I Promise You (4/?)
Title: I Promise You (4/?)
Rating: R
Warning: Deals with rape
Pairing: Derek/Addison
Summary: It was one broken promise, but it changed everything. AU from end of Season 3.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author’s Note: To those of you who may have read this on ff.net - starting with this chapter, it’s going to veer a little slightly from what was posted there. Not by too much. It’s just going to be a little closer to canon (especially in terms of Addie backstory).
Oh, and the massive delay with this chapter? Umm, yeah. I suck. I’m sorry.
Chapter 4
Derek stole a quick look at his watch and tried desperately to stifle a sigh. Two hours. Two hours since Bailey had left them alone, and nothing had changed. They were exactly where she had left them - Derek rubbing Addison’s arm and stroking her hair and trying to comfort her as best as he could, knowing it wouldn’t make any difference because she was too terrified for it to make any difference, and Addison still lying there, curled tightly into herself, watching him.
Sometimes her lip would quiver, and her trembling was constant, but although tears brimmed in her eyes, she didn’t let herself actually cry. It didn’t surprise him. Addison was never one to cry in front of people if she could help it.
She was barely talking either, though. Mostly she just watched him, and when she did talk, it was the same thing as it was before: She wanted to go home.
Derek felt himself growing desperate. How was he supposed to convince her to let them examine her?
“Addie,” he started again, for what felt like the millionth time. “Addie, honey, don’t you want …”
“What happened to me?”
“What?” Derek frowned. It was the first thing she had said in two hours that wasn’t “I wanna go home.”
“What happened to me?” She repeated. Her voice was barely above a whisper.
“I …” He paused. “I don’t know.”
“What do you think happened?”
“I don’t know, Addie.” Derek was at a loss. He had assumed ... She didn’t know?
“I don’t remember.”
“What?”
“I don’t … I don’t remember … anything.” Addison blinked, then returned her focus to Derek. “I don’t remember,” she whimpered, and he could see the tears starting to form again.
“Hey. Hey.” He brought both hands to her cheeks, rubbing his thumbs along them, being careful not to put any pressure on her bruises. “It’s OK. You don’t have to …”
“I was at the church.”
He cocked his head. He wanted to say something, but instinct stopped him.
“At the wedding. I was there.” Her voice was flat, soft, almost like she was in a trance. “I remember … I remember Meredith. … She came down the aisle. … She stopped and she told everyone … she told everyone it was over and to go home. … Everyone was talking. All the people.”
Addison reached her good hand up slightly to indicate Derek.
“I remember seeing you,” she said softly. “You looked sad. … So sad … You tried to go after Meredith, but there were all the people. … You looked sad … I remember …
“I tried to go to you. I thought I could help. … You were coming down the aisle toward me. … But you didn’t see me. … You just … You just kept walking.”
Derek felt his heart sink, and he had to struggle to keep eye contact with her. She’s right. I didn’t notice she was there. How could I not have noticed she was there?
“All the people … everyone was leaving … I thought I should go too. … I started walking … I saw Callie. At the back of the church. …Callie was there. She looked pretty. … I remember. She looked pretty. … I wanted to talk to her, but she was … She was busy. … She didn’t see me. …So I went … I went outside …”
Addison trailed off, her eyes flicking back and forth. Derek watched as she scrunched her face up, concentrating, her eyebrows furrowing together. A wave of confusion spread through him. She was so scared, so upset, he had just thought it was because she knew. But it’s because she doesn’t know. Maybe it’s better that she doesn’t.
Her face collapsed, dejection written across it.
“I don’t … I don’t remember anything else… I don’t know.” She bit her lip. Derek went back to stroking her hair.
“It’s okay, Addie,” he whispered. “That was good. That was really good. You did good.”
“But I …”
“You don’t have to remember it all right now. It’s okay. You did good.”
“But I don’t know what happened …”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to remember right now.”
“Tell me what happened to me.”
“Addie, I don’t know.”
“But you do know,” her voice was getting higher. He could hear the frustration mixed with fear.
“Addie, I don’t.”
She didn’t answer right away. When she did speak, it was even softer than before. “You think I … You think he … that someone … that they …” She trailed off, but Derek knew what she meant.
He squeezed her hand. “I don’t know, Addie. But we need to find out.”
She was quiet. Derek decided to give it another go.
“Addison, do you think we can have them look at your wrist now?”
Addison didn’t move for a second, her eyes focused on his. Then she shook her head.
“It’s fine,” she said softly. “It doesn’t hurt. I’m fine. I want … I want to go home.”
“Addison.” Derek tried to make his voice as gentle as possible. “Addison, you are not fine. It is not okay. You need to let them look at you.”
“But I don’t want them to look at me! I’m fine.” She nodded, as though emphasizing her point. “I’m fine. Really.”
“Addie, please.”
“No.” Her lip was quivering again. “Noooo. I want to go home.” This time she was pleading.
“Addie, if you do this for me, I promise you can go home. You just need to do this first.”
“Why can’t I go home now?”
“Because, Addie, you can’t!” Now Derek was getting frustrated. “We need to find out what happened to you. We need to make sure you’re okay.”
“But I am okay!” Her voice rose another octave. “I told you. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine.”
“But I am!” And for the first time since she had been brought in, Addison began to cry. Really cry. The tears that had been welling up in her eyes since Derek had gotten there finally spilled over and began making their way down her cheeks.
She blinked furiously and tried to reach her hand up to wipe them away. Unfortunately, it was her broken hand.
“Owww,” she wailed as pain shot through her injured wrist. The tears started to come faster, and she started to shake.
Derek gently grabbed her arm, bringing it back down and tucking it protectively next to her stomach. He stroked her hair and waited. Sure enough, a few seconds later she had managed to stop crying.
“Addie, I need you to be examined, okay?”
She shook her head. “But I’m fine,” she whispered, her voice a little thick from the tears.
“I need you to be examined anyway.”
“But why?”
“Because we need to know for sure.”
“But I don’t want to know.”
“I know you don’t. But we need to know.”
“But why?” Addison was biting her lip, her good hand clenching the blanket to her chest as though her life depended on it. She sounded like a petulant child, but Derek couldn’t blame her. He couldn’t even imagine what she was going through, and he knew if he were her, all he would want would be to go home, hide under the covers and try to pretend this never happened.
“Because the person that hurt you, Addie, he’s still out there,” Derek said, and like a light turning on, he knew in an instant how to get her to agree. Ignoring the pang of guilt that flashed through him for what he knew he was about to say, he pressed on. It was the only way. “He’s out there, and he’s going to hurt someone else. Just like he hurt you. But you can save them.”
Addison blinked. “No, I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. You can have the exam, and the police can get evidence, and then they can find him and stop him before anyone else gets hurt.”
“But I don’t want to.”
“I know you don’t. But I know that you will.” He smiled at her softly, making sure to continue stroking her hair.
“Why?”
“Because I know you, and I know you’re a good doctor. And you’re a good person.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. And you don’t want anyone else to get hurt, I know that.” Derek took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Here went nothing. “And if you don’t do this, then someday you’re going to have a patient - an innocent little girl or a teenager or maybe someone’s mom or maybe someone just like you - and they’re going to be hurt, just like you are now, and they’re going to need you to examine them and to operate on them, and you’re going to know that you could have saved them but you didn’t. And you’re going to look at them and know that they got hurt because of you. And I know you don’t want that. You would never want that. That’s why I know you’re going to do this.”
Derek stopped. He couldn’t go on. A sudden influx of guilt was weighing him down. He felt like a horrible person. What was he doing? He was trying to guilt Addison into having a rape exam. Who does something like that?
He forced himself to open his eyes and look at her. Her eyes were closed now, and she was curled even tighter into herself, something he hadn’t thought was possible.
“Addison?”
“But … but … but maybe he didn’t hurt me?” Her voice was so soft, yet Derek could still hear the tiny inflection of hope.
“Addison ...”
“But I’m fine!” Addison opened her eyes, and he could see the tears beginning to pool in them again.
“I want to be fine.”
And then it hit him.
There were so many reasons Addison didn’t want that rape exam. He knew that. She didn’t want people looking at her, she didn’t want people knowing, but more than anything in the world, she didn’t want it to be real.
If they didn’t do the exam, she could tell herself it didn’t happen. She could tell herself that maybe she had just been mugged, maybe she had taken a really bad fall. Anything. Because anything would be better than what really happened.
“Oh, Addie,” he whispered, because he didn’t know what else to say.
“They’re all going to know,” she said sadly.
Derek nodded.
“They’re going to talk about me …”
“Yeah,” he said softly. “They probably are.”
He wasn’t going to deny it. It was true. People were going to talk about her; heck, the entire hospital staff probably already knew. Nothing stayed quiet at Seattle Grace. And then Addison, surgeon extraordinaire Addison, tough bitchy Addison, even adulterous whore Addison, was going to become Addison the rape victim. And, Derek knew, that apart from having to face the truth, that was the last thing she wanted.
“I can save them? My patients?” Addison’s voice trembled. Derek reached out once again, this time taking her good hand in his. He squeezed it softly.
“You can save them,” he said. “We can get evidence, and the police can find whoever did this, and they can stop whoever it was from doing it again.”
“I … I’m scared … ”
“Addie.” Derek gently took her face in his hands, tilting her head so he could look directly into her eyes. “I will be here the whole time. If you want me to be. And you can have anyone you want. Bailey can do it. She’ll help you. Or Callie. You could have Callie. Anyone you want, okay? I promise. And when you’re done, you can go home. I’ll take you home.”
“Really?”
“I promise.”
Time seemed to stand still as the two of them just looked at each other. Finally, Addison nodded.
“You’ll stay with me?” She asked softly.
“I’ll stay with you.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
Addison nodded. Derek breathed a sigh of relief, some of the tension draining from his body. He kissed her forehead.
“Good girl. I am so proud of you.”
“I want Bailey.”
“I will get you Bailey. Do you want someone else?”
“I … I don’t know.”
“How about Callie? Do you want Callie?”
“No!”
Derek started. He hadn’t expected that.
“Okay,” he said softly. “I’ll see who Bailey can find. Maybe Izzie? Would Izzie be okay?”
Addison stared at him a second and then shrugged. “Yeah …” she said hesitantly. “I guess so.”
“Okay. I’ll see if Bailey can get Izzie.”
Derek moved to stand up. Addison’s hand shot out and grabbed his arm.
“Don’t leave me!” Terror filled her eyes, and Derek felt his heart break once more.
“Oh, Addie.” He reached down to remove her hand. “I’m not leaving you. Okay? I’m not leaving you. I’m just going to get Bailey. I’ll be back really, really fast. I promise you. I’m not leaving you.”
“I don’t want you to go!”
“I know. I know you don’t. I promise I will be back really fast. I’m not leaving.”
“No! No! I don’t want you to go!”
“Hey.” Derek reached out and pushed her tenderly back against the pillows. “I’m just going right out there,” he gestured to the hallway on the other side of the curtain. “I’ll leave it open so you can see me. Okay? I will be back really soon. No one’s going to hurt you, okay? I promise. I’m just going out there. I’m not leaving you. I’m not. I’m not.”
Addison stared at him for a few seconds, but finally she seemed to understand. She nodded. “Okay. You can go.”
“I will be right back,” he said, stroking her hair one last time. “I will be right back.”
He dashed toward the exit, wanting to hurry to keep his word. He almost crashed into Bailey as he stepped into the hallway.
“Shepherd!”
“Miranda! God, you scared me.”
“So?”
He nodded. “She said okay.”
Bailey let out a low whistle. “Good. That’s good.”
“Yeah,” he agreed half-heartedly.
Bailey put a hand on his arm. “How’s she doing?”
“Pretty bad,” he answered, making sure to keep his voice low. He didn’t want Addison to hear. “She’s terrified. She doesn’t remember anything. She wants to go home. I don’t know how to help her.”
“She doesn’t remember?”
“She doesn’t remember.”
Bailey frowned. “Does she know … what happened to her?”
Derek sighed. “Yeah. She knows. Or, she suspects, at least. She doesn’t want it to be real, but she knows.”
Bailey nodded. “Okay. Okay.”
“She wants you to do the exam.”
“I thought she might.”
“And Izzie.”
“Izzie?”
“Yeah.” Derek nodded. “I asked if she wanted Callie, but she said no. She said Izzie would be okay.”
Bailey raised an eyebrow. Derek shrugged.
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“I should get back to her.” He tilted his head in the direction of her bed.
“I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”
Derek turned to head back in, but then thought of something else.
“Miranda!” he called softly.
She turned. “Yes?”
“Do they know? People, I mean. Do people know?”
Bailey smiled sadly. “The Chief knows. He wants to see her. Crazy fool, mumbling about needing to talk to her. But don’t you worry,” she continued when she noticed Derek open his mouth to speak, “I threatened him to stay away until she’s ready.”
Derek almost laughed. “Thanks.”
Bailey moved closer, laying a hand on his shoulder.
“You’re doing good,” she said. “Helping her. She needs you. She needs someone.”
He smiled wryly. “I’m trying. I just don’t know how much I can do.”
Bailey gave him a soft smile. “You won’t have to do it by yourself much longer.”
Derek frowned. “What?”
“We called her brother. He said he’d tell her parents”
Derek felt his heart stop. Her parents knew?
“You called her brother?”
“Yeah,” Bailey raised an eyebrow. “He’s her emergency contact. Is there something wrong?”
Derek forced himself to smile. “Of course not.”
“Okay, then.” Bailey nodded, turned and walked away.
Derek forced himself to remain calm. They called her brother? And Archer called her parents? What if they show up? No, that’s crazy. They’ve never showed up for anything before, right? Why would they do it now? They wouldn’t.
Would they?
Rating: R
Warning: Deals with rape
Pairing: Derek/Addison
Summary: It was one broken promise, but it changed everything. AU from end of Season 3.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author’s Note: To those of you who may have read this on ff.net - starting with this chapter, it’s going to veer a little slightly from what was posted there. Not by too much. It’s just going to be a little closer to canon (especially in terms of Addie backstory).
Oh, and the massive delay with this chapter? Umm, yeah. I suck. I’m sorry.
Chapter 4
Derek stole a quick look at his watch and tried desperately to stifle a sigh. Two hours. Two hours since Bailey had left them alone, and nothing had changed. They were exactly where she had left them - Derek rubbing Addison’s arm and stroking her hair and trying to comfort her as best as he could, knowing it wouldn’t make any difference because she was too terrified for it to make any difference, and Addison still lying there, curled tightly into herself, watching him.
Sometimes her lip would quiver, and her trembling was constant, but although tears brimmed in her eyes, she didn’t let herself actually cry. It didn’t surprise him. Addison was never one to cry in front of people if she could help it.
She was barely talking either, though. Mostly she just watched him, and when she did talk, it was the same thing as it was before: She wanted to go home.
Derek felt himself growing desperate. How was he supposed to convince her to let them examine her?
“Addie,” he started again, for what felt like the millionth time. “Addie, honey, don’t you want …”
“What happened to me?”
“What?” Derek frowned. It was the first thing she had said in two hours that wasn’t “I wanna go home.”
“What happened to me?” She repeated. Her voice was barely above a whisper.
“I …” He paused. “I don’t know.”
“What do you think happened?”
“I don’t know, Addie.” Derek was at a loss. He had assumed ... She didn’t know?
“I don’t remember.”
“What?”
“I don’t … I don’t remember … anything.” Addison blinked, then returned her focus to Derek. “I don’t remember,” she whimpered, and he could see the tears starting to form again.
“Hey. Hey.” He brought both hands to her cheeks, rubbing his thumbs along them, being careful not to put any pressure on her bruises. “It’s OK. You don’t have to …”
“I was at the church.”
He cocked his head. He wanted to say something, but instinct stopped him.
“At the wedding. I was there.” Her voice was flat, soft, almost like she was in a trance. “I remember … I remember Meredith. … She came down the aisle. … She stopped and she told everyone … she told everyone it was over and to go home. … Everyone was talking. All the people.”
Addison reached her good hand up slightly to indicate Derek.
“I remember seeing you,” she said softly. “You looked sad. … So sad … You tried to go after Meredith, but there were all the people. … You looked sad … I remember …
“I tried to go to you. I thought I could help. … You were coming down the aisle toward me. … But you didn’t see me. … You just … You just kept walking.”
Derek felt his heart sink, and he had to struggle to keep eye contact with her. She’s right. I didn’t notice she was there. How could I not have noticed she was there?
“All the people … everyone was leaving … I thought I should go too. … I started walking … I saw Callie. At the back of the church. …Callie was there. She looked pretty. … I remember. She looked pretty. … I wanted to talk to her, but she was … She was busy. … She didn’t see me. …So I went … I went outside …”
Addison trailed off, her eyes flicking back and forth. Derek watched as she scrunched her face up, concentrating, her eyebrows furrowing together. A wave of confusion spread through him. She was so scared, so upset, he had just thought it was because she knew. But it’s because she doesn’t know. Maybe it’s better that she doesn’t.
Her face collapsed, dejection written across it.
“I don’t … I don’t remember anything else… I don’t know.” She bit her lip. Derek went back to stroking her hair.
“It’s okay, Addie,” he whispered. “That was good. That was really good. You did good.”
“But I …”
“You don’t have to remember it all right now. It’s okay. You did good.”
“But I don’t know what happened …”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to remember right now.”
“Tell me what happened to me.”
“Addie, I don’t know.”
“But you do know,” her voice was getting higher. He could hear the frustration mixed with fear.
“Addie, I don’t.”
She didn’t answer right away. When she did speak, it was even softer than before. “You think I … You think he … that someone … that they …” She trailed off, but Derek knew what she meant.
He squeezed her hand. “I don’t know, Addie. But we need to find out.”
She was quiet. Derek decided to give it another go.
“Addison, do you think we can have them look at your wrist now?”
Addison didn’t move for a second, her eyes focused on his. Then she shook her head.
“It’s fine,” she said softly. “It doesn’t hurt. I’m fine. I want … I want to go home.”
“Addison.” Derek tried to make his voice as gentle as possible. “Addison, you are not fine. It is not okay. You need to let them look at you.”
“But I don’t want them to look at me! I’m fine.” She nodded, as though emphasizing her point. “I’m fine. Really.”
“Addie, please.”
“No.” Her lip was quivering again. “Noooo. I want to go home.” This time she was pleading.
“Addie, if you do this for me, I promise you can go home. You just need to do this first.”
“Why can’t I go home now?”
“Because, Addie, you can’t!” Now Derek was getting frustrated. “We need to find out what happened to you. We need to make sure you’re okay.”
“But I am okay!” Her voice rose another octave. “I told you. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine.”
“But I am!” And for the first time since she had been brought in, Addison began to cry. Really cry. The tears that had been welling up in her eyes since Derek had gotten there finally spilled over and began making their way down her cheeks.
She blinked furiously and tried to reach her hand up to wipe them away. Unfortunately, it was her broken hand.
“Owww,” she wailed as pain shot through her injured wrist. The tears started to come faster, and she started to shake.
Derek gently grabbed her arm, bringing it back down and tucking it protectively next to her stomach. He stroked her hair and waited. Sure enough, a few seconds later she had managed to stop crying.
“Addie, I need you to be examined, okay?”
She shook her head. “But I’m fine,” she whispered, her voice a little thick from the tears.
“I need you to be examined anyway.”
“But why?”
“Because we need to know for sure.”
“But I don’t want to know.”
“I know you don’t. But we need to know.”
“But why?” Addison was biting her lip, her good hand clenching the blanket to her chest as though her life depended on it. She sounded like a petulant child, but Derek couldn’t blame her. He couldn’t even imagine what she was going through, and he knew if he were her, all he would want would be to go home, hide under the covers and try to pretend this never happened.
“Because the person that hurt you, Addie, he’s still out there,” Derek said, and like a light turning on, he knew in an instant how to get her to agree. Ignoring the pang of guilt that flashed through him for what he knew he was about to say, he pressed on. It was the only way. “He’s out there, and he’s going to hurt someone else. Just like he hurt you. But you can save them.”
Addison blinked. “No, I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. You can have the exam, and the police can get evidence, and then they can find him and stop him before anyone else gets hurt.”
“But I don’t want to.”
“I know you don’t. But I know that you will.” He smiled at her softly, making sure to continue stroking her hair.
“Why?”
“Because I know you, and I know you’re a good doctor. And you’re a good person.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. And you don’t want anyone else to get hurt, I know that.” Derek took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Here went nothing. “And if you don’t do this, then someday you’re going to have a patient - an innocent little girl or a teenager or maybe someone’s mom or maybe someone just like you - and they’re going to be hurt, just like you are now, and they’re going to need you to examine them and to operate on them, and you’re going to know that you could have saved them but you didn’t. And you’re going to look at them and know that they got hurt because of you. And I know you don’t want that. You would never want that. That’s why I know you’re going to do this.”
Derek stopped. He couldn’t go on. A sudden influx of guilt was weighing him down. He felt like a horrible person. What was he doing? He was trying to guilt Addison into having a rape exam. Who does something like that?
He forced himself to open his eyes and look at her. Her eyes were closed now, and she was curled even tighter into herself, something he hadn’t thought was possible.
“Addison?”
“But … but … but maybe he didn’t hurt me?” Her voice was so soft, yet Derek could still hear the tiny inflection of hope.
“Addison ...”
“But I’m fine!” Addison opened her eyes, and he could see the tears beginning to pool in them again.
“I want to be fine.”
And then it hit him.
There were so many reasons Addison didn’t want that rape exam. He knew that. She didn’t want people looking at her, she didn’t want people knowing, but more than anything in the world, she didn’t want it to be real.
If they didn’t do the exam, she could tell herself it didn’t happen. She could tell herself that maybe she had just been mugged, maybe she had taken a really bad fall. Anything. Because anything would be better than what really happened.
“Oh, Addie,” he whispered, because he didn’t know what else to say.
“They’re all going to know,” she said sadly.
Derek nodded.
“They’re going to talk about me …”
“Yeah,” he said softly. “They probably are.”
He wasn’t going to deny it. It was true. People were going to talk about her; heck, the entire hospital staff probably already knew. Nothing stayed quiet at Seattle Grace. And then Addison, surgeon extraordinaire Addison, tough bitchy Addison, even adulterous whore Addison, was going to become Addison the rape victim. And, Derek knew, that apart from having to face the truth, that was the last thing she wanted.
“I can save them? My patients?” Addison’s voice trembled. Derek reached out once again, this time taking her good hand in his. He squeezed it softly.
“You can save them,” he said. “We can get evidence, and the police can find whoever did this, and they can stop whoever it was from doing it again.”
“I … I’m scared … ”
“Addie.” Derek gently took her face in his hands, tilting her head so he could look directly into her eyes. “I will be here the whole time. If you want me to be. And you can have anyone you want. Bailey can do it. She’ll help you. Or Callie. You could have Callie. Anyone you want, okay? I promise. And when you’re done, you can go home. I’ll take you home.”
“Really?”
“I promise.”
Time seemed to stand still as the two of them just looked at each other. Finally, Addison nodded.
“You’ll stay with me?” She asked softly.
“I’ll stay with you.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
Addison nodded. Derek breathed a sigh of relief, some of the tension draining from his body. He kissed her forehead.
“Good girl. I am so proud of you.”
“I want Bailey.”
“I will get you Bailey. Do you want someone else?”
“I … I don’t know.”
“How about Callie? Do you want Callie?”
“No!”
Derek started. He hadn’t expected that.
“Okay,” he said softly. “I’ll see who Bailey can find. Maybe Izzie? Would Izzie be okay?”
Addison stared at him a second and then shrugged. “Yeah …” she said hesitantly. “I guess so.”
“Okay. I’ll see if Bailey can get Izzie.”
Derek moved to stand up. Addison’s hand shot out and grabbed his arm.
“Don’t leave me!” Terror filled her eyes, and Derek felt his heart break once more.
“Oh, Addie.” He reached down to remove her hand. “I’m not leaving you. Okay? I’m not leaving you. I’m just going to get Bailey. I’ll be back really, really fast. I promise you. I’m not leaving you.”
“I don’t want you to go!”
“I know. I know you don’t. I promise I will be back really fast. I’m not leaving.”
“No! No! I don’t want you to go!”
“Hey.” Derek reached out and pushed her tenderly back against the pillows. “I’m just going right out there,” he gestured to the hallway on the other side of the curtain. “I’ll leave it open so you can see me. Okay? I will be back really soon. No one’s going to hurt you, okay? I promise. I’m just going out there. I’m not leaving you. I’m not. I’m not.”
Addison stared at him for a few seconds, but finally she seemed to understand. She nodded. “Okay. You can go.”
“I will be right back,” he said, stroking her hair one last time. “I will be right back.”
He dashed toward the exit, wanting to hurry to keep his word. He almost crashed into Bailey as he stepped into the hallway.
“Shepherd!”
“Miranda! God, you scared me.”
“So?”
He nodded. “She said okay.”
Bailey let out a low whistle. “Good. That’s good.”
“Yeah,” he agreed half-heartedly.
Bailey put a hand on his arm. “How’s she doing?”
“Pretty bad,” he answered, making sure to keep his voice low. He didn’t want Addison to hear. “She’s terrified. She doesn’t remember anything. She wants to go home. I don’t know how to help her.”
“She doesn’t remember?”
“She doesn’t remember.”
Bailey frowned. “Does she know … what happened to her?”
Derek sighed. “Yeah. She knows. Or, she suspects, at least. She doesn’t want it to be real, but she knows.”
Bailey nodded. “Okay. Okay.”
“She wants you to do the exam.”
“I thought she might.”
“And Izzie.”
“Izzie?”
“Yeah.” Derek nodded. “I asked if she wanted Callie, but she said no. She said Izzie would be okay.”
Bailey raised an eyebrow. Derek shrugged.
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“I should get back to her.” He tilted his head in the direction of her bed.
“I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”
Derek turned to head back in, but then thought of something else.
“Miranda!” he called softly.
She turned. “Yes?”
“Do they know? People, I mean. Do people know?”
Bailey smiled sadly. “The Chief knows. He wants to see her. Crazy fool, mumbling about needing to talk to her. But don’t you worry,” she continued when she noticed Derek open his mouth to speak, “I threatened him to stay away until she’s ready.”
Derek almost laughed. “Thanks.”
Bailey moved closer, laying a hand on his shoulder.
“You’re doing good,” she said. “Helping her. She needs you. She needs someone.”
He smiled wryly. “I’m trying. I just don’t know how much I can do.”
Bailey gave him a soft smile. “You won’t have to do it by yourself much longer.”
Derek frowned. “What?”
“We called her brother. He said he’d tell her parents”
Derek felt his heart stop. Her parents knew?
“You called her brother?”
“Yeah,” Bailey raised an eyebrow. “He’s her emergency contact. Is there something wrong?”
Derek forced himself to smile. “Of course not.”
“Okay, then.” Bailey nodded, turned and walked away.
Derek forced himself to remain calm. They called her brother? And Archer called her parents? What if they show up? No, that’s crazy. They’ve never showed up for anything before, right? Why would they do it now? They wouldn’t.
Would they?