(no subject)
I would Kill...
to watch movies at 5 am with you, even bad ones
To sleep naked next to you
to make you a vegetarian breakfast. (bacon is still in the freezer)
to ride the bus with you
to buy groceries with you
to bury my face in your beard
to draw you in the shower
to relive our time in Los Angeles
to move someplace warm together. Finally.
to learn a foreign language together.
to hold you, kiss you, go down on you, even when Im half asleep
to get drunk in a theatre
to fix your car, ride shotgun, head out the window
to trap you in a story
to read to you
to make absurd, obscure references that only we get
to let you pinch and tickle and bite me without complaining so much
to rewrite the phonebook for you
to photograph tarot ann arbor with you
to build us a darkroom
to listen to elliot smith and bright eyes and sob uncontrollably in your arms
to play you the new things ive heard
to take you to the new places Ive been
to play games with you finally, (It turns out I quite like pool, for instance)
to prove to you that I broke my shopping addiction
to have lingered in bed with you instead of going to the gym
to have said "fuck off, you aren't MJ" to boys who tried to seduce me
to take classes together like we used to
to be first in line at your first book signing
to buy you a lemon cookie
to smell your cloves
to have thanksgiving just us again as your inuit girlfriend
to build a snowman in the center of the lake with you
to sit in the highest room in that skyscraper with you
to be caught by the cops while having sex with you in the parking structure
to dance with you
to look after you when you drink the whole vial
to weld that cladagh to my finger, crowned heart facing me
I want to redo everything. Pretend we're meeting again for the first time. Do the same things, watch the same things, hear the same things with you a million times over until one of us dies. And I really want to see what can come next if we work it out, because there is still so much we havent experienced together. There are billions of people, collections of sensory organs walking around and existing haplessly. And I'm just like them without you. You're the eyes and hands and ears and mouth and mind that all those things of mine are half as good without. No one else is right. Observing life with other people is like wearing glasses with dirty lenses. Seeing everything through you was beautiful, even if tinted by sadness. Even you hating me is better than anyone else liking me. Forgive me for wanting to make sure of that for the first time ever. For trying to do the right thing for our future as best friends who would never hide anything from eachother again. MJ, I didn't think I had to say it so much, because I believed you saw it inside me even during the worst times. I love you. You're my home. I went on vacation and someone else moved in, but I am NOT ready to move out. I LOVE YOU. More than anyone. I won't let go because I know you hurt, but I also know that you feel the same for me.
to watch movies at 5 am with you, even bad ones
To sleep naked next to you
to make you a vegetarian breakfast. (bacon is still in the freezer)
to ride the bus with you
to buy groceries with you
to bury my face in your beard
to draw you in the shower
to relive our time in Los Angeles
to move someplace warm together. Finally.
to learn a foreign language together.
to hold you, kiss you, go down on you, even when Im half asleep
to get drunk in a theatre
to fix your car, ride shotgun, head out the window
to trap you in a story
to read to you
to make absurd, obscure references that only we get
to let you pinch and tickle and bite me without complaining so much
to rewrite the phonebook for you
to photograph tarot ann arbor with you
to build us a darkroom
to listen to elliot smith and bright eyes and sob uncontrollably in your arms
to play you the new things ive heard
to take you to the new places Ive been
to play games with you finally, (It turns out I quite like pool, for instance)
to prove to you that I broke my shopping addiction
to have lingered in bed with you instead of going to the gym
to have said "fuck off, you aren't MJ" to boys who tried to seduce me
to take classes together like we used to
to be first in line at your first book signing
to buy you a lemon cookie
to smell your cloves
to have thanksgiving just us again as your inuit girlfriend
to build a snowman in the center of the lake with you
to sit in the highest room in that skyscraper with you
to be caught by the cops while having sex with you in the parking structure
to dance with you
to look after you when you drink the whole vial
to weld that cladagh to my finger, crowned heart facing me
I want to redo everything. Pretend we're meeting again for the first time. Do the same things, watch the same things, hear the same things with you a million times over until one of us dies. And I really want to see what can come next if we work it out, because there is still so much we havent experienced together. There are billions of people, collections of sensory organs walking around and existing haplessly. And I'm just like them without you. You're the eyes and hands and ears and mouth and mind that all those things of mine are half as good without. No one else is right. Observing life with other people is like wearing glasses with dirty lenses. Seeing everything through you was beautiful, even if tinted by sadness. Even you hating me is better than anyone else liking me. Forgive me for wanting to make sure of that for the first time ever. For trying to do the right thing for our future as best friends who would never hide anything from eachother again. MJ, I didn't think I had to say it so much, because I believed you saw it inside me even during the worst times. I love you. You're my home. I went on vacation and someone else moved in, but I am NOT ready to move out. I LOVE YOU. More than anyone. I won't let go because I know you hurt, but I also know that you feel the same for me.