I Promise You (2/?)
Title: I Promise You (2/?)
Rating: R (warning: deals with rape)
Pairing: Derek/Addison
Summary: It was one broken promise, but it changed everything. AU from end of Season 3.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author’s note: I posted some of this on ff.net but I’m posting it here for two reasons - one, I’m hoping to actually finish it this time around, but more importantly, I have really grown to respect the writers on here, and the great critiques people leave. I’m hoping people will be kind enough to give me some of that criticism as well.
Chapter 2
Looking back on it, Derek Shepherd could barely recall what happened next. He would remember it felt like he stood there forever, holding the phone in his hand, while voices beside him all talked at once.
“What happened?”
“What’s going on?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Derek?”
He later thought he probably did manage to whisper “Okay” to Bailey, and he thought she said something about meeting him in the ER, but he couldn’t be sure. He felt like he was in a fog. This can’t be happening.
Images were flashing in his head. Addison trembling. Addison crying. Addison in his arms.
And then he remembered the dream. But it wasn’t a dream. And his words. His words were echoing in his head. I promised her.
Later, Derek wouldn’t really remember how he got to the hospital. He was pretty sure the only he thing he managed to say to the others was, “I’ve got to go.” Somehow he made it down the hall, back to Mer’s room and pulled on clothes. Then he was in the car and it was heading to Seattle Grace, but later he was pretty sure that was only because Meredith had somehow ended up coming with him and she was driving. She held his hand the whole way.
Derek would remember thinking that was a little ironic, since he was pretty sure he hadn’t told Meredith yet what had happened, and he didn’t know how comforting she would be if she knew he was upset over his ex-wife.
It wasn’t until they arrived at the hospital that things started happening that Derek would remember. Things he would remember only too vividly for years to come.
They came in through the ER, hurrying past the one ambulance that was there and the few people who were gathering around it to unload victims.
“Derek.” Meredith gripped his arm as they almost sprinted through the doors. “What happened? Something happened, didn’t it? To Addison? Something happened to Addison?”
Derek stopped so fast he almost took Meredith down as he turned to face her. He still couldn’t believe this was happening. Bailey has to be wrong. She has to be.
“Why would you say that?”
Meredith tilted her head to the side. “The look … in your eyes … I just never … it’s someone you care about, I can see that. And just … process of elimination, you know? Plus,” she paused, “if it was someone else … Richard or Mark or George or … someone … you would tell us, but just … It’s Addison, isn’t it?”
Derek didn’t answer her. He didn’t know what to say.
“Derek?” Meredith reached out tentatively to stroke his cheek. “You can tell me. I want to help.”
He took a deep breath. She was going to find out anyway.
“She … Bailey said … She …. She was …” Derek closed his eyes. He wanted to tell her. He did. He just didn’t want to say it out load.
“Okay,” Meredith kept stroking his cheek, this time grabbing his hand with her other one. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. It’s oh …”
“She was raped.” Derek’s voice was barely above a whisper, but he forced himself to open his eyes and look directly into hers.
“What? Oh, God. Derek!” Meredith’s hand flew to her mouth. Then without another word, she turned, tugging at his hand and pulling him along behind her.
That’s how they looked when they finally spotted Miranda Bailey and made a beeline over to where she was standing in a corner. She looked up as Meredith and Derek stopped in front of her. Bailey looked dejected, sad. Nothing like the tough Nazi they normally saw.
Bailey nodded at them. “You’re here. Good.”
“She’s asking for me?” Derek said. “Why?” In the few seconds the fog in his brain had lifted enough so he could wonder about anything at all, that was the only question that had been going through his head. Why would she ask for him?
“I don’t know, Shepherd.” Bailey looked at him, and her trademark tone was back. “She’s traumatized and in shock. She’s scared out of her mind. I’m not sure she’s really thinking very clearly.”
Neither Derek nor Meredith made a move. They just stared at her.
Bailey sighed. When she spoke again, her voice was softer. “I don’t know, Derek. I don’t. It surprised me, too. I thought maybe she didn’t remember …” Bailey’s voice trailed off for a second. “But she remembers the wedding. At least I think she does. She nodded when we asked her.
“So I don’t know. I don’t know why she asked for you. But she’s scared and she’s traumatized and she’s in really bad shape, and for some reason, right now she trusts you. So I need you to do something.”
Derek nodded. “I’ll do anything.”
“I need you to convince her to let us examine her.”
“What?” Derek frowned. “But she knows …”
“She said no,” Bailey said. She reached out and put a hand on Derek’s arm. Meredith was still gripping his other hand. “She’s barely talking. She won’t tell us what happened. She keeps asking for you. And every time someone makes a move to examine her, she says no. And that’s it. That’s all she’ll say. So I need you to convince her to have it.”
“Miranda …” Derek trailed off. He didn’t know what to say. Hell, he didn’t even know what to think.
“What happened? Do you know what happened?” It was Meredith who finally spoke.
Bailey shook her head. “Not really. I know the paramedics brought her in. They found her at the church.”
“Oh my God,” Derek whispered. His free hand clasped over his face as realization began to dawn. “I didn’t even know she was there.”
“This happened at Cristina’s wedding?” Meredith looked stunned. Derek thought he saw tears starting to gather in her eyes.
“I don’t know,” Bailey said again. “A church worker went there this morning to get things ready. He found her. That’s all I know.”
“She was conscious?” Meredith asked.
“Not then. She’s been in and out,” Bailey said. “She’s awake now. In pain, but awake.”
“She has … other injuries?” Meredith gripped Derek’s hand tighter, waiting for the answer.
Bailey nodded. “Bruises. Scrapes. I think her wrist is broken.”
Derek finally spoke. “You think?”
“Like I said, she won’t let anyone touch her. Not even to look at her arm. We’re lucky we got her in a hospital gown before she woke up.”
“So then you aren’t sure?” Derek felt a flicker of hope inside him. Maybe they were wrong. “You aren’t sure she was …?” He could barely stand to say it.
“Raped?” Bailey finished. “We aren’t sure she was raped? No. Of course we’re not sure. But, Derek, you have to know. … She was naked, Derek. When they found her. She was naked, and they found her dress and it was ripped. And she’s bruised and she’s scraped. And there was blood between her legs. So, no, I’m not sure, but I am a doctor, and I’ve seen this before, and as much as I would like to think that I’m wrong here, I don’t think I’m wrong. She was raped, Derek. I’m almost positive.”
Derek nodded. “Okay,” he whispered slowly. “Can I see her now?”
Bailey smiled softly. “Yeah, you can see her.”
She turned around and led the way past gurneys and patients and nurses and other doctors, coming to a stop, finally, in front of an exam room.
“You should do it,” she said to Derek. “We’ll stay out here. We don’t want to scare her any more than she already is.”
Derek nodded, then turned to Meredith.
“You’ll wait for me?”
“Of course.” She looked at Bailey. “I mean, I have rounds. But I can …”
“You can stay, Dr. Grey,” Bailey said. “And Shepherd?”
Derek found himself looking directly into Bailey’s eyes.
“I swear to God, if you do anything or say anything stupid or thoughtless or do anything at all that can be interrupted as you being an ass to her … If you do or say anything to hurt her or scare her more than she already is or if you make her cry … I swear I will kick your sorry ass so hard you will not be able to walk for days.”
Derek nodded. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he had no intention of hurting Addison in any way. Instead he turned around, took a deep breath, then pushed the curtain aside and stepped in.