all men are dog's
`Well livejournal its been a while and im here again.To tell the truth thats something im not used to i reallly forgot about this but its a lot i wanna sharea cuz right now i have nobody else. Well if you did'nt know im in the army now been in for a lil over a year now. I have a healthy almost a year old he'll be one Jan the 10th. And right now im stationed in mosul, Iraq.
Vut where do I start how do live with something like this, on the 24th of this month my wife found out that all men are truly dogs and she founf out the hard way too. I was on myspace and living a seprate life from which i should i was on there being single, talking to girls, more lies , just know that i was on there not doing what i was suppose to be doing and it caught up with me and it came with a vengence. Me and my wife well former wife cux now i will be divoreced. Have been together a while and we went through some rough shit but nothing like this . I know im always asking her why she dosent trust me well, i gave her a good enough reason now. So everyone has they own defenition of cheating, some do it physical, some meantall, and me ..online.Thats why im not sure if i will be back on here i might just delete this account also. Because right now i just wanna dissapear from everyone.and i mean everyone im so hurt and i dont even know how to describe it this pain that im feeling is something new to me. I felt pain from funerals, physical, and other but its just stuck in my chest and will not go away and it hurts so bad. The myspace account i had i had it for a lil while now i first made it when i went to Cali. for NTC my boy lopez made me one and from there on..but back then i wasnt doing what im doing now i mean i might flirt a lil bit but thats bout it none of the talking like im doing now. I really dont need to get into any details about it. Right now its like the 29th of dec i havent talk to sabrina in a while and im not sure when ill call again, like i said i just wanna dissapear from everyone im so ashamed and just disgusted with myself, that i havent slept since then/ i mean i had a few cat, power naps but just a full nights rest i say forget about it every minute its something im always telling my self something like..why she loved you so much she would do anything for me, all she asked for is for our son and the bbills be taken care of and i ubderstabd why she alwyas grilled me about it cuz sometimes you gotta grill things in my head for me to really pay attention but ill ask myself that then ill wonder how would things be on this day if she didnt find out. Would we be lauging and cryin on the phonw or would it be more of that dead silence? Im happpy that sabrina found everything out and i still dont know how but im glad she did it feels like a lotta weight has been lifted i guess if you carry around a bunch of lies and deceit it gets heavy after a while you kno. And dont get me wrong im still in love with my bri i know what your probaly saying if you were so in love why?? why lie why cheat on the mother of your child your other half your sir in your lungs the reason that your at where your at my everything why why why? I guess that im just greedy like face to face to someone i kno i would never cheat on my wife like back in the rear i remember twice that a girl wanted me and i told her ass that im married and i cant do her like that so ..i mean i put my foot down i held my ground it want to temtation to do it it wasnt no seduction that made me think about doing it it was like " naw im good im married and that was it" and i felt so damn good after that i mean to let somebody know that your in love with someone just automatically puts a smile on your face or when you hear the name of someone you love you start thinking bout all the good and whatg you miss most about him/her. Thats true love really, but when im on the computer i guess i feel like i will never get caught or anything im not saying that if i didnt get caught that this and that. im saying that i felt like a differnt person its hard to explain i mean when i was on there i was like just tgel them that your married and youll still get the same amount of play and everything but i didnt then i was laike dont talk to them like that but i did anywayz i kno she found out everything and thats what hurts the most because she dosent even know mw and i hate to say it but....its the ttruth tgo whom this my concern for the last coupke of days ive contaplated suicide i mean i had a loaded weapon to my head with no saftey but i said i cant go out like no punk if i doe then itll be on the battlefield not the bathroom, everyone keeps asking me if im ok cuz i dont feel like doing anything cuz here everybody knows me i mean im alwyas motivaated asking how can i help let me do something but not no more im just quiet and keep to myself. What ive done shouldnt no one be on the reciving end dont hurt the ones you love by being petty and greedy with life enjoy her comany enjpy the smell of her hair enjoy her looking at you with those eyes and say i love you just enjoy the laughter this is not a confession to my sins its something to get a lil off my chest i dont have a email no more and im staying off of myspace. but if you know sabrina carroll let her kno this let her kno that the man she used to love is sorry but just stay away..dont come back to me i dont want to hurt you know more i dont know if i can bleed for the both of us anymore i love you still and im still deeply madly truly in love with you but its over and im sorry that it was my fault..tell her that im sorry that i never listen to to you im sorry it took so long for the power of attorney im sorry that my side of the room was always dirty im sorry that we were living paychecj to paycheck im sorry that you met me im sorry that i came into your world and fucked it up sometimes i regret meeting you cuz how bad i hurt you im sorry that you married me but im not sorry for our son just let him kno to treat women with respect kindness and everything to my other half i know i owe you an explanation and you will get it bri im sorry that you had to find out this way i cant belive that i fucked up christmas for everybody devontes first and i wasnt there and all this other,, i know you wont belive it but i am i know that sorrys not good enough bti im hurting forreal just lets call it what it is my heart wont never let you go and u know ut i dont know how to live without you because you have always been in my life it just hurts sp much eveb right now if you ever read this just know that \ just know that im a dog just think about how many times i hurt you i cheated just stay away please ill do the paperwork i want you back so bad so bad but im just tired of hurting you well work something out for our son but we need this god only knows how much regret i have now and sorrow my love for you sabrina is everlasting meaning no matter what i will always be in love with you i just cant stand the fact htat i hurt you so much i will call on devontes birthday i lopve you i dont have a email so dont try to contact me i was on here cuz i needed to breathe tell everyione if u get this is that im sorry for ruining christmas and the box she sent me is on the way back to her because it wouldnt be right of me to accept that just kno that im npot sure if your still on here or not
Vut where do I start how do live with something like this, on the 24th of this month my wife found out that all men are truly dogs and she founf out the hard way too. I was on myspace and living a seprate life from which i should i was on there being single, talking to girls, more lies , just know that i was on there not doing what i was suppose to be doing and it caught up with me and it came with a vengence. Me and my wife well former wife cux now i will be divoreced. Have been together a while and we went through some rough shit but nothing like this . I know im always asking her why she dosent trust me well, i gave her a good enough reason now. So everyone has they own defenition of cheating, some do it physical, some meantall, and me ..online.Thats why im not sure if i will be back on here i might just delete this account also. Because right now i just wanna dissapear from everyone.and i mean everyone im so hurt and i dont even know how to describe it this pain that im feeling is something new to me. I felt pain from funerals, physical, and other but its just stuck in my chest and will not go away and it hurts so bad. The myspace account i had i had it for a lil while now i first made it when i went to Cali. for NTC my boy lopez made me one and from there on..but back then i wasnt doing what im doing now i mean i might flirt a lil bit but thats bout it none of the talking like im doing now. I really dont need to get into any details about it. Right now its like the 29th of dec i havent talk to sabrina in a while and im not sure when ill call again, like i said i just wanna dissapear from everyone im so ashamed and just disgusted with myself, that i havent slept since then/ i mean i had a few cat, power naps but just a full nights rest i say forget about it every minute its something im always telling my self something like..why she loved you so much she would do anything for me, all she asked for is for our son and the bbills be taken care of and i ubderstabd why she alwyas grilled me about it cuz sometimes you gotta grill things in my head for me to really pay attention but ill ask myself that then ill wonder how would things be on this day if she didnt find out. Would we be lauging and cryin on the phonw or would it be more of that dead silence? Im happpy that sabrina found everything out and i still dont know how but im glad she did it feels like a lotta weight has been lifted i guess if you carry around a bunch of lies and deceit it gets heavy after a while you kno. And dont get me wrong im still in love with my bri i know what your probaly saying if you were so in love why?? why lie why cheat on the mother of your child your other half your sir in your lungs the reason that your at where your at my everything why why why? I guess that im just greedy like face to face to someone i kno i would never cheat on my wife like back in the rear i remember twice that a girl wanted me and i told her ass that im married and i cant do her like that so ..i mean i put my foot down i held my ground it want to temtation to do it it wasnt no seduction that made me think about doing it it was like " naw im good im married and that was it" and i felt so damn good after that i mean to let somebody know that your in love with someone just automatically puts a smile on your face or when you hear the name of someone you love you start thinking bout all the good and whatg you miss most about him/her. Thats true love really, but when im on the computer i guess i feel like i will never get caught or anything im not saying that if i didnt get caught that this and that. im saying that i felt like a differnt person its hard to explain i mean when i was on there i was like just tgel them that your married and youll still get the same amount of play and everything but i didnt then i was laike dont talk to them like that but i did anywayz i kno she found out everything and thats what hurts the most because she dosent even know mw and i hate to say it but....its the ttruth tgo whom this my concern for the last coupke of days ive contaplated suicide i mean i had a loaded weapon to my head with no saftey but i said i cant go out like no punk if i doe then itll be on the battlefield not the bathroom, everyone keeps asking me if im ok cuz i dont feel like doing anything cuz here everybody knows me i mean im alwyas motivaated asking how can i help let me do something but not no more im just quiet and keep to myself. What ive done shouldnt no one be on the reciving end dont hurt the ones you love by being petty and greedy with life enjoy her comany enjpy the smell of her hair enjoy her looking at you with those eyes and say i love you just enjoy the laughter this is not a confession to my sins its something to get a lil off my chest i dont have a email no more and im staying off of myspace. but if you know sabrina carroll let her kno this let her kno that the man she used to love is sorry but just stay away..dont come back to me i dont want to hurt you know more i dont know if i can bleed for the both of us anymore i love you still and im still deeply madly truly in love with you but its over and im sorry that it was my fault..tell her that im sorry that i never listen to to you im sorry it took so long for the power of attorney im sorry that my side of the room was always dirty im sorry that we were living paychecj to paycheck im sorry that you met me im sorry that i came into your world and fucked it up sometimes i regret meeting you cuz how bad i hurt you im sorry that you married me but im not sorry for our son just let him kno to treat women with respect kindness and everything to my other half i know i owe you an explanation and you will get it bri im sorry that you had to find out this way i cant belive that i fucked up christmas for everybody devontes first and i wasnt there and all this other,, i know you wont belive it but i am i know that sorrys not good enough bti im hurting forreal just lets call it what it is my heart wont never let you go and u know ut i dont know how to live without you because you have always been in my life it just hurts sp much eveb right now if you ever read this just know that \ just know that im a dog just think about how many times i hurt you i cheated just stay away please ill do the paperwork i want you back so bad so bad but im just tired of hurting you well work something out for our son but we need this god only knows how much regret i have now and sorrow my love for you sabrina is everlasting meaning no matter what i will always be in love with you i just cant stand the fact htat i hurt you so much i will call on devontes birthday i lopve you i dont have a email so dont try to contact me i was on here cuz i needed to breathe tell everyione if u get this is that im sorry for ruining christmas and the box she sent me is on the way back to her because it wouldnt be right of me to accept that just kno that im npot sure if your still on here or not