(no subject)
Think about how incomprehensible other people are, and how little others will ever understand you. Even those who you know best. Think of how thick with secrets the atmosphere between bodies is. They will go unspoken too often. Think of everyone you have loved and will love, and the fact that they have and will continue to hide things from you. You will be betrayed more exquisitely than you can imagine by those you might least expect. Now meditate for a very long time on this until you feel it in your bones and it makes your blood run cold, until every time you think about it afterwards you feel as if you will faint but darkness and absense of thought and emotion is all you want anymore. And then just see if you can push this knowledge away forever. See how well you can ignore the part of the iceberg that lies under the water, the most enormous and deadly part. I'll bet you can't very well at all. I'll bet it gets to the point that it's with you every single day of your life. Like breathing. At least a few times a day, you'll focus on it, but even when you don't, when you're living and laughing as best as you can, it's still there. What would life be like if breathing became painfull for you? And no one else knew or aknowledged it? They absently shoved knives in your chest without realizing. But if you say anything, you risk spreading your disease.
Welcome to my world.
Welcome to my world.