Back Peddling
Have you ever missed your past self? I just thumbed through some of my old writings and I find myself missing myself. Some aspects of me were pushed into the background of this noisy chorus, drowned out by drums and expectations.
I miss the abstracts. I feel flat right now, like this goal of the future (whatever that turns out to be) is stifling any expansion of the mind. I want to argue about stuff that I haven't even begun to wrap my mind around, I want to be devil's advocate, I want to get out of this tunnel.
I have many regrets, the largest being that I let people slip away while I was slipping away myself. I'm wondering why some of the choices I've made in the past year slipped through my own mental filter and became reality.
I just what I miss most is hope. It's not that I feel hopeless, I just don't feel hope-full.
I think I'm too easily bored which usually results in me hurting people. I don't want to do that this time...I'm just not sure how to avoid it.
You know when you recognize that something isn't right? It would be great to know what that something is...
Help.
I miss the abstracts. I feel flat right now, like this goal of the future (whatever that turns out to be) is stifling any expansion of the mind. I want to argue about stuff that I haven't even begun to wrap my mind around, I want to be devil's advocate, I want to get out of this tunnel.
I have many regrets, the largest being that I let people slip away while I was slipping away myself. I'm wondering why some of the choices I've made in the past year slipped through my own mental filter and became reality.
I just what I miss most is hope. It's not that I feel hopeless, I just don't feel hope-full.
I think I'm too easily bored which usually results in me hurting people. I don't want to do that this time...I'm just not sure how to avoid it.
You know when you recognize that something isn't right? It would be great to know what that something is...
Help.