That's right...I'm updating again
Ok ok, so I do not know why I am updating again. I guess I just feel the need to keep the story current. Since Matt told me that he is happier being single than being with me, I screamed at him and left with Velda, leaving him standing in the driveway. That was ignorant of me, and I later called and left an apologetic voicemail. But I was hurt and he crushed my heart, over and over again. Anyways, after that, I didnt call him for 2 days (which is like 2 lifetimes to me). I am used to talking to him for several hours a day. But I called him tonight and he said that he was busy watching a movie and asked if he could call me back tomorrow. I stalkerishly asked him where he was. He said he was at home, so I kinda hoped that he would just be watching it with his family. He said he was watching White Noise, and when I said "wow I wanted to see that" he pretended that he didnt know that, even tho we almost rented it 2 weeks ago, but they were out. So, he promised to call tomorrow and went back to watch the movie. I didnt ask who he was watching it with, cuz I honestly didnt want to know. Then Snyder called to warn me not to call matt since Ashley's car was in his driveway. Ashley is the baby's good friend, and since the baby can not drive, Ashley is he driver too. So, Matt was watching the movie with the baby, even tho he told him they were nothing more than friends. I guess they could be sitting on different couches, but I must assume they were not. So that is where it stands. I will see what he says when he calls tomorrow. I am not sure why it hurts since we are "seeing other people." Maybe its since IM NOT SEEING ANYONE ELSE. I should move on, but I dont think you should do that so quickly after 4 years! It just isnt cool! So, I bought the Backstreet Boys cd today. It has some nice music that is pretty fitting for my situation as well. For example....
I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through
And then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe
That there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say
I would do it all again
I just want you to know
~Backstreet Boys--
I Just Want You To Know~
good song. I really like that CD, despite its girlyness. Music helps me out a lot. Helps me to express myself. Right now, I am confused. I feel like I miss Matt like crazy and Im willing to do anything to get him back. But at the same time, I don't want someone back that doesnt want to be with me and is 100% sure of that. So, that is my pickle. I am in a pickle. My feelings are just as strong, I just try to mute them. Matt pushed his feelings to the back of his head, so why can't I do that too? GRRR TO ME. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I truly need it.
I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through
And then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe
That there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say
I would do it all again
I just want you to know
~Backstreet Boys--
I Just Want You To Know~
good song. I really like that CD, despite its girlyness. Music helps me out a lot. Helps me to express myself. Right now, I am confused. I feel like I miss Matt like crazy and Im willing to do anything to get him back. But at the same time, I don't want someone back that doesnt want to be with me and is 100% sure of that. So, that is my pickle. I am in a pickle. My feelings are just as strong, I just try to mute them. Matt pushed his feelings to the back of his head, so why can't I do that too? GRRR TO ME. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I truly need it.