good and maybe it would feel better if I cried a little bit.

Not so much because I am depressed in any way or form, but because I feel like I should be out doing something or having some sort of fun somewhere.

Mitch came yesterday. He arrived by train. He came in, offering a smile and a nice warm hug. I am so glad that he came. I am so glad that I got to meet him in person. I am so glad that I met him. Face to face. So glad. I just feel extrememly tragic now that he is gone. He left by train about an hour ago.

We said out goodbyes and then he got on the train go away from me. To go back to Chicago. To then go back to Florida.

I heard the train give out its searching whistle, its cry of departure and I felt my eyes well up with tears. I held it in until I got here, to the school.

Now, I am sure that my mascara is running. I'm sure I look rather silly, Sitting here and crying. I am sure.

I don't have anyone to share this day with. I did earlier... and that was the best ever... but this is an awfully bitter alone I am feeling now.

Life is funny, but I am not laughing.

Here's to another year: Happy Birthday, Alicia.