updating on mylife..... its been a while
oh man its been a long long time since i've written in this crazy thing....... But Caitlin gave me the idea again.. lol..
Well my life has been kinda crazy since my last update.. After i got back from Arizona Ryan got me pregnant.. My family decided that they weren't moving to Arizona. And me and Ryan were doing pretty good.. Then things got kinda crazy. I didn't find out i was pregnant until i almost 4 months pregnant. Graduation was right around the corner and I still haven't told a few people that I was pregnant. I was way too scared and nervous. My mom was the first one to know that I was pregnant and then a few other people. Then I broke the news to ryan.. He was excited at first but also scared. And i guess i felt the same way. Then we ended up telling his parents.. And man o man were we scared.. That seriously had to of been one of the scariest things i have ever had to do in my life.. At least i thought so at the time. Well a few days later my mom told me that she wasn't going to tell my dad . She was going to make me tell my dad. I had already been stressed out enough with telling my mom, ryan, and his parents then they wanted me to tell my dad.. >>>>>>>>>>>> it was nuts.. I didnt end up telling him until after i graduated. lol i wasn't gonna be like hey dad.. I finally freaking graduated from high school and guess what........ UR A GRANDPA////.. lol. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.. But dont get me wrong.. He wasn't happy.. My parents and Ryans parents suggested Abortion and Adoption.. But honestly I don't have the heart to do that.. U have to man up to the things you do and sometimes theres some hard things and some hard decisions to make in life. But Abortion and Adoption really werent an option to me. Theres no way i could give up my baby. I always wanted kids and it couldnt have turned out any better.
It was hard being pregnant and i got looked at in many different ways and i got treated differently. Some people looked down on me.. some people praised me.. It was just very emotional and stressfull at times.. Me n my parents were constantly at each others throats about me being so young.. and not knowing what im gonna do with my life.. n me n ryan were on and off throughout the whole thing .. It was hard.. But I had plenty of people to help me throughout the whole thing and man o man I thank them so much for it becuase i dont know what i would have done with out them ..
Caitlin and her mom especially.. They serisouly were there for me through the whole thing.. I mean Every little thing.. Every insecurity i went thru every little scare .. every doctors appointment they would call me right after n see how me and the baby were.. Every time ryan and i were fighting they were there to help me through it.. Seriously i dont know what i would have dont with out them..
Caitlin and i have gotten alot closer when i was pregnant.. She had gotten me a job while i was pregnant and we seen eachother almost everyday.. She was just great.. lol She made fun of me a lot but hey.. i'd make fun of me too if i was here.. I was kinda gassy... lol.. but al pregnant women are...
When ryan couldn't stay with me n hold me thru the night.. Caitlin would seriously be at my door to be by my side.. I serisouly could cry just thinking aobut how great she was iwth me when i was pregnant.. She took me in at her house when my parents were at ends iwth me... Shes just perfect to me.. and so is her mom.. I dont know how many things they done for me.. Her mom made my son a beautiful quilt. she gave it to me at my baby shower .. n i seriously fell in love with it..It means so much to me and i know it will to my son..She put a lot of effort into it and it means so much.. I seriously cant have it hung up on the wall in the bedroom for Kaden. Its just too precious.. And i love it.. And i love him..I couldn't thank them enough for being part of my family.. I love you guys..
Ryan and i were on and off throughout my pregnancy,. But it was tough. I was very insecure and afraid for myself and him.. And also my son. Neither Ryan or I wanted to grow up and it just sucked ass that he could go out and drink n have a good time.. and i couldn't becuase i was fat n pregnant .. lol.. we had plenty of fights.. And i was just so afraid that he would jsut leave me and our son.. One week ryan would be so perfect and the next he would be scared shitless.. and it would just make me so nervous.. n i would push him away n push him away.. Then the doctor scheduled an ultra sound appointment for me.. and ryan went with me.. n once we seen out baby boy on that monitor..Man i just melted.. I'm not gonna lie.. We dropped a few tears.. It was just beautiful.. I was growing a baby boy inside of me.. Ryans son... It was just beautiful.. After that we knew that he was healthy and that he wsa a boy and we just couldn't wait for the big day.. We still had our fights.. but we stayed strong.. and eventually the big day came.. and i was in the car on the way to the hospital.. We got to the hospital, both of us were scared out of our minds.. we didn't know what to expect or think.. but we made it to the hospital.. lol..
we made a few phone calls.. so did my mom.. and the next thing i knew i was in the labor and delivery room.. n people are comming n visiting me.. n the doctor broke my water n hooked me up to a bunch of crap.. lol.. n let me tell u.. i was pretty damn high.. but my family was there, ryans family was there, caitlin and here mom were that.. O it was great.. a little while later im sitting there and there telling me there all going to lunch... n im like umm no ur not its time.. so i started pushing.. n pushing.. ryan was sitting there by my side holding my hand thru the whole thing..n then next thing i knew,i uld see my sons head.. yeah.. my son had hair... it was beautiful.. lol
then the next thing i knew Kaden Michael Boase was in mine and Ryans arms.. I couldnt help but cry.. It was beautiful.. All happy tears.. My mom shed some tears also.. along with ryan.. it was just beautiful.. Then my parents sister and brother came in to see my son and so did ryans parents n sister and Caitlin.. They were all there throughout everything.. And all love my son as much as i do..He is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.. He is the best gift anyone could have ever given to me and I thank Ryan for giving me a great son.. Hes our baby.. OUR BABY.. u hear that .. lol.. Me and ryan have a baby.. I'm finally a mommy..My biggest dream has come true and i will do my best to be the best mommy i can..I love my son..
After Kaden was born ryan got a little nervous and so did i .. And we kind of pushed each other awaY.. bUT we came back to each other.. I love him more than anything and i know he loves me too.. And he is just great to his son.. Hes so cute with him.. and he cares about him so so much...
Well my life was just going to perfect.. it seemed like it was too good to be true.. and i guess it is..
Last week my dad comes home and tells all of us that they are going to have to move to chacigo.. Because they gave him an offer and hes going to lose his job here.. So I'm like stuck..My family is up and moving.. but at the same time.. i created a family of my own.. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??????
Its only a 4hour drive right.. So me and ryan and our son are planning on staying here... And we are eventually get a house or something.. Were trying to work and save money so we can move out and keep our little family together..
Well the next thing i know.. I come home and my parents are telling me that there moving to texas now..FUCKING TEXAS.. thats a little far.. ok its like a 4 hr plane ride.. its too far.. I cant jsut drive there when i miss then.. i cant just up and fly there when i miss them.. I mean im sure i will every now and then.. but its a little too expencive for me to see them as much as i'd like..
I just dont know what to do.. I"m scared and nervous at the same time.. I want to go with my parents.. But yet i cant leave my family.. i cant leave my ryan. it would be just to hard.. We already started a family of our own.. and im almost 20.. i just need to and have to be with ryan.. We will eventually get married.. but i dunno.. things are a bit crazy..
But at least i have people to help my through everything and make me smile..
I LOVE MY FRIENDS AND MY FAMILYS
*~*Nikki*~*
Well my life has been kinda crazy since my last update.. After i got back from Arizona Ryan got me pregnant.. My family decided that they weren't moving to Arizona. And me and Ryan were doing pretty good.. Then things got kinda crazy. I didn't find out i was pregnant until i almost 4 months pregnant. Graduation was right around the corner and I still haven't told a few people that I was pregnant. I was way too scared and nervous. My mom was the first one to know that I was pregnant and then a few other people. Then I broke the news to ryan.. He was excited at first but also scared. And i guess i felt the same way. Then we ended up telling his parents.. And man o man were we scared.. That seriously had to of been one of the scariest things i have ever had to do in my life.. At least i thought so at the time. Well a few days later my mom told me that she wasn't going to tell my dad . She was going to make me tell my dad. I had already been stressed out enough with telling my mom, ryan, and his parents then they wanted me to tell my dad.. >>>>>>>>>>>> it was nuts.. I didnt end up telling him until after i graduated. lol i wasn't gonna be like hey dad.. I finally freaking graduated from high school and guess what........ UR A GRANDPA////.. lol. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.. But dont get me wrong.. He wasn't happy.. My parents and Ryans parents suggested Abortion and Adoption.. But honestly I don't have the heart to do that.. U have to man up to the things you do and sometimes theres some hard things and some hard decisions to make in life. But Abortion and Adoption really werent an option to me. Theres no way i could give up my baby. I always wanted kids and it couldnt have turned out any better.
It was hard being pregnant and i got looked at in many different ways and i got treated differently. Some people looked down on me.. some people praised me.. It was just very emotional and stressfull at times.. Me n my parents were constantly at each others throats about me being so young.. and not knowing what im gonna do with my life.. n me n ryan were on and off throughout the whole thing .. It was hard.. But I had plenty of people to help me throughout the whole thing and man o man I thank them so much for it becuase i dont know what i would have done with out them ..
Caitlin and her mom especially.. They serisouly were there for me through the whole thing.. I mean Every little thing.. Every insecurity i went thru every little scare .. every doctors appointment they would call me right after n see how me and the baby were.. Every time ryan and i were fighting they were there to help me through it.. Seriously i dont know what i would have dont with out them..
Caitlin and i have gotten alot closer when i was pregnant.. She had gotten me a job while i was pregnant and we seen eachother almost everyday.. She was just great.. lol She made fun of me a lot but hey.. i'd make fun of me too if i was here.. I was kinda gassy... lol.. but al pregnant women are...
When ryan couldn't stay with me n hold me thru the night.. Caitlin would seriously be at my door to be by my side.. I serisouly could cry just thinking aobut how great she was iwth me when i was pregnant.. She took me in at her house when my parents were at ends iwth me... Shes just perfect to me.. and so is her mom.. I dont know how many things they done for me.. Her mom made my son a beautiful quilt. she gave it to me at my baby shower .. n i seriously fell in love with it..It means so much to me and i know it will to my son..She put a lot of effort into it and it means so much.. I seriously cant have it hung up on the wall in the bedroom for Kaden. Its just too precious.. And i love it.. And i love him..I couldn't thank them enough for being part of my family.. I love you guys..
Ryan and i were on and off throughout my pregnancy,. But it was tough. I was very insecure and afraid for myself and him.. And also my son. Neither Ryan or I wanted to grow up and it just sucked ass that he could go out and drink n have a good time.. and i couldn't becuase i was fat n pregnant .. lol.. we had plenty of fights.. And i was just so afraid that he would jsut leave me and our son.. One week ryan would be so perfect and the next he would be scared shitless.. and it would just make me so nervous.. n i would push him away n push him away.. Then the doctor scheduled an ultra sound appointment for me.. and ryan went with me.. n once we seen out baby boy on that monitor..Man i just melted.. I'm not gonna lie.. We dropped a few tears.. It was just beautiful.. I was growing a baby boy inside of me.. Ryans son... It was just beautiful.. After that we knew that he was healthy and that he wsa a boy and we just couldn't wait for the big day.. We still had our fights.. but we stayed strong.. and eventually the big day came.. and i was in the car on the way to the hospital.. We got to the hospital, both of us were scared out of our minds.. we didn't know what to expect or think.. but we made it to the hospital.. lol..
we made a few phone calls.. so did my mom.. and the next thing i knew i was in the labor and delivery room.. n people are comming n visiting me.. n the doctor broke my water n hooked me up to a bunch of crap.. lol.. n let me tell u.. i was pretty damn high.. but my family was there, ryans family was there, caitlin and here mom were that.. O it was great.. a little while later im sitting there and there telling me there all going to lunch... n im like umm no ur not its time.. so i started pushing.. n pushing.. ryan was sitting there by my side holding my hand thru the whole thing..n then next thing i knew,i uld see my sons head.. yeah.. my son had hair... it was beautiful.. lol
then the next thing i knew Kaden Michael Boase was in mine and Ryans arms.. I couldnt help but cry.. It was beautiful.. All happy tears.. My mom shed some tears also.. along with ryan.. it was just beautiful.. Then my parents sister and brother came in to see my son and so did ryans parents n sister and Caitlin.. They were all there throughout everything.. And all love my son as much as i do..He is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.. He is the best gift anyone could have ever given to me and I thank Ryan for giving me a great son.. Hes our baby.. OUR BABY.. u hear that .. lol.. Me and ryan have a baby.. I'm finally a mommy..My biggest dream has come true and i will do my best to be the best mommy i can..I love my son..
After Kaden was born ryan got a little nervous and so did i .. And we kind of pushed each other awaY.. bUT we came back to each other.. I love him more than anything and i know he loves me too.. And he is just great to his son.. Hes so cute with him.. and he cares about him so so much...
Well my life was just going to perfect.. it seemed like it was too good to be true.. and i guess it is..
Last week my dad comes home and tells all of us that they are going to have to move to chacigo.. Because they gave him an offer and hes going to lose his job here.. So I'm like stuck..My family is up and moving.. but at the same time.. i created a family of my own.. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??????
Its only a 4hour drive right.. So me and ryan and our son are planning on staying here... And we are eventually get a house or something.. Were trying to work and save money so we can move out and keep our little family together..
Well the next thing i know.. I come home and my parents are telling me that there moving to texas now..FUCKING TEXAS.. thats a little far.. ok its like a 4 hr plane ride.. its too far.. I cant jsut drive there when i miss then.. i cant just up and fly there when i miss them.. I mean im sure i will every now and then.. but its a little too expencive for me to see them as much as i'd like..
I just dont know what to do.. I"m scared and nervous at the same time.. I want to go with my parents.. But yet i cant leave my family.. i cant leave my ryan. it would be just to hard.. We already started a family of our own.. and im almost 20.. i just need to and have to be with ryan.. We will eventually get married.. but i dunno.. things are a bit crazy..
But at least i have people to help my through everything and make me smile..
I LOVE MY FRIENDS AND MY FAMILYS
*~*Nikki*~*