Own it
I shouldve been a better friend? I gave you 10,000 dollars and pretended it wasnt hard just to spare your feelings. I wanted to meet people. You know why? IM 22 AND HAVENT DATED ANYONE ELSE! AND i WAS STILL PREPARED TO GET THAT OUT OF MY SYSTEM AFTER ONLY A MONTH! YOU PROMISED NOT TO FALL IN LOVE, AND SO DID I. i TRUSTED YOU. IVE BEEN WITH YOU THROUGH EVERYTHING. Do you remember what you said? That you would get your life together, learn to be self sufficient, and then call me? I believed that you could stop being weak, needing others to coddle you. She wont be there for long, but I will, like Ive always been. You were just too insecure to realize it. Otherwise, you would have told me and not waited for me to find out. Like you said, you couldn't bare for me to get over you, thats why you wouldnt tell me.
I believe that you are weak. You dont love her. You just need a warm body. I asked if you love her, you have no answer. Talk to me now. Ive always been there, I just needed time to miss you so that I would never hurt you again. I was facing a lifetime of exclusive love and needed time to be 100% sure. I'm sorry that hurt you. You just didnt understand because you have had other relationships and I haven't. I trusted that we could both be seperate for a bit and still end up together. my god, I was so wrong to believe we could survive anything. I took a leap of faith to make things better in the long run, and I plummeted.
Stay with her for as long as you need. There will be problems. I believe we could have worked through things, and we still can. We were born to last together, you know that. Think back. Remember us. It will take a lifetime to replace all that. I know you miss me. I know you look into her eyes and wish she was me, but she never will be. You think I only want you because I cant have you. You're wrong. I believe you still want me, and I know I wanted you before, regardless of my need for a break. How could I not want a break? I provided for you and you still tried to have sex with nicole. I forgive you for everything, why wont you forgive me? Growing up is hard, but I did it with you. I can keep growing old with you. She is not the one. I know what its like when someone has affection for you and it hurts to tell them that they arent right. But you've convinced me before and I sucked it up and said sorry, but I have a real love. Ive said, "__, I think you're a good guy, but I love my michael, and Ive made a terrible mistake, and my first priority is him. Always." I pray that anyone else who cares for me forgets me, because its a mistake. My heart is with you. If ive ever wanted to leave its been to fix things for me AND you. I wanted us to come back stronger. I wanted to fix the sex, and the resentment, the doubts, by missing you and proving it to myself that I always would. And I do, however brave I try to be and act.
Come back. You asked me to only two weeks ago if you could. Do you know why I said no? Because I needed my sadness to feel real again. I didnt want to give in out of that sadness. I wanted a moment to remember you without our problems and miss you. I wanted you to miss me without needing me to spell my love out for you for the millionth time in 6 years. You know its there. The best thing in the world for us is us. I'm waiting. Don't be fooled by momentary comfort. It wont kill her to let her go. But I'm dying here. I'm here. The crayon is still in the shower. The photos are everywhere. I dont want new songs half as much as our old ones. No one else is allowed into our memories, our places, our jokes. I dont want to watch them disappear. But theyll have to if you wont love me as a lover, because I cant stand it.
I believe that you are weak. You dont love her. You just need a warm body. I asked if you love her, you have no answer. Talk to me now. Ive always been there, I just needed time to miss you so that I would never hurt you again. I was facing a lifetime of exclusive love and needed time to be 100% sure. I'm sorry that hurt you. You just didnt understand because you have had other relationships and I haven't. I trusted that we could both be seperate for a bit and still end up together. my god, I was so wrong to believe we could survive anything. I took a leap of faith to make things better in the long run, and I plummeted.
Stay with her for as long as you need. There will be problems. I believe we could have worked through things, and we still can. We were born to last together, you know that. Think back. Remember us. It will take a lifetime to replace all that. I know you miss me. I know you look into her eyes and wish she was me, but she never will be. You think I only want you because I cant have you. You're wrong. I believe you still want me, and I know I wanted you before, regardless of my need for a break. How could I not want a break? I provided for you and you still tried to have sex with nicole. I forgive you for everything, why wont you forgive me? Growing up is hard, but I did it with you. I can keep growing old with you. She is not the one. I know what its like when someone has affection for you and it hurts to tell them that they arent right. But you've convinced me before and I sucked it up and said sorry, but I have a real love. Ive said, "__, I think you're a good guy, but I love my michael, and Ive made a terrible mistake, and my first priority is him. Always." I pray that anyone else who cares for me forgets me, because its a mistake. My heart is with you. If ive ever wanted to leave its been to fix things for me AND you. I wanted us to come back stronger. I wanted to fix the sex, and the resentment, the doubts, by missing you and proving it to myself that I always would. And I do, however brave I try to be and act.
Come back. You asked me to only two weeks ago if you could. Do you know why I said no? Because I needed my sadness to feel real again. I didnt want to give in out of that sadness. I wanted a moment to remember you without our problems and miss you. I wanted you to miss me without needing me to spell my love out for you for the millionth time in 6 years. You know its there. The best thing in the world for us is us. I'm waiting. Don't be fooled by momentary comfort. It wont kill her to let her go. But I'm dying here. I'm here. The crayon is still in the shower. The photos are everywhere. I dont want new songs half as much as our old ones. No one else is allowed into our memories, our places, our jokes. I dont want to watch them disappear. But theyll have to if you wont love me as a lover, because I cant stand it.