college drama? i feel like i'm in the 8th grade.
I think I have a problem with keeping secrets.
I don’t really think that. I think my definition for secret is different than everybody else’s. My concept of a secret is more intense, more personal, simply something between only us. People make simple things seem so complicated, they assume these nothings are so important to everybody else, when no one else truly cares. For a moment maybe, if they’re like that they’ll judge, but it doesn’t matter. So much doesn’t matter. Perhaps I just don’t understand their meaning of secret.
I have people’s secrets. Things I’d never say to anyone. But don’t we all? Aren’t we all holding these stories for other people, taking their confessions, regrets, and problems and placing them deep within ourselves? Probably next to our own.
But I think it’s all very amateurish and naïve. I don’t have too much to hide, my weight is kept on my sleeve and if someone asks I point and share a story with them.
I think I think too much, as many other people do. And when our minds sit and stir our lives they find the weirdest of things to fixate on. These innocuous moments turn into events and a few words morph into deep conversation. We find nothings and make them somethings. Because it makes are heart beat faster? Or What?
I don’t have a problem with keeping secrets. I have decided. I believe myself to be immune to something as trivial as gossip and rumor. Whatever, oh please, I for sure have played the game. But can’t I put myself above it? Yes.
Next to more connection, and stronger meanings, relationships that are based on truth and not part of the story. I’m stupid for wanting to know everything about a person I like, in the platonic since that a friendship never ends, but we’ll be here for a while. We might as a well be comfortable speaking openly to one another.
We are like fucking adults after all.
So come on, want to tell me a story? (...)
And then:
People who try and hide who they are, who try to hold on to their words and thoughts and never let them go - are stupid.
You’re defying human nature, and ignorant, and leave me alone - I don’t want to hear your ridiculous life view, you are naïve. Get over yourself.
Fuck this, it’s not even drama. You’re just all making it up, don’t you get that? None of this really matters, and there you are talking about it like it’s the center of our lives. Let it go. Be bigger than first impressions and hushed conversations.
It’s fucking stupid. People should just be happy. Trying to create false stories so you don’t have tell people “secrets” - straight up bullshit. I don’t want to be your friend. I want friends that last forever. And true friends, are fucking honest.
So now I have to move on. Move back, to another person. A true friend from the past. You cycle in you cycle out. Because this has gone to far. I’m not going to be a part of the circle and listen to the lies ya’ll are trying to pass off as truths. Fuck that. How many times have I kept my mouth shut and watch you lie to someone right in front of me? Another friend, someone you say is your friend, and you fucking lie to their face. We all know each other, what difference does it make?
Who fucking cares? Seriously?
Can’t even say anything, what is the point? People lie for no god damn reason. Why? You aren’t that important, your little scandals are straight from the soap operas. It’s all happened before. We all know how to deal with it. Trying to pump it, make it seem like a fucking ordeal instead of one night of drunkenness.
Fucking stupid as shit.
I don’t really think that. I think my definition for secret is different than everybody else’s. My concept of a secret is more intense, more personal, simply something between only us. People make simple things seem so complicated, they assume these nothings are so important to everybody else, when no one else truly cares. For a moment maybe, if they’re like that they’ll judge, but it doesn’t matter. So much doesn’t matter. Perhaps I just don’t understand their meaning of secret.
I have people’s secrets. Things I’d never say to anyone. But don’t we all? Aren’t we all holding these stories for other people, taking their confessions, regrets, and problems and placing them deep within ourselves? Probably next to our own.
But I think it’s all very amateurish and naïve. I don’t have too much to hide, my weight is kept on my sleeve and if someone asks I point and share a story with them.
I think I think too much, as many other people do. And when our minds sit and stir our lives they find the weirdest of things to fixate on. These innocuous moments turn into events and a few words morph into deep conversation. We find nothings and make them somethings. Because it makes are heart beat faster? Or What?
I don’t have a problem with keeping secrets. I have decided. I believe myself to be immune to something as trivial as gossip and rumor. Whatever, oh please, I for sure have played the game. But can’t I put myself above it? Yes.
Next to more connection, and stronger meanings, relationships that are based on truth and not part of the story. I’m stupid for wanting to know everything about a person I like, in the platonic since that a friendship never ends, but we’ll be here for a while. We might as a well be comfortable speaking openly to one another.
We are like fucking adults after all.
So come on, want to tell me a story? (...)
And then:
People who try and hide who they are, who try to hold on to their words and thoughts and never let them go - are stupid.
You’re defying human nature, and ignorant, and leave me alone - I don’t want to hear your ridiculous life view, you are naïve. Get over yourself.
Fuck this, it’s not even drama. You’re just all making it up, don’t you get that? None of this really matters, and there you are talking about it like it’s the center of our lives. Let it go. Be bigger than first impressions and hushed conversations.
It’s fucking stupid. People should just be happy. Trying to create false stories so you don’t have tell people “secrets” - straight up bullshit. I don’t want to be your friend. I want friends that last forever. And true friends, are fucking honest.
So now I have to move on. Move back, to another person. A true friend from the past. You cycle in you cycle out. Because this has gone to far. I’m not going to be a part of the circle and listen to the lies ya’ll are trying to pass off as truths. Fuck that. How many times have I kept my mouth shut and watch you lie to someone right in front of me? Another friend, someone you say is your friend, and you fucking lie to their face. We all know each other, what difference does it make?
Who fucking cares? Seriously?
Can’t even say anything, what is the point? People lie for no god damn reason. Why? You aren’t that important, your little scandals are straight from the soap operas. It’s all happened before. We all know how to deal with it. Trying to pump it, make it seem like a fucking ordeal instead of one night of drunkenness.
Fucking stupid as shit.