sunshine
everything I say in this journal are my personal thoughts and
opinions, I can write whatever the heck I want to write in here.
don't like it? then click the [ x ] in the corner of the screen. >:-O
new background :) custom made by me!
today was slightly upsetting. I hate seeing my friends go through sadness. It upsets me. Then I just want to be upset because I feel that if I'm happy and bouncing around them, that I'm uncaring. And I do care. ALOT. I just can't see this person be so unhappy at times. :*(
other than that, today went ok. I bought an LV purse on Ebay and I'm bidding on another one actually. I'm excited about it. hehe, new purses yet again :)
I can't trust people. its as simple as black and white. one single thing to break my trust, will make things awkward and whatnot. Too many things happened in one week within only a few short days, that made me distance myself from everyone. I will take myself back to freshman year for a second; I got used in the worst way - I was a freshman - I was naive - I was easy to manipulate - and most of all, I was lied to. I've let go of what actually happen, but the factor remains that I can't trust people because of what happened and it probably did destroy me emotionally. I only trust .. one .. two .. three .. four .. five people as of right now. Two which are at other schools. Three being that I could trust with anything in the whole world knowing that whatever I do say or tell them, will be safe. I'm talking about big things though. Not the little ones. One mistake altered all my feelings, all my words, and some of my friends. I've stayed out of the drama. Like I said in an earlier post, we only have less than a month left of school. Then its summer. When it comes to summer, I won't be here half the time. I don't want the drama anymore. I don't want to deal with some ignorant people. I don't want to be put down. And Jon said my friendship is more of a burder than an enjoyment or whatever. When he said what he said about someone saying something, he made it sound like the person said it on purpose. But considering some other things in the past, and considering this happening, its hard for me to tell whether or not the past was real too. He also made it sound like I'm more of chore to everyone because of all my drama. So at this point, I'm staying away from that group. I mean, thats half the reason why I sit with the guys at lunch rather than the girls. I've distanced myself and will remain as that. It the midst of doing all of that, I have become somewhat happier with me and my life. I know who I can trust and who I can't. Like I said before; its as simple as black and white.
well, thats all I really have to say right now. I gotta go eat dinner and then finish writing in Karen's *lylas!!* yearbook :) see ya everyone!
xoxo * ames
opinions, I can write whatever the heck I want to write in here.
don't like it? then click the [ x ] in the corner of the screen. >:-O
new background :) custom made by me!
today was slightly upsetting. I hate seeing my friends go through sadness. It upsets me. Then I just want to be upset because I feel that if I'm happy and bouncing around them, that I'm uncaring. And I do care. ALOT. I just can't see this person be so unhappy at times. :*(
other than that, today went ok. I bought an LV purse on Ebay and I'm bidding on another one actually. I'm excited about it. hehe, new purses yet again :)
I can't trust people. its as simple as black and white. one single thing to break my trust, will make things awkward and whatnot. Too many things happened in one week within only a few short days, that made me distance myself from everyone. I will take myself back to freshman year for a second; I got used in the worst way - I was a freshman - I was naive - I was easy to manipulate - and most of all, I was lied to. I've let go of what actually happen, but the factor remains that I can't trust people because of what happened and it probably did destroy me emotionally. I only trust .. one .. two .. three .. four .. five people as of right now. Two which are at other schools. Three being that I could trust with anything in the whole world knowing that whatever I do say or tell them, will be safe. I'm talking about big things though. Not the little ones. One mistake altered all my feelings, all my words, and some of my friends. I've stayed out of the drama. Like I said in an earlier post, we only have less than a month left of school. Then its summer. When it comes to summer, I won't be here half the time. I don't want the drama anymore. I don't want to deal with some ignorant people. I don't want to be put down. And Jon said my friendship is more of a burder than an enjoyment or whatever. When he said what he said about someone saying something, he made it sound like the person said it on purpose. But considering some other things in the past, and considering this happening, its hard for me to tell whether or not the past was real too. He also made it sound like I'm more of chore to everyone because of all my drama. So at this point, I'm staying away from that group. I mean, thats half the reason why I sit with the guys at lunch rather than the girls. I've distanced myself and will remain as that. It the midst of doing all of that, I have become somewhat happier with me and my life. I know who I can trust and who I can't. Like I said before; its as simple as black and white.
well, thats all I really have to say right now. I gotta go eat dinner and then finish writing in Karen's *lylas!!* yearbook :) see ya everyone!
xoxo * ames