I can't take this anymore

[flipper630320]

i don't know what to do. I don't know how i am supposed to handle this. i don't know why i can't just cope with things normal. I don't know. I feel sorry for those around me who are hurting. not due to me just because sometimes life sucks hard core.

however, when you feel like your entire family (excluding mom and brother) don't love you what are you supposed to feel? when you all were close and then some things happen in your life that you can't control and all of a sudden they are "too busy" to keep in touch what are you honestly supposed to think. i don't know what is going through my head. i don't know how to take things. and i don't know why my family decided to do this. i am the least favortie grand kid our of the four of us. They don't call me and they don't stop by to see me anymore. I'm done with it. I'm done with trying to please them all. ( I say that now but I know i will still try)

I just binged and purged because one of my greatest friends is going through shit that she can't control and she doesn't know how to handle it. i feel her pain and i just wish that she would have told me.

I got shit for hours at work this summer. and I'm taking 10 credit hours in Summer I alone. I must like pain because it envelopes me all the time.